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Goodbye Jesus

Video 'jesus & Young People'


prplfox

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Just watched the first four parts and they really resonated with me. I feel like i had christian emotional flashbacks. especially at the part with jars of clay playing. i used to listen to that. I still get the same emotional feelings when i hear stuff that I used hear and see when i was christian. It is such a strong powerful thing and its so deeply ingrained in me even though i am no longer christian. thanks for posting those.

 

 

Thank you. I'm the same way with that Jars of Clay song, it was the single most moving song I ever heard as a Christian, that's why I included it. Even now, years later, it was still quite the emotional tempest to work with it as material for the series. It goes so deep.

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You are a really good writer. It's been over 20 years since I experienced the things you covered in your vids, but you brought back so many memories and vividly described so many of the same thoughts and experiences from my own past.

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  • 4 months later...

Great job prplfox!

 

I watched all 5 parts today and I am looking forward to part 6. Please post on this entry when you have it up.

 

I could strongly relate to your journey, but I think it will be especially moving for my wife (2Honest) as you two sound similar emotionally. Thanks again :)

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I dig your series man. Please post part 6 soon!

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  • 2 weeks later...

You are such an ARTIST!!!! Visually, musically, poetically and flying spaghetti monster knows in how many other ways!

Glad you made it out and are sharing your experience! You are making a difference.

 

Looking forward to Part 6.

 

Thank you, thank you!!!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Why do I deserve to spend an eternity in hell for breaking one rule?

 

Because without hell there would be no reason to become Christian. All of Christianity - everything - is done as a get out of hell card. Once you get saved then you can't turn your back because then you would be a ex-Christian. So the rest of your life you praise God and all the rest out of gratitude for getting you out of hell.

 

If there was no hell then:

-all the praise and gratitude to Jesus would literally be "Thanks for nothing".

-Paul's salvation theology is misinformation.

-there was no grand purpose or plan when Jesus died. The death on the cross was a meaningless waste.

-Christians are not really saved from anything. Calling them "saved" is misinformation.

 

Christians think they are reasonable people. So when they do something they tell themselves that what they did was something a reasonable person would do. (This principle is called self justification) So when they invest years or decades into a goofy religion they have to twist it around in their mind so that they see it as the only reasonable thing to do. That is why Christians do not allow themselves to see how John 3:16 mocks love and makes God look like a comic book character. They would rather believe that God the Father has to have justice and had to have a creation with free will, and there has to be a hell and Jesus dying was the only way God could forgive. The alternative is to become an ex-Christian.

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  • 2 months later...

Just watched 1-5. Awesome work!

 

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE get to part 6.

 

Question: How many parts will there be?

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Just watched 1-5. Awesome work!

 

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE get to part 6.

 

Question: How many parts will there be?

 

I've been writing part 6, it's the last part. It is taking longer than I wanted it to but I have to let this one take its time.

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Just wanted to say that your videos were one of many influences. Thank you for being so open and honest.

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Just wanted to say that your videos were one of many influences. Thank you for being so open and honest.

 

Agreed.

 

I was never in quite as spiritually deep as you, Prplfox. Your emotional battle and betrayal by Christianity is the perfect complement to Evid3nc3's logical/rational discarding of Christianity. Take your time, and we are all excited to see the product.

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Just watched 1-5. Awesome work!

 

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE get to part 6.

 

Question: How many parts will there be?

 

I've been writing part 6, it's the last part. It is taking longer than I wanted it to but I have to let this one take its time.

 

Understandable. I was hoping it was only 6 parts, I could just feel the anticipation of it all coming together in one last part.

 

You are very talented, I love the way you put it all together. It has an extremely modern feel to it. Very innovative and forward thinking. It feels very inviting and comfortable, as though you are a part of the story itself.

 

You are a very good narrator as well. It's a difficult story to tell, thanks for sharing it.

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  • 2 months later...

We are dealing with very messy family situation so I have a lot of anger to deal with. I haven't even gotten to the point of allowing myself to break down over the loss. I was not as emotionally connected to the group I was leading mostly because they weren't feeling me like they would have a young male leader. For some reason I've noticed in churches they want a young male leader becasue they get the best turnout, but I can relate to the music ministry side a great deal. I poured myself into it. Wrote songs, sang a lot. I got tapped a lot to lead and help lead and was feeling like I was coming apart towards the end. I'm not sure where to go with it all right now. These videos are powerful. You seem to be very sincere.

 

I hope there is happiness for you at the end of all of this.

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  • 1 month later...

I want to watch all of these. I stopped halfway through part three because I have to expose myself to the old evangelical rhetoric carefully and slowly, because I sometimes go into very unpleasant flashbacks. I appreciate the artistry and your story is compelling because it is familiar to me. I went to Young Life camps when I was in high school and, after losing my faith gradually from junior year to my first year in college, I saw them (and still see them) as emotionally manipulative indoctrination rituals. The sleep deprivation, the encouragement of nearly uncontrollable emotional responses to disingenuous testimony, the physical exhaustion as they ran us up and down mountains for the entire two weeks, and its culmination in an attempt to lead us as one group into a climax of adolescent passion, during which it was hoped that we would be saved if we weren't already, or find some closer communion with g*d if we were--all of it now looks to me like the carefully orchestrated mass conditioning of a virtually captive group of young people.

