Help...

[AshleyApathy]

Hi everyone. I literally just joined this website.. I used to be a Catholic, not a Christian per say... And I was basically a "Jesus Freak" ha. I used to go to church, attend CCD classes, made my first communion, wear crosses all the time, etc. But, when I was younger I had many questions that the CCD teachers couldn't really come up with an answer to.. Pretty much the contradictory that is spammed in the bible. I was a little kid when I asked these questions too, probably around 8 years old? Probably not even 8. Anyway, lets fast forward a bit... I ended up stopping CCD and church a few years later when my mom offered me the choice to not go anymore. I was like, "it's boring, I don't want to go anymore". And so I didn't. I still believed, I just wasn't a freak about it. Now let's fast forward some more... At the age of 17, I remember sitting in my old room, about a year or so after I moved in with my dad. And I remember just sitting there, thinking about all sorts of stuff.. (I've always been a thinker). And it randomly came to me.... There is NO god... I didn't even know what an atheist was at that point, so I didn't even know people thought like I did. No one told me about not believing in him or anything, it just came to me. And for a whole year, I was SO depressed. Granted, I had other things making me depressed, but this more so made me apathetic... Pretty much felt nothing for a whole year.. Then, it changed when I met a girl (yes a girl, I'm gay, been gay, way before her, born that way.) Moving on, she pretty much distracted me from it all. And I was fine with it for a while, didn't think about it much at all. Now, let's fast forward a bit more... NOW, I'm not fine with it again. I've been this way for over a month now. I try to distract myself, but I can only do that for so many hours in the day, and that's now way to live to just distract distract distract. When it comes down to it, I hate not having anything after this. And I KNOW there is nothing after this... I know people who died and have been revived, and they said it was just black. I know with logic there is no magic kingdom after this, that's pathetic thinking. It's a crutch. It's pathetic to think were so much better than other life that we actually go somewhere and they don't (animals and what not). I can list all the reasons there is not anything, but I'd be here for friggen hours. So there it is. I'm depressed because I feel this life is pointless. And please don't give me that clich'e where it goes "make the best of it", or any form of that, because that isn't working. I want to believe in SOMETHING, I want there to be some sort of SOMETHING after this. I really want to know about acension, if anyone knows what that is, please explain to me how to do it. Because honestly, that's the only sort of non-atheist thing that I'd be willing to try. Or something similiar to that. But I'm going to end it here... Just please, help me out here, I really can't do sh*t feeling like this....

[ShallowByThyGame]

hmm I feel like only rock can handle such a problem...

 

Forever is our today.

 

 

Or perhaps I should say... you've wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?

 

[Shyone]

I'm depressed because I feel this life is pointless. And please don't give me that clich'e where it goes "make the best of it", or any form of that, because that isn't working. I want to believe in SOMETHING, I want there to be some sort of SOMETHING after this.

 

Life isn't pointless if you've got plans. I'm trying to squeeze the most into life that I can. I've got a lot fewer years left than you do I'm sure. I'm planning trips and meals and I've got clothes to buy and...

 

Well, I'm busy as all get out. I worry about the future. Will my next move lead to financial ruin, will I be accepted back into the community I moved from, will I still be able to do what I do now.

 

Time's a wasting.

 

When I realized there was no god or heaven, I was sort of depressed for a while. I had hoped to see my mother again, but that's not going to happen. I wanted to know all of the secrets of the universe, but I won't.

 

But then, I wanted to be on American Idol, but I'm way way over their age limit. That option is dead to me.

 

Life is full of disappointments, large and small, but balanced by whatever comes next and what I can do to love, laugh and enjoy, or just work to keep it going.

 

There are stages in grieving, and I'd say right now you are at the bargaining phase. You want there to be more. You will look for this thing you hope for even though you know at some level is impossible.

 

The last phase is acceptance.

 

Whatever mystery remains for me after death is mostly related to how my particles will be reused. Even now, the water and air that has passed through my body nourishes other life, and that will likely be true after I have expired. My molecules are even now coursing through other life forms. Isn't that amazing.

