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Guest Perfect Insanity

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Did this happen soon after he got the tattoo? Or years later?

 

I forget the exact timeline, but the process started within a month, if I remember right. Point is, the human body will do crazy things even doctors scratch their heads over.

 

Doctors don't even understand my damn headaches yet. And Jesus never fixed them. I even asked.

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I could give several examples where I would have been crushed, or paralyzed, or dead in many different ways, but I never have had a broken bone.

 

Anyone who drives on a superhighway can give those examples. I could offer 3 from yesterday.

 

Phanta

 

Sheesh! Be careful girl! :phew:

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Guest Perfect Insanity

I forget the exact timeline, but the process started within a month, if I remember right. Point is, the human body will do crazy things even doctors scratch their heads over.

 

Hmm.

 

Doctors don't even understand my damn headaches yet. And Jesus never fixed them. I even asked.

 

Sucks. I know where you're coming from on that one, I've had some pain in the ass symptoms for probably a couple of years that I can't for the life of me get to the bottom of. Sometimes I get anxious and think "what if it's demon posession?" like one guy I talked to once suggested. :shrug:

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PI- it's time to be a Man and deal with reality.

 

 

 

You KNOW that there are thousands of different versions of Christianity- most claiming to be the exclusive, one, and only way to be saved.

 

You know that there are many more thousands (or tens or hundreds of thousands) of OTHER religious sects out there- each one promising The Truth.

 

They all claim miracles. They all claim truth. They all claim salvation in some form. And yet NONE of them can really be verified. If it were as simple as reading and understanding The Bible or any other inspired work- then Christians could come to some kind of agreement- but they never do. And they never will. People spend entire LIVES pursuing this nonsense- delving into the history, theology, ect. And even those who claim to have found the truth can never agree among each other.

 

Like you said, you can't win with this bullshit. It's a mind-game... nothing more. You CAN'T be saved. Even if there was a 'truth' out there, the odds of you finding it are infinitesimally tiny- really, what are the odds that you just happened to be raised in the only religion- out of tens or hundreds of thousands of sects- that has managed for find The Truth?

 

Think of all the people in this world who are far more wise and sincere than you or I could ever be. Even THEY can't agree on The Truth. If there's on single 'truth', and everybody who doesn't find it will be damned- then the VAST majority of humanity (including far better people than us) will be damned too. It's unwinnable because it's BULLSHIT.

 

 

At some point, you will have to accept the preponderance of the evidence AND accept that there will always be some tiny and unprovable risk that you might be wrong. Be a man about it. Accept that risk. Make your best and most sincere guess and just get on with your life.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

PI- it's time to be a Man and deal with reality.

 

That's just it - what exactly is reality? The fucked up nightmare reality that I see? Or the reality of the unknown?

 

You KNOW that there are thousands of different versions of Christianity- most claiming to be the exclusive, one, and only way to be saved.

 

Yeah.

 

You know that there are many more thousands (or tens or hundreds of thousands) of OTHER religious sects out there- each one promising The Truth.

 

Yeah.

 

They all claim miracles. They all claim truth. They all claim salvation in some form. And yet NONE of them can really be verified. If it were as simple as reading and understanding The Bible or any other inspired work- then Christians could come to some kind of agreement- but they never do. And they never will. People spend entire LIVES pursuing this nonsense- delving into the history, theology, ect. And even those who claim to have found the truth can never agree among each other.

 

Even among the most simple and insignificant things, they can't agree, and never will.

 

Like you said, you can't win with this bullshit. It's a mind-game... nothing more. You CAN'T be saved. Even if there was a 'truth' out there, the odds of you finding it are infinitesimally tiny- really, what are the odds that you just happened to be raised in the only religion- out of tens or hundreds of thousands of sects- that has managed for find The Truth?

 

The odds of that are slim. Actually, I think just the fact that I was raised in it should make me more skeptical of it.

 

Think of all the people in this world who are far more wise and sincere than you or I could ever be. Even THEY can't agree on The Truth. If there's on single 'truth', and everybody who doesn't find it will be damned- then the VAST majority of humanity (including far better people than us) will be damned too. It's unwinnable because it's BULLSHIT.

