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Did Your View And Treatment Of Other People Change After Leaving Christianity?


OrdinaryClay

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Did your view and treatment of other people change after leaving Christianity? Do you notice any material change in how you acted toward or treated them after leaving?

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Yes. I became more compassionate, empathetic, and altruistic. I realized the only help people receive comes from other people, because there was no gawd to help them.

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I didn't experience any noticeable shift in my behavior towards others after becoming an heathen. I still think the Golden Rule is fairly sound policy. I've always had a general affinity for most people and my behavior flows from that.

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Did your view and treatment of other people change after leaving Christianity? Do you notice any material change in how you acted toward or treated them after leaving?

Not really. But I treat people differently online than I do in real life.

 

The only big revelation I had from the de-conversion was that I realized people are extremely gullible.

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Did your view and treatment of other people change after leaving Christianity? Do you notice any material change in how you acted toward or treated them after leaving?

Definitely. When I was a christian I assumed everyone else was somehow morally corrupt. Now I know to treat people as people and judge them by their actions in the context in which they were peformed.

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Yes, for a few reasons.

 

Part of my deconversion was my education in sociology and eventual employment as a social worker. Through my education and work I became increasingly conscious of the human face of suffering, which natually lead me to become more mindful of how I treat my fellow humans.

 

At the same time, me education in science - particularly genetics and evolutionary theory - drilled home for me the truth that each of us, each living thing, is precisely unique. We are all a unique combination of a unique genome and a unique set of life experiences. In the duration of the universe, never again will there be another being with precisely the same genetic code and life experiences as, say, Carl Sagan. Or you. Or me. Because of our individual rarity, each of us is more precious than any snowflake or diamond.

 

In addition, my abandonment of religion and acceptance of atheism also contributed. As I don't believe in any sort of soul or afterlife, each of us is tragically brief - not even lasting the blink of an eye in the time scale of the universe. That something as unique and transient should spend what little time available for its existence in suffering is horrific. But I have come to simply accept it as an unfortunate consequence of the universe. No intelligent, guiding force shaped the universe to create this abominable situation; instead it simply came about as a result of chance interacting with natural laws. If suffering is to be minimized, it is myself and my fellows who will have to be responsible for doing so.

 

I suppose this is the double-edged sword of nihilism. On one hand, I must accept that life is ultimately, objectively absurd and meaningless. However, this frees me to find glory and meaning of my own in the subjective. I am unique in all the universe, but so are my fellows. I feel elated to find myself among a species capable of reflecting upon our circumstances and demonstrating our appreciation for one another.

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Nope. I was just the same old me. Christianity hadn't done anything to help me, anyway. In fact, the fundamentalism exposure added to my already debilitating need to be perfect.

 

I was a teenager when I departed the Christian scene so obviously I change over the years. Gained more self-control and compassion. Learned new copes. Found healthy support and love and acceptance and encouragement toward positive growth that made sense, and whose returns I could see evidence of. Experienced from good people forgiveness and love and acceptance despite being flawed.

 

In high school, I was drawn to an atheist who became my best friend, and remains so. She taught me sound lessons arising from her own life experiences in compassion for those who do harm or are less strong (the opposite of cold-blooded competition surrounding us in our competitive environment), integrity, generosity of time and money, social responsibility and kind speech. She impressed upon me that sarcasm, even in fun, always has something underhanded, cutting or hurtful about it. It is always ugly.

 

There were others, all independent, generous, high in integrity and accepting of others. None of them "believed in" Jesus. They were all people who look at a lifestyle or behavior and say "not for me" without turning their noses up, threatening, or "saving" the other to affirm their own path or comfort their own anxieties. But all are fiercely defensive of their own freedom and capacity to live, love and learn when told by those who cannot say, "not for me" and live and let live how best to live through legislation, abuse, and manipulation: those grounded in "what is good for some is good for all". It's a very different from my belief, and the belief of those I commune deeply with in this life, which is, "what is good for some is good for some, but not others": leadership by example, not blackmail, manipulation or force. Acceptance of variety and nuance.

 

There are many who are so, strong in themselves. I'm grateful to call them friends.

 

Phanta

 

p.s. - I voted "no" because I think the question means "Did Your View And Treatment Of Other People Change BECAUS OF Leaving Christianity?" If you really meant "after", let me know and I will change my vote to "Yes", because clearly it did, but as part of the natural maturity process, not religion.

