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Goodbye Jesus

I'm Completely Lost...


Guest Perfect Insanity

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Guest Perfect Insanity

Exactly. I've always said, "God has broad shoulders". Any god worthy of worship, were he to exist, would not be someone for us to project our human insecurities upon. Surely we've moved beyond the Greek pantheon of old, which was nothing more than a bunch of slightly glorified humans acting in a badly written soap opera.

 

An omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent god would be completely self-contained and quite impervious to our anger and quite unthreatened by our doubts. Even the Bible says, "Come, let us reason together, says the Lord".

 

Perfect Insanity appears to have been raised with an angry, insecure, pouty sort of God -- in short, a man-made one, despite strident attempts to superimpose this man-made God upon the Biblical one. Maybe if he's concerned about missing a possible Truth that includes God, he should not waste his time fearing the vengeful retribution of this child-god and rest in the fact that a truly loving, caring, compassionate god would patiently wait for him to come around. P.I. also might remember the parable of the workers -- the one where the guys who were hired at the end of the day were paid the same as the ones who had toiled in the fields ever since sunrise. And the owner of the vineyard would tolerate no whining from the ones who worked, either.

 

It would be nice to believe in an unconditionally loving God. There's not one though. Too many starving, suffering people, too much shit in the world, too many ignored prayers, especially when it comes to that. God is either not completely and unconditionally loving to everybody, or he's an impersonal type who doesn't keep up with every move we make. Or he's not real.

 

As for Hell, there are many Christian traditions that omit it altogether. Given how little the Bible actually says about Hell, it looks suspiciously like a bolted-on concept added by later generations of manipulators than something that actually belongs there. If "God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to a knowledge of the truth", then hell shouldn't be the focus of our attention anyway.

 

I can now see how wrong it is to try to scare someone into a religion. That's exactly how people play the hell card. Now that we're in the hot summer months, I've seen 3 or 4 church signs just recently that say things like "You think it's hot here, just wait" and "Hell is hotter" and etc. That's pathetic. Not only pathetic, but corny.

 

Mind you, I don't believe in the Biblical God either ... but the God that P.I. worries about is not the Biblical one.

 

What makes you say that?

 

 

Actually, the phenomenon of "waking up" right before death isn't that uncommon. When the body is truly approaching death, every fiber of your being screams, epinephrine (adrenaline) is released, crisis mode takes over and instincts to avoid death - fight or flight - kick in.

 

The effect of this is to animate the body and the mind. The mind may still be totally screwed up (drugs, hypoxia, etc.), but the centers that respond to the stimuli and hormones produce fear and panic - like the last kicks of a drowning man.

 

I'm in medicine, and I see this often enough. I can tell you that it doesn't happen to "brain dead" people, but it does happen with people in comas whether due to illness or drugs.

 

Hmm. Interesting thought, maybe that has something to do with what happened.

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It would be nice to believe in an unconditionally loving God. There's not one though. Too many starving, suffering people, too much shit in the world, too many ignored prayers, especially when it comes to that. God is either not completely and unconditionally loving to everybody, or he's an impersonal type who doesn't keep up with every move we make. Or he's not real.

My conclusions exactly. But I'm just saying, you're afraid that the God you have rejected might exist after all -- yet there are plenty of people of good conscience who are believers who would tell you that the God you've rejected isn't even the one that the Bible is trying to represent. Yes, the Bible isn't totally consistent in this regard but on balance the message is that God is love, God cares, God is slow to anger and quick to be merciful, etc. I agree that life doesn't correspond to what it would be, were God to actually care and be actively involved -- but I'm not afraid to be doubtful of a God like that. I WOULD be afraid to be doubtful of the vengeful God you seem to dread. All I'm saying is, forget that vengeful guy, he's a projection of small minded people and has no reality at all.

Mind you, I don't believe in the Biblical God either ... but the God that P.I. worries about is not the Biblical one.

What makes you say that?

Re-read my post. The God of the Bible, taken as a whole, would find your honest doubts bracing, and would not fear them and threaten you with hellfire for simply doubting. So even if you're wrong, your worries are baseless.

