MQTA Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 I was thinking about the role religions play in our day to day lives. I was thinking about why it will never disappear. It seems that no matter what you believe, what you focus on (whether you talk about these things with others, as we do here; or not), where you spend your Sundays and family gatherings, when you die, you're equal to believers and non-believers. If everyone were professing non-religious types, what would we do when someone died? I've been to many funerals in the last 33 years of memory. Many of the people I've known personally, friends, relatives, friends of relatives. Some were super duper religious (mostly seemingly Jewish or Christian), some were seemingly atheist, non-practing whatever label they identified with, the whole gambit of possible beliefs. Yet, from what I can remember, most all of the services were nearly identical. Whether the speaker knew the person, or not, the same kinds of things were said (they ask the names of close people, and fill-in-the-blanks), the service level was basically the same. Similar or same rituals. No matter what you believe, when you die, your family does whatever it is the majority bloodline is, or what they think YOU were. What happens to atheists when they die? If they were born a Jew, they die a Jew; if they're born a Christian, they die a Christian, unless they converted along the way, but then it's still usually either one of those two. How would we bury and have services otherwise? I have no idea how muslim or hindu or any nonJudeoChristian belief systems bury their dead, but I'm not aware of, or ever been to, any funerals for agnostics, atheists, humanists, etc, etc. Whatever I may have presumed them to believe, their funerals were always Just Like all the religion-based folk in their families. What would an atheist funeral consist of? Black hefty cinch sak and a farewell party? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 Most people opt for cremation now anyway. And the christian funerals that I've been to have ended up looking more like a evangelism rally to scare people into the arms of Jesus. I haven't been to an atheist's funeral or memorial service (maybe mine will be the first I attend). But I have to assume it would be more of a celebration and reminiscing of a life lived than talking about "going on to a better place" and asking the attendees if they are ready to face the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanInPA Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 I hope that at my funeral, someone gets up and says: Well, Dan was a good guy, helped people in need when he was able, brought a smile to those around him.........and now he's worm food! We'll miss you, Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 If you're that worried about it now, plan it out yourself before you kick the bucket. Type out a speech of your own and make arrangements for someone to read it before they put you in the ground. I'm seriously thinking about doing something like that myself. I can just see it now... I'd probably have the first funeral in history where people are busting out laughing, and I'd end the speech asking them all to just remember the good times and to go have a party afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MQTA Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 If you're that worried about it now, plan it out yourself before you kick the bucket. Type out a speech of your own and make arrangements for someone to read it before they put you in the ground. I'm seriously thinking about doing something like that myself. I can just see it now... I'd probably have the first funeral in history where people are busting out laughing, and I'd end the speech asking them all to just remember the good times and to go have a party afterwards. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Has anyone really given it much thought? Once I'm gone, those who are left will do what they think should be done. If I go before my 70s or 80s, well, I probably won't care what they do with me, and once I'm in my 70s or 80s, who knows what'll be by then. When I was laying down the other night I was thinking about it, all the funerals I've been to, for people with varying beliefs, that I knew of. And pretty much, all the services were just the same. You get a rabbi or a priest, and they all give pretty much the same speeches, the same words, the same reference text. That's what they do, that's the one reason why that book will be around a while. Nobody'd know what to do otherwise. How people live their lives is one thing, but when they die, they're usually funeraled and buried the same way as everyone else in their family and circle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 If I'll write a will of how my funeral should be performed, I think they should serve tequila, whiskey, wine, play techno/dance music and have a partayy! "Finally He's Gone! He stayed long enough!" Should be the text on the banner... hehe The universe started with a Big Bang, so heck, I should go out in one too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MQTA Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 If I'll write a will of how my funeral should be performed, I think they should serve tequila, whiskey, wine, play techno/dance music and have a partayy!"Finally He's Gone! He stayed long enough!" Should be the text on the banner... hehe The universe started with a Big Bang, so heck, I should go out in one too. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Speaking of how things started... seems like if you watched under a microscope a sperm and egg joining, it would look like a big bang. At the singularity, at the moment of connection, sparks fly and cells divide and divide. and just remember, you'll always be Daddy's little squirt How many people would want to witness their own funeral? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 How many people would want to witness their own funeral? I think this would be interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totallyatpeace Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 If I'll write a will of how my funeral should be performed, I think they should serve tequila, whiskey, wine, play techno/dance music and have a partayy! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Did somebody say tequila? I would think it would be a service that shared the accomplishments of that person's life. Probably more of a "wake". