Sex and stuff

[trashy]

Well, thats all I was trying to do was get some opinions.  The reason is because a lot of people who were calling the radio station(all men) said that it was ok.

I'm gonna guess that was the local NAMBLA reps - and maybe a few priests

I agree with you all that it is not okay.  Is it different if the child is 15 or 16 years old?  Is pornography ok for them?

I can't imagine any parent who would do this, but I think it would be prudent for a parent to talk to their kid about it around puberty time. Make sure they understand what is OK, and that porn is complete fantasy. I wouldn't suggest being their supplier, but don't be surprised when they get their hands on some somewhere. I was pretty resourceful as a youth, even being a preacher's kid. I ogled images of naked women every chance I got! And now that I'm going through a 2nd childhood I am pushing the envelope.

[dario]

*snert*

 

The hardline Christian response to kids and sex seems to almost universally be "don't do it, don't ask about it, don't look at or read things involving it, it is sinful and bad and horrible and only for making babies after marriage. Oh, and you should always call this dirty act 'the baby dance' because it's ONLY for making babies."

 

Then, when the completely ignorant kid goes out and fucks and gets pregnant because they don't know any better and got what little sex ed they had from their equally ignorant friends...said Fundie parents blame who? Us, mostly.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

I would totaly disagree with this line of thinking. You are right though, some Christians do believe this. Christian children need to know more about sex and the church should be there to educate them. The churches I have been to are starting to do that. Now don't get me started on sex in marriage. Actually, do get me started. This might be the first time you hear this from a Christian on this site but I don't care. I love having sex and so does my wife. We've been married for a little over a year now and we have had sex almost every day except for some of those 'special' days. Women will understand what I am talking about when I say, special. I waited 20 years to have sex, so you better freakin believe that it was gonna be good. And it was. We're going to get real personal here for a second so I hope most of you don't mind. My wife and I had sex 6 times on our wedding night. 6 times!!! Thank God I didn't listen to my pastor when he suggested that we wait a day to have sex so that we won't be so tired after the wedding. Sex is a beautiful thing and I think it should only be experienced with your husband or wife. And no, this is not my belief because thats what the bible says. My wife and I have a very healthy sex life in which we enjoy this 'past-time' almost every day. That is until we have kids. Then I will wave good-bye to sex as it rides off into the sunset. "So long sex."

 

Brian

[Mythra]

Don't worry at 16, a kid doesn't have to wait for his dad to give it to him.

 

At nine years old, kids should be doing healthy activities like being an altar boy for the Catholic Church.

[Ouroboros]

Its something that must be taken on a case by case basis.  Yes generally 9 year olds have not reached puberty yet, but children are hitting purberty at younger ages these days.  Maybe its all the growth horomones we give to the animals we eat, who knows why. 

I'm not sure I can agree with that. The puberty age is probably pretty much unchanged. If it is true that people only lived until they were 30, 2000 years ago, and even younger before that, I'm sure evolution is slowly going the opposite way.

 

In many 3rd world countries, kids can get married when they're 12. Not even teenagers yet. And there are stories in history about kings that were kids and had kids in turn.

 

Most likely we've had a change of attitude to sexuality the last 100-200 years. We want kids to be kids and not sexual in any way. In old days, a kid was looked at as a small adult, not as innocent as we do today.

 

FWIW.

[Ouroboros]

When kids need visual aid, they'll know where to find it.  They'll start by doing it to Wonder Woman, and move on by "borrowing" the Victoria's Secret catalogues.  I wouldn't explicitly expose them to porn until I felt they had a proper sex education and were mature enough to handle it.  I'd say late teens.

Yeah, I remember as a kid. I manage to find porn withou my parents knowing it. And developed an extreme skill to hide it too.

 

I think I would be like the dad from American Pie. Sans the humiliation.

I actually try to. Not seing sex as a taboo, but also not as something that you take too casual, but serious.