 

You're right.

 

At some point, you will have to accept the preponderance of the evidence AND accept that there will always be some tiny and unprovable risk that you might be wrong.

 

The evidence seems to go in more than one direction at times.

 

Be a man about it. Accept that risk. Make your best and most sincere guess and just get on with your life.

 

I have impure motives. I want to stop believing because I hate what it does to my mind. Then again, is that such a bad thing? In the eyes of God, probably. My best and most sincere guess is unknown. Like I said, the evidence seems to go in more than one direction. I don't know what the REAL evidence points towards. If it was really that simple and obvious, everybody would agree. But they don't. People fight to the death over this shit. When at the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter. Who cares who's right? The only risk I can see myself accepting is hell.... Basically become nothing but a rebel, and go full speed down the highway to hell. I don't like that option, but at times it seems that's my only real choice.

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Well for what it's worth, I pretty much did that for several years. I dropped Jesus when I was 13, concluding that IF the whole Jesus thing is real (as I was taught), then I CAN'T be saved- simply because I can't 'choose' to believe something that makes no sense to me. So in that sense, I accepted that I just might go to hell- but that there was nothing I could do about it. No sense in pretending to believe in a gawd who can read my thoughts.

 

So yeah, I think you have to accept SOME risk of hell. You can't rule it out entirely as a possibility- any more than you can rule out that teapot orbiting Jupiter (you can't prove that it ain't there). But you also realize that any 'salvation' is equally unknowable. (this is because it's all a mindfuck, IMO)

 

But I will tell you that once I accepted that I can't be 'saved'- it took years, but my mind did eventually clear of the religious indoctrination. These days I honestly don't see ANY more validity in Christian claims than I see in Voodoo. Once you know the history and the context of Christianity, it's pretty hard to take the claims seriously.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

Well for what it's worth, I pretty much did that for several years. I dropped Jesus when I was 13, concluding that IF the whole Jesus thing is real (as I was taught), then I CAN'T be saved- simply because I can't 'choose' to believe something that makes no sense to me. So in that sense, I accepted that I just might go to hell- but that there was nothing I could do about it. No sense in pretending to believe in a gawd who can read my thoughts.

 

So yeah, I think you have to accept SOME risk of hell. You can't rule it out entirely as a possibility- any more than you can rule out that teapot orbiting Jupiter (you can't prove that it ain't there). But you also realize that any 'salvation' is equally unknowable. (this is because it's all a mindfuck, IMO)

 

But I will tell you that once I accepted that I can't be 'saved'- it took years, but my mind did eventually clear of the religious indoctrination. These days I honestly don't see ANY more validity in Christian claims than I see in Voodoo. Once you know the history and the context of Christianity, it's pretty hard to take the claims seriously.

 

I really don't want this to last for years. That would suck. It's been a rocky, anxious, depressing, mindfuck of a journey for the last few years, since I became serious about my faith. Worst times of my life. I don't want it to last much longer. I can't take much more of it. I need a mental breakthrough, even if it's just a slight change in perspective. There must be a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere.

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Guest Valk0010

 

I really don't want this to last for years. That would suck. It's been a rocky, anxious, depressing, mindfuck of a journey for the last few years, since I became serious about my faith. Worst times of my life. I don't want it to last much longer. I can't take much more of it. I need a mental breakthrough, even if it's just a slight change in perspective. There must be a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere.

Remeber how preachers talk about a leap of faith, just another one. Take the risk, figure it out later. Getting the guts to do that will be your breakthrough.

