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Goodbye Jesus

"You think the Gospel is STUPID?"


Checkmate

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[rant on]

 

Grrr! I’m getting tired of this crap. I’m getting tired of Christians being surprised that I think their religion is just as stupid as any other religion or fairy tale.

 

A virgin giving birth to “god”, having been knocked up BY “god”, to pay for man’s “sin”, is just as stupid as an angel delivering magic glasses to enable a man to read gold plates with “god’s” OTHER gospel written on them.

 

It’s just plain STUPID! I shouldn’t have to explain myself! Don’t look at me as if I’m telling you something new! You KNOW it’s ridiculous! Even the BIBLE says that it’s foolishness. Why, then, are Christians surprised when I tell them their religion is STUPID!?

 

If Christians expect people to believe their story, they’ve got to clean it up. It’s GOT to make more sense!

 

For my money, I would believe the bible IF…the story went something like this…

 

“God loves you and wants to save you from the devil. Satan, your enemy, has poisoned you and deceives you. Satan has created a place of fiery torment that awaits you if you continue to follow him. When you get close enough to this hell, Satan will then pounce upon you like a trap-door spider and pull you in, and torment you for eternity.

 

“But GOD, the wonderful and almighty, calls out to you and is willing to rescue you from such torture, IF you will only but come to him in faith. He will protect and rescue you from the devil. Amen.”

 

Now if the devil was the enemy, and he was trying to DRAG me into hell, THEN this story would be acceptable. I could buy off on that one.

 

Unfortunately, THAT is not the story. The bible tells it THIS way…

 

“God has created ALL men with a corrupt, sinful nature (free will). And to correct HIS mistake, God has sent His son (also HIMSELF) through a virgin, to die on a cross and then be resurrected. And anyone who can convince themselves to believe this story will be saved from everlasting torment in the lake of fire that God has created. If you choose to reject this “loving” God’s offer of salvation, (saved from His mistake of creating you flawed), then He will order His angels to cast you into HIS burning pit of pain for eternity. Thank you and have a nice day!”

 

So God creates a flawed project, then comes up with an utterly ridiculous solution, that, if you fail to believe, earns you a fiery bath for eternity?

 

What kind of sick, twisted and abusive nonsense is THIS? I like MY story better.

 

If Satan was CLEARLY my enemy, and GOD was saving me from him, then I’d probably be inclined to believe. But as it stands it is GOD who is both my enemy and my “savior”? What kind of idiocy is this?!? Why should I flee to the very monster who threatens me? “Love me or ELSE!,” is God’s bumper sticker.

 

What a messed up religion. And yet Christians can’t understand how stupid it is?

 

Their “holy book” has cast their GOD as the “bad guy”! “Hello! McFly? Is anybody home? Think, McFly. Think!” This makes NO sense!

 

But what’s that, you say? The Devil IS my enemy? He prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour? (1 Peter 5:8) He’s the one who tricked Adam and Eve? (Genesis 3:13)

 

Sounds nice, but no cigar. Satan is no more in control of deception, torment and destruction than you or I. The devil is a pawn, just like Judas Iscariot. God uses Satan (1 Kings 22:20-23, Job 1:12, 2:6, 1 Corinthians 5:5), and then when He is done, Satan gets the old heave ho into the flames with the rest of us (Revelations 20).

 

Contrary to popular fiction, Satan is NOT sitting on some throne in hell, commanding his demons to torture everyone. Satan is supposedly a spirit of the world (Ephesians 2:2), dedicated to “evil”. And in the end, Satan along with his devils and us “sinners”, will be ceremoniously chunked into the Lake of Fire, by God’s angels, to burn and be tormented for eternity. (Where the worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. Mark 9:44, 46, 48. How lovely!) NO ONE is in charge of Hell, except GOD! God created it (Matthew 25:41). God uses it. Hell/Gehenna is where He incinerates all His trash.

 

So please, spare me your sophistries that claim that Satan is the “threat”. It is God who creates. It is God who deceives. It is GOD who does all the punishing. Ergo it is GOD who is the Enemy, not the devil.

 

Don’t approve of my conclusions? Too bad. I got it from THE “holy bible.” Deny it if you must, but you’re only proving how dishonest you are. One does NOT need to be “filled with the Holy Ghost”, nor to be a seminary trained bible scholar to read the truth. The words are plainly written.

