Vendredie Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I think I'm done with Facebook. No, not because of privacy breaches and annoying fundies (the fundies leave me alone for the most part despite the fact I put something silly as my religious views every once in a while). Well, technically it is fundies. But not all of them are. There's been a sudden baby boom on Facebook since I left my hometown for college. I already have one friend who had a baby back in the spring, and she's a little younger. But since then, on Facebook I've found out a bunch of people are having babies. -my friend, who just turned 18 and had her baby in August -another friend, who I didn't see for a long time, and is now apparently a felon and may be having her baby today (she's 18) -my friend and once next-door neighbor, who got married in June and is now 10 weeks pregnant (she's 19) -my ex-boyfriend's 14 year old sister who just started high school and will be having her baby next month... or early January? -A friend of a friend who is 19 and giving birth today... apparently she's not married, but goes to Liberty University. -my friend from color guard who got pissed off when the guard instructor freshman year accurately predicted she'd be pregnant out of high school -my friend who graduated after my freshman year of high school, who is also married. But at least she's 22. -Not a friend, but a girl my sister knows from school. Add all of this to the friend above, plus: -A girl who got pregnant by the track coach at the time (!) -a girl who dropped out of band my freshman year -A girl who I saw in the halls a lot but never knew her name until she walked into the guidance office one day with her baby -A girl I apparently know who had an abortion -a girl I've known since middle school somewhat vaguely, who hangs out with a mutual friend of ours Let the Facebook Baby Boom commence! My school really has terrible sex ed (read: almost none at all). And a lot of them are Christians, pretty devout ones too. Add that to, well, rural North Carolina, and that's why the more liberal Christian girls (and the one Egyptian Pagan) don't have abortions (two of them had multiple abortions. WTF.) So I'm probably just being a horrible, judgemental bitch, right? ugh. I have the feeling I'm the only sexually active high school graduate in my county who's heard of birth control. Like seriously. I'd rather pay $10 a month for pills or $30 for patches, or maybe more for more permanent forms of birth control, than pay a thousand or so for an abortion, or thousands/hundreds for doctor's appointments for a baby I'm just going to give up, or $200,000 over 18 years to support someone completely dependent on me, especially if it's just me and the father runs off (which luckily doesn't seem to be the case for most of these girls). I don't get the rush to be married at 18. I don't get the rush to have kids at 17, 18, 19, whatever. (22 is a tad young for my taste, but it's better than 18!) I know most of the mothers quite well and for the most part they're quite mature. But really? Most of them just got out of high school. Two have only finished like, one year of college (the other is getting her associate's in May). I can't imagine the thought of being stuck to a man barely older than me forever, and having a child at 18. I've just started college. I want to travel. Sex is fun, babies are cute, but I don't want babies now, if ever. I feel like a lot of them are throwing their futures away. I feel like my school system failed a whole bunch of girls and boys. Is it really so terrible to teach kids to even use a condom properly? But I'm just being a horrible, judgemental bitch to afraid to say anything on Facebook because I'm supposed to be nice and shit, and I really don't want to add to the shit they're probably already getting for having kids so young. But damn, if I see another ultrasound picture I'm going to fucking lose it. Babies are cute, fetuses are not, they're creepy alien things INSIDE YOUR UTERUS AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THE INSIDES OF UTERI REGARDLESS OF HOW CUTE THE CONTENTS MAY BE. Even if it's my friends' uteri. For me it's like looking inside other, less "miraculous" organs. Uteri aren't even that fucking miraculous, THERE'S NEARLY SEVEN BILLION FUCKING PEOPLE ALIVE RIGHT NOW. And the population will only get closer to seven billion.
Super Moderator florduh Posted November 5, 2010 Super Moderator Posted November 5, 2010 Don't drink the water.
foolish girl Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I think they should let you teach the sex ed. You obviously know what is goin' on. I don't think you are a horrible bitch. Just take a deep breath and feel free to abstain from FB. OR open a new username and invite only whom you like.
BrotherJosh Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 I'm having a similar experience!! Half of my friends or school mates are now married/have kids. One of my good friends from childhood, who I actually rather enjoy talking to still, has a Facebook page completely taken over by baby pictures. EVERY status update is about her spawn, what they did, what they are doing, or what it just puked up. It gets old really quick! Good luck deleting your Facebook page though...
