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Goodbye Jesus

Anger From Being "fooled" For So Long...


millie999

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I was a fool.

And not because I was a non-believer. I was a true fool for believing the christianity garbage. For going from church to church trying to be accepted, but always being told that it was not enough for god. Not enough of an offering, not enough of mission work, not enough bible study, not fully giving myself to him. And it went on and on until the day:

September 20, 2008-- the last day I ever sat through a church service.

Since that day, my life has improved dramatically. Once I stopped going around those fools and asking for prayer so that god would solve my problems, my life changed for the better. I realized that I was in control, not this mythical creature known as god. Because I knew that I had the control, I made those changes and I actually enjoy life now. Except for one thing:

I am steaming mad at church and "christians" and god. The level of my anger varies and I can even laugh at them fools alot. But I wasted so much time and energy and money on this god crap. I really need to find a way to channel my anger into something productive.

What have members here done with the anger that they feel?

I know that coming here has been very helpful, and also throwing away all of my christian stuff was fun too.

I was thinking about screwing with the minds of christians like they screw with the minds of others. I was thinking about playing a little game with them and visiting various churches and trying to see if they can pick out the non-believer. And them write a blog about the churches I visit. I think it would be funny to mess with their minds. And it would also prove the fakeness of god, because if god is really real, wouldn't he tell hi people "Psst. Hey, that girl over there in the green shirt is not really a believer".

What do the ex-christians here think? And does anyone have some other ideas?

Thanks, friends!

 

Millie999

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I always wanted to act very pious and then swear that god spoke to me and he said to continue the Salem witch hunts, and start accusing people. Wouldn't that be fun.. :wicked:

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I find that simply existing and openly being who I am is enough to piss off plenty of believers.

 

So many of them just don't really seem that comfortable around intelligent, feminist, atheist, polyamorous, liberal women who won't put up with their shit.

 

Can't imagine why not.

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I actually practice what they preach. I work hard, help with charity, help others, don't over extend myself, am not overly materialistic, and I'm genuinely happy with my meager lot. When they come up to me and start asking me if I feel if something is missing from my life, I can honestly say "No. I don't feel like anything is missing in my life."

 

When you actually like your life, that reflects in your whole demeanor.

 

Pisses them right the fuck off, it does. An atheist has GOT IT, is doing it better than they are, and got everything they were supposed to have their servant god hand to them on a silver platter! :wicked:

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Ditto Gwenmead and Kurari...Ditto Ditto Ditto!!!

Ditto!

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Agreed. It confuses hell out'a them.

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My view is that you should simply move on and don't look back. This is a tough call because you may feel betrayed by the very people you trusted (parents/teachers/pastors) but you need to know that they thought they were doing the "good and right" thing. Ignorance is not a very good excuse for betrayal of this magnitude, but I think you may understand their motives enough to forgive them.

 

You know Millie999, I don't think you should allow your anger/hurt to define your actions. Nor should you allow "not being a Christian" to determine the kind of personal identity you aspire towards. For me, I live my life to the full. I enjoy my work, kids, loved ones, hobby's, and live a life FREE OF RELIGION. In a way it's what the others have said so far in this thread - just be yourself and enjoy your life and the credulous will get rattled enough without you having to go on a church-dissing rampage.

 

You are finally free of religion - so just be free.

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As one who went through the brainwashing, you realize you were duped. I think you can also realize that many of those involved in duping you were themselves duped. So I wouldn't suggest directing anger at them anymore than at yourself.

 

That was the struggle for me when I came to grips with reality. I had believed a myth for a long time because I was lied to, which irritated me, but I had nobody to be irritated at, since they sincerely believed that they were doing the right thing by teaching me the myth.

 

I wouldn't suggest trying to piss them off. It may happen anyway, once they realize you no longer believe, but if you go out of your way and do something to really get under their skin, it will just give them really bad vibes about you personally. They will see you as an irritable jerk, which will reinforce their beliefs that those who leave the faith are not sincere, which in turn will simply strengthen their faith in the mythology of christianity.

 

I'd suggest to just get on with your life. Forgive and forget, as they say. Don't be an ass, be a good person and try to find enjoyment in life.

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I am steaming mad at church and "christians" and god.

<snip>

I really need to find a way to channel my anger into something productive.

What have members here done with the anger that they feel?

 

Boy, I understand this. During the time when I was very angry, I used to get on religious debate channels on irc and argue with Christians until I was blue in the face. It allowed me to vent as much as I wanted, and I learned a lot in the process, too. Beyond a certain point, though, it became counterproductive and kept me angry, at least for a while.

