I Prayed Yesterday

[Evolution_beyond]

Here's something I just posted on my Livejournal account. I thought it seemed relevant to this community.

 

I really should get that red A removed now. I can no longer really claim to be an atheist. Anyway, here's the post:

 

Yesterday I prayed, for the first time in years.

 

For a long time now I have considered prayer to be pretty pointless. Even when I believed in a real, supernatural entity that I might be communicating with, I didn't see how it could change anything to pray to him/her/it because God would do what's best, whether it chimes in with what you want or not. I guess I could see the point in offloading all your troubles and trying to get your mind to chime in with God's mind, but I saw meditation as more important for that.

 

More recently of course, I haven't seen any point in praying because, well, there's no one there to listen.

 

But yesterday I had a bit of an epiphany. After walking around in town and feeling sorry for myself, and thinking things like 'maybe I should go back to church' followed by 'there's no need to panic' - I decided that maybe I should pray.

 

My thinking went like this: There's no conscious being, no supernatural entity called God, sure, but there is an energy to life, a kind of inter-connectedness that you can plug into. Plugging into the energy called life is the difference between being closed and being open. Being open to life, and all the people and things that you share it with, is obviously going to be advantageous and positive for your life's experience. Opening up to an inter-connectedness is a kind of relationship with life and all other entities, and the only way that a human being can experience relationship is by communicating, and words are our most familiar way of communicating.

 

Basically, I figured out that I should let the mind do the analysing - but let the heart get on with doing soul-work. I can worry about what it means later. If I can find a rational basis to justify praying, then I might find that it works for me - because once upon a time I had a relationship with something, and I found that relationship enriching and life-affirming - and so that was a real thing that I experienced. Whatever that thing I experienced was or was not, the experience itself was real - and I was only depriving myself of a good thing by blocking myself from that experience.

 

And I realised after I had prayed, that this was really a form of therapy - that it was how I get my heart/soul to feel healthy again. Meditation feels to abstract to be of any use. Praying is almost second nature, and it's simply a way of opening up to the Universe, offloading all your troubles and making peace with yourself - so as to feel whole again. I realised that this is very important, this process of putting yourself back together again, and it is the foundation on which everything else needs to be built. From finding my soul again, I can now build on top of this and hopefully put my life back together again.

 

And I'm not going to follow any religion. This has always been between me and God/The Universe, even far back in the dim and distant past when I used to commune with God/The Universe by sitting in a field and contemplating things (even yesterday, I chose a park to pray in - nature is an important way for me to 'plug-in' it seems). And it has to be a form of spirituality that takes as read that I am queer and kinky and all of those things, and that those things are ok, because they're who I am. And I'm not going to put pressure on myself to be perfect anymore (none of that, trying to reach a calm Buddha-like state at all times) - one very valuable lesson I learnt from atheism is that I am human, and I am flawed, and that is ok. It's ok if I'm an asshole sometimes - because everyone is at times (as long as it's not excessive assholeness anyway).

 

But anyway, that's the new spiritual experience I had yesterday. I'm not saying it's the right path for everyone. I'm simply saying that it seems to be what works for me right now.

[Shyone]

More recently of course, I haven't seen any point in praying because, well, there's no one there to listen.

 

But yesterday I had a bit of an epiphany. After walking around in town and feeling sorry for myself, and thinking things like 'maybe I should go back to church' followed by 'there's no need to panic' - I decided that maybe I should pray.

Your experience sounds spiritual rather than theistic, but I suppose that's a matter of interpretation. I'm not aboaut to tell you what you were thinking or experienced because I'm not in your head.

 

I've always thought of meditation as a means to sort out things in our lives, and the experience is sometimes dramatic. Perhaps it's even more cathartic than talking to people. I think that when you do a self-assessment of your actual beliefs and separate the objective from the subjective you may find that nothing has really changed.