Vendredie Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 I think they should let you teach the sex ed. You obviously know what is goin' on. I don't think you are a horrible bitch. Just take a deep breath and feel free to abstain from FB. OR open a new username and invite only whom you like. This may be a good idea. In fact, I should change my major and become a sex ed teacher. Would shatter everyone's illusion that I'm a chaste angel, and I'd love to see the looks on everyone's faces in the future when I tell them I'm a sex ed teacher. Should provide some lulz. It would probably be more useful than poli sci, anyway. Though I'd have to brush up on the birth control other than condoms, pills, patches, and rings, and probably state laws as I doubt I'd find a job teaching actual sex ed in North Carolina. If I did I'd immediately be fired for not telling little middle-school girls to close their legs for their future husbands.
ExFundiDCLawyer Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 That is pretty much what happened with my wife and I. We were both raised in a fundi, baptist school where there was no sex-ed at all, except for the general preaching against fornication. Neither of us knew what the hell we were doing really, but of course that doesn't stop horny teenagers. She got pregnant when she was 19, having just finished hight school. I was 22, but still had no clue who I was or what I wanted to do. We were forced(ok, maybe not forece, but definetly strongly coercied) to go infront of the church and confess our "sin" (man I wich I could do that speech over again - it would be much more entertaining ). We got married, and of course, being good xtians, we had two more children over the next 3 years. I would not trade my children for anything, but man I wish I could go back and slow it down. Now, 10 years later, I am finaly about to finish law school and get us on track financially. My wife, on the other hand, is just now starting school (she stayed home - was the good xtian wife). What they forget to tell you is the emotional and financial stress this will all cause. I finished the deconversion process in the last year (my wife is basically at the same point, but still calls herself a xtian) and looking at our former church we see things much more clearly. We are constanly invited to weddings from people who are barely 18, fortunantly we live on the other side of the country now, so we have an excuse not to go. My wife's own sister is now finishing high school this year and is being pressured to go to a "bible" college. She is a little rebellious, so hopefully she will take our advice and go to a real school. The only thing that worries my wife and I about that is that she, like us, is woefully unprepared for real life. I think if she does go to a real college my wife will fly up there and take her to get birth control!
sciencemike Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Vendredie, your observations sort of mirror mine (though granted since I didn't fit in with the high school crowd I don't know nearly as many girls so there are probably a lot more in my class who ended up like the girls you described). Many of the high school girls in my class (now 5 years later) are married and actively reproducing. One of my close friends from elementary school, at the age of 23, has 3 kids of her own, was married and divorced and now re-engaged to some really sketchy-looking guy who himself has two prior kids. Another friend constantly posts pictures of her pregnant belly (every few days it seems), but none of the pictures show her face at all, so the sight is a bit awkward because at first glance I have no idea who that is. Not to mention this same friend also had her (and her husband) profile picture being the ultrasound image of her fetus (which is quite alien-like and freaky). What made it worse was that I still have no idea what her husband looks like, as the only image he has is the picture of this ultrasound fetus (creepy). Yet another friend I think regrets her decision to not go off to college as her posts indicate that she is in an unhappy marriage and is constantly stressed out having to take care of her kid. Did my school have sex ed? In middle school yes, high school no. And even then it was opt-in only with parental permission required, so the fundy parents would be happy to not teach their kids sex ed. Clearly from just my anecdotal case this policy has failed.
Moxie Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 This. Is. Absolutely. Ridiculous. There are over seven billion humans on the planet. Aside from hormones, what are these people thinking (or not thinking)?! Is there some sort of residual fear in them that their "tribe" will die out if they don't reproduce? Why is it that, even with a neo cortex that has evolved over millions of years in homo sapiens, people still act so tribal? And what about the babies? They did not ask to be brought into a world such as this. It seems that more young women are into pregnancy for the shock value and the status that comes with being in "the cult of the mother". I feel terrible for the babies.
ExChristianAuthor Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Ven, we're neighbors. I am 13 miles from the NC state line in the foothills of the Smokeys in Tennessee. We give rural a new meaning HAHA I took my 17 year old daughter out of public school for a year because EVERY SINGLE one of her friends was pregnant. I already raised 3 kids... I AIN'T RASIN' NO MORE!!! My 16 year old son won't date any of the girls in school because they are all pregnant, have already had babies, or want to have a baby. Smart kid. All of these kids are from extremely fundie Southern Baptist families and many go to youth group weekly. But they are "forgiven" Gimme' a fucking break! Teenagers having babies seems to be epidemic here in the "bible belt" More like Hypocrisy belt.
