scotter Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Dear female forum members, In a relationship (dating, boyfriend-girlfriend, married, living together…..), how do you, personally speaking, expect the guy should treat the girl? For example, if the girl gets rough or speaks loud (it may not be the girl’s fault you know, girls are affected by body cycles), and the guy is like, “Since she is a woman, I concede. I just deal with it coolly.” But then the guy, in thinking “…..since she is a woman”, does it already suggest he is looking at her as somewhat inferior so he concedes? In this example, would you rather the guy treats you, speaks to you on equal terms because he honestly, sincerely treats you as equal? (I don’t mean abuse or violence) Which, in his terms, he has great respect for you and does not look at you as inferior as to grant you a favor to concede? Or, Like when the couple goes out to a restaurant, you would like him not to treat things equally that he picks up the tab? So it comes down to three options: 1) You always like him to treat you on equal terms 2) You always like him to treat you nice (maybe he is a knightly gentleman, maybe he just thinks that woman is somewhat inferior, we don’t know) 3) It really depends on situations. You like to have it both ways where it applies best. Male members’ cents are of course welcomed. Thank you for you help! Scotter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Java Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Hmm. If I bap Evan upside the head I fully expect a bap back, or a tickle, or a submission hold, depending on severity of the initial bap. It's only fair. If he plays the knight-in-shining-armor I make sure I play the very-very-very grateful damsel later on. It's only fair. It's not as if women can't be knights-in-shining either. So I like to play as equals when it's all averaged out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 i expect the guy to (usually) pick up the tab. unless, of course, i ask *him* if he wants to go out to eat. which i rarely do. besides, i view it as one of the few perks of being female. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkenmoon Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 If I am acting like a poop, then I would like whoever I am with, male or female, to tell me so. Don't just take it. I just ask you do it in a kind way. =) It benefits us both. I like the person I'm with to treat me nice. BUT I like to treat them right. Basically it's a 2 way street. I might pick up the check sometimes... they might pick it up other times... and other times we might go dutch. It's what works for you. But I prefer a nice relationship where both people are treated as equal parts of the relationship... how that works out with picking up checks, holding doors, whatever is up to the individuals =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reach Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 Scotter, your questions are good ones and they indicate to me that you truly want to get this thing right, not hurt people in the process, but not be misused yourself and obviously, you have a heart to please women. I think that's highly commendable. Too many men never quite figure that one out while others see it as a no-brainer. I'm not sure what your age is but based on your astute observations, this is probably the kind of direction you're likely to take. I want to toss this out for you to think over, ok? If you really come to see a woman as equal to you and worthy of your respect, you will treat her properly and even more than that, you will treat her well because you value her. You will hold her in high esteem. In a nutshell, if you get your mind set correctly in this area, the correct kinds of behavior will naturally flow from the right core attitudes. You will be more sensitive to her changing emotional requirements and you will understand when concessions are in order. From my own personal experience, and from having intimate friendships with more than my share of male friends, I've seen that the men who enjoy the most success in either long or short term relationships with women are those men who value women the most. This also I know to be true: It is next to impossible to scorn a man who truly cherishes me. Or, to put it another way, women love men who adore women. My objective is for the man I love to expect the same kind of thing from me, respectful, considerate and loving treatment. Love is the higher principle here. And the person with the money in his/her pocket gets to pay the check. Forget the two cents. That was worth a nickle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dianka Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 First of all, I would like to say that men and women will never be equal. It's not that either is lower or higher on any scale, the sexes simlply react to daily life as if they exist in two completely different dimensions. Many times my opinions differ from someone else's simply becaus they are a man, and I am a woman. There are two ways of dealing with our differences: 1.) Completely ingore the other sex's opinions and actions if they differ from yours (unless they believe or do something that is potentially dangerous to you). 2.) Do not disclose every little opinion or thought that runs across your mind to the other sex. The second seems to fit your situation because the woman is "moody" and you are wondering whether it is best to be quiet or be truthful about how their mood affects you. I IMPLORE YOU TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! People in good relationships always say that each person has to compromise. This does not mean composing a 700 page resloution that both parties agree on. In reality, most of the compromising that we all have to do as members of a couple is simply shuttng up and going along with something that displeases you. Any couple can fall apart as a result of differences, the key is to find the person who's differences are acceptable. In conclusion, I would like to repeat that if something upsets us about our mates, and it is not dangerous to us (or our kids) maybe we should consider laying down the egos and being quiet. We are, after all, our own people not appendages that can be manipulated by our others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeccasStillSeeking Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Dear female forum members, In a relationship (dating, boyfriend-girlfriend, married, living together…..), how do you, personally speaking, expect the guy should treat the girl? Scotter <{POST_SNAPBACK}> M'nuzzle and I are just two people who love each other. Traditional sex roles and the status conveyed by such are fucking bunk; we are equals by nature, and treat each other as such. If I say something that upsets him, of course I want to hear about it, because I care about him. We're both considerate of each other as much as possible, not because one considers the other helpless or vice versa, but just because that's how we feel about each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 Male members’ scents are of course welcomed. Scotter Why would you be interested in the scent of our male members? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sokudo Ningyou Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 I would be pleasantly happy with a guy who understands and has no problem sharing. As in, paying for the bill if he wants to, but I'll pay the tab, or we'll split it, or vice versa, and if he decides to pay for all of it, he doesn't come back later on whining that he "pays for everything" when he damned well chose to do so. Ahem. Just be considerate, really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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