[Ouroboros]

Brian

Good attitude Dario. Unfortunately my parents didn't have that attitude towards sex. They never spoke about it, but had this taboo about the subject, and mom always said "Yuk", if any hint of sexual came on TV (like seeing a breast or something). And it influenced me so much that it took many years into my marriage before I could enjoy it. I was ashamed every time, but managed to get out of the guilt eventually.

[Kryten]

When I was 12 my dad caught me with a Playboy, so as punishment he brought in a huge box of hard core and made me look at every picture!!

[Alice]

Ok that is fair.  I shouldn't have said 'christian response' because you are right, there are different responses from different christians.  In my personal opinion, I think pornography is wrong as a whole.  I don't agree with the situation with the 9 year old and I wouldn't want my kids involved in pornography.  But lets get something clear.  I was not perfect.  I was looking at my first Playboy when I was in 2nd grade.  Pornography had a hold of me for a long time.  It wasn't until a year or so before I met my wife that I decided 'enough was enough.'  And I guess I should define pornography for you in my definition of it.  I'm not just talking about Playboy magazines and things like that.  I'm talking about R-rated movies that have a sex scene, or anything with nudity in it.  And no, I don't consider art, such as the statue of David as pornography, so please don't bring that arguement up.  I wasn't looking at porn magazines, but I would rent R-rated movies for a certain sex scene or nudity.  But I'm sure you can all understand that.  I'm a Christian, and if I was caught with a dirty magazine then I would have a lot of explaining to do.  But if I was caught watching a movie, such as Road Trip, then I wouldn't have so much explaining to do because the sexual sin is not as evident.  Do you understand? 

  So that is what I think of pornography.  I will try to take every measure in preventing my children from experiencing pornography, but ultimately it is up to my child to decide whether or not they will be involved in pornography.  Even if I take every measure to keep them away from porn, they will still be able to get their hands on it.  Its a fact of life.  A fact that sucks in my opinion.

 

Dario

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Thanks for the reply Dario,

 

Definitions make all the difference! To my mind your view of pornography is very wide and encompasses material I wouldn't class as porn.

 

The intent of the adult giving a child access to porn would be my main concern. Giving a child access to porn is a much beloved method of child abusers. Not saying this is always the case but it would ring alarm bells with me.

 

In terms of the right age to give children information about sex, I'm of the view that this should be before puberty. Children are far less embarrassed and perterbed by sex at a time when discussion of the subject does not stir up their hormones! As others have said - your average porn film is not a good source of information.

 

I hope my children don't develop an interest in what I consider to be porn - not because I think it's sinful - but because the story lines are such crap and I find the images so unattractive. I hope they have better literary discernment.

 

If my parents had wanted to protect me from straying into 'sexual sin' as a teenager they would have to have censored my Jane Austen collection. Beautifully written prose and romantic tales render me rampant. I've had many a lustful thought about Mr Darcy.

 

Of course once upon a time 'good' christians wouldn't have read Austen.

[BeccasStillSeeking]

When I was 12 my dad caught me with a Playboy, so as punishment he brought in a huge box of hard core and made me look at every picture!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

O.o

 

...uh....

 

o.O

 

...um....

 

Oversaturation therapy involving a twelve year old boy (read: happy hormone bundle) and PORN?

 

Jeebus. Yeah, THAT'S gonna work....

[BeccasStillSeeking]

I would totaly disagree with this line of thinking. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Yes, but you don't strike me as particularly hardline. When I say "hardline", I mean those who are so immersed in hardcore Christian dogma that one cannot reason with them or get them to leave one alone. Perhaps there is still variance of approach to sexuality among them, but...not in my experience.

[Ouroboros]

When I was 12 my dad caught me with a Playboy, so as punishment he brought in a huge box of hard core and made me look at every picture!!

Hmm. Where did he get the box from?

 

Which proves that dads have a better collection than the kids.

[Kryten]

Hmm. Where did he get the box from?

 

Which proves that dads have a better collection than the kids.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

But seriously, he DID have a good collection and I was good at seeking out the truth!

Or I suppose I could say... Some days he came home late, and verily I say unto you, in that day what is hidden shall be revealed. He eventually got a safe.

