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The Lord Said To Noah


foolish girl
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I went to pick my daughter up from "Bible Time" after church today. I couldn't believe it. They were talking about Noah's Ark. My Daughter says to the "teacher"..."Well, didn't the animals eat each other??!!"..."Nooooo" he says gently..."God told them how to behave, and they did it!"

"So they didn't eat each other????!!!"

"Noooo, they were all FINE!"

"Ok!"

 

I am standing in the back of the room by a friend. He is the husband of the girl I take pictures with...And that girl is the preacher's kid.

I turn to him and say "Hey Jess, What did the animals eat when they got off the ark?"

"huh?"

"You know, when all the vegetation was dead, what did the herbivores eat? And what did the carnivores eat? If they ate the herbivores, then they wouldn't have been around to replenish- And how did all of the animals get on ALL of the different continents without leaving a fossil trail? And why are there viruses and parasites that plague animals in certain areas of the world and not others...wouldn't they have all spread around the ark and distributed evenly?"

 

HE says *blink.........................Blink* "woah. That's Deep"

 

"no it's not, it's really not."

"Yes it is, that's deep"

"The questions are logical, don't you think?"

 

"You think too much, you shouldn't think so much"

 

"Well, Jess...THAT'S called cognitive dissonance, and I'm not having it".....

 

_exit scene_

 

LOL!

HAHAHHAHAHAHahahahahhaaha

The next step is to lay it on a Sunday School class.

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"You think too much, you shouldn't think so much"

The key to religion.

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  • Super Moderator

That was superb.

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"You think too much, you shouldn't think so much"

The key to religion.

 

 

+1

 

LMAO

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As deep as the waters of that great flood.

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Another fine example of how you are a Not-So-Foolish Girl. 3.gif

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Yeah, it doesn't take much deep thought to completly blow holes in the Noah story but when you have "god magic" all things are possible. And that's the usual excuse they use, that god provided a way.

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Gawd totally is unchanging! He just doesn't require us to do some things anymore! He has his raisins don'tcha know.

 

When I was taught the ark story I was less concerned about the animals and more concerned about what Noah's Wife's name was. The priest had no idea and was a little blown away that a 5 year old had just informed him that any lady that goes along with her husband building a giant boat is important enough to deserve her name in the bible.

 

I have also decided that as for the animals not eating each other, well, that was the real demise of the unicorn.

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Excellent example of asking the RIGHT questions about a story that should not be taken as anything other than a myth!

 

And thanks SO much for putting that "Children of the LORD," Floody floody song in my head AGAIN!

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Gawd totally is unchanging! He just doesn't require us to do some things anymore! He has his raisins don'tcha know.

 

When I was taught the ark story I was less concerned about the animals and more concerned about what Noah's Wife's name was. The priest had no idea and was a little blown away that a 5 year old had just informed him that any lady that goes along with her husband building a giant boat is important enough to deserve her name in the bible.

 

I have also decided that as for the animals not eating each other, well, that was the real demise of the unicorn.

And the dinosaurs that didn't fit on the boat to begin with.

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Your daughter has been taught well. We need more people like her in this world.

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And the dinosaurs that didn't fit on the boat to begin with.

Velociraptor jerky is chewy, but nutritious

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It's true. There was a worldwide flood.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A flood of bullshit as high as you can see.

 

This was a great story, by the way! (The post, not the flood.)

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Most of this stuff makes sense if the word "world" in these texts was translated from something that actually meant "area"

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Most of this stuff makes sense if the word "world" in these texts was translated from something that actually meant "area"

Not as much as you might think.

 

If you have the foresight, time and ability to build a boat large enough to put your family, supplies and animals onto then you have the time and ability to just lead them away to another region where the flood won't cause you any problems. It would have taken far less time and resources to pick up and move than construct a boat of any meaningful size.

 

mwc

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:grin:

 

I laughed. Though this guy is giving us with the name "Jess(e)" a bad rep.

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Most of this stuff makes sense if the word "world" in these texts was translated from something that actually meant "area"

Not as much as you might think.

 

If you have the foresight, time and ability to build a boat large enough to put your family, supplies and animals onto then you have the time and ability to just lead them away to another region where the flood won't cause you any problems. It would have taken far less time and resources to pick up and move than construct a boat of any meaningful size.

 

mwc

 

Also, even if "world" is more accurately translated as "area," there is still the problem of gathering two of every animal in the area. We're still talking about a whole lot of animals that have to be cared for, stalls cleaned, fed, and kept from eating each other. And then there's the problem of two verses fourteen of each kind of animal (Genesis 6:19-20 (two of every kind of animal) vs. Genesis 7:1-3 (seven pairs of clean and one pair of unclean animals)). And then there's the problem that Noah was ordered to bring food for all of these animals and the question of where it would be stored and how the meat for the meateaters would be kept from going bad. Genesis 6:21.

 

Then there's the problem for the reason for the flood. Who were the sons of God who were marrying human women?

 

1 When human beings began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them, 2 the sons of God saw that the daughters of humans were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose.

 

Genesis 6:1-2.

 

Who were the Nephilim?

 

4 The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of humans and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.

 

Genesis 6:4.

 

No, one can't make this crazy story make sense.

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You are gutsy. I can't believe you did that. Good for you.

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...and the question of where it would be stored and how the meat for the meateaters would be kept from going bad.

 

Speaking of meat, I love those folks who insist that no animal was a carnivore before the fall. They had those razor sharp teeth for cracking coconuts, or something.

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I had a sunday school "teacher"reply,to the diet of the carnivores, that they drank milk provided by noah's family!

 

I grew up on a dairy farm and asked her,"so they had more than one cow?" her reply..."no they milked all the other animals too"

 

Then got punished for "asking inappropriate questions" to be stubborn and disturb the class.

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And then there is the problem that the flood story as we have it today is actually two stories, one from the P source, and one from the J source, edited together. Two stories with conflicting details about the where the water came from, how many animals were on board, the reason for the flood, and most telling, the length of the flood.

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