Vendredie Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 Ven, we're neighbors. I am 13 miles from the NC state line in the foothills of the Smokeys in Tennessee. We give rural a new meaning HAHA I took my 17 year old daughter out of public school for a year because EVERY SINGLE one of her friends was pregnant. I already raised 3 kids... I AIN'T RASIN' NO MORE!!! My 16 year old son won't date any of the girls in school because they are all pregnant, have already had babies, or want to have a baby. Smart kid. All of these kids are from extremely fundie Southern Baptist families and many go to youth group weekly. But they are "forgiven" Gimme' a fucking break! Teenagers having babies seems to be epidemic here in the "bible belt" More like Hypocrisy belt. We're pretty distant neighbors then, I'm near the beach and a few miles from the VA state line! Despite our proximity to the Hampton Roads MSA it's fuckin' bare out here! I dunno what Tennessee's like but here in NC it's state law to teach abstinence. I'm assuming it's about the same across the mountains. A lot of guys here though whine that there's no girls to date because they're either ugly or pregnant. Guess I fall into the "ugly" category. Your kid's smart though, if I were a guy I wouldn't date a pregnant girl either. Or one who actually wanted to be pregnant in high school. Out of curiosity, how many of your kids' classmates are married? I had about 5 get engaged, and I actually knew two people who got married over spring break. Hypocrisy Belt indeed! I'd love to see Jesus pay a visit here.
SilentLoner Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Don't feel bad, Vendredie. You're one of the few people who seem to call it like it is and don't tiptoe around being PC. There was probably one pregnant student the whole time I was in high school and she was in another grade. Makes me glad I never got around to joining Facebook. I was acually considering it this morning but then I read this thread, lol. But damn, if I see another ultrasound picture I'm going to fucking lose it. Babies are cute, fetuses are not, they're creepy alien things INSIDE YOUR UTERUS AND I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THE INSIDES OF UTERI REGARDLESS OF HOW CUTE THE CONTENTS MAY BE. Even if it's my friends' uteri. For me it's like looking inside other, less "miraculous" organs. Uteri aren't even that fucking miraculous, THERE'S NEARLY SEVEN BILLION FUCKING PEOPLE ALIVE RIGHT NOW. And the population will only get closer to seven billion. Good to know its not just me who think fetuses are wierd. The first time I saw a fetus picture I think I jumped.
OpheliaGinger Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Let me guess, all these people come from either working poor or lower middle class families and are Baptist. Am I close?
piper Posted November 5, 2010 Posted November 5, 2010 Ven, we're neighbors. I am 13 miles from the NC state line in the foothills of the Smokeys in Tennessee. We give rural a new meaning HAHA I took my 17 year old daughter out of public school for a year because EVERY SINGLE one of her friends was pregnant. I already raised 3 kids... I AIN'T RASIN' NO MORE!!! My 16 year old son won't date any of the girls in school because they are all pregnant, have already had babies, or want to have a baby. Smart kid. All of these kids are from extremely fundie Southern Baptist families and many go to youth group weekly. But they are "forgiven" Gimme' a fucking break! Teenagers having babies seems to be epidemic here in the "bible belt" More like Hypocrisy belt. Hello Ex-Author, I told some friends your tale of dealing with bitchy christian authors, and they basicly said that if I didn't know who the 'ex-author' was or the 'bitchy ones' they wouldn't believe it. So could I get your author name? If that is too private, fine. I was hoping to be able to shut them up!
