process_of_rejection Posted March 14, 2010 Share Posted March 14, 2010 Ok, ill start by saying it was quite a relief to find this forum. Allow me to tell you a bit about myself and my situation. In the last couple of years or so I became somewhat involved in Satanism, and people who practice black magic designed to inflict extreme emotional and spiritual pain upon people. I didnt really know who or what I was getting involved with so I turned to God and Christ for salvation. I prayed and prayed and one night I had a vision of Christ. It was a beautiful experience. But shortly after this I got to know some hardcore Christians and found I just couldnt believe in everything they do. They seem to be under the impression that "if its not the teachings of the bible, its Satan, youre smote!". For example I brought up how the teachings of buddha promote peace and equality, but they replied that its "The Devils Playground". I laughed. I do feel pretty stupid because I went and bought all this Christian jewellery, and a big cross for my wall, to keep evil spirits at bay, which does work because its a symbol of protection, but I did this before I actually got to know some Christians, but every day I find my faith slipping a little more, and finding some of the Christian beliefs more and more laughable. The problem is, they bombard you on a spiritual level. I mean, just because I turned to God for protection from extreme things (and I mean extreme), that doesn't mean I want to be a fuckin angel for the rest of my life, ya know? I find myself craving two very conflicting things here-Independant thought AND the security of God. Actually, also spiritual growth, but I just dont want to limit myself to just Christianity. Im pretty fuckin torn here, if that wasnt obvious enough. Im still young, and im the kind of person who changes beliefs farely often, thats why I rushed out and bought all that shit, but a lot of it just seems so laughable now. I find myself wanting to escape Christianity. Can you give me any advice? Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Valkyrie0010 Posted March 14, 2010 Share Posted March 14, 2010 Get away from them if you can, or become, more acute, in debate with them. Be good at asking questions, and not sounding like your being arguementitive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyone Posted March 14, 2010 Share Posted March 14, 2010 Actually, also spiritual growth, but I just dont want to limit myself to just Christianity. Im pretty fuckin torn here, if that wasnt obvious enough. Im still young, and im the kind of person who changes beliefs farely often, thats why I rushed out and bought all that shit, but a lot of it just seems so laughable now. I find myself wanting to escape Christianity. Can you give me any advice? Thanks. Spirituality can be a mine field, so watch where you step. If someone tells you that Christians can fly, don't jump off of a building. Looking at all religions is wise, but watch the discrepancies and note that each religion is to some extent proprietary - that is, they are mutually contradictory. Each has a plan, a set of rituals, and demands that are place on the follower. You can't possibly satisfy all religions' demands, and I think that in time you will see that there are parts of all religions that are absolutely untrue. Just bizarre stuff that is made up. When you try to sort the wheat from the chaff, you will find it's all chaff and reality is where the real wheat is. Good luck on your journey. And welcome to the forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franko47 Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 I find myself craving two very conflicting things here-Independant thought AND the security of God. Ah......that can be problematic.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
process_of_rejection Posted March 15, 2010 Author Share Posted March 15, 2010 I find myself craving two very conflicting things here-Independant thought AND the security of God. Ah......that can be problematic.... Yes im starting to realize that. I just kind of feel like a tool, going out and buying all that stuff like some hardcore christian, when all I really wanted was to keep some very nasty shit at bay. I wasnt expecting all this spiritual bombardment, but I guess now it makes sense that all that would happen, especially to someone like myself who has opened up various spiritual portals. I am kicking myself for many things right now. I think I just need to slow down my thinking and think long and hard about certain changes I make rather than rushing into them. Im curious as to some of your spiritual beliefs now days, being ex christians? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyone Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 I find myself craving two very conflicting things here-Independant thought AND the security of God. Ah......that can be problematic.... Yes im starting to realize that. I just kind of feel like a tool, going out and buying all that stuff like some hardcore christian, when all I really wanted was to keep some very nasty shit at bay. I wasnt expecting all this spiritual bombardment, but I guess now it makes sense that all that would happen, especially to someone like myself who has opened up various spiritual portals. I am kicking myself for many things right now. I think I just need to slow down my thinking and think long and hard about certain changes I make rather than rushing into them. Im curious as to some of your spiritual beliefs now days, being ex christians? My beliefs vanished in a puff of smoke. Just disappeared. I had no intention of losing my beliefs, but the evidence of my searches took away my faith. It's like catching your parents putting out the present from Santa. Poof. Now, I can't say I have any "spirituality" per se. I am in awe of nature, I am a humanist, and I aspire to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw a wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it. Aim high. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cullyloden Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 You mention the Roman implement of extreme torture as an object which can protect you from extreme things. I assume that those things you mention are supernatural forces. I urge you to check out this venerable old magician/investigator's life's work. http://www.randi.org/site/index.php/1m-challenge.html His activities have assisted many people in discovering the true nature of their paranormal beliefs. Keep good hopes to drive you and good plans to guide you... -Cully Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShallowByThyGame Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 The more you read and study the more you will begin to understand how small we as a species are. Is it easy to accept 'ready made' answers, but if all you know of the ocean is from sitting in a sushi shop, then you are living in a very small box. In my studies I have come to understand how humans, when they can't solve a problem, invent a fake solution so they can ignore it. I see all supernatural claims coming from this concept. As human technology advanced, human theology adapted and backpedaled. There never were any dragons, and while there were things to discover, they were discovered by people who went out looking for them and could show evidence of their discoveries, not those who 'just knew' or had the truth revealed only to them. I urge you to not accept claims just because they 'sound good'. You may have to say 'I don't know', but that is better than saying 'I know' and being wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnnyboy76 Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 As long as your feeling like you need to keep "evil spirits" at bay and think that you have opened up "spiritual portals", your still tangled up in the same kind fear induced superstitious religious fairy tales. Its good that you have realized christianity is a sham, but you need to learn that you wont find any more truth in any of that New Agey tripe either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
process_of_rejection Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 Yeah thats a fair call. So where do you seek truth Johhnyboy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnnyboy76 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Yeah thats a fair call. So where do you seek truth Johhnyboy? lately, at the bottom of a bottle of rum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagan Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 I don't know you at all, but your posts sound like you've been caught up in a lot of magical thinking. You may find that independent thought and spirituality don't go hand in hand. Or, you might find incredible meaning in something new. I encourage you to research any and all spirituality you find attractive or repugnant, figure out what makes it tick and see if it is beneficial to you. Go from there, and good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MultifariousBirdLady Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 I find myself craving two very conflicting things here-Independant thought AND the security of God. Actually, also spiritual growth, but I just dont want to limit myself to just Christianity. Im pretty fuckin torn here, if that wasnt obvious enough. Im still young, and im the kind of person who changes beliefs farely often, thats why I rushed out and bought all that shit, but a lot of it just seems so laughable now. I find myself wanting to escape Christianity. Can you give me any advice? Thanks. Hi Process_of_rejection, Congrats on insisting that you want independent thought. Keep insisting and working towards that end and you will have it. As far as wanting "the security of God," could you describe more of what you mean by this? By what you have posted here, it is looking to me like you want "God" as some kind of protection against the Satanic stuff you were previously involved with. Please correct me if I'm wrong about this. May I suggest that perhaps your fears of the Satanic stuff (if that's what's going on) are as colored by erroneous beliefs as the "spiritual bombardment" the Christians are directing at you is colored by their erroneous beliefs? May I also suggest that perhaps wanting "security" is working against you? Paradoxically, there may be more security in not committing your heart and soul to any particular belief system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevoMuso Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 May I also suggest that perhaps wanting "security" is working against you? Paradoxically, there may be more security in not committing your heart and soul to any particular belief system. Good point, and probably the one you should start with. You may also wish to consider that your confusion comes from your belief in the existence of a supernatural or metaphysical realm. So, in all your research you may find immediate clarity if you consider the possibility that God simply does not exist at all. It's amazing how free that will make you feel - and how much confusion it will clear up in an instant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MultifariousBirdLady Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 May I also suggest that perhaps wanting "security" is working against you? Paradoxically, there may be more security in not committing your heart and soul to any particular belief system. Good point, and probably the one you should start with. You may also wish to consider that your confusion comes from your belief in the existence of a supernatural or metaphysical realm. So, in all your research you may find immediate clarity if you consider the possibility that God simply does not exist at all. It's amazing how free that will make you feel - and how much confusion it