 

Any God worthy of the name is not simply a slightly glorified man with human insecurities amplified by bolted-on superpowers.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

 

My conclusions exactly. But I'm just saying, you're afraid that the God you have rejected might exist after all -- yet there are plenty of people of good conscience who are believers who would tell you that the God you've rejected isn't even the one that the Bible is trying to represent. Yes, the Bible isn't totally consistent in this regard but on balance the message is that God is love, God cares, God is slow to anger and quick to be merciful, etc. I agree that life doesn't correspond to what it would be, were God to actually care and be actively involved -- but I'm not afraid to be doubtful of a God like that. I WOULD be afraid to be doubtful of the vengeful God you seem to dread. All I'm saying is, forget that vengeful guy, he's a projection of small minded people and has no reality at all.

 

The nice caring one is no more real than the vengeful one.

 

Re-read my post. The God of the Bible, taken as a whole, would find your honest doubts bracing, and would not fear them and threaten you with hellfire for simply doubting. So even if you're wrong, your worries are baseless.

 

Any God worthy of the name is not simply a slightly glorified man with human insecurities amplified by bolted-on superpowers.

 

You're talking about the same God who struck a guy down for trying to catch the Ark of the Covenant when it fell. You're also talking about the God who invented laws like forcing a girl to marry her rapist. The God who had countless people slaughtered. The God who basically creates us with a certain will, that he himself hates, and blames us for being that way. The God who, depending on what sect of Christianity you're from, predestinates people to eternal suffering without a choice. The God who willfulyl hardens people's hearts so they can't believe. That God doesn't give a flying fuck about people. This "vengeful" God that I've been talking about is the Bible God.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

Whenever I start thinking about things to put on the list, I see how useless that is, because with some things, I'm unable to change. My list will end up looking like this:

 

I want to _________ by doing _________, but I can't because of _________.

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Whenever I start thinking about things to put on the list, I see how useless that is, because with some things, I'm unable to change. My list will end up looking like this:

 

I want to _________ by doing _________, but I can't because of _________.

You are nowhere near as much a helpless victim as you make yourself out to be. Unless you lose this mindset, you will get nowhere.

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You're talking about the same God who struck a guy down for trying to catch the Ark of the Covenant when it fell. You're also talking about the God who invented laws like forcing a girl to marry her rapist. The God who had countless people slaughtered. The God who basically creates us with a certain will, that he himself hates, and blames us for being that way. The God who, depending on what sect of Christianity you're from, predestinates people to eternal suffering without a choice. The God who willfully hardens people's hearts so they can't believe. That God doesn't give a flying fuck about people. This "vengeful" God that I've been talking about is the Bible God.

I'm the first to agree that the Bible is not internally consistent. Christians cherry pick what suits them. If they like bondage and discipline then they focus on the vengeful, cranky God aspect. If they like singing kum-by-ah then they focus on the sweetness and light. Or if, like yourself, they wish to be mired in self-loathing then they focus on the shaming, punishing aspect. I'm simply suggesting that you flip a different coin. In your case, maybe just go with being an agnostic but when tempted to fear that the Bible has some truth to it, choose to believe the parts of the Bible that depict a God worth your time. The parts that might make just a little bit of sense.

 

Look, P.I., I'm clearly tapped out here. I've done my best to suggest different ways to think about things. I'm clearly not reaching you. I wish I could spare you the pain and suffering you're inflicting on yourself with all this brooding and self-condemnation.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

No problem.

 

Title it "Useless List of Things I'd Like to Do, but Can't Because of OCD and Other Stuff."

 

Disclaimer 1: No hope or optimism is intended or implied in the writing of this list.

 

Disclaimer 2: I only think I would like to do these things in a very hypothetical sense, because in reality, I can't do them, and if I tried I would either not succeed or not enjoy myself at all.

 

Disclaimer 3: Writing this list has only deepened my self-loathing, anger and despair, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a itching for a fight.

 

Then, just keep it simple and write down...you know...what you would like to do if only you could do it and enjoy it.