 

“God” created a flawed product (man), set us up for failure (The Garden and the serpent and the Tree), and NOW He wants to punish us for being what He KNEW we would be--“sinners”. And if we can’t bring ourselves to “love” this divine tyrant (Luke 19:21-27), and his dubious solution to the problem HE created (John 3:14-18), “God” hardens our hearts (Romans 9:16-23), and sends us a strong delusion (in the guise of Satan) so that we may believe the lie (2 Thessalonians 2:9-12, Romans 1:24-28), and he speaks in parables so that we may not understand (Matthew 13:10-13), and THEN He is going to punish and torture us forever for OUR “sins” (Luke 12:5, Revelation 20). Wow. What a “loving” God you Christians serve. {sarcasm}

 

So THAT is the “Good News” of God in a nutshell. (Emphasis on NUT.)

 

And you Christians take pride in believing THIS?!? You think you’re somehow “blessed” by “God” to be able to accept this “truth”? (1 Corinthians 1:21-28) How sad.

 

May I NEVER be so “blessed” ever again!

 

[/rant off]

 

I had to get that off my chest. I'm done now.

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Almond to that!

 

:notworthy:

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Well, now, we have to give the Christians their due. If they would have been able to make it up all at once -- you know, with focus groups, etc., -- it would be a lot more palatable, and coherent.

 

You know, Satan could be more like that cousin Bob we all have, who drinks too much, and never gets a job, but who knows all the "right places" to get the "things you want." Creator-God could still be the big cheese, like a really mean grandpa, and could still punish us for hanging around with Cousin Bob, but he'd still love us and wouldn't lock us out of the mansion. Heck, even Cousin Bob would be invited over for the holidays, and would even be able to redeem himself if he found work and got a haircut.

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Well, now, we have to give the Christians their due.  If they would have been able to make it up all at once -- you know, with focus groups, etc., -- it would be a lot more palatable, and coherent. 

I'm not willing to excuse them. They KNOW their religion is false, predicated on forged texts and myths. (It was the Catholics who first coined the phrase "pious fraud".) They only refuse to change things because they have so much CASH and POWER invested in this corrupt system. I'm not willing to be charitable to scoundrels.

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They KNOW their religion is false, predicated on forged texts and myths.

 

Do they? If they are as brainwashed as I was when I was a kid, chances are they don't.

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So right, Amethyst. Its the higherups that most likely do know the truth..and perpetuate the fraud on the sheeplings..

 

And doesn't it sound nice in the beginning? You can be free! Free of those sinful things you do! NOW you can be worthy..but, you gotta believe it just so, never doubting, never questioning, or you're out the door..

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So right, Amethyst.  Its the higherups that most likely do know the truth..and perpetuate the fraud on the sheeplings..

Oh for sure, the sheep are led astray, but those IN CHARGE? Those who have knowledge of church history and bible canon formation? What's THEIR excuse?

 

I was completely malleable as a sheep, but once I learned the truth, while studying to become a pastor, I could not in good conscience perpetuate the lie. I couldn't deceive anyone, just to make a buck and maintain the status quo. I don't understand how people can keep building upon the false foundations of Christianity KNOWING church/bible history.

 

"O what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive."

 

If things have gotten out of hand, they've only themselves to blame.

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[rant on]

A virgin giving birth to “god”, having been knocked up BY “god”, to pay for man’s “sin”, is just as stupid as an angel delivering magic glasses to enable a man to read gold plates with “god’s” OTHER gospel written on them.

 

[/rant off]

 

I had to get that off my chest.  I'm done now.

 

You have some great points, but the glasses comment made my day. Thanks Grinch.

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For my money, I would believe the bible IF…the story went something like this…

You would? Although that story is a bit nicer, would you be any less skeptical of its validity? I guess the reason I disbelieve the Bible is not so much because God seems like a bad guy, but because it has no basis in objective reality. A nicer story would be great, but I still couldn't believe it without some type of supporting evidence.

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In reality, money is their god. See, from my experiences, this is what went on.

 

1) Please come to church...yada yada.... and you finally do after months of being hounded

2) Oh Jesus loves you sooooooo much no matter what you have done.... you can be free from sin...saved from hell (you know the place where they DON'T give you marshmellows and sing camp songs)

3) Oh good, you have accepted the free gift of salvation

4) Oh, you have to be here EVERY Sunday, now that you are a new convert...learning the bible is very imporatant...satan will be after you more than ever now...so you must stay within the fold...

5) Oh yes, you must give 10% of your income! If you don't, remember satan, the guy that is after you big time right now? Well he will have you if you don't. It belongs to god so if you do not give it back, you are a thief! But if you give to god, he will give you even MORE than what you gave to him!

6) Oh yes, offerings are DIFFERENT from tithes! Those are required too!

