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Goodbye Jesus

Christians Are Like Pumpkins...(Seen On Facebook Status)


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Posted

Here is what a christian friend posted as her facebook status:

 

"Being a Christ follower is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch and washes all the dirt off of you. He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate and greed. He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

 

I think I may vomit. So first he chooses some and leaves the rest in the dirt. Then his chosen ones get a lobotomy so that their minds, and every bit of independent thought, are emptied out, and a stupid grin is carved in place. Then they're put on display and start getting rotten and moldy...

  • Super Moderator
Posted

I thought pumpkins had free will.

Posted

Here is what a christian friend posted as her facebook status:

 

"Being a Christ follower is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch and washes all the dirt off of you. He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate and greed. He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

 

I think I may vomit. So first he chooses some and leaves the rest in the dirt. Then his chosen ones get a lobotomy so that their minds, and every bit of independent thought, are emptied out, and a stupid grin is carved in place. Then they're put on display and start getting rotten and moldy...

 

So the all powerful "god" need to use a pagan object to teach his "children" his plan for their life?? :Hmm:

Posted

this made me think of XTC's Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead:

 

Posted

I thought pumpkins had free will.

 

Of COURSE they do! It's still their fault if they're not picked.

  • Like 1
Posted

How much you want to bet that centuries from now people will be arguing about putting the "Christ" back in "Christ-o-ween"?

 

Phanta

Posted

How much you want to bet that centuries from now people will be arguing about putting the "Christ" back in "Christ-o-ween"?

Well, it is Reformation Day. And All Saints Day is the next day.

 

mwc

  • Super Moderator
Posted
Posted

I think I may vomit.

 

Appropriate reaction.

Posted

A few years ago, I went to a party with the kids and this was the premise behind our pumpkin carving. I thought it was silly then. I think conservative christians just want a way to participate in something so obviously pagan. It's like the Jehovah Witnesses that I knew who didn't exchange birthday presents but went ALL out for anniversaries. Or didn't have a halloween party but did have a costume party. :shrug:LOL.

 

freedom

 

 

Posted

I admit it. I used that as a lesson when I was a "teacher"

you may stone me now.

I just wanted to carve pumpkins with the kids- and to make the parents feel good about it!

 

But you are right Brain, it IS a lobotomy object Lesson!

*slaps head

Posted

I've heard this tripe before. It's another piece of sugar-coated nonsense where they try to make a pagan holiday "ok."

And, yes, the likening of making a christian to a lobotomy did not escape me the first time.

Posted

I like pumpkin pie.

Posted

Like any pumpkin, once it has been used, it is discarded in the trash or tossed into the street to get smashed by traffic. Either way, the end result is not good for the pumpkin, not to mention the candle they stick up the thing's butt to light the porch! 'This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine ...' Xtians try real hard to create modern parables and fail as miserably as the old ones do.

Posted

 

He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

 

 

Let the light shine I say ....... :HaHa:

 

predator-pumpkin-300x260.jpg

 

evil_pumpkin_carving-13845.jpg

 

evilpumpkin.jpg

Posted

I'm not sure christians should want to be compared to a lantern Stingy Jack carries around because he's not allowed into heaven nor hell. o.-;

 

But what am I saying? Of course! They don't even know their own book, why would they know why people used to carve jack-o-lanterns in the first place?</div>

Wendyshrug.gif

Posted

Here is what a christian friend posted as her facebook status:

 

"Being a Christ follower is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch and washes all the dirt off of you. He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate and greed. He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

 

I think I may vomit. So first he chooses some and leaves the rest in the dirt. Then his chosen ones get a lobotomy so that their minds, and every bit of independent thought, are emptied out, and a stupid grin is carved in place. Then they're put on display and start getting rotten and moldy...

And when Halloween is over, he throws you out with the garbage.

Posted

ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE TRUE CHRISTIAN. PUMPKINHEAD!:

 

21qFTpnTq7L._SL150_.jpg

 

What a smile! Feel the love!

Guest riverrunner
Posted

I love Smashing Pumpkins.

Posted

I think I may vomit.

 

Appropriate reaction.

 

pumpkinvomit2.jpg

Posted

I love the analysis of this analogy... Christians are empty-headed with pasted-on grins. Great stuff!

Posted

He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

 

 

Let the light shine I say ....... :HaHa:

 

predator-pumpkin-300x260.jpg

 

evil_pumpkin_carving-13845.jpg

 

evilpumpkin.jpg

 

O MY Fucking GOD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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