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Goodbye Jesus

Fundie Pet Peeves


dB-Paradox

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If this has already been talked about, sorry. I didn't look. But as I was emailing a fundie friend, it reminded me of something I used to to, and now hate so much! Capitalizing every Word that has to do with God, or His Power, or His Love, or anything to do with Him! I've even seen words such as Light capitalized if used in the same sentence as Jesus!!!! What's next...righteous Shit!

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This is my pet peeve about fundies: their use of the word "just." If you have them in your family you know what I mean ... "dear loooord, we just, come before you, and just, looord, we just ask you to just reign down the peace that comes only from your ... your word, and we're just blessed by your word, and we just ask you to..." (insert request for goodies here)

 

Why do they do that?

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This is my pet peeve about fundies: their use of the word "just." If you have them in your family you know what I mean ... "dear loooord, we just, come before you, and just, looord, we just ask you to just reign down the peace that comes only from your ... your word, and we're just blessed by your word, and we just ask you to..." (insert request for goodies here)

 

Why do they do that?

 

They're scurred that if they don't say "just", then they'll be asking for too much... or gawd forbid demanding.

 

Imagine you have an abusive father, and instead of saying "can I borrow $10" you say "can I just borrow a little money, just $10 will be great?"

 

It's especially annoying before a meal. Why don't they just shut the hell up and serve the food before it gets cold?

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Being told that god has a plan for my life is probably one of the most annoying ones I can think of. I have my own plans thank you very much, no divine input needed.

 

Freelily, I hadn't even notice the overuse of the word like until you pointed it out. After noticing it though it almost feels close to hearing a 13 year old girl and the word "like".

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Perhaps beyond the scope of a pet peeve, but when a fundie says stuff like this:

 

Also what difference does it make if the person on death row is innocent or guilty? Its not like there is an after life for them to go too!

 

and they're completely serious, it sends a chill down my spine.

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Substituting a very superficial KJV-like language usage in order to make themselves sound more pious, such as using, "unto," when the word, "to," would be appropriate.

 

"Lord, we pray unto you for..."

 

As if Elizabethan English is somehow godly. Even when I was a Christian, I thought they were morons.

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When christians post or talk about their proselytizing bullshit, including their opinion that the rest of us are going to hell, and then get all indignant and cry foul and persecution when we openly disagree with them and call them on their bullshit. :ugh::loser:

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Even as a Christian, I would snicker anytime they would over use a word in a prayer. One could count 30 lords in a 5 minute prayer.

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They're scurred that if they don't say "just", then they'll be asking for too much... or gawd forbid demanding.

 

Imagine you have an abusive father, and instead of saying "can I borrow $10" you say "can I just borrow a little money, just $10 will be great?"

 

It's especially annoying before a meal. Why don't they just shut the hell up and serve the food before it gets cold?

 

You're so right. In fact, the person who uttered a prayer much like this came from an abusive family, and later found Jesus. It's like trading one form of helplessness for another.

 

No wonder it drives me so crazy!

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Sometimes it would weird me out, in high school, how a lot of them would go around with their shirts tucked into mom jeans with Ralph Reed haircuts. You know, the ones that were especially white bread.

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Definitely the overuse of filler words in prayers is quite annoying. It gives them time to think of something to say that would be more "pleasing and in accord with the will of God". Capitalizing everything god related was a hard thing for me to break.

 

Another pet peeve is when people say "well, I'll be praying for you", then they walk away without actually offering any real help.

 

Down here in the south (this one makes my skin crawl) is the wonderful "bless your little heart". What does that even mean?!?!

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"Bless your little heart" is used the same way as "sweet heart" or "honey".

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  • Super Moderator

There are hundreds I'm sure. But for today ---

 

I hate all the stupid church signs on every corner. This is a new one I hadn't seen until this evening.

 

People aren't the problem.

 

They're our project.

 

NO I'M NOT! LEAVE ME ALONE!

 

During October (National Depression Awareness Month), the same church posts:

 

We're Too Blessed

 

To Be Depressed.

 

ugh.gif

 

I guess the proselytizing billboards littering all the roads also fall into this category and irritate the crap out of me too.

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I really hate the pompous and pious little shits that post 'God' as 'G-d' or 'G*d'. It is so stupid to think god doesn't know who is writing about h*m just because the skip a few letters in his n*me. I don't even respond to e-mails I get that have that kind of spelling.

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Is that supposed to be a respect thing? I've never seen that before. I mean, I've n*ver seen that b*fore!

