Why I Left Church Behind

[Galien]

It has taken me a long time to realise why it is I actually left the church. All this time it wasn’t Christianity I had the problem with, it was human nature, and I had always made the mistake of thinking that the whole point of being a Christian was to fight one’s human nature and let God turn you into something else completely. But it seems I was wrong about that, and about so many things.

 

 

Sure I hate the shallowness and the bullshit that church has become. Used car salesmen who have found an easier way to exploit people, lifestyle Christianity where the dollar rules, people who are the most judgemental and hateful on the face of the earth, at times spreading hate and fear better than anyone who is supposed to be representing the opposition.

 

 

When I was nine I had some kind of conversion experience I cannot explain. I’d had no religious upbringing. But that night I fell in love with Jesus, who I read him to be, and example that had been sadly lacking in my life. I felt responsible for his death, that my sin alone had caused it and I spent the rest of my life trying to make it up to him. Long story short, I manoeuvered myself into neurosis and depression that has plagued me, and almost cost me my life more than once. I got to a point where I had to make a choice – did I want to continue this sick lifestyle and have god pat me on the head at the end (which was looming ever closer by my own hand), or did I want the next 40 odd years to actually be worth living?

 

 

I realise now that I am a strange person, the things I thought Jesus said and taught seemed to have been missed by the other Christians around me. I remember once having coffee with a table full of Christians and one of them saying, you don’t have to love everyone, and only me and my strange friend piping up and saying “yes you do” in stereo out of a table of about 20.

 

 

See, for me the Jesus I perceived turned everything on its head. Everything. Everything that humans hold dear - status, power, ego, possessions, pride. The idea was to treat those concepts with the contempt they deserve and be completely the opposite. A kind person who loves everyone, who is always honest, kind , humble puts others first, puts love above everything, doesn’t have that same sick old pecking order in their head, treats everyone as though they are of equal value, doesn’t need revenge, or the feeling of superiority over others etc. You get the idea. I thought all the Christians around me thought and believed those things like I did.

 

 

Clearly being that delusional, I got fucked over royally by Christians and non Christians alike. It has taken me 40 years as a Christian to work out they are not Christian principles at all, they are my principles, the ones I perceived that Jesus stood for. Now I finally understand why I fought so hard with Christians all this time.

 

 

Now I don’t know what I believe, or care that much really. I know who I am, but I am not entirely sure why anymore, and I don’t know that it matters.

[Shyone]

 

Clearly being that delusional, I got fucked over royally by Christians and non Christians alike. It has taken me 40 years as a Christian to work out they are not Christian principles at all, they are my principles, the ones I perceived that Jesus stood for. Now I finally understand why I fought so hard with Christians all this time.

 

 

Now I don’t know what I believe, or care that much really. I know who I am, but I am not entirely sure why anymore, and I don’t know that it matters.

I think it is important for us to understand our values and know that we "own" them. We should take responsibility for our actions, and we should hold on to our principles.

 

The contradictory nature of the bible allows for several interpretations, but there are some principles that do seem worthwhile - at least in moderation.

 

It is a nice sentiment to think of giving everything we own to the poor, but if everyone did that the world would suffer from a lack of ambition which drives economy and prosperity. In the end, moderation of both generosity and ambition are more beneficial than the extremes of either.

 

The general principles of respecting other people (but withholding respect where warranted), and doing to others as we would have them do unto us (or even better doing unto them as they would like to have done unto them) make civilization possible.

[Galien]

Yes Shyone I understand why we need "ambition". Just not capitalism per se - the predatory phase of humanity. Must be that human nature stuff I am still learning about. Some days I think someone else must have gotten my dose of human nature.

[Franko47]

Hey, Galien. A lot you said here echoes what I experienced while being "in" the Christian community.

 

 

 

I realise now that I am a strange person, the things I thought Jesus said and taught seemed to have been missed by the other Christians around me. I remember once having coffee with a table full of Christians and one of them saying, you don’t have to love everyone, and only me and my strange friend piping up and saying “yes you do” in stereo out of a table of about 20.

 

 

It will be a hilarious day at the pearly gates when they find out that I and many others loved our fellow man without prejudice. That is, not because of reward or punishment, but because that is who we are. So what does that make us?

 

Whether Christian, agnostic or atheist, it's ridiculous at this point for Christians (especially Bible Christians) to claim some kind of monopoly on compassion, goodness, and ethics. All they can claim is that they are worshiping a celestial being who will give them rewards for the act of worship, not for being good people.

 

In fact, many Christians nowadays react with contempt at the very idea that God would respect a human who has led an ethical and compassionate life. Nope. Worship has become more important than conduct.

 

That is the hallmark of a barbarian religion or a cult.

[JohnK]

 

See, for me the Jesus I perceived turned everything on its head. Everything. Everything that humans hold dear - status, power, ego, possessions, pride. The idea was to treat those concepts with the contempt they deserve and be completely the opposite. A kind person who loves everyone, who is always honest, kind , humble puts others first, puts love above everything, doesn’t have that same sick old pecking order in their head, treats everyone as though they are of equal value, doesn’t need revenge, or the feeling of superiority over others etc. You get the idea. I thought all the Christians around me thought and believed those things like I did.

 

 

 

I can definitely identify with your quote here. One of the things that drew me to the Jesus of the bible was his apparent respect for persons regardless of social status, intelligence, education, etc. I also liked teachings such as "Do not judge, or you too will be judged". To me, they were a refreshing change from how the world and its people behave toward each other.