 

But that reminds me, (now that PR is back), Jesus apparently didn't want men to desire women. You couldn't even LOOK at one with desire! The message is clear to me...

[Eponymic]

Its something that must be taken on a case by case basis.  Yes generally 9 year olds have not reached puberty yet, but children are hitting purberty at younger ages these days.  Maybe its all the growth horomones we give to the animals we eat, who knows why. 

 

While I agree, deliberatly exposing a child to porn who has shown no interest in it is wrong, but perhaps the 9 year old was asking questions about sexuality.  I think that people do a pretty poor job of teaching thier children about sex. 

 

On the other hand, Porn is not nessarally the best way to educate them, since its fantasy and often not much like real sex.  exposing someone so young might create unreasonable expectations about sex in them, which would be bad too.

 

In conclusion, I have no way of passing judgement on whether or not it was the right idea, because I simply don't have enough information about the situation.

 

I mostly in agreement with this, it is very subjective depending on the case. But ultimately quality education about sex is much more important. And porn is hardly the first step, maybe the 39th step or so. So at 9 years old, they are probably still to young for a full out porn. Though you may possibly show them a quality sexual education video of some sort.

[Dhampir]

I and my best friend bonded through an intense mutual love of porn. We were about 8. I wouldn't suggest being the supplier of porn as a parent, but I had viewed a good deal of it by the time I was nine. Of course, at that time, I didn't need anything explicit to do the job, Like Neil said.

 

I remember, when I was 9 or 10, I found this box, a video box, with a bunch of pictures of naked women with stickers that appeared to be hiding some other acts, parts, etc. on them. By the time I got the stickers off... Whew!

[Totallyatpeace]

*Edit*

 

I didn't realize it had already been said. I missed page 2.

[Amethyst]

I think if they're a teenager, they'll probably get it on their own without parental involvement (or more likely, in spite of parental involvement), anyway. But I don't think it's right for kids to be reading that stuff, and definitely not young kids. And I don't think parents should be giving young kids that stuff.

[Fweethawt]

I was listening to the radio one morning on my way to work, to a couple of DJ's discussing pornography.  The discussion was about a father who gave his 9 year old son a pornographic video for his birthday.  The DJ's both agreed that this was okay because the child probably had 'needs that had to be met.'  They then went on saying how they wish their fathers had given them pornography at that age.  They also received phone calls from listeners who both agreed and disagreed with the situation.  So my question then is this.  For those of you who are not Christians(since most of you already know the christian answer to this), is this an acceptable thing, giving a child pornography?  My reason for this is to see if the majority of people believe in this.  If some of you do, then thats your opinion and I won't condemn you for it or say that you are wrong, I just want to take a poll.  Thank you.

 

Brian Dario

 

Keep this in mind too...

 

There are some radio stations out there that actually make stories like this up just so that a show can be generated by the call-ins.

 

The hosts know that the story if fake, but the callers don't.

 

It's kinda like Jerry Springer Radio or somethin'.

[Asimov]

I think if they're a teenager, they'll probably get it on their own without parental involvement (or more likely, in spite of parental involvement), anyway.  But I don't think it's right for kids to be reading that stuff, and definitely not young kids.  And I don't think parents should be giving young kids that stuff.

 

I would rather give my kid pornography and tell them about it than have them learn it from their friends and others.

[Fweethawt]

Dario,

 

Do you have children? Whether or not you do or don't matters not, have you read all the EXPLICIT sexual and rape stories in the bible?  Tamar was raped by her brother, Onan(whoever) had sex and spilled his seed, David and Bathsheba, the entire book of Song of Songs, etc.  Just because it doesn't have pictures doesn't make it not porn.  Of course, to Christians it isn't "porn" but rather the word of god.  Most people buy their little children of reading age a bible for XMAS, birthdays, etc.  How do you feel about those parts of the bible?  At what age do you think a child is "okay" to read that sexually explicit info?

 

Many Christians see nude art as filthy and they go at great lengths to keep their children away from it, but yet some of the most vile, obscene, rape, sexual stories, etc. are in the very book you call Holy. 