 

1. Kayaking

2. Fishing

3. Enter Beer Pong Tournament

4. Swim with dolphins

5. Learn to play accordian

6. Do something to raise funds to contribute to (name cause/organization important to you)

5. ...etc.

 

Still looking forward to knowing more about the part of you that is not your OCD, even if he can't come out to play.

 

Ok. If it's cool with you, cool with me. You want a list, you got it.

 

I wouldn't have guessed all the outdoorsy stuff.

 

I'm not really involved in much outdoor stuff. I'm interested though, and I'd like to get into it.

 

Do you like to listen to music?

 

Definitely.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

I'm the first to agree that the Bible is not internally consistent. Christians cherry pick what suits them. If they like bondage and discipline then they focus on the vengeful, cranky God aspect. If they like singing kum-by-ah then they focus on the sweetness and light. Or if, like yourself, they wish to be mired in self-loathing then they focus on the shaming, punishing aspect. I'm simply suggesting that you flip a different coin. In your case, maybe just go with being an agnostic but when tempted to fear that the Bible has some truth to it, choose to believe the parts of the Bible that depict a God worth your time. The parts that might make just a little bit of sense.

 

I can't do that.

 

Look, P.I., I'm clearly tapped out here. I've done my best to suggest different ways to think about things. I'm clearly not reaching you. I wish I could spare you the pain and suffering you're inflicting on yourself with all this brooding and self-condemnation.

 

 

Sorry. My fault.

 

I'm not reachable in that sense. I'm sure that's self-caused, somehow.

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Guest Valk0010

 

No, I don't. But that's the thing, it's usually the Christian experiences that are hard to shrug away, because I've never heard any from other religions that are as.... something as the Christian ones are. Even though many Christian experiences and testimonies contradict each other.

 

 

I can explain this one, because i have had the same problem. Its the christian one that is hard to shake, I mean. The only explanation I can come up for myself is, that it all counter intuitive to disregard because I was raised the why I was.

 

 

 

 

No doubt. But that's different.

 

You missed the point, he is saying the human mind is really unreliable as far as events.

 

The only reason I said that was because it's been a while since I was told the story. I remember it, but the only part I was unsure about was whether or not he pointed up. I'm pretty sure he did, but I wasn't 100% positive, so that's why I said, if I remember correctly.

See there you go. You forget details, and hey the memories of the people of the gospels would have been equal if not worse to ours, even with things like rote memory and stuff consistently practices. When your dealing with humanity on recounts there is to much room for error to build a religion around it, at least for me.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

I can explain this one, because i have had the same problem. Its the christian one that is hard to shake, I mean. The only explanation I can come up for myself is, that it all counter intuitive to disregard because I was raised the why I was.

 

That plays a role in it.

 

I've never heard a similar story based off of a different belief system, though. So that too.

 

See there you go. You forget details, and hey the memories of the people of the gospels would have been equal if not worse to ours, even with things like rote memory and stuff consistently practices. When your dealing with humanity on recounts there is to much room for error to build a religion around it, at least for me.

 

I was unsure of one minor detail, big deal. It still happened, and that doesn' take away from it.

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Guest Valk0010

 

 

 

I was unsure of one minor detail, big deal. It still happened, and that doesn' take away from it.

Blegh bad time to make a good point on my part if that makes sense. I am saying memory is faulty.

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Do you like to listen to music?

 

Definitely.

In my personal experience, being creative, even in small ways, let's me see sparks of my humanity worth preserving.

 

Consider nurturing your creative side. I sometimes write music with a program called Finale, but there are other programs that allow for all sorts of musical innovations and tastes. I sometimes fiddle with art, or graphics, or videos, or sound/mashups. Then when a day comes that I can't do anything right, or the world seems to be conspiring to make me miserable, I listen, look and turn to my own creations.

 

There is nothing like seeing some simple idea come to fruition. And simple ideas blossom, and the satisfaction spills over into the rest of my world.

 

To be honest, I'm not really musically inclined, and certainly not musically educated. I'm not artistically inclined or educated either. I just know what I like to see and do, and sometimes I show it to others.