 

Imagine all time speeding forward instantaneously. Until the end of time. We all get there - at the same time.

 

I don't believe in spirits, but I do believe in matter, and it is not destroyed, and it will be reorganized. You will be flowers and trees, worms and eagles, men and women, and remain part of the earth for as long as it lasts.

 

But now is the time to have fun.

[HRDWarrior]

I went through a period as well of wishing for something else after life, even reincarnation (even though I wouldn't remember this life), but I didn't find it extremely discomforting to not think of there being something else.

 

Even as a christian I thought we needed to spend a lot more time focusing on what we KNOW we have, rather than what we wish for. There are a lot of things we may wish for and never get - then there are the things we are determined to make happen, and we can. I much prefer to enjoy the life I have, to find the small things in each day that make it special, those moments when everything is perfect, and understanding how incredible that I am here to enjoy it (and I find it even more incredible without a god than with).

 

So, unfortunately, I'm probably not much help beyond suggesting that rather than worrying about it, or trying to distract yourself, instead pay attention to what you ARE doing, experiencing, seeing, smelling, feeling etc. Live in the moment, and the "future" is less of a worry. Along that same line, however, find some goal(s) that you really want to pursue, and start doing it - the challenges will help you learn to live in the moment as you deal with each new one as you work towards your goal.

[AshleyApathy]

I'm depressed because I feel this life is pointless. And please don't give me that clich'e where it goes "make the best of it", or any form of that, because that isn't working. I want to believe in SOMETHING, I want there to be some sort of SOMETHING after this.

 

Life isn't pointless if you've got plans. I'm trying to squeeze the most into life that I can. I've got a lot fewer years left than you do I'm sure. I'm planning trips and meals and I've got clothes to buy and...

 

Well, I'm busy as all get out. I worry about the future. Will my next move lead to financial ruin, will I be accepted back into the community I moved from, will I still be able to do what I do now.

 

Time's a wasting.

 

When I realized there was no god or heaven, I was sort of depressed for a while. I had hoped to see my mother again, but that's not going to happen. I wanted to know all of the secrets of the universe, but I won't.

 

But then, I wanted to be on American Idol, but I'm way way over their age limit. That option is dead to me.

 

Life is full of disappointments, large and small, but balanced by whatever comes next and what I can do to love, laugh and enjoy, or just work to keep it going.

 

There are stages in grieving, and I'd say right now you are at the bargaining phase. You want there to be more. You will look for this thing you hope for even though you know at some level is impossible.

 

The last phase is acceptance.

 

Whatever mystery remains for me after death is mostly related to how my particles will be reused. Even now, the water and air that has passed through my body nourishes other life, and that will likely be true after I have expired. My molecules are even now coursing through other life forms. Isn't that amazing.

 

Imagine all time speeding forward instantaneously. Until the end of time. We all get there - at the same time.

 

I don't believe in spirits, but I do believe in matter, and it is not destroyed, and it will be reorganized. You will be flowers and trees, worms and eagles, men and women, and remain part of the earth for as long as it lasts.

 

But now is the time to have fun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shyone, can you explain this piece a little bit more?

 

"Whatever mystery remains for me after death is mostly related to how my particles will be reused. Even now, the water and air that has passed through my body nourishes other life, and that will likely be true after I have expired. My molecules are even now coursing through other life forms. Isn't that amazing.

 

Imagine all time speeding forward instantaneously. Until the end of time. We all get there - at the same time.

 

I don't believe in spirits, but I do believe in matter, and it is not destroyed, and it will be reorganized. You will be flowers and trees, worms and eagles, men and women, and remain part of the earth for as long as it lasts.

 

But now is the time to have fun.

[par4dcourse]

Hello Ashley and welcome to the forums.

 

Don't mean to sound critical, but your OP is a touch hard to read for an old fart like me.

 

Could you clarify the question?

[Shyone]

 

 

 

 

Shyone, can you explain this piece a little bit more?