Vendredie Posted November 5, 2010 Author Posted November 5, 2010 Let me guess, all these people come from either working poor or lower middle class families and are Baptist. Am I close? For most, yes, though one's atheist and another is Egyptian Pagan. I figure it's safe to assume the others are Baptist. I'm not entirely sure they're all working class though. I mean I'm a little above middle-class, but really, condoms aren't that expensive. Neither are pills. you don't need a sex ed class to know how to take a damn pill... or use a patch...(to be fair the pill didn't work out for me, I was nauseous damn near 24/7 and the periods were most definitely not improved at all)
Midnight-mindwanderings Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 I always have a pang of... something (like guilt) when I hear about young girls getting pregnant. I was 19 when I first got pregnant. I am 23 and I have two kids already and my husband and I were never fundies. However where I live (especially of my friends) its very uncommon. I have one friend my age with a kid and one friend who is pregnant for the first time. I have one friend who is a christian who is engaged. That's it for me. My mormon friend wants to be married and have kids so badly it hurts. She is old for a single childless Mormon woman. Thats one thing our area doesn't lack much is Mormons and she had a constant stream of weddings over the summer and now attends a stream of baby showers. She loves this shit and it annoys her so I can't imagine how much worse it is for you! Still I got pregnant when I was 19 quite unexpectedly and the father was only 18 and had no job. We had very supportive families however and he joined the Air Force so we could take care of our family. We are not representative of the norm and I know that. But it lets me know that sometimes it works out for the young parents out there. It may work out for one or a few of your friends. Encourage them to use more successful bc after they have the baby like an IUD or the shot. Because take it from me, one is hard but two kids is exponentially harder. Haha the hospital I delivered the last baby from would give you an IUD for free if you said you were too poor for birth control. I can imagine the annoyance though. I know its hard to see people who are probably only having kids out of ignorance. People who had almost no choice in the matter because of their ignorance. Girls who will likely never get an education. But I shudder to think of living in the rural deep south. I know its prejudiced, and I am sure there are nice things about it, but I am a city girl. For a change of scenery, try going to CU Boulder.
SilentLoner Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 I mean I'm a little above middle-class, but really, condoms aren't that expensive. Neither are pills. you don't need a sex ed class to know how to take a damn pill... or use a patch...(to be fair the pill didn't work out for me, I was nauseous damn near 24/7 and the periods were most definitely not improved at all) Have you considered an IUD? Pretty much anyone can get one despite the ads you tend to hear say, you don't have to be married, or "done" having babies. Its targeted towards women who are have given birth since makes the insertion more comfortable but I know people who haven't had kids who got IUDs and they say its not so bad. I really think IUD's are underused as birth control - but in a lot of ways it could be the answer to teenage pregnancy in a lot of cases. It can last anywhere from 5-10 years, so say a 16 year old got it she'd be protected from pregnancy at least until she's 21.
Vendredie Posted November 6, 2010 Author Posted November 6, 2010 I mean I'm a little above middle-class, but really, condoms aren't that expensive. Neither are pills. you don't need a sex ed class to know how to take a damn pill... or use a patch...(to be fair the pill didn't work out for me, I was nauseous damn near 24/7 and the periods were most definitely not improved at all) Have you considered an IUD? Pretty much anyone can get one despite the ads you tend to hear say, you don't have to be married, or "done" having babies. Its targeted towards women who are have given birth since makes the insertion more comfortable but I know people who haven't had kids who got IUDs and they say its not so bad. I really think IUD's are underused as birth control - but in a lot of ways it could be the answer to teenage pregnancy in a lot of cases. It can last anywhere from 5-10 years, so say a 16 year old got it she'd be protected from pregnancy at least until she's 21. Actually, no, because I actually did think it was for women who have already had kids, and heard that it was painful having it inserted. Plus I keep hearing of nasty side effects. If it's not so painful I'll definitely consider it, and it does sound like it would be a good idea for teens. I'm on the patch, and the only reason I threw up last week (see other thread) was because I couldn't get the prescription filled in time and started the cycle two days late. It's rather painful taking it off but overall it's much better than the pill. Edit: I did some research on the IUD. It costs $500-$1000.
SilentLoner Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 Edit: I did some research on the IUD. It costs $500-$1000. Yeah, the price is about the only downside. But you can try and check with your local Planned Parenthood, one of my friends who was low income got the entire thing was done free of cost there. They have programs to offer assistance based on income and/or whether you lack insurance coverage. I don't know that every PP facility has the programs but its worth looking into.