 

You do have talent. I've seen it in your writing. If you were to organize your thoughts in these threads, you would have something to be proud of. Poetry, art and music are just symbolic expressions of our prose, and powerful because of the ability to convey complex ideas with an immediacy that prose has a tough time matching.

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Guest Perfect Insanity
Do you like to listen to music?

 

Definitely.

In my personal experience, being creative, even in small ways, let's me see sparks of my humanity worth preserving.

 

Consider nurturing your creative side. I sometimes write music with a program called Finale, but there are other programs that allow for all sorts of musical innovations and tastes. I sometimes fiddle with art, or graphics, or videos, or sound/mashups. Then when a day comes that I can't do anything right, or the world seems to be conspiring to make me miserable, I listen, look and turn to my own creations.

 

There is nothing like seeing some simple idea come to fruition. And simple ideas blossom, and the satisfaction spills over into the rest of my world.

 

To be honest, I'm not really musically inclined, and certainly not musically educated. I'm not artistically inclined or educated either. I just know what I like to see and do, and sometimes I show it to others.

 

You do have talent. I've seen it in your writing. If you were to organize your thoughts in these threads, you would have something to be proud of. Poetry, art and music are just symbolic expressions of our prose, and powerful because of the ability to convey complex ideas with an immediacy that prose has a tough time matching.

 

If I had any creativity, I would.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

I can't stand it anymore. I'm sick of the obsessing over this mindfuck. This is a nightmare. It's as if everything I fear is true. It seems like everything going on in the world, especially involving Israel, confirms the Bible. I feel sick. It seems like the end is coming fast. That's depressing, Christian or non. Even if I'm a Christian, I don't have much hope for change in such a short amount of time. I won't get married. I won't fulfill any goals. I'll face the end... as this. As I am. I hate that.

 

My list:

 

I want to eat healthier, but I can't because I've been eating unhealthy fast food type shit for so long, I don't even know what I'm supposed to eat. I can't cook either.

 

I want to get away from religion, but I can't because I'm plagued with fear. That's a pattern I've figured out. If I go full speed toward Christianity, my mind plagues me with fear and doubt that it's NOT true. If I run the other direction, it plagues me with fear and doubt that it IS true.

 

I want to exercise, but I can't because some unknown health problem I can't get to the bottom of prevents me from it.

 

I want to overcome the sexual phobias that have been brought upon me, but I don't know how.

 

I want to get involved in different activities, but I can't because I suck at everything and lack the skills that I should already have by now.

 

I want to find a girlfriend, but I can't commit to a relationship until I fix the wreck that is my mind.

 

I want to be fucking happy for once, but I can't because I'm apparently immune to it.

 

I want to get hobbies, but I can't because my motivation for doing anything has been sucked away. I also lack the patience to learn much.

 

I'd like to be able to write music, do art, stuff like that, but I can't because lack the creativity and natural talent.

 

My sex drive is fucked up, maybe because of religion, maybe because of something else, but I don't know how to fix that.

 

I want to finish this list, but I can't because I'm so angry that I can't think straight.

 

Even if I had the tools I needed to do any of these things, I probably wouldn't have time, because the end is probably coming! FUCK!!!!!

 

I can't think straight.... so pissed off..... there's more.... way more, to add to this list..... but I feel sick thinking about it.....

 

I fucking know I have OCD.... It's painfully obvious now that I look back and see the signs....

 

Example of it: I want to buy an iPod, but my OCD prevents me from making a decision on whether or not to do it, based on thoughts like "What if I go back to Christianity and stop listening to music since mostly all of it is evil" or "what if owning this makes me materialistic" or "what if technology is wrong" or "what if listening to music through earbuds is bad for your hearing" and every other fucking thought under the sun. If I bought it, I might end up selling it just based on doubts of "I shouldn't have bought this" and shit. It's happened before. Fucking OCD won't let me enjoy a fucking thing. DAMN IT!

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It seems like the end is coming fast.

The human world with its billions of inhabitants and hundreds of political entities is a complex system. So is nature with its many ecosystems and species. Complex systems tend to self-heal. Every generation has been convinced it's the last or at least the worst. Yet everything keeps lurching along, with the occasional purge of a natural disaster or a political meltdown or war. It's messy and ugly but no more or less so than ever. This too shall pass.

