What Is Up With This Shit?

[cobrakai]

So I have this strange, probably unhealthy habit, of turning on Christian radio or the 700 club so I can get a laugh or two. Usually though I just end up wanting to put my fist through a wall. There is one thing I've noticed that I probably never really did when I believed: What the Fuck is up with all the whispering?!!! Fuck it is so annoying. It's not even a full whisper it's more like this light breathy way of speaking. I live in Michigan and there is a station here called WMUZ 103.5. They have a DJ named Robin Sullivan. Every time I hear her speak I want to smash my head through my dashboard. Seriously, see if you can find her online and know the pain I speak of. Fuck it here is a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7_yicrhEp8

 

On the 700 club there is some other guy (not Pat Robertson) with big puffy gray hair and when he prays he does the same shit. He closes his eyes all tight and just starts breathing at me. It reminds me of being in my mega church with some douche in his 20s up at the mic with an acoustic guitar just lightly strumming while he lifts his head toward the sky. Before he starts singing he just starts breathing all light and airy into the mic saying shit like "you are great god, we praise your name, you are my alpha and omega".....and so forth. Anyway, just a rant. No real point here. Just annoyed. I mean what the fuck? do they think they are more holy if they whisper?

 

Now I need a shot since I actually watched that whole link, my head is spinning. To think there are millions out there that think she is "speaking truth". FUCK!

[Xerces]

If they aren't yelling, they are whispering. LoL I'm not sure if they think it is more holy, or if they really believe they are loved by that psycho they read about in the buybull. However you might have a point, she was mentioning how people are headed for destruction, maybe she does think shes righteous or some nonsense. I don't worry about it much, F prechers.

[Shyone]

They have a DJ named Robin Sullivan. Every time I hear her speak I want to smash my head through my dashboard. Seriously, see if you can find her online and know the pain I speak of. Fuck it here is a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7_yicrhEp8

I don't care about the voice, but what she said was hilarious!

 

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Jesus is coming, and there are people who are going, and they are headed to their eternal destruction and they are headed to Hell. And no one has ever stopped them to say, "Excuse me, but did you know that there is a god who loves you?"

 

[Vigile]

It's a manipulative technique. This was one of the major things that got the ball rolling for me on my deconversion.

 

I was attending a church that had a pastor who followed a similar technique. He would start out soft making the audience feel warm, comfortable and loved. He would then build toward a climax where he would break us down, imploring us to change, making us feel guilty. When he did this he was practically yelling and was very berating. He would then rebuild us again as he began to speak more softly and lovingly as he reinforced both his criticism and a sense of love.

 

IOW, he was brainwashing us.

 

At the time I had a roommate from the Bahamas. He told me he hated the pastor. I couldn't understand why and I told him 'can't you see how god speaks through him?' My roommate then pointed out the formula to me, which he knew very well as his dad was a pastor back home.

 

Following I would sit in church each week getting angrier and angrier as I realized he truly was using a formula and that he was being manipulative. Eventually I just stopped going to church and set out on my own private mission to find out what really was true.

[Abmin9]

Cobrakai,

What a GREAT way to start my morning!! That's some FUNNY shit you just wrote! Just keep this in mind... Your "wanting to put your head through the dashboard" makes for a very entertaining rant which, without Christian radio, you couldn't write otherwise. (Hey, maybe THAT's why it exists!)

 

Here's a great video I hope I get the pleasure of introducing you to. If you've seen it before, it's definitely worth watching time and time again...

 

God bless you. (just kidding)

 

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=Qo9kJZvYBB0

[Abmin9]

F prechers.

Yeah, I saw what you commented on YouTube... LMFAO!!!

[Abmin9]

 

I was attending a church that had a pastor who followed a similar technique. He would start out soft making the audience feel warm, comfortable and loved. He would then build toward a climax where he would break us down, imploring us to change, making us feel guilty. When he did this he was practically yelling and was very berating. He would then rebuild us again as he began to speak more softly and lovingly as he reinforced both his criticism and a sense of love.

 

 

My roommate then pointed out the formula to me

 

Dude!!! You just gave away the secret formula!!! Oh, no! Next, you'll be telling everyone that Thai doughnuts at most Asian restaurants are made from Pillsbury biscuits cut in half and deep fried!! Ah shit! I guess I just gave that one away!!

 

You're funny!

[Loren]

cobrakai, I do the same thing. I listen to Christian radio and end up wanting to punch a wall. Mainly, I do it for the same reasons that I imagine good, sensible Germans who detested Hitler would listen to his radio rants: Not because they supported his goals, but because he scared the shit out of them and they wanted to keep track of what that madman was trying to do to their country.

 

And I've long noticed exactly what you mentioned about the breathy whisper. Like you, I found that it's usually the women, but not always. Nancy Leigh DeMoss is, for me, the prime example of this shit. Clearly, she wants to give the impression that she's just so damned awestruck by the awesome awesomeness of her awesomely awesome god that she can't talk like a normal adult when speaking the name of Jesus. Sometimes, it even gets to the point where I could swear she's just about to have an orgasm as she talks.

 

And clearly, such hosts are training their guests to do the same, that, "That's how it's done." Along with the manipulativeness of it, I also regard it as a fashion statement, just as televangelists for a long time seemed to have a social requirement of the women having big hair, and the men having dishwasher-safe hair.

[florduh]

It's a verbal manipulation technique that can be learned, but I think it probably comes naturally to most preachers.

 

It's also theater and I imagine many performers deliberately mimic the successful charlatans who employ it.

[★ Citsonga ★]

You know what bothers me more than the whispering? The yelling preachers who have to add an "uh" at the beginning and ending of every screamed clause between breaths. You know, something like this:

 

"God almighty-uh, uh-sent an angel down-uh, uh-to guard the entrance-uh, uh-to the garden-uh!"

 

Now that shit REALLY annoys me!

[Petrel]

Fuck it here is a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7_yicrhEp8

What is that woman doing preaching?? Doesn't she know women can't preach? I hope there aren't any men in that audience.

 

I listen to Christian radio too, but more trying to figure out how I could have believed all that crap. It used to make sense to me, at least the times when I wasn't feeling vaguely embarrassed! Now I listen to it and am amazed.

 

The jargon's the worst. If I'm scanning through the stations and hear someone say "come alongside", I know it's a Christian radio station. I'm getting so tired of hearing that every time I run across one of those stations that I now think "fire a broadside and board 'em!"

[Dagan]

The jargon's the worst. If I'm scanning through the stations and hear someone say "come alongside", I know it's a Christian radio station. I'm getting so tired of hearing that every time I run across one of those stations that I now think "fire a broadside and board 'em!"

That was great! The mental picture is priceless.

 

I loathe "Christianese."

 

Lawd I just wanna come alongside my brother in Christ here so we can agree together in prayer, and if it's your will, please bring vague, undetermined and unspecific healing into his life! Amen! Praise Jaysus!