 

"Whatever mystery remains for me after death is mostly related to how my particles will be reused. Even now, the water and air that has passed through my body nourishes other life, and that will likely be true after I have expired. My molecules are even now coursing through other life forms. Isn't that amazing.

 

Imagine all time speeding forward instantaneously. Until the end of time. We all get there - at the same time.

 

I don't believe in spirits, but I do believe in matter, and it is not destroyed, and it will be reorganized. You will be flowers and trees, worms and eagles, men and women, and remain part of the earth for as long as it lasts.

 

But now is the time to have fun.

I read recently that in England, at least one molecule of water in every glass of drinking water has passed through the bladder of Oliver Cromwell. So too our very breath (oxygen, nitrogen and CO₂) is being used by other organisms even as we speak. The wind has carried our breath out over the entire planet. Carbon dioxide is fuel for plants that make flowers, fruits and branches, and it is being used even now.

 

Incidentally, a quick quote from Epicurus, an ancient Greek philosopher, "Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist."

 

After death, I envision a "timeless existence" which is not how we view existence. Time passes as in sleep without dreams, and we pass through all eternity in an instant.

 

We are made of matter, atoms and molecules, all nicely arranged and organized, but like water in a lake, it evaporates and is spread to the ends of the earth where it condenses and falls as rain to give back to plants and animals and do work on the face of the earth. "All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again."

 

The molecules of hydrogen in our bodies were made at the beginning of the universe, and as either matter or energy we will go on until the end of the universe however long it may last.

 

This is all I know: "I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live."

[AshleyApathy]

Hello Ashley and welcome to the forums.

 

Don't mean to sound critical, but your OP is a touch hard to read for an old fart like me.

 

Could you clarify the question?

 

 

Not sure if I know what OP is... But basically I'm saying I'm an atheist, and depressed due to there being nothing after this life. Everything just seems so pointless due to it. Ya know? Maybe that makes it a bit more clear.

[AshleyApathy]

 

 

 

 

Shyone, can you explain this piece a little bit more?

 

"Whatever mystery remains for me after death is mostly related to how my particles will be reused. Even now, the water and air that has passed through my body nourishes other life, and that will likely be true after I have expired. My molecules are even now coursing through other life forms. Isn't that amazing.

 

Imagine all time speeding forward instantaneously. Until the end of time. We all get there - at the same time.

 

I don't believe in spirits, but I do believe in matter, and it is not destroyed, and it will be reorganized. You will be flowers and trees, worms and eagles, men and women, and remain part of the earth for as long as it lasts.

 

But now is the time to have fun.

I read recently that in England, at least one molecule of water in every glass of drinking water has passed through the bladder of Oliver Cromwell. So too our very breath (oxygen, nitrogen and CO₂) is being used by other organisms even as we speak. The wind has carried our breath out over the entire planet. Carbon dioxide is fuel for plants that make flowers, fruits and branches, and it is being used even now.

 

Incidentally, a quick quote from Epicurus, an ancient Greek philosopher, "Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist."

 

After death, I envision a "timeless existence" which is not how we view existence. Time passes as in sleep without dreams, and we pass through all eternity in an instant.

 

We are made of matter, atoms and molecules, all nicely arranged and organized, but like water in a lake, it evaporates and is spread to the ends of the earth where it condenses and falls as rain to give back to plants and animals and do work on the face of the earth. "All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again."

 

The molecules of hydrogen in our bodies were made at the beginning of the universe, and as either matter or energy we will go on until the end of the universe however long it may last.

 

This is all I know: "I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live."

 

 

 

 

 

Not sure who Oliver Cromwell is, lol. But that's rather interesting.. Hmm.. Well the whole women and man part you mentioned earlier, your not implying re-incarnation, are you??

[par4dcourse]

Not sure if I know what OP is... But basically I'm saying I'm an atheist, and depressed due to there being nothing after this life. Everything just seems so pointless due to it. Ya know? Maybe that makes it a bit more clear.

OP is original post or original poster.

 

There's a whole fascinating life to live in the here and now.