 

I was convinced in the 1970s that world events seemed to confirm the apocalypse. It never came. Current conditions are actually better -- the Soviet Bloc has dissolved, nuclear proliferation isn't as extensive. Yes, the rise of Islam and terrorism bode ill, but no more or less than whatever bogeymen of the past did.

 

Apocalyptic sci-fi is always more popular in hard times. It's on the rise again now. Consider that most of the scenarios depicted reflect our current greatest fear: biological warfare. 50 years ago it was nuclear war. All along there's been an undercurrent of the idea that technology, especially computers, will run amok and enslave us (The Forbin Project; The Terminator, etc.) This is a great way to let off steam but none of these things ever happen. Because it's a self healing system.

 

I know I'm wasting my time telling you this but what the heck. I've always been a voice crying in the wilderness, why stop now?

I want to eat healthier, but I can't because I've been eating unhealthy fast food type shit for so long, I don't even know what I'm supposed to eat. I can't cook either.

You can make incremental changes, one at a time. Here's a simple one: buy a good quality bottled mineral water, stock your fridge with it, and quit all the sodas (and milk) if you drink them. You'll shortly find yourself a connoisseur of bottled water, will look forward to it and it will quench your thirst much better. Do this for 3 weeks and you'll never go back. You've just eliminated half the sugar in your diet, and probably all the caffeine. Voila.

 

I know, you've got a list of reasons why you can't do this. Actually they're a list of reasons you won't do it. Whatever.

If I go full speed toward Christianity, my mind plagues me with fear and doubt that it's NOT true. If I run the other direction, it plagues me with fear and doubt that it IS true.

If you're on to this then you know what you have to do. Stop the thoughts. Meditate, distract, medicate, or whatever it takes. Difficult? Yes. Seemingly impossible? Yes. Imperative? Yes. In the meantime pick some middle of the road, maybe just be your typical nominal lukewarm Christian who fits in and doesn't rock the boat, and stay with it. Pick that battle for later, when you're stronger.

I want to exercise, but I can't because some unknown health problem I can't get to the bottom of prevents me from it.

Then for now, don't. Do the water thing. Change some other habit. Work on them one at a time. The vague health problem will eventually take care of itself, most likely, from the accumulated small healthy changes. Or else it will clarify itself and you'll deal with it.

 

I lost 85 pounds. It took me 10 years. Now I have the strength to convert what's left of me into something that's more muscle than fat. I'm starting small. It will probably take another 10 years. So it goes.

I want to overcome the sexual phobias that have been brought upon me, but I don't know how.

Save that battle for later. Your penis won't fall off in the meantime.

I want to get involved in different activities, but I can't because I suck at everything and lack the skills that I should already have by now.

No one "sucks at everything" and it's never too late to acquire new skills. There are people in their 70's still acquiring new skills -- some of which they wished they'd acquired in their teens. So what else is new. Who says you "should already have by now"? That's a completely artificial thought structure.

I want to find a girlfriend, but I can't commit to a relationship until I fix the wreck that is my mind.

Then fix the wreck. Women will still be around when you've made sufficient progress, no matter how long it takes.

I want to be fucking happy for once, but I can't because I'm apparently immune to it. I want to get hobbies, but I can't because my motivation for doing anything has been sucked away. I also lack the patience to learn much.

Most of us take a half century or better to be comfortable in our own skin and content with life as it is (rather than what we wish it would be). It will come, but you can't rush it. And you needn't.

 

You already have a hobby; it's brooding. That's what's sucking away your motivation. As I said above, medicate, meditate, distract. Whatever it takes. Taking charge of (and responsibility for) your own thoughts is job #1.

I'd like to be able to write music, do art, stuff like that, but I can't because lack the creativity and natural talent.

Creativity will flow, and natural talents (you have them, same as everyone else) will surface but only when the endless chatter of your thoughts has quieted.

Even if I had the tools I needed to do any of these things, I probably wouldn't have time, because the end is probably coming! FUCK!!!!!

