seeking26 Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 My little girl got a cut on her shoulder last night, my husband and I never saw it happen we just saw that she was bleeding when she got up this morning. Our daughter told us she got it from falling in the hallway. So, I told my mom that this happened just as part of a normal conversation and she is convinced that the cut was demonic. I just recently told my mom that I am an Atheist, ever since then she has not stopped trying to tell me that my Atheism is a result of being blinded by Satan. Now with our daughter's cut she is even more sure that it is the work of the devil. How do I even deal with this kind of craziness? What can I say to someone who thinks that demons sneak around in children's rooms and poke them while they are sleeping? So far I just said "No I don't think so," and changed the subject. Any suggestions on what to say next time I have to deal with this.....and how will I keep from loosing my own mind due to frustration? !!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking26 Posted January 31, 2010 Author Share Posted January 31, 2010 My little girl got a cut on her shoulder last night, my husband and I never saw it happen we just saw that she was bleeding when she got up this morning. Our daughter told us she got it from falling in the hallway. So, I told my mom that this happened just as part of a normal conversation and she is convinced that the cut was demonic. I just recently told my mom that I am an Atheist, ever since then she has not stopped trying to tell me that my Atheism is a result of being blinded by Satan. Now with our daughter's cut she is even more sure that it is the work of the devil. How do I even deal with this kind of craziness? What can I say to someone who thinks that demons sneak around in children's rooms and poke them while they are sleeping? So far I just said "No I don't think so," and changed the subject. Any suggestions on what to say next time I have to deal with this.....and how will I keep from loosing my own mind due to frustration? !!!!! Just say these words when in her presence and she is being a pain in the ass...."This subject is not open for discussion!"...if she keeps it up...repeat it again...if she still wants to be a pain in the ass, if on the phone...hangup on her abruptly, if in her presence at her home, drop everything and leave, if she is at your house, tell her it is time to go home. It won't take long and she will eventually shut up herself...especially if she knows you mean business. Thanks. I'm not even sure why I posted this topic because I had thought of the possibility of just refusing to speak about these kinds of things with my relatives. I guess I should have added a few more details. My Mom is both opinionated and overly sensitive. She thinks that she is always right and she thinks that if anyone disagrees with her that they hate her. I have experienced this in the past when we had a disagreement. If I tell her that I don't want to talk about a subject she will take it as a personal rejection. I had this happen just last night because I posted a difference of opinion than hers on facebook. She sent me a message asking why I was upset with her and I had to explain that I wasn't the least bit upset I just had a difference of opinion. So the problem is not just that she won't stop pushing the off the wall beliefs, but that she thinks I have to agree to still care about her. It is very stressful I must admit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 Your mom sounds like how my mom was. That over-sensitivity is a control tactic to make sure you know you're still under her thumb. Parents are often like little children that have to be trained to behave properly and have better manners. Her reactions to things are not your problem. You are going to have to say to your mom bluntly "You know mom, I'm tired of tip-toeing around your feelings. You are simply going to have to grow up and accept responsibility for yourself and grow a thicker skin. I DO have differing opinions from you, and I'm not going to tolerate you badgering me with yours." She's going to react like a child throwing a tantrum and you're just going to have to walk away and let her cry herself out for a while. But if you keep consistent with your behavior, she'll eventually change how she acts towards you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking26 Posted January 31, 2010 Author Share Posted January 31, 2010 Her reactions to things are not your problem. Wow, that's a concept I hadn't thought about much. As a Christian I used to think that other people's reactions and actions were my problem, hence the requirement that women dress modestly to keep men from lusting and those sorts of beliefs. I'm not at all concerned about causing her to sin, I don't believe in sin anymore, but I was concerned that the blame for our relationship deteriorating might fall on me. You have a good point though, it's really not my problem. I'm amazed at how long it takes to deprogram myself from religious teachings. I wonder how many other ex-christians have a problem breaking free even after they have physically left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ContraBardus Posted January 31, 2010 Share Posted January 31, 2010 The problem is not that they went crazy, but rather that you went sane. I can understand this. My family is crazy too, but I've realized that I'm the one who's changed. Except my Mormon Uncle. He was crazy to begin with, but went more insane since he converted to Mormonism. Not in an aggressive or dangerous way, but he says some pretty crazy and stupid stuff at some family get togethers. Plus, I've seen him in his 'magic