[Legion]

Praying is almost second nature, and it's simply a way of opening up to the Universe, offloading all your troubles and making peace with yourself - so as to feel whole again.

I don't see that prayer is a big deal. I still sometimes catch myself praying, even after all these years. But I don't beat myself up over it.

 

I think prayer is one part or aspect of myself talking to another aspect of myself. It's me talking to myself. And I happen to think that our conversations with ourselves can be very important.

[florduh]

When times get tough there's a tendency for us to want to fall back on our old crutches, be it alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine or religion. I think talking to yourself through "prayer" could be comforting, even helpful. Just don't expect anyone else to answer.

[Googledotman]

To the OP:

 

All of the things you said make perfect sense. You don't have to be a theist to believe in prayer. Prayer to me is a way to enable yourself to receive the things you most desire in life, whether it is a deity or not who is helping you. I remember one guy prayed for a house and he got offered a new house when his neighbor died. Perhaps the prayer somehow made him subconiously do things that would help him earn a house one day. Or maybe you might just be an agnostic. Who knows?

[Midnight-mindwanderings]

It was experiences like this that got me into paganism/ pantheism. We can cut hairs on the 'religious' aspects of it, but it isn't organized or dictated by anyone but me. Everyone has different levels of need to 'plug in' and different ways of doing it. I like how you describe it as being open vs being closed. Its all a part of the personal search for truth.

 

Sounds like you are approaching pantheism, or perhaps deism. Or maybe the aspect of "God" isn't important to you at all. Whatever the case, Its nice to hear that you are reaching for a feeling of completeness.

 

Heh, in the movie Avatar, they could literally plug in. Watching that made me really wish we could too but perhaps our methods aren't so bad.

[MultifariousBirdLady]

Evolution Beyond... There is a lot in your post I can really agree with. Especially some of this:

 

Plugging into the energy called life is the difference between being closed and being open. Being open to life, and all the people and things that you share it with, is obviously going to be advantageous and positive for your life's experience. Opening up to an inter-connectedness is a kind of relationship with life and all other entities, and the only way that a human being can experience relationship is by communicating, and words are our most familiar way of communicating.

 

...Whatever that thing I experienced was or was not, the experience itself was real - and I was only depriving myself of a good thing by blocking myself from that experience.

 

I recently finished a book about process-relational philosophy which contained a bit about the more spiritual side of it, process-relational theology. Judging from what you wrote here, you might find it interesting, too.

 

To let you know a bit about where I'm coming from, I pray also, and I do at times get the impression in various ways that it is a relationship.

[Franko47]

The process of prayer can sometimes define for us what perhaps are some of the obstacles we'd like to overcome or have alleviated; the act itself is reflective of the need to bring attention to certain issues.

 

I no longer pray in the conventional way because by now "God" should have quite a stack over the years of my telepathic Emails, none of which were answered. Or even acknowledged as "received".

 

Since God is all knowing and everything (apparently) then he knows what I'm looking for. My psychic cell phone is on, the bandwidth is wide, and I'd even settle for some faint static. But, it seems the mothership just ain't in orbit...

[BlueGiant]

Pretty close to my thoughts on what prayer is. Magic (or magick if you prefer)/prayer/meditation all attempt to tap into this sort of thing. One can look at it as beseeching the universe, or forcing it, to bend to what you will. I tend to think of it as mentally bending myself into a better mindset, changing my position, in a way, with the rest of the universe. If you think about it it comes out the same, just it's a lot easier to change yourself...

 

Hey, if the experience works for you, then go for it. It may be UPG (Unsubstantiated Personal Gnosis), but if it works, it probably shouldn't be discounted.

[Shyone]

Pretty close to my thoughts on what prayer is. Magic (or magick if you prefer)/prayer/meditation all attempt to tap into this sort of thing. One can look at it as beseeching the universe, or forcing it, to bend to what you will. I tend to think of it as mentally bending myself into a better mindset, changing my position, in a way, with the rest of the universe. If you think about it it comes out the same, just it's a lot easier to change yourself...