Eventually the arguments got old and I just let it go. I was much happier after that.

 

I know that coming here has been very helpful, and also throwing away all of my christian stuff was fun too.

Ahh, see, I kept the majority of my Xtian books. It's now kind-of an exhibit that I can show to curious people (which hardly ever happens, but still...). :grin:

 

I don't think you should allow your anger/hurt to define your actions.

<snip>

You are finally free of religion - so just be free.

 

As one who went through the brainwashing, you realize you were duped. I think you can also realize that many of those involved in duping you were themselves duped. So I wouldn't suggest directing anger at them anymore than at yourself.

 

There's a lot of wisdom in both of these approaches, too. It depends on what you want to do. If you have a lot of anger you just can't walk away from, pick something productive and use it. Debate, volunteer, write, make art, whatever.

 

But if you can just leave the anger behind and really live the freedom that StevoMuso is talking about, that could be the best approach of all.

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I understand your anger about the "not being good enough". No real church does that. They should guide people, not humilate them, and leave them alone.

 

And if they don't want to be a christian or go to church, they should respect their common sense and reasons why and love them as their neighbor anyway, without condemnation. Jesus wasnt'about a religion but about being a good person and practices and love.

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I actually considered the same thing Millie! Going to church and acting just to see whether I'd be picked out. But in the end I just couldn't bear the thought of having to get up every Sun morning for church and going through all the boring stuff. THere's no doubt in my mind I could fool all the Christians. Supposedly I was never a true Christian to begin with, but funny that nobody ever spotted that. They still put me in positions of authority and responsibility. There is no descernment from the Holy spirit and most Christians are just playing a game themselves. They pretent to be holy and in touch with God, but in reality they're not.

 

They way I dealt with the anger was writing my views and posting them on facebook and on religious forums and shooting down silly Christian arguments in flames. That was my method and it seemed to work. Poking fun at Christiainity is also therapeutic I find. A bit of blasphemy definitely helps.

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Another idea: start a blog. Nice place to write your feelings down and publish them on the net - and it's free.

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Travel to godless parts of this great land, such as New York City or the Pacific Northwest. Go and see Europe. You'll find out that this sickness of which you speak is by-and-large an American sickness, and a largely provincial one at that. The world of fundies is a lot smaller and a lot more laughable than you seem to realize. They are, in the grand scheme of things, in the big picture that is humanity, truly insignificant.

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I was a fool.

We all were. For the same reasons you gave. Just be happy you didn't burn through 30+ years like I did (or more like some around here have).

 

What do the ex-christians here think? And does anyone have some other ideas?

Being more educated about their stupid religion and then being indifferent about all their petty bullshit pisses them off to no end.

 

mwc

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Supposedly I was never a true Christian to begin with, but funny that nobody ever spotted that. They still put me in positions of authority and responsibility. There is no descernment from the Holy spirit

 

Same here. Though I haven't had any of my former church acquaintances tell me specifically that I was never a true believer (I haven't really come out to many as a nonbeliever), I know that some will think that, and I've been told that by christians online. Yet a pastor picked me as one to consider going into the ministry; I was used as a Sunday school teacher, youth leader, bible study leader and drummer in the worship team; I was told that I had the "gifts" of knowledge and discernment. The holy spook never informed any of the christians I was in contact with that I wasn't a "true believer." Hmmmm.....

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Nothing screws with fundies more than a happy, kindhearted, ethical, and well to do atheist. The existence of such a thing proves to them that their delusional idea of what non believers are like is false, and that scares the ever living piss out of them.

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Don't worry about pissing them off. Just live life. Free yourself from the shackles of Christianity. Improve yourself. Get a hobby. Join a non-Christian club. Read. Hike. Spend time with family and friends.

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I was a fool.

And not because I was a non-believer. I was a true fool for believing the christianity garbage. For going from church to church trying to be accepted, but always being told that it was not enough for god. Not enough of an offering, not enough of mission work, not enough bible study, not fully giving myself to him. And it went on and on until the day:

September 20, 2008-- the last day I ever sat through a church service.

Since that day, my life has improved dramatically. Once I stopped going around those fools and asking for prayer so that god would solve my problems, my life changed for the better. I realized that I was in control, not this mythical creature known as god. Because I knew that I had the control, I made those changes and I actually enjoy life now.

Good for you, and I'm glad you're here.

 

Except for one thing:

I am steaming mad at church and "christians" and god. The level of my anger varies and I can even laugh at them fools alot. But I wasted so much time and energy and money on this god crap. I really need to find a way to channel my anger into something productive.

What have members here done with the anger that they feel?

