Mr. Neil Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 This actually isn't something that happened to me. I'm going to keep the story vague so that I'm not naming names, but hopefully I won't lose anyone here. My cousin's best friend recently got married. When my cousin attended the wedding, much to her horror, she came to discover that her best friend, a girl that she had grown up with, had fallen in love with and was about to marry a total Jesus freak. Even worse, her friend, who I will now refer to as the bride, chose to accept Jesus into her life and join the groom's faith. From what I've been told, what was to follow was absolutely disgusting. The wedding. The reception. All of it. Basically, the day belonged to the groom. Screw all that nonsense about two people making a life-long commitment. This was to be a cerimony celebrating one man's aquisition of a mate. And Jesus, but we'll get to that. Throughout the night, the pastor who wed the couple, who also happened to be a friend of the groom, honored and praised him for his strong faith in Christ and applauded the groom for leading his new bride to the Lord. When speaking to those in attendance at the reception, the pastor quoted the groom's description of the bride as having "the mind of Betty and the body of Veronica", again alluding to how lucky the groom is for his catch. Oh but don't worry, dear reader. The pastor wasn't entirely insensative. He also made sure to express how lucky the bride was for being rescued from the perils of single life. She now had a man. No no! Don't start rolling your eyes yet! It gets better! Apparently, the groom wasn't even interested in the bride at first. He couldn't see having a future with someone who didn't share a life in Christ. Otherwise, she wasn't good enough for him. And this was announced! At the reception!!! Who does that!? When speaking of the groom, one male guest said to my cousin, "Why doesn't he just lift his leg and piss on her?". That just about sums it up, doesn't it? As my cousin told me this story, she started getting really upset while describing the reception. If the reception is to be any indication, then sharing lives together means that the bride was now required to conform to the groom's life. The whole night was about the groom. When visiting with guests, they spent the entire night talking to the groom's friends and family and almost none of that time talking to those who had come to see the bride. And what's worse, the bride is moving to California to move into her husband's home. If ever there was a time for the bride to spend time with loved ones, this was it. It's not like the groom had to say good-byes to anyone. Everyone important to him lived in California. But for the bride, this was a final opportunity to talk to friends and family, many of whom travelled from out of town, were left to mingle amonst themselves for the duration of the evening. Even the parents of the bride were treated like unimportant guests, and virtually nobody in the bride's family liked what was going on. According to my cousin, the mother of the bride was visibly holding back tears. An expression of stone, save for the slight hint of a supressed scowl. Basically, the whole night was a celebration of crushing another person's spirit for the sake of Jesus. And boy did they make a point of talking about Jesus. Jesus and male superiority. And boy, if you weren't male or believed in the salvation of Christ, this was not the place to be, and they let you know. According to my cousin, it was the most chauvinistic thing she'd ever seen. Worst of all, my cousin is afraid that she may lose the bride's friendship as a result of the groom's religious and political influence over his wife. Anyone else ever go through something like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specs appeal Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 (I bolded your text in my post; I couldn't get quotes to work...) From what I've been told, what was to follow was absolutely disgusting. The wedding. The reception. All of it. Sounds like it. I don't like to tear in and judge people, but this situation sounds a little over the top to me.. Basically, the day belonged to the groom. Screw all that nonsense about two people making a life-long commitment. This was to be a cerimony celebrating one man's aquisition of a mate. From this, and from the rest of your post, it sounds like the woman is regarded as little more than livestock. When speaking to those in attendance at the reception, the pastor quoted the groom's description of the bride as having "the mind of Betty and the body of Veronica", again alluding to how lucky the groom is for his catch. Okay, I read those comics as a kid, but somehow I'd just feel rubbed the wrong way if my boyfriend described me in terms of a couple Archie comic characters. Moreover, I'd be some embarrassed if that was repeated by the pastor at my wedding reception! (I mean, it would sound pretty weird if I said, "Oh, he's cuter than Jughead and Dilton put together!" or something. Imagine if the bride said that.) BTW, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of that part and he said "wtf" and "sounds like the pastor subscribes to 'Hooked on Comics and Stupidity Werkz for me!'" Oh but don't worry, dear reader. The pastor wasn't entirely insensative. He also made sure to express how lucky the bride was for being rescued from the perils of single life. She now had a man. There are worse things than being single, and this sounds like one of them. Apparently, the groom wasn't even interested in the bride at first. He couldn't see having a future with someone who didn't share a life in Christ. Otherwise, she wasn't good enough for him. I can understand his hesitation given the fuss about being "unequally yoked." My BF isn't a Christian, never really was, so as a new Christian I felt conflicted about that... And this was announced! At the reception!!! Who does that!? ...but I wouldn't have even done that. When speaking of the groom, one male guest said to my cousin, "Why doesn't he just lift his leg and piss on her?". That just about sums it up, doesn't it? Ew. Yeah. Like I said, it sounds like she's considered chattel. If the reception is to be any indication, then sharing lives together means that