 

Hey, if the experience works for you, then go for it. It may be UPG (Unsubstantiated Personal Gnosis), but if it works, it probably shouldn't be discounted.

The bolded part is really good! I am reminded of some eastern philosophies that basically teach this (e.g. Taoism).

[StevoMuso]

The bolded part is really good! I am reminded of some eastern philosophies that basically teach this (e.g. Taoism).

 

Then perhaps "prayer" is the incorrect word and "meditation" more appropriate. In my mind the word "prayer" assumes, or implies, communication with a higher "Being" like God or Allah (or whichever Deity floats your ark). If my understanding is correct, Taoism is more of a philosophy than a religion. Members of this forum are mostly ex-Christians, which is logical, but not all of us end up atheists, which is understandable.

[Shyone]

The bolded part is really good! I am reminded of some eastern philosophies that basically teach this (e.g. Taoism).

 

Then perhaps "prayer" is the incorrect word and "meditation" more appropriate. In my mind the word "prayer" assumes, or implies, communication with a higher "Being" like God or Allah (or whichever Deity floats your ark). If my understanding is correct, Taoism is more of a philosophy than a religion. Members of this forum are mostly ex-Christians, which is logical, but not all of us end up atheists, which is understandable.

Intercessory prayer certainly is religious, but Buddhists refer to their meditation as prayer (I think).

 

The "bending oneself to a better mindset" to me meant conforming one's self to the Tao rather than trying to make the Tao bend to the person. Accepting what is, rather than striving for what cannot be.

[StevoMuso]

I dated a pagan girl some time ago and had a good look at the Wiccan (Sp?) religion (actually she was quite hot and I had a good look at her too hehe). Anyway, the druids in that religion believe in aligning themselves to nature, rather than trying to get nature to conform to their own will. This may be similar. The book I read on Taoism explained the Tao as a kind of "cosmic energy" or "chi" rather than a living personal Deity. I may be wrong though. But in answer to the original reason for this thread, these experiences whether prayer, meditation or whatever we call them, all have a significant impact in our minds. This "spiritual experience" is well researched and comes from one of the functions in the temporal cortex in the right hemisphere of our brains (or something like that - it's in the brain somewhere). All normal humans have this function and unfortunately it is far from "spiritual" even though it feels like it.

[Shyone]

I dated a pagan girl some time ago and had a good look at the Wiccan (Sp?) religion (actually she was quite hot and I had a good look at her too hehe). Anyway, the druids in that religion believe in aligning themselves to nature, rather than trying to get nature to conform to their own will. This may be similar. The book I read on Taoism explained the Tao as a kind of "cosmic energy" or "chi" rather than a living personal Deity. I may be wrong though. But in answer to the original reason for this thread, these experiences whether prayer, meditation or whatever we call them, all have a significant impact in our minds. This "spiritual experience" is well researched and comes from one of the functions in the temporal cortex in the right hemisphere of our brains (or something like that - it's in the brain somewhere). All normal humans have this function and unfortunately it is far from "spiritual" even though it feels like it.

I think my right hemisphere is atrophied.

[StevoMuso]

I think my right hemisphere is atrophied.

 

Hehe - I know what you mean. Maybe we should try the trick the American Indians used to have religious or spiritual experiences and smoke something, Duuude

[Shyone]

I think my right hemisphere is atrophied.

 

Hehe - I know what you mean. Maybe we should try the trick the American Indians used to have religious or spiritual experiences and smoke something, Duuude

Far out! I'm hip.

[Rev. Dr. Sparki Hooker]

Last time I prayed I had a hangover. God answered my prayer a few hours later when it went away.

[dB-Paradox]

I think talking to yourself is theraputic. Call it prayer to make it sound not so crazy. But it does seem to help you work through things. I don't believe there is any shame in 'praying'. Just don't do it out loud on a city bus, okay!