[Shyone]

Not sure who Oliver Cromwell is, lol. But that's rather interesting.. Hmm.. Well the whole women and man part you mentioned earlier, your not implying re-incarnation, are you??

Oliver Cromwell was the cruel "Lord Protector" of Great Britain from 1653 until his death. He was particularly hated by the Irish Catholics (and still hated to this day).

 

Anyway, I'm not implying reincarnation in the sense of our unique consciousness being preserved in any fashion. Rather that our bodies will become part of other people living now and who will live in the future. If you could trace ever atom that has at any time constituted our bodies, we have billions of people inside us now and will become parts of countless more in the ages to come.

 

It may not be any consolation for someone that wants to sit for eternity on a seat of gold petting their cat, but it's how nature recycles us.

 

Gold isn't very comfortable anyway.

 

When I think of my ancestors, I think of Australopithecus, Ardipithecus and even the ancient furry animals that creeped out of the rubble left by the Cretaceous extinction. Even before them, the lizard like animals and the fish like species. It wouldn't be much fun hanging around my ancient ancestors who I never met. I'm sure their progeny would have loved their parents, and love was passed from generation to generation to the present. But aside from sharing a genetic relationship, however distant, I don't think reincarnation in the spiritual sense has any connection to reality.

 

Amazing to think that we could walk down a line of our ancestors shaking hands and very gradually see increasing amounts of hair and decreasing size of the cranial vault. "Howdy great, great, great...great granddaddy!"

 

"Ugga. OOOooo, ooo."

 

Sorry, I think I got off on a tangent.

[AshleyApathy]

Not sure if I know what OP is... But basically I'm saying I'm an atheist, and depressed due to there being nothing after this life. Everything just seems so pointless due to it. Ya know? Maybe that makes it a bit more clear.

OP is original post or original poster.

 

There's a whole fascinating life to live in the here and now.

 

 

Oh okay.

 

And true, in ways... But still feels pointless. And makes me feel scared to get close to anyone, because if something happens to them it's not like I'll see them again..

[Llwellyn]

I'm an atheist, and depressed due to there being nothing after this life. Everything just seems so pointless due to it.

 

If an afterlife is necessary to fill this life with meaning, then what is going to give the afterlife meaning? An AFTER-afterlife? If you keep waiting for the future to make the present significant, then you will wait forever without perceiving any significance.

 

If life in and of itself does not having meaning, then tacking on more of it is not going to give it meaning. 0+0=0. And if life itself has meaning, then there is no need to have a follow-on. 1+nothing=1. Truly, life is the point, and every moment of life has "eternal" value. Life occupies its own finite space in time, and that's OK. There is no need for it to clatter on forever like some kind of bezerk machine.

[Shyone]

And true, in ways... But still feels pointless. And makes me feel scared to get close to anyone, because if something happens to them it's not like I'll see them again..

I don't know how old you are, but life has taught me that I will meet and love people that I will never see again even while they are living. School friends, people at work, even my ex-wife (I hope).

 

Change is living. Just when everything is perfect, life moves on. But when things suck, life moves on too.

 

So in the end, it balances out.

[AshleyApathy]

I'm an atheist, and depressed due to there being nothing after this life. Everything just seems so pointless due to it.

 

If an afterlife is necessary to fill this life with meaning, then what is going to give the afterlife meaning? An AFTER-afterlife? If you keep waiting for the future to make the present significant, then you will wait forever without perceiving any significance.

 

If life in and of itself does not having meaning, then tacking on more of it is not going to give it meaning. 0+0=0. And if life itself has meaning, then there is no need to have a follow-on. 1+nothing=1. Truly, life is the point, and every moment of life has "eternal" value. Life occupies its own finite space in time, and that's OK. There is no need for it to clatter on forever like some kind of bezerk machine.

 

 

 

Well, it gives meaning because the people you love will always be with you. You will always see them, forever. You can be more than a mere accident of nature, too. It'd mean there's a point to all of this.

[AshleyApathy]

And true, in ways... But still feels pointless. And makes me feel scared to get close to anyone, because if something happens to them it's not like I'll see them again..

