DayLight Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 My own experience has not been like this at all. I was taught that there was a god from childhood. I wanted to believe that there was a god. I had no access to any atheist's writings or websites, nor did I know any atheists personally. It was my own examination of the Bible and the church and my own feelings that led me to disbelieve in god. How could you possibly know whether people would believe in god or not if there were no atheist's writings? I just meant that people are very influenced by writings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DayLight Posted November 24, 2010 Share Posted November 24, 2010 She believes that it's a lot more fun and interesting to go through life thinking that God exists than to be an atheist, and that all the atheists she's ever known have seemingly had a hole in their lives that they were always striving to fill with something. She's never met a content and happy one. So, I would like to think that God exists, but how can I just pray and listen for the "still small voice" she's talking about when I have so much baggage from my past as a Christian? Is that even a good idea? My last prayer before becoming an atheist was begging God, if He existed, to show Himself to me clearly. I have had conversations with God, with a... golden presence in my mind that was, unlike the rest of the voices in my head, not mine. But then, as I started to deconvert, I discovered that I could use my will to bring up that feeling, and that despite how it all felt to me, that voice truly was one of mine. It was just buried so deep in my subconscious that I didn't recognise myself. For a while the loss of my ever-present friend was a bad blow, and I suppose I was one of those unfulfilled atheists your friend described. But it's been a while now, and I miss that sense of... whatever it was. I don't think it was anything supernatural, but the experience was real. The way I interpreted how I felt was not accurate, but the sense of being loved, of healing, that came with it... I miss that. So I guess now I'm leaning more towards the idea of "finding god with yourself". If I was able to get that much help and comfort from inside myself when I didn't know what was going on, shouldn't I now be much better at drawing that sort of support from inside myself now that I have a better understanding? I see it more as listening to my subconscious; it's like my conscious mind has such a tiny narrow view of things, like a weak flashlight in a giant warehouse. I want to be better at drawing on all the resource that exist inside me. So I guess I'd encourage you to go ahead and listen for that "still small voice", but don't be surprised if it is your own voice. And if you do find yourself feeling compelled to read something into your experiences that you know is not true (I had a horrible time when I tried to read the bible with an open mind, i could feel myself editing my own thoughts to make them "right"), it's quite alright to give it a break until you've healed enough to approach it as yourself. I just wanted to add that the Beings on the other side, those who love us, those who communicate with us, told me that they are in our subconscious. They speak to us like that (the most common method). And people do say that sometimes it's hard to tell whether it's them speaking or whether it's their own thoughts. But I think context should help and getting familiar with the routine and getting to know the pattern. They speak through various ways. If for example, the songs that I keep coming across, keep speaking directly to my problems (and bring me comfort), I take it as a communication rather than just plain coincidence. And why not? If that's the way they communicate with us, why should we think that it's just a coincidence? Or if the thoughts (or inner voice) brings comfort, why should we assume that it's just our own voice? It's like saying: I hear a cat crying outside. And somebody came out and said: no, it's just the wind sounding like that coming through a pipe. Ok. So it was the wind that time. But the next time you hear the sound, it could BE a cat. Just because they sound alike doesn't mean it's always only one and not the other occasionally. Sometimes the thoughts are our own. And sometimes they are not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaticheathen Posted December 6, 2010 Share Posted December 6, 2010 What helped me was letting go of my fear of being wrong and my panic to get all my beliefs correct in a very short amount of time. I think that when you start to settle on your own beliefs, whether you think that any god exists in any way, you will make sense of it for yourself and all these other things will just be noise. If you want to, talk to yourself. Tell yourself "I believe that there is a god. He's outside religion. He cares about me". Then see if that makes sense to you. Are you nodding your head and feeling that the statement reflects something you already "knew"? Or are you shaking your head and saying - that kind of sounds like bullshit? Tell yourself other things "I don't believe there is a god"... "I believe that god is inside me"... "I don't think it's possible to know if there's a god"..."I don't like the word god, I'm going to call my spiritual belief the universe"... Don't feel pressure to accept anything or to force yourself in any way. Just say these things to think about what makes sense and what doesn't. ETA: And I don't mean that figuring out your gut instincts should end your openness to exploring your beliefs. Just because one thing makes sense to you now, you may learn new things or experience new things that make you start to believe differently in the future. But it sounds like you are having trouble sorting out what you think right now from things that a lot of other people are telling you, and IMO, it would be good to figure out what your own thoughts are. This is very sound advice. I +10 this, personally. It's basically how I came to how I live now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DayLight Posted December 6, 2010 Share Posted December 6, 2010 The first thing I would like to point out though is that what your friend says about atheists not being content or having a hole in their lives I would challenge as not much more than a projection of what it might be for her if she was one. I believe someone can be non-theistic and be wonderfully fulfilled in their lives. Theism is not a prerequisite to living a fulfilled life. am leaning towards finding the truth no matter how "empty" I may feel (initially) due to the loss of my cherished belief system. It's kind of scary though, for sure. I used to be a Christian. I strongly believed that everything said there was the truth, the reality. And that the rest of the world was deceived by satan. I was given to understand that Christianity was JUST LIKE the rest of religions, constructed by man. Religions are RUMORS about the other side, the other realm, the world beyond ours. I do not believe we can know THE TRUTH. Therefore seeking it would be futile. There is unbelief. That's not the truth That's rejecting all the other possibilities in spite of so many people claiming that there is something or someone out there. Then there are beliefs. In all kinds of things. Some of them are nonsense. Some of them are good for something. But the truth, as it is, is still eluding humanity. I believe that there are Beings out there, beyond our world, and I am thinking (based on such a huge variety of what people believe or not believe in this world) that we are not given to know the truth while we are here. So this life is not about finding the truth, as much as finding your calling. Find what you WANT. What you feel drawn to. And it's going to be your destiny. It's like letting life run its course. Seek what your heart desires. I personally LOVE believing that we have very close friends and loved ones (not necessarily from earth) waiting for us. I love believing that they know more than me and can help me in touch situations. I love knowing that they love me. If I feel down, I can just think of them and remember their words that they love me. And that helps. So I think each person needs to find their own path. Do what your heart tells you. Perhaps in the end, you will end up doing what you were meant to do or to be. But on the details, I would agree with that friend: be open to the possibility of Someone (or even Someone special) waiting for you and who is there for you. All you have to do is to find that connection. It's not always easy. And there are no instructions. But those who try, are rewarded. And I think that those people who believe something nice are much happier than those who don't. And of course, this is coming from a point of view that the real truth is not to be found here. We'll simply believe whatever is believable to us, and then come to the other side and realize that we misunderstood everything. But in the long run it doesn't matter. What matters is that you do the best you can, the thing that you believe is the right thing to do, so that at the end you will satisfied by your actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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