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Goodbye Jesus

Did Your View And Treatment Of Other People Change After Leaving Christianity?


OrdinaryClay

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Views and treatment are two different things, and therefore should not be lumped together in the way this poll does. My view of people changed but my treatment of them did not.

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Yes, after I left I actually started caring more about people instead of what they were doing wrong, and therefore they weren't under God's grace because of their sins. I've always said that even if I ever returned to Christianity, it would never be with the same hatred and judgmental attitude I had toward people prior to my deconversion.

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  • 2 months later...

I became a much friendlier. Before deconversion my particular flavor of xtianity teaches that people are either children of god or children of the devil. I had a generalized anxiety about a person until I knew they were a believer (well, unless I knew they were my kind of believer). I used to view people as potential friends (other xtians) or potential converts (nonbelievers).

 

While I became friendlier, I also stopped letting people walk all over me and treat me like a doormat. Xtianity taught me that everyone was always more important than me. I now treat myself with the respect I deserve. I also view everyone as a fellow human being instead of people who don't matter because they are going to burn forever.

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  • 1 year later...

Yes I became way more commpaasonate. I became way more tolerant of people and their beliefs. As long they do not push it down my throat. I became way more loving. All of this because I was no longer following a so called god who says he loves you but if you do not love him he will cast you into the fires of hell. That's not love.

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I realised what utter assholes people can be. Before that I was trained to always believe the best of every person. Now I protect myself from being constantly used and walked all over. My innocence has been shattered, mainly by the poor treatment I received atthe hands of christians.

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Nope. I've had a liberal view of life since I've had a view. I just don't believe the god myth anymore.

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No, not really.

 

I am less 'nice' just to be nice though and more authentic.

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i feel as though I treat people worse after having left Christianity. Hard to tell though, since as a Christian i didn't have strong boundaries and i got treated like a doormat. now i have stronger boudnaries, if i don't feel like calling someone, I don't call them, and I don't feel guilty, whereas when i was a christian i'd feel all guilty.

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My homophobia magically disappeared!    

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My christianophopbia magically appeared!

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  • 2 weeks later...

My christianophopbia magically appeared!

 

Haha, mine too!!! 

 

And to answer the OP, as someone else said my view changed but not so much my treatment. If anything, I started protecting myself more instead of just thinking I had to be this all giving person in order to show people how much Jesus loved them.  I can care about MYSELF without it being this horribly selfish horrid thing.  And good thing because no one else was even among the xtians.  And it's fine, I should be able to take care of myself. It was just amazingly hard to with such a debilitating anxiety disorder.  Christianity is NOT healthy AT ALL for people with any time of disorder. It's not healthy for anyone really, but I have noticed a decreased anxiety about certain things.  And I'm finally getting REAL help for my problems, not just prayer.  And now, after cognitive thinking and behavioral therapy, I also feel better and less likely to see taking an SSRI or birth control to help with hormones/depression as a failure to love the body and mind God gave me. Instead I now see it as it is and accept what I can to make it and my life better. 

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Yes. I became more compassionate, empathetic, and altruistic. I realized the only help people receive comes from other people, because there was no gawd to help them.

Exactly!  Hey, this may very well be our only shot... The next life Christianity would have you focus on is bullshit.  I think Christians take a back seat in this life not utilizing their full-potential to make this world a truly better place.  Especially if you believe you're living in the end times where the shit is supposed to hit the fan at any moment.  So why even give a fuck!? 

 

Well, now that it's all a sham, we have work to do to make this world better for ourselves and the generations that come after us.  We can make this world heaven or hell.  This existence, this reality.  This world - the one we live in should be our focus.  It absolutely should have always been our focus, but Christianity discreetly shifts your focus to the next one.  What a tragic waste.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Did your view and treatment of other people change after leaving Christianity? Do you notice any material change in how you acted toward or treated them after leaving?