 

However, like you I eventually discovered that Christians were hardly anything like the supposed model of humanity that Jesus symbolized. Many of the Christians at my old church were the most arrogant, self-righteous and judgmental people I had ever encountered. I learned that once you start believing that you have "the truth", you inevitably classify all others that do not accept your doctrine as an inferior class of people in need of "saving".

 

As non-Christians, however, we can still be loving, compassionate, humble, and caring towards one another. And even better, if we do it is for its own sake, not because some god is bringing the old carrot and stick routine (reward of heaven and punishment of hell). I like to classify myself as a humanist, and I try my best to love and respect my fellow human beings because all we have is each other, and also because I think life is too short to be mean and hurtful towards one another. And it doesn't matter whether some guy named Jesus even existed or not; I can pick and choose the qualities and teachings in the gospels that I find admirable without also having to accept any of the other absurdities of Christian doctrine.

 

Thanks for sharing, and good luck to you.

[southjerseygirl36]

Yes, I was and am just like you. I thought the things about loving everyone were what Christians were about, and humility was real. Christianity is often about judging and superiority. It is not what Jesus taught? So do I want to call myself a christian or not? I don't know.

[southjerseygirl36]

Hey, Galien. A lot you said here echoes what I experienced while being "in" the Christian community.

 

 

 

I realise now that I am a strange person, the things I thought Jesus said and taught seemed to have been missed by the other Christians around me. I remember once having coffee with a table full of Christians and one of them saying, you don’t have to love everyone, and only me and my strange friend piping up and saying “yes you do” in stereo out of a table of about 20.

 

 

It will be a hilarious day at the pearly gates when they find out that I and many others loved our fellow man without prejudice. That is, not because of reward or punishment, but because that is who we are. So what does that make us?

 

Whether Christian, agnostic or atheist, it's ridiculous at this point for Christians (especially Bible Christians) to claim some kind of monopoly on compassion, goodness, and ethics. All they can claim is that they are worshiping a celestial being who will give them rewards for the act of worship, not for being good people.

 

In fact, many Christians nowadays react with contempt at the very idea that God would respect a human who has led an ethical and compassionate life. Nope. Worship has become more important than conduct.That is the hallmark of a barbarian religion or a cult.

 

I remember thinking there was something wrong with me for thinking that we should respect all others choices even if we don't agree with them. I was taught in church, all of them, several, all very different from each other, they all believed that if you weren't a christian you're going to hell. And all the goodness you do and kindness is all selfish and satanic. How the heck I am supposed to go back to any protestant church?

[MultifariousBirdLady]

Now I don’t know what I believe, or care that much really. I know who I am, but I am not entirely sure why anymore, and I don’t know that it matters.

 

It might not. You don't need an external "divine" reason to affirm the values you stated above... kindness, humility, love, equality, forgiveness... There's no reason to look to a religion to prop up these qualities. They stand on their own.

[Shyone]

Yes, I was and am just like you. I thought the things about loving everyone were what Christians were about, and humility was real. Christianity is often about judging and superiority. It is not what Jesus taught? So do I want to call myself a christian or not? I don't know.

A lot of Christians say they are Christians because:

 

1. Christ was good, and Christians follow his advice

2. I want to be good.

3. Therefore, I must be a Christian.

 

As someone else said, goodness, kindness, generosity and empathy stand on their own, and we take those good things into ourselves. It is not an external being that makes us good, but ourselves by how we wish to be.

[qec]

 

I realise now that I am a strange person, the things I thought Jesus said and taught seemed to have been missed by the other Christians around me. I remember once having coffee with a table full of Christians and one of them saying, you don’t have to love everyone, and only me and my strange friend piping up and saying “yes you do” in stereo out of a table of about 20.

 

 

I had similar experiences where I just couldn't bring myself to judge others the way I was told to, so eventually I developed my own value system even within... Well anyway, eventually I developed my own value system which had many things in common with those of my milieu but was not nearly as judgmental and condemning as many of them in certain ways. It's too painful to elaborate, but suffice to say I can relate I suspect quite a bit.

[southjerseygirl36]

Yes, I was and am just like you. I thought the things about loving everyone were what Christians were about, and humility was real. Christianity is often about judging and superiority. It is not what Jesus taught? So do I want to call myself a christian or not? I don't know.

A lot of Christians say they are Christians because:

 

1. Christ was good, and Christians follow his advice

2. I want to be good.

3. Therefore, I must be a Christian.

 

As someone else said, goodness, kindness, generosity and empathy stand on their own, and we take those good things into ourselves. It is not an external being that makes us good, but ourselves by how we wish to be.

 

I agree. The "instant salvation" is a really horrible doctrine that is not in the Bible. So now bingo they are perfect for one. What about working out your salvation in fear and trembling. They also believe in "imputed righteousness" where they recieve the righteousness of Jesus, but now they judge you to hell for not doing so? How insane is that? Jesus was a good man and a good teacher. But its up to us to live that way. We dont become that way by saying "I am a Christian". Christ's death for my sins and everyone else goes to hell.

 

Why have they turned Christ into this bad person? and they themselves also that way

[Non-Redneck]

 

Clearly being that delusional, I got fucked over royally by Christians and non Christians alike.

 

 

You and me both. Fortunately, I've gotten better at spotting when people are trying to screw me over since I left.