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I've seen it a few times, but what just slays me is when they do the same thing with sex. S*x, s-x, s_x, etc. I just want to post, "Oh, you mean SEX! Shagging, fucking, screwing, rogering, rumpy-pumpy, bumping uglies, making the beast with two backs! Yeah, did that last night, what of it?" I think it'd be fun to keep a tally of how many of them go apoplectic. Then again, on the other tentacle, maybe I'm just an asshole.

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"Bless your little heart" is used the same way as "sweet heart" or "honey".

 

I've always taken "bless your heart" to be the traditional passive-aggressive Southern way of saying "sucks to be you."

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Definitely the overuse of filler words in prayers is quite annoying. It gives them time to think of something to say that would be more "pleasing and in accord with the will of God". Capitalizing everything god related was a hard thing for me to break.

 

Another pet peeve is when people say "well, I'll be praying for you", then they walk away without actually offering any real help.

 

Down here in the south (this one makes my skin crawl) is the wonderful "bless your little heart". What does that even mean?!?!

 

Don't forget all the extra vocal inflections added to the prayer(s) in addition to all the bombastic language mixed in with Elizabethan English.

 

"I'll be praying for you" = I'm not doing anything for you. I heard that a lot after the Haiti EQ -- "we're praying for them". So basically, you're doing *nothing* for them. I donated money and clothes instead of praying.

 

I think "bless your little heart" is a translation of "sucks to be you".

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Definitely the overuse of filler words in prayers is quite annoying. It gives them time to think of something to say that would be more "pleasing and in accord with the will of God". Capitalizing everything god related was a hard thing for me to break.

 

Another pet peeve is when people say "well, I'll be praying for you", then they walk away without actually offering any real help.

 

Down here in the south (this one makes my skin crawl) is the wonderful "bless your little heart". What does that even mean?!?!

 

Agreed, I live in the south too and also was irritated with the way a lot of Christians (particularily Pentecostals) would "prayer speak". It's like they become a different person, close their eyes, lower their head, contort their face and say something like "father god, we just come before you ... and father god just pray a blessing on your people, that father god you just pour out the holy ghost" ... UGHH! I'm annoyed just thinking about it, but to me that was my biggest pet peeve during the time I was unfortunately in church to hear such crap.

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I've grown to hate "I'll pray for you". This implies that I'm broken and need to be fixed, and only God can do it. Well, I'm not broken and if I do need to be fixed, I'll handle it. How about having God to help out some starving or sick kids and leave my ass out of it?

 

The prayers that Will Ferrell does as Ricky Bobby just crack my ass up every time!

 

Dear infant Jesus....

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As far as the G-d thing, last I checked that was more Jewish in origin. For some reason there are fundies who like to do this to show how pious they are, as well as "back to the original" material.

 

My two pet peeves: "You were never a real Christian" -- I'd go more into it, but I think we have a few hundred threads on that already, and "What could have possibly have hurt you so much to make you want to leave?" as though my decision to ditch xtianity is solely emotional. Really burns me up.

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I chuckle cause I had the same problem as Loren - people using "thees" and "thous" and "art" and "unto" - KJV speech in prayers. Maybe its a Church of Christ thing? Bugged the crap out of me forever cause I wouldn't do it and it felt like I wasn't praying right if I spoke normally.

 

Also more recently its G-d or Yeshua or YHWY that is really annoying. And people calling Sunday the Sabbath. The whole fake Jewish Christian thing is just bafflingly annoying.

 

In my family, "bless your little heart" is always coupled with an insult, but pulled off like its cute. "Bless your little heart have you put on weight?"

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"Bless your little heart" is used the same way as "sweet heart" or "honey".

 

I've always taken "bless your heart" to be the traditional passive-aggressive Southern way of saying "sucks to be you."

LOL!

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Another are fundies that send e-mail when you argue with their point and they have no other response but are compelled to send e-mail to get in the last word for their god. They send something like 'I'm sorry if I or another Christian have offended you in some way that turned your heart away from the truth of Christ.' I usually respond with 'groveling is not becoming of any human being.' That usually gets them fired up to send me e-mail about what really pissed them off with me in the first place. Hey, put up or shut up. That is my philosophy.

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Praise the Lord! (always was a favorite of my father and his wife)

 

Glory! (sorry, Jeff)

 

Travel Mercies (WTF?)

 

What a blessing!

 

God has a plan.

 

Is your heart right with God?

 

I'm growing in the Lord.

 

Bite my ass. (Okay, that one's mine.)

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