Do not panic, young Paddawan. You will not be that lucky. There is no end, and no other cavalry, that will ride in to save you. You must learn the Jedi mind tricks to save yourself. There is no other way.

 

Here's a final thought. Recent research suggests that intent is more useful than will. Researchers found that people who asked themselves, "will I exercise regularly?" were much more likely to exercise regularly than people who said, "I will exercise regularly". Counter-intuitive but true. The moral is, open your mind to possibilities, give yourself choice, remove "can't" and "won't" and "never" from your vocabulary, but don't bother to replace them with "can", "will" and "always". Just remove the negatives, the reasons why you can't or won't. That's all it takes.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

"The human world with its billions of inhabitants and hundreds of political entities is a complex system. So is nature with its many ecosystems and species. Complex systems tend to self-heal. Every generation has been convinced it's the last or at least the worst. Yet everything keeps lurching along, with the occasional purge of a natural disaster or a political meltdown or war. It's messy and ugly but no more or less so than ever. This too shall pass.

 

I was convinced in the 1970s that world events seemed to confirm the apocalypse. It never came. Current conditions are actually better -- the Soviet Bloc has dissolved, nuclear proliferation isn't as extensive. Yes, the rise of Islam and terrorism bode ill, but no more or less than whatever bogeymen of the past did.

 

Apocalyptic sci-fi is always more popular in hard times. It's on the rise again now. Consider that most of the scenarios depicted reflect our current greatest fear: biological warfare. 50 years ago it was nuclear war. All along there's been an undercurrent of the idea that technology, especially computers, will run amok and enslave us (The Forbin Project; The Terminator, etc.) This is a great way to let off steam but none of these things ever happen. Because it's a self healing system.

 

I know I'm wasting my time telling you this but what the heck. I've always been a voice crying in the wilderness, why stop now?"

 

I hope you're right. My environment doesn't help with these doomsday thoughts either. I need to get out of that.

 

"You can make incremental changes, one at a time. Here's a simple one: buy a good quality bottled mineral water, stock your fridge with it, and quit all the sodas (and milk) if you drink them. You'll shortly find yourself a connoisseur of bottled water, will look forward to it and it will quench your thirst much better. Do this for 3 weeks and you'll never go back. You've just eliminated half the sugar in your diet, and probably all the caffeine. Voila."

 

There's not much sugar in my diet anyway. I gotta ask, why milk?

 

"I know, you've got a list of reasons why you can't do this. Actually they're a list of reasons you won't do it. Whatever."

 

Don't be so quick to judge me. I might surprise you.

 

"If you're on to this then you know what you have to do. Stop the thoughts. Meditate, distract, medicate, or whatever it takes. Difficult? Yes. Seemingly impossible? Yes. Imperative? Yes. In the meantime pick some middle of the road, maybe just be your typical nominal lukewarm Christian who fits in and doesn't rock the boat, and stay with it. Pick that battle for later, when you're stronger."

 

You said it yourself, it's hard. Seemingly impossible. And, I won't do the whole lukewarm Christian thing. That profits nothing. I'd rather be either hot or cold. Part of the battle I'll have to save for later, but not entirely. I may not know what to believe right now (I'd say 60% of me believes in Christianity and 40% of me doesn't) but I can't just put the whole thing off, I have to make some decision now. Whether it's true or not, I'm not sure, but there are some things in the Bible and within this religion that I can't pretend to support anymore. I can't follow this religion anymore. Yet at the same time I believe there's a good chance of it being true, and also a good chance of it being false. So I guess I'm at a dilemma.

 

"Then for now, don't. Do the water thing. Change some other habit. Work on them one at a time. The vague health problem will eventually take care of itself, most likely, from the accumulated small healthy changes. Or else it will clarify itself and you'll deal with it."

 

It won't take care of itself. I've had this problem for probably a couple of years. I shake, I'm weak, I feel like shit all the time.

 

"Save that battle for later. Your penis won't fall off in the meantime."

 

Maybe not, but I'd rather solve it before I get into a "situation".