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I have to move out, this much I've figured out. This apocalyptic doomsday environment doesn't help things at all. All the talk of how there's gonna be this war and that war, how the economy is gonna crash, how there will be lack of food and water, how foolish athiests are and how they have an "agenda", hearing greedy hypocritical judgmental televangelists on TV 24/7, I'm sick of it. No wonder I'm depressed. I have to move out. Or at least spend as much time away from home as possible. But there's some problems with that. For one, in the state I live in, you have to be 21 to move out, unless your parents approve of it sooner. In other words, I can't move out unless my parents let me. Unless I get married. Or if I were to run away from home. Aside from that, there's other problems. I lack many skills I need to be out on my own. I don't know if I could survive by myself as I am right now. I might could, but not well. I'd probably be without a home. I wouldn't be able to afford a place to live, and I don't know anyone I could room with and share the rent. I need a plan, and I'm gonna come up with one. Something's gotta change, dammit. Something happened earlier that set me off. I might be unable to go somewhere with a friend at the end of the summer, just because there might be a possible war somewhere in the future. And I'm not talking about the middle east, or anywhere near there. I'm sick of having to be involved in such a nutty mindset. My response? Who fucking cares if there might be a war, let me live my own goddamn life and I'll worry about that as it comes.

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I have to move out, this much I've figured out. This apocalyptic doomsday environment doesn't help things at all. All the talk of how there's gonna be this war and that war, how the economy is gonna crash, how there will be lack of food and water, how foolish athiests are and how they have an "agenda", hearing greedy hypocritical judgmental televangelists on TV 24/7, I'm sick of it. No wonder I'm depressed. I have to move out. Or at least spend as much time away from home as possible. But there's some problems with that. For one, in the state I live in, you have to be 21 to move out, unless your parents approve of it sooner. In other words, I can't move out unless my parents let me. Unless I get married. Or if I were to run away from home. Aside from that, there's other problems. I lack many skills I need to be out on my own. I don't know if I could survive by myself as I am right now. I might could, but not well. I'd probably be without a home. I wouldn't be able to afford a place to live, and I don't know anyone I could room with and share the rent. I need a plan, and I'm gonna come up with one. Something's gotta change, dammit. Something happened earlier that set me off. I might be unable to go somewhere with a friend at the end of the summer, just because there might be a possible war somewhere in the future. And I'm not talking about the middle east, or anywhere near there. I'm sick of having to be involved in such a nutty mindset. My response? Who fucking cares if there might be a war, let me live my own goddamn life and I'll worry about that as it comes.

 

Yes, you do need to get away from all of that.

 

Do you live in the USA? I don't know of any American State where an 18 year old can't leave home without parental permission.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

I have to move out, this much I've figured out. This apocalyptic doomsday environment doesn't help things at all. All the talk of how there's gonna be this war and that war, how the economy is gonna crash, how there will be lack of food and water, how foolish athiests are and how they have an "agenda", hearing greedy hypocritical judgmental televangelists on TV 24/7, I'm sick of it. No wonder I'm depressed. I have to move out. Or at least spend as much time away from home as possible. But there's some problems with that. For one, in the state I live in, you have to be 21 to move out, unless your parents approve of it sooner. In other words, I can't move out unless my parents let me. Unless I get married. Or if I were to run away from home. Aside from that, there's other problems. I lack many skills I need to be out on my own. I don't know if I could survive by myself as I am right now. I might could, but not well. I'd probably be without a home. I wouldn't be able to afford a place to live, and I don't know anyone I could room with and share the rent. I need a plan, and I'm gonna come up with one. Something's gotta change, dammit. Something happened earlier that set me off. I might be unable to go somewhere with a friend at the end of the summer, just because there might be a possible war somewhere in the future. And I'm not talking about the middle east, or anywhere near there. I'm sick of having to be involved in such a nutty mindset. My response? Who fucking cares if there might be a war, let me live my own goddamn life and I'll worry about that as it comes.

 

Yes, you do need to get away from all of that.

 

Do you live in the USA? I don't know of any American State where an 18 year old can't leave home without parental permission.

 

Yeah, I live in Mississippi. I looked it up a while back, if the info I read was correct, I believe that in every state in the US other than 4 of them, you can move out without parental approval at 18. MS is one of those 4 exceptions.

