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Guest Justyna

Im A Christian Again

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Guest Justyna

Well I decided to leave the church and God when I first joined this site about a year ago or so. I wanted to be free from everything, I wanted to think of myself, I wanted to live the way I saw it fit. Well I did. I really didnt go off the rails or anything, but I stopped going to church for a while, stopped reading the Word and just did what I wanted. I used bad words, I saw bad movies, I said what I wanted and did not aplogize. It wasa all good in the beginning. I was determined to "break-free." But after a while I felt empty, I felt like my life had no meaning, and I longed for God again. I gave it a long time. I tried to be in a relationship, I tried to focus on my studies, I tried to go out and socialize and it all didnt do anything for me. I was wondering, all over the place. I wasted my time and resources. I was in want of something deeper, and I felt weary from searching all the day.

 

God never let me go. Through it all, He has been here just waiting for me to come back. I started goin to church again, reading the Word again, and spending quality time with Him. It was what I needed. I never felt better. My life is not perfect but I am starting to get happy again. I dont understand why I had to go through that, but I did. I was so determined to leave God, but He didnt let me.

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Guest Valk0010

Well I decided to leave the church and God when I first joined this site about a year ago or so. I wanted to be free from everything, I wanted to think of myself, I wanted to live the way I saw it fit. Well I did. I really didnt go off the rails or anything, but I stopped going to church for a while, stopped reading the Word and just did what I wanted. I used bad words, I saw bad movies, I said what I wanted and did not aplogize. It wasa all good in the beginning. I was determined to "break-free." But after a while I felt empty, I felt like my life had no meaning, and I longed for God again. I gave it a long time. I tried to be in a relationship, I tried to focus on my studies, I tried to go out and socialize and it all didnt do anything for me. I was wondering, all over the place. I wasted my time and resources. I was in want of something deeper, and I felt weary from searching all the day.

 

God never let me go. Through it all, He has been here just waiting for me to come back. I started goin to church again, reading the Word again, and spending quality time with Him. It was what I needed. I never felt better. My life is not perfect but I am starting to get happy again. I dont understand why I had to go through that, but I did. I was so determined to leave God, but He didnt let me.

well good luck to you.

 

Did you ever read about or look for evidence in regards to Christianity or was it just a emotional thing.

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Well I decided to leave the church and God when I first joined this site about a year ago or so. I wanted to be free from everything, I wanted to think of myself, I wanted to live the way I saw it fit. Well I did. I really didnt go off the rails or anything, but I stopped going to church for a while, stopped reading the Word and just did what I wanted. I used bad words, I saw bad movies, I said what I wanted and did not aplogize. It wasa all good in the beginning. I was determined to "break-free." But after a while I felt empty, I felt like my life had no meaning, and I longed for God again. I gave it a long time. I tried to be in a relationship, I tried to focus on my studies, I tried to go out and socialize and it all didnt do anything for me. I was wondering, all over the place. I wasted my time and resources. I was in want of something deeper, and I felt weary from searching all the day.

 

God never let me go. Through it all, He has been here just waiting for me to come back. I started goin to church again, reading the Word again, and spending quality time with Him. It was what I needed. I never felt better. My life is not perfect but I am starting to get happy again. I dont understand why I had to go through that, but I did. I was so determined to leave God, but He didnt let me.

 

Fine, but some of us didn't leave to 'break free' - I no longer believe simply because I can't. If 'god' wouldn't let YOU leave, why would 'he' let the rest of us?

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Meh.

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Guest Justyna

I did some research. I was on this site and of course I did other research online as well. What I found was interesting but it was not enough to convince me otherwise. And believe me I tried. I wanted to leave, I was running as quickly away from anything Christian.

 

I am back at a new church and it is good. Its not perfect though. I mean I do see some people acting like hypocrites which was one of the reasons I did not like going to church, but what I learned is that I should not let other people determine my destiny. Yes some Christians are hypocrites, this is true, but some are not. Some are good people who walk the walk etc. Im also not responsible for what other people do. I am responsible for what I do.

 

I guess my re-conversion was emotional because human logic is nothing compared to Gods wisedom. Im not trying to re-convert others or anything..lol, I am just sharing my story and my journey to this point.

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I wanted to leave, I was running as quickly away from anything Christian.

Most who leave the religion don't want to, but belief becomes impossible to maintain in the face of knowledge, reality and logic. Most do not leave in order to "sin" or to escape "hypocrites." We leave because it is an unsupported, false, superstitious belief.