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Absolutely. I stopped view people as us (saved) vs them (everyone else).

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She impressed upon me that sarcasm, even in fun, always has something underhanded, cutting or hurtful about it. It is always ugly.

I disagree with this Phanta. I have little to no tolerance for spite or spiteful people. But I do think that contempt can be appropriate, and I often show my contempt with sarcasm.

 

Acceptance of variety and nuance.

Was I nuanced there?

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I treat people better now because I don't think I'm better than they are, and I don't do things with ulterior motives.

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After discarding all the 'do nots' of fundamentalism, I became human. I put my effort towards real people.

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Oh yes. I stopped people treating as objects to convert and actually started treating people like friends and with some compassion. I stopped trying to find out what "sins" people were doing so I could try to get them to repent. I stopped looking for an opening to convert everybody I was with and learned to enjoy the time spent with people.

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Legion:

 

She impressed upon me that sarcasm, even in fun, always has something underhanded, cutting or hurtful about it. It is always ugly.

 

For me.

 

I have yet to experience it otherwise.

 

(Contempt makes me feel ugly inside, too.)

 

Phanta

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The change was slight but I did change, more in my attitude which then affected how I treated others. Dismantling the guilt cycle made me happier and more relaxed. I became more extroverted (though I was extroverted as a child the doctrines of shame and submission had made me quite a bit more introverted). In a lot of ways my shifting attitudes towards other sparked my deconversion so for me the two positively worked on each other. I simply did not see evil in those around me, just humanity.

 

The biggest change was my treatment of myself. I was worthy, I was lovable, I wasn't damned, I wasn't a sinful creature. I learned to love myself which made it easier to love others.

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I became a better person. Less bigoted and hateful and also a no more "holier than thou" attitude.

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Well, it occurred to me after de-converting that many of my Christian friends still had problems, inner worries, and even spiritual turmoil, regardless of how often they prayed, went to Church, or applied "willpower".

 

 

Leaving though, didn't alter my compassion or diminish anyone in my point of view. And I'm glad that I can consider life now with an understanding of the curious Christian perspective; in a way you understand it sometimes more thoroughly after you're out than when you were in. Strange, I know. But understanding WHY I believed, or wanted to believe in all that was invaluable to my own development.

 

For a while it was strange though, giving up the imaginary Friend. Realizing this is the only life we have, and it's precious. And that all those warm glowy feelings that there was someone out there who cared about me, was merely my own imagination. It was me "imagining" what it would feel like if there was such a thing.

 

Which is really what all religious people are doing.

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Your poll needs more options.

 

Some of my attitudes towards other people changed, yes. It amounted to a shuffling of values rather than an overall net change, if such things can be quantified.

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I would say I changed in several ways.

 

I honestly had trouble to relating to most people because I thought they were all going to hell and couldn't really bring myself to be friends with them. I tended to treat any non-Christians I hung out with as projects. I think they could tell eventually and it soured friendships.

 

I was a bit of an asshole to people too, usually well meaning, but an asshole non the less. For instance, I remember saying some particularly nasty things to people who were gay, which I deeply regret.

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Yes, I started to see others as fellow human beings all just struggling to survive on this hostile planet.

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Suppose, a person answered "no", does this mean their current treatment of people was reflective of when they were a Christian. Is so what does that say about their Christian experience. Now suppose a person answered "yes", then we have two possibilities. Their current treatment of people is worse then before or their current treatment of people is better then before. Let's suppose it is the former. Then this implies a goodness stemming from Christianity. Now let's suppose it is the latter. Then this says something about their Christian experience.

 

Mat 7:20

(20) Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

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Suppose, a person answered "no", does this mean their current treatment of people was reflective of when they were a Christian. Is so what does that say about their Christian experience. Now suppose a person answered "yes", then we have two possibilities. Their current treatment of people is worse then before or their current treatment of people is better then before. Let's suppose it is the former. Then this implies a goodness stemming from Christianity. Now let's suppose it is the latter. Then this says something about their Christian experience.

 

Mat 7:20

(20) Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

 

You missed a third option. It says something about xianity.

 

My experience and observation is that xianity does not make people better human beings and oftentimes, almost as a rule, makes them worse. By its fruits shall you know it.