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I have to move out, this much I've figured out. This apocalyptic doomsday environment doesn't help things at all. All the talk of how there's gonna be this war and that war, how the economy is gonna crash, how there will be lack of food and water, how foolish athiests are and how they have an "agenda", hearing greedy hypocritical judgmental televangelists on TV 24/7, I'm sick of it. No wonder I'm depressed. I have to move out. Or at least spend as much time away from home as possible. But there's some problems with that. For one, in the state I live in, you have to be 21 to move out, unless your parents approve of it sooner. In other words, I can't move out unless my parents let me. Unless I get married. Or if I were to run away from home. Aside from that, there's other problems. I lack many skills I need to be out on my own. I don't know if I could survive by myself as I am right now. I might could, but not well. I'd probably be without a home. I wouldn't be able to afford a place to live, and I don't know anyone I could room with and share the rent. I need a plan, and I'm gonna come up with one. Something's gotta change, dammit. Something happened earlier that set me off. I might be unable to go somewhere with a friend at the end of the summer, just because there might be a possible war somewhere in the future. And I'm not talking about the middle east, or anywhere near there. I'm sick of having to be involved in such a nutty mindset. My response? Who fucking cares if there might be a war, let me live my own goddamn life and I'll worry about that as it comes.

 

Yes, you do need to get away from all of that.

 

Do you live in the USA? I don't know of any American State where an 18 year old can't leave home without parental permission.

 

Yeah, I live in Mississippi. I looked it up a while back, if the info I read was correct, I believe that in every state in the US other than 4 of them, you can move out without parental approval at 18. MS is one of those 4 exceptions.

 

That's just crazy. But you may want to speak with a Mississippi lawyer about the law. A consultation should not be too expensive and could give you good legal guidance on your legal rights to leave home.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

I have to move out, this much I've figured out. This apocalyptic doomsday environment doesn't help things at all. All the talk of how there's gonna be this war and that war, how the economy is gonna crash, how there will be lack of food and water, how foolish athiests are and how they have an "agenda", hearing greedy hypocritical judgmental televangelists on TV 24/7, I'm sick of it. No wonder I'm depressed. I have to move out. Or at least spend as much time away from home as possible. But there's some problems with that. For one, in the state I live in, you have to be 21 to move out, unless your parents approve of it sooner. In other words, I can't move out unless my parents let me. Unless I get married. Or if I were to run away from home. Aside from that, there's other problems. I lack many skills I need to be out on my own. I don't know if I could survive by myself as I am right now. I might could, but not well. I'd probably be without a home. I wouldn't be able to afford a place to live, and I don't know anyone I could room with and share the rent. I need a plan, and I'm gonna come up with one. Something's gotta change, dammit. Something happened earlier that set me off. I might be unable to go somewhere with a friend at the end of the summer, just because there might be a possible war somewhere in the future. And I'm not talking about the middle east, or anywhere near there. I'm sick of having to be involved in such a nutty mindset. My response? Who fucking cares if there might be a war, let me live my own goddamn life and I'll worry about that as it comes.

 

Yes, you do need to get away from all of that.

 

Do you live in the USA? I don't know of any American State where an 18 year old can't leave home without parental permission.

 

Yeah, I live in Mississippi. I looked it up a while back, if the info I read was correct, I believe that in every state in the US other than 4 of them, you can move out without parental approval at 18. MS is one of those 4 exceptions.

 

That's just crazy. But you may want to speak with a Mississippi lawyer about the law. A consultation should not be too expensive and could give you good legal guidance on your legal rights to leave home.

 

I may be wrong about the age being 18 in all but 4 states, but I just double checked for MS and apparently 21 was right. I really don't think I could come anywhere near affording anything to do with a lawyer, though. Still, if I can't move out, I could figure out a way to stay away from home as much as possible and start learning a little bit about how to be on my own in the mean time. It's a start, anyway.

 

EDIT: All this is just assuming my parents wouldn't approve of me moving out. Who knows, maybe they would? If they approved of it, I could legally move out.