 

No one would ever convince me that it is not about the money....and the higher ups know EXACTLY what they are doing. I have found that they are the biggest cons know to man...and yet they put someone away for conning money out of people for other things...why are these people getting away with it? Benny Hinn is a good example. He is living high off the hog on the money that is given to the church and people STILL chose to follow him and give him money to heal them.... *UGH* I don't get it.

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Nice rant, Mr. Grinch!

 

I have felt about the same, as you have expressed yourself here, on many occasions. I used to ponder the reasons why ANYone could believe such ridiculous drivel as being literally true. Although your "nicer" version may appear to be a more plausible rendition, I'm afraid I'll have to go along with Mike D and nix that version, as well. My thinking on this is... if God is supposed to be THE ultimate deity, as in the top dog, the big cheese, and the main honcho... and if God IS the definition of Love and the source of EVERYthing... and if God incorporates allllllll of that other ethereal omni stuff... why would God ever (in God's "supposedly" infinite wisdom) create a muppet like Satan in the first place?!?! I'd sooner believe the "single bullet theory" than to embrace most of the literal interpretations of the holey babble. :eek:

 

 

A virgin giving birth to “god”, having been knocked up BY “god”, to pay for man’s “sin”, is just as stupid as an angel delivering magic glasses to enable a man to read gold plates with “god’s” OTHER gospel written on them.

 

I'm not sure if you were intending to inject humor by using the "glasses" ploy, but in reality I think the actual devices that the "Angel" Moroni instructed Joseph Smith to use as a translation tool were far more outlandish than mere glasses. A "seer stone" and a hat!?!? :Doh:

 

http://www.mrm.org/multimedia/text/seer-stone.html

 

Again... nice rant! I enjoyed it! :grin:

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Guest Pastor Buck

Great moment in history.

 

Hey Joe I'm pregnant with God's baby.

Oh thats great dear!

When do I get laid?

 

 

"God told me unless I have more than one wife I can not make it to a higher heaven." Joe Smith

That's great dear I'm tired of having sex with you anyway.

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You would?  Although that story is a bit nicer, would you be any less skeptical of its validity?  I guess the reason I disbelieve the Bible is not so much because God seems like a bad guy, but because it has no basis in objective reality.  A nicer story would be great, but I still couldn't believe it without some type of supporting evidence.

Nah, not really. I still couldn't join any religion, but I suspect that my arguments against them would be lessened IF they would prune the poisoned fruit from the branches.

 

People who today call themselves agnostics and deists don't really have a problem believing in "God" per se, it's just the RELIGIOUS idiocy that troubles them. Correct the stupid and offensive religious dogma, and many people who left Christianity probably would still be in church today.

 

Let's face it--there's nothing inherently wrong with belonging to a group of people who believe in a fairy tale. (Any Trekkies out there?) It only becomes "wrong" when the fantasy intrudes upon reality and life MUST be lived according to the "Rules of Federation Space", or what have you.

 

All I'm trying to say is that IF Christianity would clean up its act, then they wouldn't have to spend so much time spin doctoring and apologizing for what they KNOW to be wrong, and people like ME would have less to bitch about.

 

Wouldn't make it any more TRUE, only less offensive.

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Nice rant, Mr. Grinch!

......snipped.......

I'm not sure if you were intending to inject humor by using the "glasses" ploy, but in reality I think the actual devices that the "Angel" Moroni instructed Joseph Smith to use as a translation tool were far more outlandish than mere glasses. A "seer stone" and a hat!?!?  :Doh:  

 

http://www.mrm.org/multimedia/text/seer-stone.html

 

Again... nice rant! I enjoyed it!  :grin:

Yeah, I was just winging it with the glasses bit. Although that IS what I was taught to believe about Joe Smith when I was a Christian, I subsequently learned the "real story" about the "seer stone and the hat". That's even funnier! In my haste to rant I simply forgot about the latter "truth". (LOL) Thanks for the reminder.

 

Ah well. It's STILL funny! :lmao:

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I am a Trek fan, but I don't take Star Trek literally. That would be moronic. Actually, some of the Vulcan priniciples -- for example, infinity diversity in infinite combinations -- I happen to like. And living life rationally isn't a bad choice, but I could never be completely emotionless. I'm a human being, not a robot.

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I'm not willing to excuse them.  They KNOW their religion is false, predicated on forged texts and myths.  (It was the Catholics who first coined the phrase "pious fraud".)  They only refuse to change things because they have so much CASH and POWER invested in this corrupt system.  I'm not willing to be charitable to scoundrels.

 

I think, that Christian ministers can be divided into two groups. Some ministeres are just as decieved as their sheeps, and then there are those who very well know what it is all about. Those who know the truth about their faith (and I think it is the majority of the ministers) should not be excused.

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