[MultifariousBirdLady]

Intercessory prayer certainly is religious, but Buddhists refer to their meditation as prayer (I think).

 

Tibetan Buddhists do (I took a short class which went over some of them at a Tibetan Buddhist monastery). From what I understand, though, I'm pretty sure they believe a spiritual being is receiving them. Not exactly the kind of God-figure we here are familiar with, though.

 

The "bending oneself to a better mindset" to me meant conforming one's self to the Tao rather than trying to make the Tao bend to the person. Accepting what is, rather than striving for what cannot be.

 

There is a third option in addition to the bolded two, which is what I am doing when I engage in the kind of practice described here... that is, I'm changing myself to better engage "what is" in a way that will help me to achieve my goal.

 

It is not a passive "accepting of what is" but it is not a striving for "what cannot be," either.

[MultifariousBirdLady]

All normal humans have this function and unfortunately it is far from "spiritual" even though it feels like it.

 

Who gets to define what "spiritual" is or isn't?

I see no conflict between acknowledging this kind of brain activity and calling it spiritual.

[StevoMuso]

Who gets to define what "spiritual" is or isn't?

I see no conflict between acknowledging this kind of brain activity and calling it spiritual.

Yes - good point. Seeing a stunning sunset, or sharing a close moment with a loved-one, getting lost in a piece of music, day-dreaming about walking on a hot beach, praying and getting The Feeling - these could all be called "spiritual".

 

Perhaps then the word we should use is "supernatural" on this thread. i.e. A spiritual experience does not automatically qualify as supernatural.

[Phanta]

I love praying to be guided to the next best step. What a release! So relaxing. So connected. To what? Tao...God...my own inner wisdom. Dunno. I don't think it matters; it works!

 

As a child I was trained in a nightly Our Father and some requests for God, usually to "take care of people I love up in Heaven." I prayed somewhat in church, mostly prewritten prayers and request prayers. I stopped that years ago.

 

This new thing I do is very different, beautifully self-transforming. It's different from my meditations.

 

It's cool that you found prayer that works for you, too!

 

Phanta

[lilyblue]

 

My thinking went like this: There's no conscious being, no supernatural entity called God, sure, but there is an energy to life, a kind of inter-connectedness that you can plug into. Plugging into the energy called life is the difference between being closed and being open. Being open to life, and all the people and things that you share it with, is obviously going to be advantageous and positive for your life's experience. Opening up to an inter-connectedness is a kind of relationship with life and all other entities, and the only way that a human being can experience relationship is by communicating, and words are our most familiar way of communicating.

 

 

Yours was the first post I actually read on this site and it's like you have been hanging out in my head. The quoted portion actually made me smile. It's a beautiful expression of my view of spirituality.

[OnceConvinced]

I went through a trial just recently and actually did something I hadn't done in a long time and that was pray. I pretty much said, "God, if you really are real, please bla bla bla..." It's a desperation thing some times. When there is nothing you can possibly do to change a situation, what other thing can you try? Of course God never answered and he did nothing like he normally does. If he had responded, I'd probably be a Christian again. But he didn't. So it just endorsed the reality that there is no God and praying is a worthless activity.

[Guest ephymeris]

My thinking went like this: There's no conscious being, no supernatural entity called God, sure, but there is an energy to life, a kind of inter-connectedness that you can plug into. Plugging into the energy called life is the difference between being closed and being open. Being open to life, and all the people and things that you share it with, is obviously going to be advantageous and positive for your life's experience. Opening up to an inter-connectedness is a kind of relationship with life and all other entities, and the only way that a human being can experience relationship is by communicating, and words are our most familiar way of communicating

 

While I was transitioning from agnostic to atheist, I held this belief but after long years of only wishing for feelings of this interconnectedness with no results I realized I was an atheist who only wished there was something more. I wish I felt this spirituality.