will clear up in an instant. I don't see as much of a problem with belief in a "metaphysical" realm (I wouldn't call it "supernatural" because I think if it exists, it's natural) as with insisting that this realm must conform to Christian ideology before taking the time to investigate other ways of thinking about how that "realm" might work. People who have had spiritual experiences and so on like Process_of_rejection has can't always just dismiss them in favor of atheism. Ultimately, I couldn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevoMuso Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 People who have had spiritual experiences and so on like Process_of_rejection has can't always just dismiss them in favor of atheism. Ultimately, I couldn't. Fair enough. But I would like to add that I think many people who have been active Believers, and are looking around at alternative beliefs, sometimes forget to add the "no God" theory to their list of possible solutions (it was like this for me before my de-conversion so I am a prime example of this). It may have value for our OC to at least add "atheism" to the list of "things to consider". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MultifariousBirdLady Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 It may have value for our OC to at least add "atheism" to the list of "things to consider". I agree; that's a good point, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
process_of_rejection Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 I find myself craving two very conflicting things here-Independant thought AND the security of God. Actually, also spiritual growth, but I just dont want to limit myself to just Christianity. Im pretty fuckin torn here, if that wasnt obvious enough. Im still young, and im the kind of person who changes beliefs farely often, thats why I rushed out and bought all that shit, but a lot of it just seems so laughable now. I find myself wanting to escape Christianity. Can you give me any advice? Thanks. Hi Process_of_rejection, Congrats on insisting that you want independent thought. Keep insisting and working towards that end and you will have it. As far as wanting "the security of God," could you describe more of what you mean by this? By what you have posted here, it is looking to me like you want "God" as some kind of protection against the Satanic stuff you were previously involved with. Please correct me if I'm wrong about this. May I suggest that perhaps your fears of the Satanic stuff (if that's what's going on) are as colored by erroneous beliefs as the "spiritual bombardment" the Christians are directing at you is colored by their erroneous beliefs? May I also suggest that perhaps wanting "security" is working against you? Paradoxically, there may be more security in not committing your heart and soul to any particular belief system. Bird Lady, thats exactly what I meant by the security of God. God did protect me from what I was doing before but I believe now I could well be alright on my own, only time will tell though. Also, you can suggest anything you want, I'm all ears. I do agree that the best security would be standing tall on my own without help from any God, and right now that's my ultimate goal. Breaking away is proving difficult though, despite me being a Christian for a relatively short time period. The main reason I'm wanting to break away is that any conversation I've had with Christians has always sounded so...brainwashed...I didn't say anything though to spare the true believers feelings, and I've witnessed God pull people out of terrible situations riddled with drug and alcohol abuse, and poverty and change them in to hard working, decent people so I guess there's something to be said for that, I just dont think it's for me though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cogitoergosum Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 The people who you saw 'changed' were changed not by an outside force but by having a supportive community around them as well as the sudden belief in their own power (through the supposed power of God) to change. If you believe in yourself and have a network of people supporting you, you can change yourself and your life regardless of your religious beliefs. Christ did not save them from drugs/drinking, their BELIEF that Christ COULD save them, saved them. i.e. their absolute belief in the POSSIBILITY of hope, gave them the incentive and the psychological edge they needed to succeed. What of the success stories of many ex addicts who changed and became hardworking people WITHOUT 'Christ'? Secondly, I hope that your search for truth will lead you to realize that Satan and demons do not exist and you have not opened yourself up to any 'portals' (that's Christian-speak by the way, so I assume they're the ones who gave you the idea that you'd opened yourself up to portals through Satanism.) What you have to understand, eventually, is that just as God/Jesus does not exist, neither does Satan, and so both of your belief systems have been in religions with a set of rituals dedicated to beings who do not even exist. You do not need protection from Satan or demons because they do not exist. They are mythology. Keep asking questions, keep researching, and I hope that you will eventually find peace in the knowledge of lack of the metaphysical, so that you no longer need security blankets/protection from your own fears which were introduced to you by deluded people. Fears of the demonic can be hard to overcome but the first step is realizing that they have no basis in reality. You were taught to fear, and taught to believe in non-entities, and Satanism and Christianity are no different from each other in that respect. You now have to unlearn the lies you were taught, and eventually the fear will unravel as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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