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Guest Justyna

BDP--

 

 

You said: "If 'god' wouldn't let YOU leave, why would 'he' let the rest of us?" (Sorry I am not the best with quoting things)

Well I think SOME of the people here will return to God oneday as I did. Not everyone, but some will. Even if it has been years since they were Christians, they can come back. I believe some will like me.

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BDP--

 

 

You said: "If 'god' wouldn't let YOU leave, why would 'he' let the rest of us?" (Sorry I am not the best with quoting things)

Well I think SOME of the people here will return to God oneday as I did. Not everyone, but some will. Even if it has been years since they were Christians, they can come back. I believe some will like me.

 

 

I don't.

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Well, hope you find what you're looking for, and if you have to, find it in Christianity.

 

Even though I'm an atheist myself, If you don't really want to be a Christian, don't be.

 

You can still believe in God without believing in a doctrine. I have friends who do so- they believe in Gods or Goddesses and have their own rituals to commune. God would certainly not be confined to the teachings of 2,000 year-old self-proclaimed 'holy men', written in a book filled with contradictions and hypocrisy and bigotry.

 

But you should never be ashamed of being human. Only do what feels right to you, don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to, thinking it's what you 'should' do. (that goes both ways: don't force yourself to attend church and be uncomfortable, and don't force yourself to 'rebel' and act out, either. Do what comes naturally to you)

 

I'll take from my signature to end up my little monologue *cough*

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

Buddha

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I did some research. I was on this site and of course I did other research online as well. What I found was interesting but it was not enough to convince me otherwise. And believe me I tried. I wanted to leave, I was running as quickly away from anything Christian.

 

I am back at a new church and it is good. Its not perfect though. I mean I do see some people acting like hypocrites which was one of the reasons I did not like going to church, but what I learned is that I should not let other people determine my destiny. Yes some Christians are hypocrites, this is true, but some are not. Some are good people who walk the walk etc. Im also not responsible for what other people do. I am responsible for what I do.

 

I guess my re-conversion was emotional because human logic is nothing compared to Gods wisedom. Im not trying to re-convert others or anything..lol, I am just sharing my story and my journey to this point.

 

... I personally do not believe you ever deconverted in the first place! Maybe in the words of a "true" christian you became a backslider ... but deconverted? No!

 

It is IMPOSSIBLE to go back to believing in Santa Claus once you KNOW Santa Claus does not exist! Could YOU go back to believing in Santa?? Honestly could you??

 

I always find people who try deconverting because of some rebellion thing often do go back to christianity! Their reasons for deconverting are purely not likely to be permanent and are shallow!! TRUE deconversion has nothing to do with running away from god ... rebelling, sinning or whatever! The day a person accepts the STARK FACT the christian god does NOT stack up is when permanent problems exist for reconversion! Every day I live my life that realisation becomes further ingrained especially as science and reason puts the xtian god further in his TRUE mythological man-made place!

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Guest Valk0010

I did some research. I was on this site and of course I did other research online as well. What I found was interesting but it was not enough to convince me otherwise. And believe me I tried. I wanted to leave, I was running as quickly away from anything Christian.

 

I am back at a new church and it is good. Its not perfect though. I mean I do see some people acting like hypocrites which was one of the reasons I did not like going to church, but what I learned is that I should not let other people determine my destiny. Yes some Christians are hypocrites, this is true, but some are not. Some are good people who walk the walk etc. Im also not responsible for what other people do. I am responsible for what I do.

 

I guess my re-conversion was emotional because human logic is nothing compared to Gods wisedom. Im not trying to re-convert others or anything..lol, I am just sharing my story and my journey to this point.

 

... I personally do not believe you ever deconverted in the first place!

 

It is IMPOSSIBLE to go back to believing in Santa Claus once you KNOW Santa Claus does not exist! Could YOU go back to believing in Santa?? Honestly could you??

 

I always find people who try deconverting because of some rebellion thing often do go back to christianity! Their reasons for deconverting are purely not likely to be permanent and are shallow!! TRUE deconversion has nothing to do with running away from god ... rebelling, sinning or whatever! The day a person accepts the STARK FACT the christian god does NOT stack up is when permanent problems exist for reconversion! Every day I live my life that relisation becomes further proved as science puts the xtian god further in his mythological place!

I can relate to this, I tried to reconvert a few months back, and I survived two weeks before what I bolded made it impossible to continue, to even try convince myself its true.

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Guest Justyna

Realist--

 

Yeah I see your point that perhaps I never fully deconverted. Maybe I was being rebellious, tired of the hypocrites, and did not want to believe anymore. Whatever it was, I did not want to be a Christian anymore. I found everything wrong with it and hated it. Now I am back again. Again, I am just sharing my journey, and being honest. Nothing more.