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I have to move out, this much I've figured out. This apocalyptic doomsday environment doesn't help things at all. All the talk of how there's gonna be this war and that war, how the economy is gonna crash, how there will be lack of food and water, how foolish athiests are and how they have an "agenda", hearing greedy hypocritical judgmental televangelists on TV 24/7, I'm sick of it. No wonder I'm depressed. I have to move out. Or at least spend as much time away from home as possible. But there's some problems with that. For one, in the state I live in, you have to be 21 to move out, unless your parents approve of it sooner. In other words, I can't move out unless my parents let me. Unless I get married. Or if I were to run away from home. Aside from that, there's other problems. I lack many skills I need to be out on my own. I don't know if I could survive by myself as I am right now. I might could, but not well. I'd probably be without a home. I wouldn't be able to afford a place to live, and I don't know anyone I could room with and share the rent. I need a plan, and I'm gonna come up with one. Something's gotta change, dammit. Something happened earlier that set me off. I might be unable to go somewhere with a friend at the end of the summer, just because there might be a possible war somewhere in the future. And I'm not talking about the middle east, or anywhere near there. I'm sick of having to be involved in such a nutty mindset. My response? Who fucking cares if there might be a war, let me live my own goddamn life and I'll worry about that as it comes.

 

Yes, you do need to get away from all of that.

 

Do you live in the USA? I don't know of any American State where an 18 year old can't leave home without parental permission.

 

Yeah, I live in Mississippi. I looked it up a while back, if the info I read was correct, I believe that in every state in the US other than 4 of them, you can move out without parental approval at 18. MS is one of those 4 exceptions.

 

That's just crazy. But you may want to speak with a Mississippi lawyer about the law. A consultation should not be too expensive and could give you good legal guidance on your legal rights to leave home.

 

I may be wrong about the age being 18 in all but 4 states, but I just double checked for MS and apparently 21 was right. I really don't think I could come anywhere near affording anything to do with a lawyer, though. Still, if I can't move out, I could figure out a way to stay away from home as much as possible and start learning a little bit about how to be on my own in the mean time. It's a start, anyway.

 

EDIT: All this is just assuming my parents wouldn't approve of me moving out. Who knows, maybe they would? If they approved of it, I could legally move out.

 

Maybe you could discuss it with them and get their approval. It sounds like that could be real good for you. I was independent at 18 and I loved it. Of course, I was in the U.S. Navy. But still, I made all my personal decisions and had no mom or dad looking over my shoulder.

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Guest Perfect Insanity

I have to move out, this much I've figured out. This apocalyptic doomsday environment doesn't help things at all. All the talk of how there's gonna be this war and that war, how the economy is gonna crash, how there will be lack of food and water, how foolish athiests are and how they have an "agenda", hearing greedy hypocritical judgmental televangelists on TV 24/7, I'm sick of it. No wonder I'm depressed. I have to move out. Or at least spend as much time away from home as possible. But there's some problems with that. For one, in the state I live in, you have to be 21 to move out, unless your parents approve of it sooner. In other words, I can't move out unless my parents let me. Unless I get married. Or if I were to run away from home. Aside from that, there's other problems. I lack many skills I need to be out on my own. I don't know if I could survive by myself as I am right now. I might could, but not well. I'd probably be without a home. I wouldn't be able to afford a place to live, and I don't know anyone I could room with and share the rent. I need a plan, and I'm gonna come up with one. Something's gotta change, dammit. Something happened earlier that set me off. I might be unable to go somewhere with a friend at the end of the summer, just because there might be a possible war somewhere in the future. And I'm not talking about the middle east, or anywhere near there. I'm sick of having to be involved in such a nutty mindset. My response? Who fucking cares if there might be a war, let me live my own goddamn life and I'll worry about that as it comes.

 

Yes, you do need to get away from all of that.

 

Do you live in the USA? I don't know of any American State where an 18 year old can't leave home without parental permission.

 

Yeah, I live in Mississippi. I looked it up a while back, if the info I read was correct, I believe that in every state in the US other than 4 of them, you can move out without parental approval at 18. MS is one of those 4 exceptions.