I don't know how old you are, but life has taught me that I will meet and love people that I will never see again even while they are living. School friends, people at work, even my ex-wife (I hope).

 

Change is living. Just when everything is perfect, life moves on. But when things suck, life moves on too.

 

So in the end, it balances out.

 

 

I turned 20 this past january. And well, for example.. People who are married for years and years and grow old together (they want to see them again after they die), and friends who are best friends and still see eachother all their life... That's what I was referring to.

[Franko47]

Hello Ashley and welcome to the forums.

 

Don't mean to sound critical, but your OP is a touch hard to read for an old fart like me.

 

Could you clarify the question?

 

 

Not sure if I know what OP is... But basically I'm saying I'm an atheist, and depressed due to there being nothing after this life. Everything just seems so pointless due to it. Ya know? Maybe that makes it a bit more clear.

 

 

 

Your answers lie with the question. What, you were just marking time on this dustball earth till you died and then the real good stuff would start with the afterlife ? This is the kind of nonsense that religion puts into people's minds, I suppose.

 

Why are things pointless because there's no afterlife ? Just replace that "looking forward to tomorrow" with real-time considerations. Travel, hobbies, romance, socializing, art, music, work, puppy dogs, and liquor.

 

I'm not trying to be sarcastic, just making a point, but what exactly where you going to do in the afterlife, anyway ? Was it a "I'll be happy then, cuz..." kind of idealism, or were you planning to build a mighty galactic empire ?

[Llwellyn]

Well, it gives meaning because the people you love will always be with you. You will always see them, forever. You can be more than a mere accident of nature, too. It'd mean there's a point to all of this.

 

If it would be worthwhile to spend an infinite amount of time with someone, then each small part of that time must itself be worthwhile in and of itself.

 

On the other hand, you cannot hope to see a "point" to an eternal friendship if you believe each passing day in itself was "pointless."

[florduh]

But still feels pointless.

Why does there need to be a point? What would you consider to be a valid point?

 

What is the point of dancing, dining, loving, skiing, playing with puppies, writing or reading a novel, discovering a cure for a disease, raising a child, painting a sunset, etc., yada, blah?

 

Those things and much more are what make up human life. You want to be immortal on top of all that? When I'm dead I can't miss life. Didn't worry about it before I was born and I won't be worrying about it after I'm gone. The past is gone, the future isn't known. You only have this moment - live it.

[Llwellyn]

The future is not real -- it is a figment of the human imagination, like leprechauns, giraffes, and unicorns. It doesn't exist. The only thing that will ever exist is the present moment as it is experienced. When the future really happens, you will know it as the present. That is why joy must be seized -- if at all -- in the present.

 

 

[Shyone]

I turned 20 this past january. And well, for example.. People who are married for years and years and grow old together (they want to see them again after they die), and friends who are best friends and still see eachother all their life... That's what I was referring to.

My step-mother loved my father dearly, and I love her dearly.

 

But she was married 3 times before my father, and all of her husbands have passed away. So who would be her spouse if she were in heaven?

 

Sometimes people stay friends for life, but more often friends come and go, and even loves pass away. If my ex-wife goes to heaven, I'm heading the other way just to avoid her.

 

But, lucky for me, I'm married to a wonderful woman and have been for over 20 years. After I die, do you think I want her to throw herself on my funeral pyre? I now want for her future happiness, and my death, although it will sadden her, should not keep her from living a good life, including meeting others and remarrying if she desires.

 

Life is for the living. The cruelest joke that has been played on mankind is to say, "Take your suffering and poverty and put up with it so you can have "heaven."" "Die a martyr and get 72 virgins in paradise."

 

Mankind has wanted so desperately to live longer than our allotted time that we have invented countless religions, we have sought out psychics, and we have put up with charlatans and priests to gain that which they cannot offer and for which there is no proof.

 

In some way, even Christians really know the truth. Why do you think they wear seatbelts, and why do they cry at funerals? Would you cry if your parents went to Disneyland?