 

In other words, it looks to me now like the brainwashing of a particularly vulnerable population. It didn't matter that I had believed this stuff for my entire life; I was still convicted, over and over, of my own shortcomings and my own need to confess, repent, find grace, and then repeat ad nauseum. The thing is, this was a neverending process--an addiction, as you put it: up and down, highs and lows, with nothing in between. It did not help that I was developing clinical depression and already had PTSD from childhood sexual abuse, but in the end it was g*d's seeming indifference to my deteriorating emotional state that shook the faith out of me.

 

Anyway. I guess I should tell my own story in my own thread, but I wanted to thank you for these videos, if you are still here reading.

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Hi Erik, welcome to the forum. We are free from the mental abuse of religion here, or in the process of freeing ourselves. Stick around!

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prplfox Wow! I just watched parts 1 & 2 and I am about to head over to YouTube to watch the rest. You really did a fantastic job of illustrating feelings I hadn't thought about in years. It brought me back to being in my early 20s and struggling with thought crimes & shame over sexuality. The way you illustrated how one can get sucked into Christianity, and to the delusion that we have a real relationship with Jesus. Which contibuted to my own few years of being addicted to religion. The emptiness you feel when you cannot sustain these beliefs, this reminded me of the years I would drive to church sick to my stomach because I could no longer tolerate the teachings, while still believing it must be me & it must be my fault.

 

I think you really elaborated evid3dence videos as far concentratinf on the emotional side & the experiences of being this deep into religion. Any Christian who questions whether we the deconverted were true Christians needs to watch these videos.

 

Well done, sir!

 

Also, I loved your descriptions of upstateNY in part one :)

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You are a really good writer. It's been over 20 years since I experienced the things you covered in your vids, but you brought back so many memories and vividly described so many of the same thoughts and experiences from my own past.

Hey, don't I know you from somewhere else? LOL

Seriously - what a profound series and it pretty much covers everything so many have gone through. The 2 things that resonate throughout the vids are the 2 things that keep fundamentalists in line - guilt and sin. I reject both, in fact I'm working on an article about the sin thing and how it doesn't have anything to do with the 21st century person - nada.

 

Regarding the guilt part - as the late writer Kurt Vonnegut said - guilt is the worse kind of evil because it destroys hope in a human being.

I couldn't have said it any better...

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Incredible series in so many ways and totally looking forward to the finale.

 

Prplfox, what is your opinion on how ex-Christians should approach people who are emotionally so deep into Christianity and live by Jesus? Would encouraging them to think with a more open mind be beneficial or cause damage in the long run?

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Beautifully done! You really depicted the incredible emotional turmoil. What you said about addiction reminds me of a book I read that was really a pivotal moment for me, titled "Spiritual Vampires" by Marty Raphael. She talks about how people get addicted to the emotional highs of attending spiritual retreats, and how there are often spiritual leaders who feed off that energy. She was dealing with spirituality in general, but it applies.

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I am so thankful you did these videos. Part II resonated with me deeply. I even found myself missing that type of worship in the beginning of your video, and reminded me of when I would hold back tears because I wanted so badly to believe.

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She talks about how people get addicted to the emotional highs of attending spiritual retreats, and how there are often spiritual leaders who feed off that energy. She was dealing with spirituality in general, but it applies.

 

It doesn't even have to spiritual. Amway and it's clones parasite of this all the time. The group high is enjoyable but it loses its luster over time.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I am so glad I came across this & am looking forward to part 6. I came out to my family recently & no one understands me. I was so very passionate about God, felt so in love with Jesus. Everyone is devastated & frightened, and they don't understand how my love for God wreaked havoc in my life, caused me to get stuck in a cycle of shame/pain & release in an unending loop. I am so happy to be free, and I am learning to love myself. No more crucifying my flesh or feeling shame.

 

I can relate to this in so many ways! The videos are great...love your voice, the artwork, the imagery. I am sorry about the loss of your friend, btw. :-/

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Watched parts 1-5. Please don't give up on finishing your story. This was beautiful- all of it! I want to hear the happy part, the part where you let go and life becomes wonderful againcloud9_99.gif

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  • 2 months later...

I watched parts 1-5. Absolutely riveting. I was crying when you talked about how you couldn't sing the songs and couldn't bear the sermons anymore because I remember feeling the same way. I stopped going to church because it hurt so much to hear the lyrics - how god was so great, how much i trusted in him, blah blah blah. I am so sorry you experienced so much pain through your deconversion. I anxiously await the next chapter of this video series and hope that you have found happiness.

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  • 1 month later...

I just noticed part two in the new content list and hadn't seen part one before. This looks wonderful... very well-done! The campus group I was in had the same style of prayer. I'm looking forward to watching part two.

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  • 2 months later...

Super video Eli

 

Seems christian indoctrination is a form of abuse thank god I stopped before my own kids were so ravaged. I never did religion at that age instead i enjoyed the partying 70s and became saved mid 80 s. but it still warped me some in terms of guilt tripping myself and being a moral perfectionist . I am happy for you dude... Keep walking in truth it sets you free ! Watch out for still Christian friends they can be pretty Mean when they know you aren't in their fold anymore but all that does is prove more it's all crap.

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