 

"No one "sucks at everything" and it's never too late to acquire new skills. There are people in their 70's still acquiring new skills -- some of which they wished they'd acquired in their teens. So what else is new. Who says you "should already have by now"? That's a completely artificial thought structure."

 

Eh, maybe.

 

"Then fix the wreck. Women will still be around when you've made sufficient progress, no matter how long it takes."

 

Life is short. Time is valuable. I don't want to waste it. What if it takes my whole life to fix myself? What if my entire life passes me by, and I look back in disappointment and disgust? I don't want that to happen. Change will happen, right now.

 

"Most of us take a half century or better to be comfortable in our own skin and content with life as it is (rather than what we wish it would be). It will come, but you can't rush it. And you needn't.

 

You already have a hobby; it's brooding. That's what's sucking away your motivation. As I said above, medicate, meditate, distract. Whatever it takes. Taking charge of (and responsibility for) your own thoughts is job #1."

 

That is not an easy thing to do. It's not as simple as that.

 

"Creativity will flow, and natural talents (you have them, same as everyone else) will surface but only when the endless chatter of your thoughts has quieted."

 

Good art is not created when you're happy and content. Good art is created when you feel like you're at the end of your rope and hopeless.

 

"Do not panic, young Paddawan. You will not be that lucky. There is no end, and no other cavalry, that will ride in to save you. You must learn the Jedi mind tricks to save yourself. There is no other way."

 

6a00cd970db9064cd5011016516b70860c-500pi.jpg

 

This isn't the religion you're looking for. Move along.

 

"Here's a final thought. Recent research suggests that intent is more useful than will. Researchers found that people who asked themselves, "will I exercise regularly?" were much more likely to exercise regularly than people who said, "I will exercise regularly". Counter-intuitive but true. The moral is, open your mind to possibilities, give yourself choice, remove "can't" and "won't" and "never" from your vocabulary, but don't bother to replace them with "can", "will" and "always". Just remove the negatives, the reasons why you can't or won't. That's all it takes."

 

Strange.

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Good art is not created when you're happy and content. Good art is created when you feel like you're at the end of your rope and hopeless.

Get started. No sense wasting time.

 

So many possibilities. Web design - free software. Create a web site for people with problems to see if anyone has any good solutions. Or just a blog to express your thoughts, concerns and opinions - kind of like a one way conversation, or you can allow feedback. That might help you to organize your thoughts about different subjects. I'm doing that now, slowly but surely, with videos. I'm really slow, and my videos are mostly for my own consumption, but perhaps it may eventually grow into something.

 

Or work with something real. 3D art made of stuff you can find around.

 

The best things are those that allow you to fiddle, observe, fiddle, observe. You get your own feedback, and things just grow. The key is to have something that you do, not something that someone tells you to do.

 

Express yourself.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

Good art is not created when you're happy and content. Good art is created when you feel like you're at the end of your rope and hopeless.

Get started. No sense wasting time.

 

So many possibilities. Web design - free software. Create a web site for people with problems to see if anyone has any good solutions. Or just a blog to express your thoughts, concerns and opinions - kind of like a one way conversation, or you can allow feedback. That might help you to organize your thoughts about different subjects. I'm doing that now, slowly but surely, with videos. I'm really slow, and my videos are mostly for my own consumption, but perhaps it may eventually grow into something.

 

Or work with something real. 3D art made of stuff you can find around.

 

The best things are those that allow you to fiddle, observe, fiddle, observe. You get your own feedback, and things just grow. The key is to have something that you do, not something that someone tells you to do.

 

Express yourself.

 

Website design, blogs, computer stuff.... not my thing.

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For all I know, I probablt have one of those uncurable muscle deterioration diseases. Seriously, fuck God.

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Website design, blogs, computer stuff.... not my thing.

But I don't know what is. I'm really not intending to make suggestions, and especially not to limit your choices.

 

Build something, paint something, get a guitar, banjo ukelele, or a camera - video or not.

 

Sometimes a picture can speak a thousand words. There are photographers in this group. I take pictures, some I think are good, but I'm no photographer.

 

I can look back and think of things I wish I had the time to have done. Cooking classes, home wine/beer making, decorating my home. There's just too much to do.