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Guest Justyna

Realist--

 

But cant the same be said about True Christians that convert to being a Christian the first time? That it would be impossilbe for them to deconver in the first place if they saw the TRUTH about God? I am just making a point since you said it is impossible for someone that has come to know that God is not real to believe in Him again. WHat do you think?

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Have fun! Or whatever it is you want. :)

 

Phanta

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I hope you find happiness and contentment in your journey.

 

I just hope you learned that atheists and other non-Christians are not "fools" like many a preacher / bible teacher love to say. That atheists are not immoral/amoral monsters. And that just because your life felt empty during your ex-c "phase," that does not mean that the life of every non-Christian and atheist is bereft of meaning, purpose or good times.

 

In short, I hope you don't start seeing non-christian humans in the caricatures that most churches draw of people who are not like them.

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Realist--

 

But cant the same be said about True Christians that convert to being a Christian the first time? That it would be impossilbe for them to deconver in the first place if they saw the TRUTH about God? I am just making a point since you said it is impossible for someone that has come to know that God is not real to believe in Him again. WHat do you think?

 

... I am not quite sure exactly what you are getting at here!

 

Deconversion IS NOT something that just usually happens overnight! GENERALLY a person does not just wake up one morning and "poof" the god need is gone! As with ANY thing that has become deeply indoctrinated in a human only time, counselling, EXTREME critical thinking, or factual evidence will be likely to remove that indoctrination!

 

Let's look how the HUGE majority of people become christians in the first place? They became such when they are in a very easily impressionable position. Those positions are likely to be one of the following. They are born into that religion. Indoctrination is from birth, so naturally that child grows into what they have had rammed down their throats as FACT. Fear (as in hell) can be a huge part of that indoctrination. The other time christianity can work is in adults who are at a crisis or traumatic stage in their lives. A person may have had a child killed? A marriage break-up? This is a time that current christians are very cunning at providing help to such a person and naturally humans needing such human support can be lured into such a snare.

 

I personally believe clear thinking individuals who have never been brought up around christianity in First World countries and NOT in impressionable postions are VERY unlikely to be christian converts!! One just does not pick the bible up one day as a clear thinking adult when doing some light reading, and feel the power of god speaking to them!! I think if one could get "honest" statistics on how a person became a christian, they would without doubt confirm what I am saying.

 

See, neuroscience is currently heavily involved in work on this subject and has provided factual evidence why some people are better adapted for god belief than others. I think you also should read this link below. It well explains why bad beliefs hang around in humankind!

 

http://www.csicop.org/si/show/why_bad_beliefs_dont_die/

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Sorry babe you were never an ex-Christian to begin with then...good luck to you though

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Guest Justyna

Realist--

 

I was NOT raised in a Christian environment, I grew up in the US, and my childhood was pretty normal if you ask me. I became a Christian when I was 12...just like that, for no real reason. But I remember hearing God's voice and feeling His pressence when I was just 3 years old...and no once again my parents are not Christians. I am the only Christian in my entire family. In fact my dad is a very very strong atheist and believes I was brainwashed etc. How do you explain that?

 

I read through the link you provided (briefly) and it was an interesting read. But what if you are wrong? What if there is a hell? That is NOT the reason I am a Christian again, but do you ever think you are wrong and you are being decieved? I have nothing to lose by being a Christian, only everything to gain. If I am wrong, oh well, I will die and nothing will happen. BUT what if you are wrong and you die and go to hell like the Bible says? It will be too late. This is not to scare you or anything (I dont believe in that) I am just asking a question.

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I can't seem to believe that you were an exChristian. So you used bad words and saw bad movies. Whatever that means. OOOHHH! You know, if you think that drinking and cussing and watching movies is somehow going to make you grow as a human being, I think you are way off base. That is not and never has been a satisfying life for me personally. [Although I do like to cuss a bit and I love my cigarettes].

 

I think you were just being a backslider and trying to be a bad girl. Not that I care since I don't know you personally but maybe you could try reading, studying, having open minded friends with goals, camping, hiking, fishing. There is a whole list of healthy and satisfying activities available, you just have to find what interests you.

 

I absolutely love gardening and I have found I have quite an interest in religions. Also, helping people when I am able to is very nice. Keeps me from thinking I am the most important person in life. Other people have problems issues, joys and sorrows, too.

 

I have converted from the Christian god and gone all the way to atheism but it definetely took a period of time. I think that if you decide the Evil Biblegod is not to your liking that you should consider doing some more research. You are not locked into that religion if you do not want to be.

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But after a while I felt empty, I felt like my life had no meaning, and I longed for God again.