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Did your view and treatment of other people change after leaving Christianity? Do you notice any material change in how you acted toward or treated them after leaving?

 

No, my view never really changed. I've always been a pacifist and I've always loved other animals as though they were my family. Then again, I've always ranted against the crucifixion too, even as a child, because such treatment of another human being or any other animal was so cruel. In my believing days, before I discovered in a high school literature of the Bible class that it was literature, I truly believed that other humans had done all those things to a man named Jesus and I found it painfully cruel and abusive. It was insulting to me that humans could behave in such a barbaric way to others, yet I knew it was true that people did such cruel, mean, abusive, and hateful things to other humans from my own personal experience.

 

As I told my mother as a child and to my surprise to her reaction, "I would have tried to stop it, if I was there." Her reaction was one of being appalled, because to stop would mean some animal/human sacrifice to prevent her from going to hell would have been stopped. She acted like it was far better than sliced bread. IMO, that is primitive and barbaric thinking- always has been. Add to that, I never did like how people treated other animals, as though they were somehow inferior. They are not and at least they were there to comfort a poor child when no one else would. It would seem my rants against the crucifixion were just as offensive to a certain priest, but I never knew it until after I left the Church and she finally told me. I really don't care, because I have always found the crucifixion barbaric. You just do not do that to other human beings, even if you do believe they are the "Son of God" and need to be sacrifice for our sins. It is no better than the thinking of primitive human beings and ironically, it comes from that very type of thinking and ritual sacrifice. Such a shame that so many humans have not evolved in their thinking and are still of such primitive thought in this day and age.

 

Oh go ahead and think it. I don't really care. If that means I never was a Xian, I am glad of it, because I have NEVER wanted to intentionally do harm to another human being and to support such thinking is to promote harm to others. If it had actually happened and I was there, yes, I would have attempted to stop it, even at the cost of my own life, because that is just cruel and barbaric punishment, and may I add, sadistic too.

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Suppose, a person answered "no", does this mean their current treatment of people was reflective of when they were a Christian. Is so what does that say about their Christian experience. Now suppose a person answered "yes", then we have two possibilities. Their current treatment of people is worse then before or their current treatment of people is better then before. Let's suppose it is the former. Then this implies a goodness stemming from Christianity. Now let's suppose it is the latter. Then this says something about their Christian experience.

 

Yes and no. Depends on what you consider Xian- see my statement above. I am glad I studied religion, mythology, and psychology, because it made the story of the Crucifixion unreal to me and placed where it belongs- in fiction. It is no more real to me now than Aesop's Fables and therefore it takes out some of the empathizing pain I felt about a man being murdered by others in such a barbaric and primitive manner and yes, I used those same words when I was a Xian. I thought it was barbaric and primitive then and I think such thinking is still primitive thinking and to believe it really happened with such enthusiasm is barbaric IMO. I have always struck at the heart of Xian belief and I have not stopped, even though it is no longer real to me. It is still real to others and IMO that type of thinking needs to stop, esp in the 21st Century.

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Suppose, a person answered "no", does this mean their current treatment of people was reflective of when they were a Christian. Is so what does that say about their Christian experience. Now suppose a person answered "yes", then we have two possibilities. Their current treatment of people is worse then before or their current treatment of people is better then before. Let's suppose it is the former. Then this implies a goodness stemming from Christianity. Now let's suppose it is the latter. Then this says something about their Christian experience.

 

Mat 7:20

(20) Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

I didn't play the game, but I'd like to comment.

 

If you have only two choices, and exclude what we would naturally consider the third and most likely choice, then you have created a bifurcation fallacy.

 

I'm having problems seeing at the moment, but you should understand that you are not plahying fairly.

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Suppose, a person answered "no", does this mean their current treatment of people was reflective of when they were a Christian. Is so what does that say about their Christian experience. Now suppose a person answered "yes", then we have two possibilities. Their current treatment of people is worse then before or their current treatment of people is better then before. Let's suppose it is the former. Then this implies a goodness stemming from Christianity. Now let's suppose it is the latter. Then this says something about their Christian experience.

 

Mat 7:20

(20) Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

I didn't play the game, but I'd like to comment.

 

If you have only two choices, and exclude what we would naturally consider the third and most likely choice, then you have created a bifurcation fallacy.

 

I'm having problems seeing at the moment, but you should understand that you are not plahying fairly.

Or honestly.

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