Yes I don't see them as unloved by god anymore but Americans do seem pretty media brainwashed and that's tragic for us all so they still seem rather lost to me but...

I think love is the answer regardless so I try to do that I don't bug them by testifying about Jesus anymore

 

I'm not atheist mind you I just reject as fictional the Yahweh Jewish Christian god

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  • 3 months later...

Yes. On the one hand I am MUCH more tolerant. Being from a fundy Calvinist church there isn't much tolerance and lots of judging. On the other hand I now realize that it's also my one and only life and I'm not going to give EVERYTHING away just so I can "suffer for an eternal life of bliss" to come.

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No. I was broken a long time before I left Christianity. I was selfish and mean before I left Christianity and after.

 

I felt the sort of despair that only a rich white American kid who never had to worry about basic needs could. I never stopped believing in God, but I knew that He wasn't on my side. I wanted so badly to measure up, but I had given up trying. I knew it grieved my parents, and my large extended family, but I didn't really like them anyway. The less I had to see them the better.

 

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barnacleben: I am confused. You say you "left Christianity" yet you believe in the Trinity.

 

Does that just mean you decided the established churches are not really Christianity but you have the correct understanding?

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To answer OP; yes, for the better. There was no more 'us and them' mindset, and bible based views which made me very judgmental and critical of every, single, person I met. I learnt to be able to see and accept people for the person they are; including myself. So far I have had no inclination to kill, steal, lie, deceive or do any general harm. My morals have remained the same, except the cases where they have been improved; such as accepting gays and being against the indoctrination of children by any religion. My continued strong moral stance has baffled my christian friends as they honestly believe all morals come from god so as I have been separated from him (due to my rejection of his existence) I should find it harder to be 'good'. 

 

What responses did you expect Original Clay?

 

My personal opinion is that no religion or spirituality can in and of itself ,change a person. Drug addicts replace drugs with god and it looks like a miracle when they start to fly straight. Religion may be a strong motivator(in either direction) but it does not do the changing. Psychopaths are not cured when becoming christian, they just have a new environment to work out their illness in; to devastating effect at times. Often Christians treat their fellow man well in spite of the teaching of the bible, not because of them. 

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What responses did you expect Original Clay?

Why do you ask?

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Well, now that it's all a sham, we have work to do to make this world better for ourselves and the generations that come after us.  We can make this world heaven or hell.  This existence, this reality.  This world - the one we live in should be our focus.  It absolutely should have always been our focus, but Christianity discreetly shifts your focus to the next one.  What a tragic waste.

 

This is complete bullshit. Christianity does not shift our focus to the next world. A casual reading of the Gospels tells us this.

 

It stuns me my how so many who clam to have been Christians have so little understanding of what Christianity is.

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Yes. I became more compassionate, empathetic, and altruistic. I realized the only help people receive comes from other people, because there was no gawd to help them.

 

 

Absolutely. I stopped view people as us (saved) vs them (everyone else).

 

 

I treat people better now because I don't think I'm better than they are, and I don't do things with ulterior motives.

this pretty much sums it up :)

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What responses did you expect Original Clay?

Why do you ask?

 

 

I guess I am curious as to why you started this thread (if you can recall all the way back in 2010!) and if  these responses were anything like what you expected. I also wonder what your analysis of our responses are, considering you took the effort to set up a poll. Sorry if I am asking you to repeat yourself, I have not read every single post here. My personal experience is that as a christian I believed peoples morals would certainly take a turn for the worse and as a recent deconvert I have noticed christian friends amazed that my strong morals have not disappeared, or at least gone astray somewhat. 

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What responses did you expect Original Clay?

Why do you ask?

 

 

I guess I am curious as to why you started this thread (if you can recall all the way back in 2010!) and if  these responses were anything like what you expected. I also wonder what your analysis of our responses are, considering you took the effort to set up a poll. Sorry if I am asking you to repeat yourself, I have not read every single post here. My personal experience is that as a christian I believed peoples morals would certainly take a turn for the worse and as a recent deconvert I have noticed christian friends amazed that my strong morals have not disappeared, or at least gone astray somewhat. 