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poonis Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 I want the mortician to take my guts and stuff out and stitch me back up with a body full of candy. Hang me like a pinata and give everyone baseball bats. I think that would be fun. Oh, and not that shitty candy you can buy by the pound. I think mourners deserve better for their grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MQTA Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 not a very pretty picture there. eww I really haven't given it much thought before, which is why I brought it up here. I figure if many of our relatives don't really care what we think about things that are different than how they think, while we're alive, that they're not even going to consider your ideas when they're frantically crying and ordering up a funeral for you. My children aren't going to want to deal with it, they'll just go pick a funeral home and let the cheaters order up what ever they can convince them to get. They'll answer the question of what religion I was born into and that's who will speak. Just like any other funeral out there. The hardest thing to deal with is death, so everyone takes the easy route.. you pay, let someone else organize. And really, after 60, 70, 80 something years, who really cares? And I think that no matter what anyone thinks or says or discovers or believes, it's Funerals and burying our dead that will keep things pretty much as they are. Can argue over the validity of the beliefs... but no matter what, we still gotta do something when someone dies, and that will probably never change. Can't imagine it. It's like what I think is the main reason marijuana will never become legal, if it's legal, they can make TV commercials. I can't imagine ever seeing a tv commercial. Some things just aren't discussed in the public domain. Death is definitely at the top of the list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 If everyone were professing non-religious types, what would we do when someone died? How about follow their wishes? (Oh, wait, we can't possibly do that...must have a religious funeral no matter what!) If people weren't religious, I predict a "funeral planning" profession would arise, and people would plan their funerals before they die. It's already starting to happen. Funeral.com I think funerals would be more personalized. Instead of religious hymns, people could choose their favorite songs to be played on CDs or whatever media was around, or choose songs they know will comfort their loved ones. You could actually have food you liked, or you know your family likes and will comfort them, instead of church potluck food. (You can bet that if I ever have to plan my own funeral, chocolate in some form would be there. So would coffee, in generous amounts.) And people would know what you were actually like as a person, whether you were religious or not. Not this whole "he/she was a good person because they were saved" crap. IMHO, traditions will change, but the basic funeral would probably still be around. Maybe more people would get cremated. Who knows? But I don't think you need religions to have funerals. In fact, I think the humanists already have alternate funeral services. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 I hope that at my funeral, someone gets up and says: Well, Dan was a good guy, helped people in need when he was able, brought a smile to those around him.........and now he's worm food! We'll miss you, Dan If you want someone to say it, better tell them before you kick the bucket. Most people aren't mind readers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hero of Hyrule Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 The funerals you prophesised are normal here, while religious funerals are rare. People burned in boats, people having house parties at death...It all happens. Not that I'm an expert on funerals... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 You know something you NEVER hear at a funeral? Claiming that the dead guy went to hell. Even if it was, like, the unsaved spouse of a fundy who told christians to kiss his ass his whole life. When the guy was alive, he was probably told a thousand times that without Jesus he was going to hell. But, at his funeral, they will always leave room for doubt. They'll say that no one knows the mind of God. No one knows what was in the guy's heart. Why not just suck it up, say - we're pretty sure this guy wasn't saved, and now he's screaming in torment. Mutherfucker should have listened to us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MQTA Posted October 10, 2005 Author Share Posted October 10, 2005 You know something you NEVER hear at a funeral? Claiming that the dead guy went to hell. Even if it was, like, the unsaved spouse of a fundy who told christians to kiss his ass his whole life. When the guy was alive, he was probably told a thousand times that without Jesus he was going to hell. But, at his funeral, they will always leave room for doubt. They'll say that no one knows the mind of God. No one knows what was in the guy's heart. Why not just suck it up, say - we're pretty sure this guy wasn't saved, and now he's screaming in torment. Mutherfucker should have listened to us. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That was my point. NO matter what I knew of the person and his/her beliefs, the song was always the same by the speakers. Just the names are changed. Any deviations or personalizations come from the mourners, or maybe the speaker knew the person personally. But it's always positive. So people condemn you to hell all your life, but at your funeral they're all quiet about the negative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dead_hobbit Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 You get a rabbi or a priest, and they all give pretty much the same speeches, the same words, the same reference text. Last time I checked, Jewish and Catholic death ceremonies were quite different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 How many people would want to witness their own funeral? That's an interesting thought... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Did somebody say tequila? I would think it would be a service that shared the accomplishments of that person's life. Probably more of a "wake". Reminds me of Scary Movie: "It's a wake" "What? She's awake!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 If you want someone to say it, better tell them before you kick the bucket. Most people aren't mind readers. And it must be even more difficult to read a dead mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythra Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 I'll bet when you try, you just keep drawing a blank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MQTA Posted October 11, 2005 Author Share Posted October 11, 2005 Last time I checked, Jewish and Catholic death ceremonies were quite different. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> to each other maybe, but not between each other. Still, same typical routine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dead_hobbit Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 to each other maybe, but not between each other. Still, same typical routine. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> If you're going to pull that line, we might as well say there isn't any difference between a Jewish, a Catholic, or an Atheist death ceremony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doomguarder Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Call to my services (ash dispersal) a speaker of the dead. I will only have the truth of my life and times told to those who attend. The good, the bad and the ugly were all a part of me in life and should be a part of my memory in death. Only truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kryten Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 I want the mortician to take my guts and stuff out and stitch me back up with a body full of candy. Hang me like a pinata and give everyone baseball bats. I think that would be fun. Oh, and not that shitty candy you can buy by the pound. I think mourners deserve better for their grief. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Mmmmmm, candy. You didn't mention if you wanted to wait until you're dead, so. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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