 

Earlier this week someone asked me if 'believing' in evolution was 'fulfilling' for me. I told him that my sense of personal fulfillment has no bearing on whether or not a theory works.

 

Being an Ex-Christian, I do suffer sometimes from an emptiness that faith and ecstatic Pentecostal experiences used to fill. There is also an emptiness that used to be filled by a built in social group -- a social group I now have trouble taking seriously, or even respecting. But I know I'd feel empty AND disgusted with myself if I tried to go back. My brain's pleasure/reward sensors are pretty much ruined due to my overly ecstatic Pentecostal experiences, and I have trouble taking pleasure in life. But, I CAN'T go back. The Bible is a lie. Bottom line.

 

We've been endowed by Existence itself with a brain and a conscience. And fuck anyone who expects me to give those things up for a leather-bound stack of rice paper. My mind and heart is the closest anything will come to 'holy ground.' Desecrating it with the expectation that anything Abrahamic should be taken seriously will cause no lesser a reaction from me than the worst punishment you can imagine Jehovah dishing out.

 

I now wear the badges 'Ex-Christian' and 'Ex-Pentecostal' with a survivor's pride. You come off as nothing but a coward and I'm ashamed to exist on the same planet as you.

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"Im A Christian Again I made a mistake"

 

No, you followed your heart. You can't change who you are, but situations and experience change you.

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That's just too funny for congratulations. Honestly, who cares?

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Realist--

 

I was NOT raised in a Christian environment, I grew up in the US, and my childhood was pretty normal if you ask me. I became a Christian when I was 12...just like that, for no real reason. But I remember hearing God's voice and feeling His pressence when I was just 3 years old...and no once again my parents are not Christians. I am the only Christian in my entire family. In fact my dad is a very very strong atheist and believes I was brainwashed etc. How do you explain that?

 

I read through the link you provided (briefly) and it was an interesting read. But what if you are wrong? What if there is a hell? That is NOT the reason I am a Christian again, but do you ever think you are wrong and you are being decieved? I have nothing to lose by being a Christian, only everything to gain. If I am wrong, oh well, I will die and nothing will happen. BUT what if you are wrong and you die and go to hell like the Bible says? It will be too late. This is not to scare you or anything (I dont believe in that) I am just asking a question.

 

After objectively reading the bible for what it is, if the incredibly small chance the bible is right about everything Yahweh did, I'd rather go to hell than spend eternity with him. A being capable of that much evil is not good in any way, shape or form. Besides, I was a universalist before I deconverted. There is ample scriptural support for it. (More than there is for everyone going to hell imo.) But I have a question for you, what if Allah is the true god? Allah is most merciful to his people, but he is hell to the infidels. What will you do if you stand before him one day? (Here's a hint: don't think about it too much, you'll get yourself scared.)

 

Or what if god will be disappointed in you for following Christianity. By the OT standards, Jesus was a false prophet. Or what if this god is just an evil entity, who just wants to trick people into following him? This all assumes that Yahweh is real. Also, Jesus and all the disciples did miracles so that everyone would believe. In fact, the end of the book of Mark says different miracles believers will be able to do. How come it doesn't happen to anyone's knowledge? (Faith healers are all scams, and many aren't even Christians.)

 

And last of all, by believing the bible, you're really not believing "god", as god did not personally tell you that it's true, or that it's how he wants you to believed and worship. Believing the bible is just believing in the anonymous writers who wrote most of the NT, but it's not believing in god him/herself.

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I started goin to church again, reading the Word again, and spending quality time with Him. It was what I needed. I never felt better. My life is not perfect but I am starting to get happy again. I dont understand why I had to go through that, but I did. I was so determined to leave God, but He didnt let me.

 

He didn’t let you go? How do you know? Explain to me how an invisible entity had anything to do with anything in your life?

 

So god made you his little puppet? – so much for free will.

 

Absolutely bonkers!

 

God never let me go. Through it all, He has been here just waiting for me to come back.

 

Here? Where was god? Was he hiding behind the sofa?

 

You sound like a raging lunatic. You talk as if you are having a relationship with an actual entity – when in reality you erroneously attribute your own decisions to an invisible deity. God only exists in the confines of your imagination. You use the idea of a heavenly presence in your life to justify your wacky decisions and beliefs.

 

Additionally, I wrote the following (below) to another delusional christian. But with a few modifications, it greatly applies to you.

 

Isn't it just great that you are god's little special one and he used his awesome powers to intervene on your behalf, so you could feel better, while god neglects the rest of his earthly children, who at this very moment are being repeatedly raped, or suffering from some hideous disease, or suffering in ways we can't even begin to imagine......but YOU...god looks after you -- aren't you the divine jewel.

 

--S.

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