 

That's just crazy. But you may want to speak with a Mississippi lawyer about the law. A consultation should not be too expensive and could give you good legal guidance on your legal rights to leave home.

 

I may be wrong about the age being 18 in all but 4 states, but I just double checked for MS and apparently 21 was right. I really don't think I could come anywhere near affording anything to do with a lawyer, though. Still, if I can't move out, I could figure out a way to stay away from home as much as possible and start learning a little bit about how to be on my own in the mean time. It's a start, anyway.

 

EDIT: All this is just assuming my parents wouldn't approve of me moving out. Who knows, maybe they would? If they approved of it, I could legally move out.

 

Maybe you could discuss it with them and get their approval. It sounds like that could be real good for you. I was independent at 18 and I loved it. Of course, I was in the U.S. Navy. But still, I made all my personal decisions and had no mom or dad looking over my shoulder.

 

Maybe. I'd rather wait and get all my plans sorted out, like where I'd live, etc. and be ready to move out before I discuss it.

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Maybe. I'd rather wait and get all my plans sorted out, like where I'd live, etc. and be ready to move out before I discuss it.

 

That makes perfect sense. If you have everything planned out, you'd probably have a better chance of getting their approval, anyway.

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Maybe. I'd rather wait and get all my plans sorted out, like where I'd live, etc. and be ready to move out before I discuss it.

 

That makes perfect sense. If you have everything planned out, you'd probably have a better chance of getting their approval, anyway.

 

Yeah, for sure.

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Damn PI- I knew that Mississippi was a fucked up state, but I had no idea that you could technically be a 20-year-old runaway in that state.

 

I don't know your parents or how they would react... and I don't know how strictly that law is enforced. I'm guessing that runaway 19 and 20 year olds aren't commonly picked up, though.

 

Personally, I moved out at age 18, just a few months after I graduated high school. I HAD to get out in order to preserve my sanity, and I left at the first opportunity. It can be difficult getting by on you own- but at least for me, supporting myself with a shitty job and splitting rent with shitty roommates was INFINITELY better than living with my Jesus-crazy parents. Don't get me wrong- I still love my parents and stay in contact with them. But at your age, most people have a very real NEED to get out own their own, do their own thing, and find out who they are. It looks to me like remaining under your parents' thumb is killing you. And is the security and free rent really worth it? It wasn't for me.

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Damn PI- I knew that Mississippi was a fucked up state, but I had no idea that you could technically be a 20-year-old runaway in that state.

 

I don't know your parents or how they would react... and I don't know how strictly that law is enforced. I'm guessing that runaway 19 and 20 year olds aren't commonly picked up, though.

 

Personally, I moved out at age 18, just a few months after I graduated high school. I HAD to get out in order to preserve my sanity, and I left at the first opportunity. It can be difficult getting by on you own- but at least for me, supporting myself with a shitty job and splitting rent with shitty roommates was INFINITELY better than living with my Jesus-crazy parents. Don't get me wrong- I still love my parents and stay in contact with them. But at your age, most people have a very real NEED to get out own their own, do their own thing, and find out who they are. It looks to me like remaining under your parents' thumb is killing you. And is the security and free rent really worth it? It wasn't for me.

 

I don't know for a fact that's the law, but if it really is, it's a dumb law. One way or another, I'm getting out. Even if I end up homeless.

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Ya' know, the only thing I have to ask is... why a Christian God?

 

Could it not be a nondenominational God? One that lacks religion but still is involved in daily life? What if it's Allah or Yahweh, or even Krishna helping you out? What if it's still an unknowable God?

 

Or perhaps it's just luck. I've had close calls in my life: if I hadn't stomped on the brakes when I saw that car, I might've been injured instead of escaping unscathed. If I had not looked that one way, I would've stepped in front of that car and probably been killed. Our lives are filled with these moments- and plenty of people still die young. I'm lucky to be alive, in every sense of the words. Lucky that it was that sperm and that egg at that moment with those two people, and born at the time I was, and cared for at all those times so I didn't die of something, lucky that I have never been in a bad crash or seriously injured, and lucky to have a future ahead of me hopefully. I should cherish all the moments I have, truthfully.