 

I would never give my son porn, ever.  That people would give it to a child disgusts me.  However, I'm asking you as a Christian....Considering all the sex that place in the bible, does a Christian have a right to judge people who give their children porn, when they give their children the bible?

 

You beat me to this, Serenity.

 

But you forgot Judges 19.

 

You know, the story about the gang-rape of the servant woman?

 

The woman who died on her master's doorstep because she had been gang-raped all night long.

 

Then her master cuts her up into little pieces and sends them to his friends.

 

 

Yeah, Dario, that is in the Bible.

 

What would you rather your children be exposed to, a Playboy magazine, or a gang-rape/murder/butchery story from His Holy Word???

 

 

Oh yes.... We unbelievers are just so fucked up, ain't we?

 

I could just imagine a Christian sex education class.

 

[Fweethawt]

I absolutely must apologize for my post above...

 

You see, being that that story is in The Holy Bible™, and it contains mentions of gang-rape, murder, and butchery, we must realize that there is a reason that God decided to include that story within the confines of His Holy Word and that there must be a good and wholesome moral to the story.

 

To find The Truth™ within, we must look deeper so that we may Glorify Him.

 

It is because of our Fallen Nature™, that we see this story as being detestable at first. Unless we Cry Out To God™ and ask Him for understanding, we will never know The Divine Truth™ that He intended to reveal in Judges, chapter 19.

 

 

 

Let us pray.

[NorthenSun]

 

Um...no.  Why would you assume atheists would think this is accaptable?

 

What radio station were you listening to, dario?  PervertsRUs.FM?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I totally agree with you, Cerise.

 

Why do Christians presume that non-Christians have no values, just because they don't believe in some ancient sky God.?

 

[Lunar Shadow]

For the record here.....

 

 

I would never give my child pornographic material. I also would never give my child a bible.

 

 

the thought that any nudity is pornographic is more than mind boggling to me even Xtians should embrace the human form the natural beauty that "god gave us" that is a big slap in the face to your creator "God you didn't send me in to this world right so I need to buy this stuff to cover up."

 

 

Ivy and I have a playboy subscription and we appreciate the artistic value in the photographs.

 

Pornography is (according to dictionary.com): Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.

 

Art work weather it be paint, picture, sculpture, or live nude human art IS NOT pornographic it celebrates the human form and shows its beauty.

 

 

That’s my $0.02

[Panther]

I absolutely must apologize for my post above...

 

You see, being that that story is in The Holy Bible, and it contains mentions of gang-rape, murder, and butchery, we must realize that there is a reason that God decided to include that story within the confines of His Holy Word and that there must be a good and wholesome moral to the story.

 

To find The Truth within, we must look deeper so that we may Glorify Him.

 

It is because of our Fallen Nature, that we see this story as being detestable at first. Unless we Cry Out To God and ask Him for understanding, we will never know The Divine Truth that He intended to reveal in Judges, chapter 19.

Let us pray.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

 

[Mike D]

I started reading Hustler mag when I was 7 or 8 (praise Larry Flynt!), but I would never advocate a parent giving a 9 year old kid porn, I think Neil said it best, that's just creepy. Now on the other hand, if dad has some porn hidden away in a back closet somewhere and the kid finds it, that's a different matter. That's how it worked for me, and that's how I learned about it. And I think it worked out ok that way.

 

IMO I think it's kind of an unspoken agreement between dad's and sons, kind of a like a don't ask don't tell thing. I think most dads know their sons look at porn or are at least going to be curious about it at some point (whether it's their own porn or not), so they just kinda don't go too far out of their way to stop nature. I think it becomes un-natural when the parents are either fundmentalist kooks who demonize sex as being vile, evil, etc., or when the parents are peddling porn to their small kids whether they ask for it or not.

[Ouroboros]

I think it becomes un-natural when the parents are either fundmentalist kooks who demonize sex as being vile, evil, etc., or when the parents are peddling porn to their small kids whether they ask for it or not.

I think the problem is usually when people take it too for to either side.

Moderation is the key. Dao, Yin/Yang.

 

Never do nothing, but never over-do it.