underwear'. Creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaticheathen Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I love this forum. I was around some nutty christians, and went nuts myself, but there is always a whole new level of crazy I've never encountered. Kids bump into stuff, fall, get cut, shit happens. How she jumps to "OMG DEMONS!!!!", I really can't fathom. Especially since she's your MOM and has raised at least one kid herself. Holy crap, my mom can be nuts, but she never attributed my childhood scrapes to demons. But, also jumping to "you don't love me!!" when you disagree on something, Kurari's right, that's not your fault. She's being a fucking child. Maybe that's why she believes in spooks that scratch children of atheists in the night. Wonder if she checks under her bed for monsters. (Sorry, that last bit was really insensitive, I'm sure you love your mom, but - really...wtf.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seeking26 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Share Posted February 1, 2010 I love this forum. I was around some nutty christians, and went nuts myself, but there is always a whole new level of crazy I've never encountered. Kids bump into stuff, fall, get cut, shit happens. How she jumps to "OMG DEMONS!!!!", I really can't fathom. Especially since she's your MOM and has raised at least one kid herself. Holy crap, my mom can be nuts, but she never attributed my childhood scrapes to demons. But, also jumping to "you don't love me!!" when you disagree on something, Kurari's right, that's not your fault. She's being a fucking child. Maybe that's why she believes in spooks that scratch children of atheists in the night. Wonder if she checks under her bed for monsters. (Sorry, that last bit was really insensitive, I'm sure you love your mom, but - really...wtf.) I'm really glad that this forum allows us to hide our identities, because I would never have even revealed this sort of information if we were naming names. It's not that I am ashamed of my Mom, I do understand where she gets this stuff from because I used to believe it too, but it would seem almost mean to be asking strangers these kinds of questions in real life. I kind of feel a little guilty...but I will try not to, I didn't start this thread to demean my family...I have no reason to feel bad...I'll just keep telling myself that lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRDWarrior Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 seeking, I'm actually really glad you posted this...I've been dealing with family drama from my parents, and my mother is like yours - that victim mentality with EVERYTHING (hell, she can turn anything around to being about her, it drives me insane). "'Emotional Blackmail" was very useful for me, but there are still times when I struggle to simply stand up to my parents (mom especially) and just nicely tell her to shove it. I've gotten better, but there's been another incident these last two days that has driven me up a wall - so now I'll be starting my next school semester already stressed because of the damn family drama that they manage to drag me into the middle of. I'm seriously considering writing a letter to both of my parents (they're divorced) and telling them that I'm not going to play mediator, counselor, or dumping ground anymore. Period. My husband also gets sick of seeing me getting stressed about THEIR crap, the multiple phone calls each day, etc. I finally just turned my phone off today, but I know the drama won't go away - my mother also won't manage to get over shit, so waiting a few days really just delays the inevitable. In fact, the only reason I'm putting it off at this point is so I can mentally prepare myself for dealing with her child like behavior so she doesn't sucker me into consoling her yet again. Much of the advice given I needed to hear as well - with my parents it's not religion at the moment (I already put the brakes on that one) but other family drama, usually me getting stuck in the middle while both of them get mad at me for not taking sides. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Valkyrie0010 Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I would say, prove it, but that would probably make the situation worse. I would say, don't you think the devil would do a lot worse then this. Religion in general to me, makes people immature. I would say then pray, and maybe she just won't accidentally hurt herself again. Sorry I'm not being tactful, but if I was in your shoes I would say enough BULLSHIT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qec Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 If I where you I would try "Hey mom, chillout, sometimes a cut's just a cut". I am not sure this kind of diplomatic approach would work, but it's worth a shot imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Well, at least she isn't making your child go through a deliverance exercise to heal the wound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tvaholic Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 We have the same mother! LOL!! I recently ran across some information about narcissistic mothers. It's a real personality disorder that there is basically no treatment for. If you want to look it up it'll give you some idea if this is what you are dealing with and also some ideas on how to deal with her. The way I deal with those comments that I don't want - I quit telling her things! I had to for my sanity. I've found religion makes narcissists even worse because their "all about me" is all in the name of god. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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