Vomit Comet Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 I was born and raised in Los Angeles, but most the people around me were Mexicans and poor whites, so half the girls I knew were pregnant by age 16. One day we were just carefree teenagers and then *BAM* half the girls I knew were going around with beach balls under their shirts. And before you knew it, the sound of screaming infants was absolutely everywhere. It was like a fucking epidemic outbreak or something. The Mexican girls virtually all had a fair amount of Catholic baggage, though not as strong as the influence of fundyism would be for their white Southern counterparts, I suppose. The white girls mostly came from mostly irreligious backgrounds (typical for L.A., you would think), though some were half-assed fundies who'd show up to a youth group out of boredom and get fucked by some dude she met there later that night. I can say with confidence that the white girls were more likely to get abortions. Again, they lacked the Catholic baggage of the Mexican girls. The chicks who took fundyism seriously were far less likely to get pregnant. Incidentally, they did a study on abstinence pledges: kids in schools where more than half of them take a pledge are far more likely to fail. Whereas when less than 30% do they're far more likely to succeed because they're a beleagured minority who gets shit for it, so they band together and get all hardcore. That would describe most the serious fundies I knew, though there were plenty of half-assed not-really-fundies who probably just showed up to youth group out of boredom and to maybe score a date or something. If the sex ed was shitty, it wasn't shitty in that Bible Belt kind of way. It would have been more like the lack of a budget ensured they simply didn't receive enough of it. The other component is that working class and particularly lower class lads of any race aren't often the most considerate type, and are lookin' to get their dicks wet without the inconvenience of having to trudge down to 7-11 to get rubbers just when things are getting hot and heavy. Well, now I live in Las Vegas and am surrounded by highfalutin types who have graduate degrees and do research and whatnot for a living. Half of these women will go to their grave childless and the other half, save for one or two "up by my bootstraps" types who got knocked up like the girls you describe and decided to go to college anyways, probably won't start squirting them out until well into their 30s. So I guess I've gone from one extreme to the other.
Thurisaz Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 I think they should let you teach the sex ed. You obviously know what is goin' on. I don't think you are a horrible bitch. Just take a deep breath and feel free to abstain from FB. OR open a new username and invite only whom you like. 120 % agreed.
Thurisaz Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 ...A lot of guys here though whine that there's no girls to date because they're either ugly or pregnant. Guess I fall into the "ugly" category. ... Just as a sidenote, no. Tastes vary of course, no one is everyone else's "type", but unless pics we've seen of you were photoshopped well, we can rule out "ugly"
Vendredie Posted November 6, 2010 Author Posted November 6, 2010 I think they should let you teach the sex ed. You obviously know what is goin' on. I don't think you are a horrible bitch. Just take a deep breath and feel free to abstain from FB. OR open a new username and invite only whom you like. 120 % agreed. I was actually considering making a YouTube video having a "long, awkward talk" with North Carolina. I decided against it because I'd never be allowed within 50 miles of my county if I actually did that.
R. S. Martin Posted November 6, 2010 Posted November 6, 2010 The other component is that working class and particularly lower class lads of any race aren't often the most considerate type, and are lookin' to get their dicks wet without the inconvenience of having to trudge down to 7-11 to get rubbers just when things are getting hot and heavy. Good on you for mentioning this "other component." I think there is something very wrong-headed when all the fault is heaped on the head of the female. But I know from experience that even in a culture with abstinence only rules, this level of teen pregnancies (discussed in this thread) is not necessary. There seems to be a serious lack of concern among elders as well as ignorance among kids if this is going on. A few years ago, an older member on these forums said he had been taught that the first child can come any time but after that it takes nine months. I see such an explanation as indicative of a serious lack of concern for the implementation of abstinence. For abstinence to work, much teaching and training needs to be done long years before a child (both sexes) hits puberty, not to mention ages fifteen or sixteen. Where I come from, in my specific community, there were no teen pregnancies.
Vendredie Posted November 6, 2010 Author Posted November 6, 2010 If the sex ed was shitty, it wasn't shitty in that Bible Belt kind of way. It would have been more like the lack of a budget ensured they simply didn't receive enough of it. The other component is that working class and particularly lower class lads of any race aren't often the most considerate type, and are lookin' to get their dicks wet without the inconvenience of having to trudge down to 7-11 to get rubbers just when things are getting hot and heavy. This is a good point. Boys and girls were usually separated in the middle-school sex ed classes, and from what I heard of the boys' classes, a lot of the bullshit was more about masturbation and porn but really paying lip-service to the whole anti-sex ed thing. Add that on top of a rural area where the nearest convenience is 10-15 minutes away, and where a lot of the sexually active folks are either too young to drive or too poor to get more gas than what was needed for school. I was lucky to get a free condom that I found in my bookbag one day. I'll give some of the couples the benefit of the doubt, that their birth control failed... but really? that many pills/condoms failed? I know they're not 100% effective but damn...
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