I was quite angry for a while too. In a sense I think I'm still upset, but I have a little more control over it now. It was such a waste, and there are so many situations I should have handled differently, but all-in-all, all these events made me to who I am. And perhaps that's what you have to realize.

 

Let's say you never wasted those years with the church and going from one to another, what would you be today? Would you really be a person who bravely and assertively left church? Are you sure you would be a de-convert now unless you had experienced all those things that eventually made you realize? Do you see what I'm saying?

 

How would you know if you like apples or not unless you try? You have had this experience now, so it makes you more convinced and certain of your decision. So see it as one large: been-there-done-that, and I'm not going to be fooled again.

 

I know that coming here has been very helpful, and also throwing away all of my christian stuff was fun too.

I was thinking about screwing with the minds of christians like they screw with the minds of others. I was thinking about playing a little game with them and visiting various churches and trying to see if they can pick out the non-believer. And them write a blog about the churches I visit. I think it would be funny to mess with their minds. And it would also prove the fakeness of god, because if god is really real, wouldn't he tell hi people "Psst. Hey, that girl over there in the green shirt is not really a believer".

I don't know. You have to do what you think is right for you, but I have a feeling that if you engage in this kind of activity, you will only prolong your hurt. Try to break with it instead before you go on a retaliation tour.

 

What do the ex-christians here think? And does anyone have some other ideas?

My way of defeating Christianity is to be here and take care of the people who left. To openly declare that I'm happy, content, achieved peace and tranquility, and to explain to them that religious and convoluted words can't convince me of their delusion. I consider that enough for me.

 

 

 

Thanks, friends!

 

Millie999

Welcome Millie, and I hope you'll have fun here. :)

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I know some believers that say they can sense the holy spirit in people, but they have not picked me out, lol.

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I know some believers that say they can sense the holy spirit in people, but they have not picked me out, lol.

The same happened to me a couple of years ago.

 

I went back to my home country and met with my family. One day we prayed (and I joined). They didn't know then that I had de-converted (some of them know now). I prayed with them. And the routine is that everyone takes a few minutes and pray loud (leading the prayer). So I did, and I prayed in tongues, but inside I just made all up. I knew it was fake, but I didn't want to shock them then-and-there. After, they were all happy and no one every knew or said anything. I can still pray in tongues--the insignia of supposedly being baptized in the Holy Spirit.

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Heehee, Your impious church haunting idea sounds kinda fun. But possibly harmful to you, as a human (I assume) you are still subject to peer pressures and familiarity based unconscious ideal acceptance, as I am.

Ex-alcoholics are wise to avoid the bar room.

The best avenue for anger expression for me is to debate the religious who troll theses sites. It is very therapeutic to refute the claims of people whose delusional arguments I once touted. Good on you for breaking free.

-Cully

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Nothing screws with fundies more than a happy, kindhearted, ethical, and well to do atheist. The existence of such a thing proves to them that their delusional idea of what non believers are like is false, and that scares the ever living piss out of them.

 

You just said "piss," so you're not ethical. Woohoo, the fundies are right!

 

 

Oh, wait, I forgot that the bible Paul used has "pisseth" in it....

 

 

;)

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Ditto Gwenmead and Kurari...Ditto Ditto Ditto!!!

Ditto!

 

Another ditto!

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I know some believers that say they can sense the holy spirit in people, but they have not picked me out, lol.

 

 

yeah, I used to be able to do that. In fact, I can still intuitively tell often when I'm dealing with a "born again" or "highly involved" Christian.

 

There's the sort of "rehearsed persona" effect, where the smile is a little bit contrived. Then there's the wide-eye stare and the attempt to penetrate you with the pupils. Then there's the long sigh as they talk about the Lord as though one would talk about fabulous sex or something. In my community it's quite repetitive in style. It's never just a kind of friendly openness like I get on the Ferry ride to the Gulf Islands. There, people are just really friendly and natural, regardless of their beliefs or life-style. But in my town, the Evangelical/Fundy crowd all have a similar kind of presentation, a little bit contrived. They act like they are "interested" in your interests, but not really. It's just all a prelude to some kind of "conversion come-on". No, really. Someone should do a study.

 

That's another reason why many random Christians piss me off a little, even when they're nice. It isn't just a plain sincere, "you seem like a cool guy" kind of thing. There's an "angle" lurking in the weeds, everytime. And when that doesn't work, a kind of "ignore you the next time they run into you thing".

 

"Religion poisons everything". Yup.

 

Sorry for the tangent.

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You could make little flyers of biblical errors and atrocities and slip it into the hymns.

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