Erica Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 So, I'm new here, and I'm so glad I've found this place. But while it's been great reading about other post-Christian experiences, I was wondering if anyone else had the peculiar experience of growing up with L'Abri and Frances Schaeffer acolytes. It's a unique stew of intellectualism and fundamentalism, and in some ways, I have Schaeffer's emphasis on 'truth' to thank for my ultimate de-conversion -- not that that will be much comfort to my parents if I ever tell them. I almost feel like it would be easier to confront my parents and my upbringing if they'd been old-fashioned fundies of the 'because the Bible says so' variety, but they genuinely did their best to stay intellectually honest... with one glaring caveat, of course. So, yeah. Just wondering. Anyone else know what I'm talking about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MultifariousBirdLady Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 So, yeah. Just wondering. Anyone else know what I'm talking about? I'm familiar with Francis Schaeffer because my dad likes him a lot and got me to read one of his books. A couple friends of the family went to L'Abri, which really impressed my parents. Because they are into it I have probably been influenced by his kind of thinking, perhaps more than I'm aware of, since it's hard to know what ideas I absorbed directly from them that ultimately came from him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevoMuso Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 So, yeah. Just wondering. Anyone else know what I'm talking about? Back in the late 70s and early 80s I had a dream to go up to L'Abri, but it was financially impossible for South Africans on my level of income. Read all the FS books too - loved 'em. Studied apologetics and thought I had the whole "intellectual faith" thing sussed. Also got into Numerics - remember that stuff? Like, "Why 153 fish?" and converting words in the Bible to numbers and doing all those calculations - mmm, brings back fond memories of trying to justify faith on an intellectual level. Like you though, the mental processes developed through all that study led me to ask way too many questions which later contributed to the demise of my faith. Welcome on board Erica - you will find many like-minded people here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 Thanks for the welcome! I actually did spend some time at a couple of L'Abri centers -- six weeks in Massachusetts, and a week in England. The first time I came close to de-converting, my L'Abri stay was what convinced me not to... although in retrospect, that had much more to do with the lifestyle there than it did with any genuinely substantive arguments. But it was definitely in Schaeffer's 'true Truth' philosophy that the cognitive dissonance started for me. The hardest thing, now, is that my parents and sister are still firmly ensconced in that ideology, and I have no idea how to break the news to them. The fact that I live overseas helps, but I'm about to spend two months living with my parents again, thanks to visa issues, and I'm terrified this is going to come up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Oh Yah! Schaeffer was all the rage when I was in Bible Collage. I think that that his books primed me for intellectual deconversion and I still look for absurd ends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MultifariousBirdLady Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 I'm about to spend two months living with my parents again, thanks to visa issues, and I'm terrified this is going to come up... Hi Erica, How do you think they would react? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica Posted March 24, 2010 Author Share Posted March 24, 2010 I'm about to spend two months living with my parents again, thanks to visa issues, and I'm terrified this is going to come up... Hi Erica, How do you think they would react? I think it would break their hearts. Just absolutely crush them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MultifariousBirdLady Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 I think it would break their hearts. Just absolutely crush them. Why is that? Fear that you'd go to hell? Or something else? What do you think they would do? It was very hard for my parents when I told them. My mom cried. We fought. But we have gotten over that and our relationship has improved a lot since then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeking Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 I think it would break their hearts. Just absolutely crush them. I thought that about my parents, too, but when it came down to it, they chose to believe that I'm just going through a phase and in the end I'll be a Christian again. I thought I was very clear about that not being the case, but hey - if it gives them comfort to delude themselves, who am I to stop them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 I think it would break their hearts. Just absolutely crush them. Why is that? Fear that you'd go to hell? Or something else? What do you think they would do? It was very hard for my parents when I told them. My mom cried. We fought. But we have gotten over that and our relationship has improved a lot since then. Yeah, pretty much fear I'd go to hell. They're not overbearing types, so I don't have any worries about getting cut off or smacked around or anything. It's not in their nature to try to force someone to believe, because they (rightfully) see that as contradictory. But they've had a rough couple of years -- the church screwed them over in a very personal way (and all done with a smile, of course) when my dad decided to resign as pastor and go back into his original job as a mortgage broker, then their finances pretty much crashed (see: mortgage broker in 2008). To clarify, none of this has anything to do with my atheism! But I've never seen them go through such hard times, and I'm afraid this would push them over the edge, somehow. I'd actually really like to tell them; I've always had these great conversations with both of them about spiritual matters, and it feels strange NOT talking to them about something this personal. How did you tell yours? Seeker: It's occurred to me that mine may do that as well, but I'm not sure if that's better or worse. Is it hard to see them cling to hope, when you know it's useless? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeking Posted March 25, 2010 Share Posted March 25, 2010 Seeker: It's occurred to me that mine may do that as well, but I'm not sure if that's better or worse. Is it hard to see them cling to hope, when you know it's useless? It is frustrating, but part of that just comes from knowing that in some ways they still view me as a child who needs guidance, despite the fact that I'm in my mid-30s! I would love for them to understand the truth and acknowledge it, but that would mean they would realize that they'd centered their lives around a myth. At this point, I've decided to just let them think I'm deluded, because it makes them feel better. Besides, they are incapable of listening to reason when it deals with religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 I would love for them to understand the truth and acknowledge it, but that would mean they would realize that they'd centered their lives around a myth. ^^ Yes! They HAVE to believe that the ONLY logical conclusion is the one they've drawn. I have no need to 'convert' them to atheism, but just the suggestion that someone can look at all the facts and reasoning and draw a different conclusion is threatening to them. Which is another part of why I'm afraid of telling them. I don't want to BE a threat to them, or to their self-image as intelligent and thoughtful people. Which they are, in general. They just have this one tiny, fundamental block... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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