 

The best thing we can do is make our lives as close to paradise as possible.

[Shyone]

Well, it gives meaning because the people you love will always be with you. You will always see them, forever. You can be more than a mere accident of nature, too. It'd mean there's a point to all of this.

 

If it would be worthwhile to spend an infinite amount of time with someone, then each small part of that time must itself be worthwhile in and of itself.

 

On the other hand, you cannot hope to see a "point" to an eternal friendship if you believe each passing day in itself was "pointless."

Let me second this and add that things are valuable which are in short supply. Life is in short supply - we only get one.

 

Treat it with respect and take care of it.

 

If gold were as common as dirt, it would be worth dirt.

[AshleyApathy]

Hello Ashley and welcome to the forums.

 

Don't mean to sound critical, but your OP is a touch hard to read for an old fart like me.

 

Could you clarify the question?

 

 

Not sure if I know what OP is... But basically I'm saying I'm an atheist, and depressed due to there being nothing after this life. Everything just seems so pointless due to it. Ya know? Maybe that makes it a bit more clear.

 

 

 

Your answers lie with the question. What, you were just marking time on this dustball earth till you died and then the real good stuff would start with the afterlife ? This is the kind of nonsense that religion puts into people's minds, I suppose.

 

Why are things pointless because there's no afterlife ? Just replace that "looking forward to tomorrow" with real-time considerations. Travel, hobbies, romance, socializing, art, music, work, puppy dogs, and liquor.

 

I'm not trying to be sarcastic, just making a point, but what exactly where you going to do in the afterlife, anyway ? Was it a "I'll be happy then, cuz..." kind of idealism, or were you planning to build a mighty galactic empire ?

 

 

 

lmao neither of those... I just wanted to spend forever with the love of my life... It just makes me feel miserable knowing i can't.

[Llwellyn]

Ah, to be 20 years old again -- bright eyed and bushy tailed... I remember when I was 20; I had such intense feelings of longing. I think feelings of longing can be easily misinterpreted. We wish the present moment and the present feeling would go on forever!

 

I remember holding my gal next to my cheek and wishing the day would never end. But the reason why I wished it would never end is NOT because the moment was pointless unless extended, but precisely BECAUSE the moment was so cherished by me. The present moment had such tremendous value, that I wished it would extend out to the horizon. Great! Embrace the longing, but recognize that the reason you have longing is only because you are experiencing the present as worthwhile. If the present were not so gratifying to you, you would have no desire for it to continue.

 

 

[AshleyApathy]

I turned 20 this past january. And well, for example.. People who are married for years and years and grow old together (they want to see them again after they die), and friends who are best friends and still see eachother all their life... That's what I was referring to.

My step-mother loved my father dearly, and I love her dearly.

 

But she was married 3 times before my father, and all of her husbands have passed away. So who would be her spouse if she were in heaven?

 

Sometimes people stay friends for life, but more often friends come and go, and even loves pass away. If my ex-wife goes to heaven, I'm heading the other way just to avoid her.

 

But, lucky for me, I'm married to a wonderful woman and have been for over 20 years. After I die, do you think I want her to throw herself on my funeral pyre? I now want for her future happiness, and my death, although it will sadden her, should not keep her from living a good life, including meeting others and remarrying if she desires.

 

Life is for the living. The cruelest joke that has been played on mankind is to say, "Take your suffering and poverty and put up with it so you can have "heaven."" "Die a martyr and get 72 virgins in paradise."

 

Mankind has wanted so desperately to live longer than our allotted time that we have invented countless religions, we have sought out psychics, and we have put up with charlatans and priests to gain that which they cannot offer and for which there is no proof.

 

In some way, even Christians really know the truth. Why do you think they wear seatbelts, and why do they cry at funerals? Would you cry if your parents went to Disneyland?

 

The best thing we can do is make our lives as close to paradise as possible.

 

 

 

Well she'd be with whichever she wants if any. And well doesn't it depress you that you can't be with the love of your life forever? That's what's really getting me down..