 

But, in the end, it should be your thing.

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No offense, but that just seems like a copout answer. Whether the God stuff makes sense or not, that has nothing to do with this question. It still doesn't change the fact that this doesn't make any sense either. I'm no scientist by any stretch of the imagination, but I know matter didn't spawn out of nowhere by itself.

 

Science is getting there, Dark Matter was proven to exist in 2009, there is also a what, 14 mile long particle collider that is gaining enough power to "maybe" reveal how the universe actually came about..

 

I remember posting in this thread weeks ago, I saw this up to 81 pages and I thought to myself, what the fuck? So I proceeded to read some of the more recent posts, basically everyone has bent over backwards to help you, then you pretended to leave after someone told you like it is, and then you came back to debate some more. Now you're playing the emotional trip again about losing your mind and shit. You've already lost it dude, which is why you need to stop talking about religion, get off the computer and go change your life, or just shut the fuck up.

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There's not much sugar in my diet anyway. I gotta ask, why milk?

It has a high glycemic index -- it has a good deal of sugar that's readily and rapidly absorbed by the body. It has health benefits too, of course, especially if you pay for hormone-free milk -- but I was a big milk drinker, easily a gallon a day, and it was one of the things I had to go cold turkey on. Your mileage may vary, etc.

"I know, you've got a list of reasons why you can't do this. Actually they're a list of reasons you won't do it. Whatever."

 

Don't be so quick to judge me. I might surprise you.

Then surprise me. Shit or get off the pot. I'm not judging you but I am trying to snap you out of your rut a little, that's all.

"Then for now, don't. Do the water thing. Change some other habit. Work on them one at a time. The vague health problem will eventually take care of itself, most likely, from the accumulated small healthy changes. Or else it will clarify itself and you'll deal with it."

 

It won't take care of itself. I've had this problem for probably a couple of years. I shake, I'm weak, I feel like shit all the time.

It could be anything from the muscle-wasting horror that you fear, to one of the "invisible diseases" like FM, to the accumulated effects of chronic anxiety (and I wouldn't discount that last, it can really mess you up physically). All of those things will be helped by being closer to your ideal weight, and/or in better shape. Any small step you take in that direction won't hurt and may well help, even if you have a death sentence hanging over you. So why not take a small step or two?

Life is short. Time is valuable. I don't want to waste it. What if it takes my whole life to fix myself? What if my entire life passes me by, and I look back in disappointment and disgust? I don't want that to happen. Change will happen, right now.

What if it does? Suppose you need 25 years of applied effort to get where you want to be? Is putting off starting going to help? I've spent about 35 years getting to a place in life where I'm even provisionally not living a constant, soul-sucking struggle. I'm glad I didn't wait.

 

Yeah, time is precious, and so the proper response isn't "I won't spend any amount of time on anything", it's "I won't waste time dithering, I'll get started."

"Most of us take a half century or better to be comfortable in our own skin and content with life as it is (rather than what we wish it would be). It will come, but you can't rush it. And you needn't.

 

You already have a hobby; it's brooding. That's what's sucking away your motivation. As I said above, medicate, meditate, distract. Whatever it takes. Taking charge of (and responsibility for) your own thoughts is job #1."

 

That is not an easy thing to do. It's not as simple as that.

I already acknowledged it's not easy. Nor am I suggesting that in practice it's not a lot more nuanced and complicated than my few sentences might suggest. Do. It. Anyway.

"Creativity will flow, and natural talents (you have them, same as everyone else) will surface but only when the endless chatter of your thoughts has quieted."

 

Good art is not created when you're happy and content. Good art is created when you feel like you're at the end of your rope and hopeless.

Art can be created out of things besides angst; the heroic image of the tortured artist is overrated. Such people tend to be shooting stars with no staying power.

 

Wherever art comes from it can be good or bad. My personal best art medium is writing, and I can't do it when I'm agitated. Your mileage may vary. But you say you can't do anything artistic in your present state, and then when I suggest that it will come when you're out of that state, you say that you need this state you're in to produce great art. Which is it?

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