the bride was now required to conform to the groom's life. The whole night was about the groom. Sharing lives? Doesn't sound like she's going to get to do much sharing of her own. Sounds like now her life is considered an appendage of his life or something. When visiting with guests, they spent the entire night talking to the groom's friends and family and almost none of that time talking to those who had come to see the bride. I'm sorry, but I have to say that this whole scenario is too weird, too sad... Even the parents of the bride were treated like unimportant guests, and virtually nobody in the bride's family liked what was going on. According to my cousin, the mother of the bride was visibly holding back tears. An expression of stone, save for the slight hint of a supressed scowl. This just gets sadder and sadder. According to my cousin, it was the most chauvinistic thing she'd ever seen. I don't think I've ever seen anything so chauvinistic in my own life either. I just... this is wrong... Worst of all, my cousin is afraid that she may lose the bride's friendship as a result of the groom's religious and political influence over his wife. I understand her fear. He might well not want her hanging around her. Anyone else ever go through something like this? No. Never. Granted, I am young yet, but I hope I never do witness such a thing. All I can say is I'm sorry. I'm sorry your cousin might lose her friend. Above all I'm sorry the friend is in the mess. Of course, I can't gauge other people's happiness, but basically it sounds to me like she is devalued, and I just don't see this stuff as a start to a happy healthy marriage.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kryten Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 My cousin's best friend recently got married.... From what I've been told, what was to follow was absolutely disgusting. The wedding. The reception. All of it.... Basically, the whole night was a celebration of crushing another person's spirit for the sake of Jesus. And boy did they make a point of talking about Jesus. Jesus and male superiority. And boy, if you weren't male or believed in the salvation of Christ, this was not the place to be, and they let you know. According to my cousin, it was the most chauvinistic thing she'd ever seen. Worst of all, my cousin is afraid that she may lose the bride's friendship as a result of the groom's religious and political influence over his wife. Anyone else ever go through something like this? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> This is a disgusting display of Genuine Christianity. We can only hope the bride comes to her senses eventually and gets the hell out before she takes too much damage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doomguarder Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 I was invited to a baby shower a few years ago by an acquaintance. I decided to go after her hubby (a friend) requested I attend. He wanted to see what her mother and sister, both fuddies, were up too in setting up this little get together. I was not really interested but gave in because he was concerned. Apparently the mother and sister had been pressuring her into leaving him because they saw him, a musician, as not good enough for her. SO I get there and they have little plastic babies holding crosses in small baskets for each person. In the baskets are some odd breath mints with bible verse on them, little bibles, and printed passages of some “how to live your life as a christian” book. After everyone arrives, mom tries to get everyone to sit down and listen as she reads the passages from the book. At one point she says that god will protect babies if the parents are good enough and if they live the “proper” life. I unintentionally laughed out loud, oops. Mom looks at me and asks what denomination I am, and how I can laugh at god. My friends wife is standing behind her mother and shaking her head no vigorously. I ignored her and said I belonged to no faith whatsoever. Mom turns to her daughters and says that my lack of faith is putting the baby in jeopardy. SO mom stops reading and abruptly leaves the room, my acquaintance asks me to leave. I really didn’t want to be there anyways so out I go to get a mocha and read the paper at the coffee shop by my house. Her hubby calls that night and asked what I said, and I told him. I also told him it was foolish of him to send me of all the girls he knows. She will not let me in the house ever again and demanded her hubby start attending the CoC that her parents and sister attend. He has been going for years and hates every moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 Wow. Um. I'd barf if I had anything in my stomach. It's weird. I kind of don't know what to say. I'm appalled at the way the men at the wedding behaved and their attitude. It's an excellent reminder of what to fight. I'm also sort of feeling like, what was/is the bride so afraid of that she felt she had to go along with the whole thing? Getting involved with a fundie nutwacker, for one, and going all the way with it. What's she scared of? And what are the men scared of, that they feel like this is the way to be? And reading it sort of reminded me of the fundie dickweed I dated a few years ago. Only with that I refused to convert, and he ditched me. Stuff like this, well - that girl could've been me. I mean if I'd continued with it, and married him ... euugh. This would've been me (wearing the sexy white fleece): Wow, though. What a bunch of dicks. Literally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specs appeal Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 After everyone arrives, mom tries to get everyone to sit down and listen as she reads the passages from the book. At one point she says that god will protect babies if the parents are good enough and if they live the “proper” life. I can see why the laugh slipped out. :/ So, according to that thinking, if something happens to a baby, the parents will feel even worse because they will think they weren't "good enough" (BTW, I've seen those mints, Scripture Mints or something...) Mom turns to her daughters and says that my lack of faith is putting the baby in jeopardy. WTF? I just... WTF? She will not let me in the house ever again and demanded her hubby start attending the CoC that her parents and sister attend. He has been going for years and hates every moment. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That's too bad. I'm also sort of feeling like, what was/is the bride so afraid of that she felt she had to go along with the whole thing? Getting involved with a fundie nutwacker, for one, and going all the way with it. What's she scared of? And what are the men scared of, that they feel like this is the way to be? Good questions... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 I'm sorry to hear that. But maybe it is for the best. I'm also sort of feeling like, what was/is the bride so afraid of that she felt she had to go along with the whole thing? Becoming an old maid? Not having kids? Maybe there was some parental pressure involved? Makes me glad I have parents who aren't rushing me into finding someone and don't have a huge need for grandkids. But then I write a lot, and I've shared some of my writing with them, so maybe it assures them that they'll have part of myself, no matter what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Helmet Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 Excuse me while I barf... :angry: What can I say... this is just the sickest wedding I've ever heard of. I'm not one to wish bad things to others but I really hope the marriage won't last, for the sake of the bride. DH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All Gods Fail Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 And on top of everything else, in both the wedding and baby shower story, it's yet another instance of xtians having to ruin everyone's good time by cramming Jesus down everyone's throats. Can't those people keep the bible in their pants for anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiantBear Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 Two of my Christian friends got married to each other. And the emphasis was totally on the man. And how the woman could support the man. Pastor threw her a few bones in the sermon and it didn't quite get to the level you describe but it was totally sick. Another Christian wedding had a sermon about "the wife must obey her husband." Very sick. A couple other Christian weddings didn't mention it. I guess they were not biblical. *shrug* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JP1283 Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 I get weirded out now when friends tell me they are Christians. One of my co-workers, who is also one of my good friends, just recently told me about her trip to Israel. Then she asked if I was religious or not, and I said no. She said that it was "such an amazing experience to be in the place where Jesus was put on the cross..." I just kinda nodded and didn't say anything. The good thing about her is that she is a very liberal Christian, very supportive of my being gay, so I gotsta love her for that. It's just weird having friends tell you that they are Christians and that they wish you were the same. My friend Howard told me that; I told him that I wished he would wise up and de-convert, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LloydDobler Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 When speaking to those in attendance at the reception, the pastor quoted the groom's description of the bride as having "the mind of Betty and the body of Veronica", again alluding to how lucky the groom is for his catch. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Betty was f'n hot! What the hell? I never understood why everyone wanted Veronica, she was such a bitch! My experience with this was shortly before I got married, an old school preacher we ran into at a church asked my bride to be if she was 'ready to submit'. She laughed at him. We were christians at the time but she was far too feminist to tolerate that doctrine. Quite frankly so was I. But I just deferred to her to blow off the preacher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 Neil, MooZe buddy of mine got hitched in an arranged setup done by the parents, both families. Was one of the few *whiteboys* in attendance. (man I felt good packing my 38 under my suit jacket..) The ceremony was done in what passes for Persian-Iranian and in english for benefir of the crowd. Was more a religious service than a *traditional* American wedding. Bubba, that lil lady was given to him as a bondswoman and damn near slave, to do as he bid, and would have him dictate.. The more I heard of what was expected of her and how this *contract* gave him all rights the more I am glad hat in amerika she can get an attorney... Senario you describe sounds morelike this kinda shit than where Free, Knowledgeable, Intelligent Americans freely bond for their lives.. Fuck the fundies of all stripes.. k, amazed, L. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixoverme Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 They call them...are you ready for this???....TestaMints Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlinfmct87 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Neil, I read your story and I'm utterly mortified. There isn't a big enough word to describe the atrocity this story relates. I'm utterly sickened, and thourghly disgusted. I can only hope she'll wake up and really see the shithole she just buried herself into. Merlin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Neil Posted October 20, 2005 Author Share Posted October 20, 2005 Yeah, what's worse is that we're now finding that it's precisely as bad as we all feared. My cousin is just crushed, because she's basically lost her friend to Christianity. Nobody's heard from this woman since the wedding. Nobody can get ahold of her. She's not returning calls. Nothing. She's living the Christian life now, and she's left her sinful life behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhampir Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Testamints. I remember those. Funny enough I was introduced to them at a christian wedding. Some obscure cousin or something (not even sure if it was the bride or groom I was related to) that I didn't know before and haven't seen since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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