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To My Child...


dB-Paradox
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There have been two really good analogies posted by members here in the past explaining why we non-believers no longer believe. The first I remember reading was by par4dcourse and his parable of Rod and Numan. That was a classic piece of work! Then, back in September, riverrunner made a great post about two brothers who have never seen their dad, but must have faith that he really is out there somewhere. Both of these great posts were from our point of view. I have been thinking about a few things and wanted to contribute my share to land of parables! I recently saw a YouTube video pointing out that while Paul preaches faith, the bastard didn't even have a dime's worth himself! We're supposed to have faith because he supposedly experienced something life changing? I'll bet that if he didn't have his "road to Damascus" experience, he never would have believed, either! That hypocritical little shit! Thomas is another great example. He needed proof. And that's what we need! So below is my letter as a loving father to his child. It paints the picture that if god reveals himself to some people, it only stands to reason that he MUST reveal himself to ALL people, otherwise their disbelief is 100% warranted. Unlike par's and river's posts, this letter is written from god's point of view to show how stupid the idea is! Who would ever think this letter came from a loving dad?

 

Dear child,

 

I know that you have never known me, and that this letter is all that you have. But please know that I do love you dearly, and that one day you will be able to come see me. And as you get older, you may have questions. Questions like, why did I leave? Where am I now? And will I ever come back? You may have many other questions, and when you do, you may ask your mother and older brother to answer them, as I was with them before you were born. They knew me personally because I lived with them right up until the time you were born. I love them and they love me. You must also show this same love for me as they do, even though you have never known me. If you do not show this love toward me, I cannot let you come to see me...ever! And if you ever have any doubts about whether or not I am even alive, you will not be able to come see me...ever! You absolutely must trust the things your mother and older brother say about me. If you doubt them, you will not be able to come see me...ever! You must constantly believe that I will come home to you, so that I will bring you back with me. For if I come back unexpectedly and you are in doubt, you will not be able to come see me...ever! Furthermore, you must tell all your friends all the wonderful things I do for you on a daily basis, even though I don't actually do anything. If you are ashamed to tell your friends this, you will not be able to come see me...ever!

 

Please understand that I love you and want to be with you! And I want you to be with me! And even though I could just come home right now and show you the love you need, I will not. But like I said, you can always talk to your mother and older brother. They will tell you how much I love you. Again, you must believe them. Or else you will not be able to come see me...ever!

 

With the warmest love,

 

Your daddy!

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P.S. This letter was hand-written by your older brother, because I prefer others to do the actual writing. But, rest assured, the words are all mine.

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PSS Two different languages were used to write this letter, one of which is one of the most complex languages available to mankind. It has been translated into English for you. I cannot guarantee this is the original message I intended due to inevitable errors in translations. But still you must believe the words in it or you will never be able to come and see me ever!

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Child,

 

I didn't mention this in my previous letter, but please send me money, about 10% of your income should be fine. It's not that I need the money, since I actually own everything, but it's good for you, it builds your character to give. Oh, you can just make checks out to your mom or brother, they'll be sure it gets to me. I will send some of it back to you from time to time, in the form of raises or something nebulous. All good things come from me, not from your hard work or luck. But you better work hard, 'cuz I am not going to bless a slacker!

 

BTW, did you see Ben Roethlisberger throw that touchdown Sunday? That was really me, behind the scenes. You saw how he thanked me, right? What a swell guy.

 

Love,

 

Pop

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That was great!

 

I'd like to respectfully suggest that for consistency, your reference to the child's mother and older brother be changed from, "I was there with them," to some form of, "I was never with them, either, but they know me through my having sent them this same letter."

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:lmao: !!!! The first post was kinda sad and poignant...then all the P.S.'s made me giggle! Too true!
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P.S. This letter was hand-written by your older brother, because I prefer others to do the actual writing. But, rest assured, the words are all mine.

 

I'm hitting an imaginary "Like" button over and over!

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Child,

 

I didn't mention this in my previous letter, but please send me money, about 10% of your income should be fine. It's not that I need the money, since I actually own everything, but it's good for you, it builds your character to give. Oh, you can just make checks out to your mom or brother, they'll be sure it gets to me. I will send some of it back to you from time to time, in the form of raises or something nebulous. All good things come from me, not from your hard work or luck. But you better work hard, 'cuz I am not going to bless a slacker!

 

BTW, did you see Ben Roethlisberger throw that touchdown Sunday? That was really me, behind the scenes. You saw how he thanked me, right? What a swell guy.

 

Love,

 

Pop

 

LOL all the PS's are awesome!

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PSSSS: BTW some of my letter is meant to be taken symbolically, while the rest is literal, but it's up to you to figure out which parts. Also many of the words must be changed to mean something totally different otherwise you won't get an accurate picture of what I'm saying. And remember you must not just take this letter on it's own, it must be read in context with other letters that I send you in the future. If you don't take it in context you could misconstrue what I'm trying to say to you. I also recommend that you get someone with some kind of supernatural ability to assist with your understanding because a lot of what I say can't be understood by the human mind. Remember, my ways are greater than yours.

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PSSSSS: if you are feeling guilty while doing naughty stuff, that's when I send you a buzz because I am watching you on CCTV 24/7. When you are feeling good when doing naughty things, then you must have turn off the CCTV, and I am facing power cut, and you have plugged in another evil power source.

 

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The PSS's are great, but the original kinda hit me with something - god and/or jesus revealed themselves to some people who needed the proof, yet the rest of us are not "worthy" and have to take someone else's experience...yet those people would not have believed without it. So apparently, bible god DOES pick favorites, because some are important enough to give special experiences to, and the majority of us are not.

 

Don't know why that never struck me before - granted, it has with people I know who have had an "emotional experience," but I never quite made the hypocrisy of it in the bible itself....

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The PSS's are great, but the original kinda hit me with something - god and/or jesus revealed themselves to some people who needed the proof, yet the rest of us are not "worthy" and have to take someone else's experience...yet those people would not have believed without it. So apparently, bible god DOES pick favorites, because some are important enough to give special experiences to, and the majority of us are not.

 

Don't know why that never struck me before - granted, it has with people I know who have had an "emotional experience," but I never quite made the hypocrisy of it in the bible itself....

This was the exact point of the original post. "Mother" and "older brother" are Moses and Paul. Or replace with any other bible character. Not a single biblical character had the slightest shred of faith! Yet we are supposed to? Bull shit! The letter from father to child shows how STUPID faith is, especially when the people who originally preached it didn't have any themselves!

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