 

I can't remember what my original expectations were - if any.

 

Do the results surprise me? No. LOL Did I learn something. Yes. Learning is not always about reading the words of answers. Of course, I already knew that atheists and polytheists can have "morals" and be "good" people. That is obvious. That falls from our existence as social animals.

 

Do I know and believe that Christianity is the driving force behind world compassion and charity. Yes!!! Anyone who is honest will see that - atheist or not. That is exactly what the ilk of Ayn Rand hated about Christianity and Arthur Brooks helped show statistically (though he couched his in "conservatism" because he was playing politics) His results were because of the evangelicals.

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...That falls from our existence as social animals.

 

Do I know and believe that Christianity is the driving force behind world compassion and charity. Yes!!! Anyone who is honest will see that - atheist or not. That is exactly what the ilk of Ayn Rand hated about Christianity and Arthur Brooks helped show statistically (though he couched his in "conservatism" because he was playing politics) His results were because of the evangelicals.

 

 

Yes I agree we are social animals, but doesn't that fact make creator god a little redundant?

 

...and no, many people do not honestly see that christianity is the driving force behind world compassion and charity. I will grant that many christians do a great deal of practical good but so do muslims, buddhists, hindus and atheists. Around half the population in the world claims to be christian and the majority of the remainder claim other religions, so this would explain the more obvious presence of christians/religious in the charity business. This is cultural, in Jesus's day the romans and greeks would have claimed their gods as the cause of good, then of course Constantine switched them to the state religion of christianity.

 

More importantly much of the poverty and violence in the world can at least be partly attributed to religion (wars, oppression of women and gays, plus its the perfect way too to control a population). The countries with the highest standard of living, and longevity are actual democratic, non-religious and partly socialist Scandinavian countries, based on the last time I checked. Their whole society is set up to try to make sure those less fortunate are given opportunity to flourish and be safe and well. From my tiny understanding of Ayn Rand, she disliked christianity because it took away the individuals rights by making them subservient to other people and a false god, and also prevented them from seeking and finding true happiness for themselves. She did seem to be a very cold, clinical person who was intellectually brilliant but lacking in the basic ability to have compassion on others. This is a personality trait, that many christians also have (ie..some TV evangelists) not because of her ideas or lack of faith in god. As you said humans are animals; we are at the mercy of our biology to quite a degree and no amount of prayer, faith and sincere following of any religion has ever changed that. 

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We are animals if we want to be. We also have a brain so we can make choices. I get tired of people making excuses for their self centredness.

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We are animals if we want to be. We also have a brain so we can make choices. I get tired of people making excuses for their self centredness.

 

Technically we are animals, but as human animals we should be trying not to act like other species like you said; we have better brains and capacity for rational thought than other animals. Still, I believe much of our emotions and capacity to 'give a fuck' stems from biology. For example a true sociopath simply does not have the capacity to have empathy for others, which is what can make them so dangerous. It is the same as trying to think your way out of depression; some positive thinking and effort can help but it will not cure clinical depression. Biology is not an excuse for behaving badly, this is why we have jails - to protect society from those who either willingly hurt others or are unable to act any other way. Just seeing children with various mental health/personality issues demonstrates how biological this can be. I have seen children who just don't seem to be able to feel for other peoples suffering, and this is depspite having good adult examples of caring for others around them to emulate.

 

But yeh, people who make excuses for their self-centeredness are often just very selfish, could choose otherwise, but don't. This annoys me too. There can be reasons for bad behavior, and these need to be addressed compassionately, but people still must face the consequences of their actions and take responsibility for what is theirs. People behaving badly often are also destroying their own lives in the process so there is usually more to it that simply being selfish.

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