 

And also: why does your life get miracles when others don't? God still doesn't show much sympathy to the children starving in the world. Or those with AIDs, or those with irreparable cancer. A few of them a lucky, but it's really luck of the draw.

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Ya' know, the only thing I have to ask is... why a Christian God?

 

Might not be.

 

Could it not be a nondenominational God? One that lacks religion but still is involved in daily life? What if it's Allah or Yahweh, or even Krishna helping you out? What if it's still an unknowable God?

 

Could be any, I guess. Argh, my brainwashing is confusing me.

 

Or perhaps it's just luck. I've had close calls in my life: if I hadn't stomped on the brakes when I saw that car, I might've been injured instead of escaping unscathed. If I had not looked that one way, I would've stepped in front of that car and probably been killed. Our lives are filled with these moments- and plenty of people still die young. I'm lucky to be alive, in every sense of the words. Lucky that it was that sperm and that egg at that moment with those two people, and born at the time I was, and cared for at all those times so I didn't die of something, lucky that I have never been in a bad crash or seriously injured, and lucky to have a future ahead of me hopefully. I should cherish all the moments I have, truthfully.

 

Maybe luck is all anything is.

 

And also: why does your life get miracles when others don't?

 

It doesn't.

 

God still doesn't show much sympathy to the children starving in the world. Or those with AIDs, or those with irreparable cancer. A few of them a lucky, but it's really luck of the draw.

 

That right there almost proves, anything good or bad that happens is just luck, or lack thereof. Either that or God cares for some people and doesn't give a shit about others. And it seems like the ones he abandons are always the most innocent people in the worst possible situations. When a Christian is asked about this, they will usually say "It's impossible to understand God's ways" or "I don't have all the answers" or something like that. They're dodging the question by saying that. Usually unintentionally. Fuck that, I'll give my answer: shit happens.

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haha, maybe I was answering a bit late to your original post.

 

I really can't agree with you more: shit happens. But so does good.

 

the brainwashing is hard to get rid of: I still sort of slip up when I see the sky or some natural beauty in the landscape- I want to think "Look at God's Creation!" sometimes and then I have to correct myself; It's the clouds- they're beautiful and it's amazing how they happen- all the molecules and how the light reflects off of them- still so breath-taking. Same with the mountains- trees, the lakes and oceans. It does remind you how amazing it is to be alive- and how rare that life is.

 

May as well soak up the good while it lasts. Even marveling at human ingenuity is great: music, art, how we're capable of such amazing creations, and how much we have learned. It's all mind-boggling- yet in the scope of reality.

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haha, maybe I was answering a bit late to your original post.

 

I really can't agree with you more: shit happens. But so does good.

 

the brainwashing is hard to get rid of: I still sort of slip up when I see the sky or some natural beauty in the landscape- I want to think "Look at God's Creation!" sometimes and then I have to correct myself; It's the clouds- they're beautiful and it's amazing how they happen- all the molecules and how the light reflects off of them- still so breath-taking. Same with the mountains- trees, the lakes and oceans. It does remind you how amazing it is to be alive- and how rare that life is.

 

May as well soak up the good while it lasts. Even marveling at human ingenuity is great: music, art, how we're capable of such amazing creations, and how much we have learned. It's all mind-boggling- yet in the scope of reality.

 

The brainwashing will never totally go away.

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You're right- it won't. My holy-roller christian upbringing will always be a part of me. But the fear DOES go away- takes longer for some people than others. It seems to me that you're in an environment that actively feeds and plays on your fears. The sooner you get the hell out of there, the sooner you can start to heal.

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I would really encourage you to do some reading. There are some good books you can download for free from project Gutenberg or manybooks.net - Superstition in All Ages by Jean Meslier or The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine are both excellent and you can download a copy right now. (regulars here are gonna get so tired of hearing me say that over and over again ;-)

 

I hope you can shut out all the weirdness and contradictory shit you hear around you and just make a private space in your own mind to quietly and calmly work things out.

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