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No Family, No Friends, Bored 24/7


ThinkingForMyself
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This christmas I will be all alone. No family ever calls. I have no friends. My co-workers all complain about me every day. I wonder if this christmas I'll finally be fired.

 

Weekends are brutal. Sundays I sleep all day and think about what a pathetic loser I really am. Nobody wants anything to do with me. My teeth are all rotted out, I can just barely make ends meet, I'm considered a stupid moron at work (all everybody does is complain about how wrong my work is).

 

Anyone else in the same boat?

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You remind me a lot of a former friend. He made the decision that he was useless and pathetic, and therefore he was.

 

You mentioned you have no friends and family never calls you. If anyone DID call you, what would you talk about? How awful your life is, how work sucks, how no one likes you? No one wants to hear about a 24/7 pity party.

 

In another post, you said your mother is very "negative". You're clearly carrying on the family tradition.

 

I would recommend medication or counseling at the least. Your life isn't going to be very fun until you figure out how to stop your "I'm worthless" thought processes and learn to move in a different direction.

 

I'm not trying to give a "snap out of it" speech, I recognize that depression is a serious condition because I had it for over a year. But sitting on a forum and posting about how miserable you are is not going to do a bit of good.

 

You deserve to be happy, but you're responsible for your own happiness. No one else.

 

Go see a doctor, a counselor, a therapist, whatever. But get help and start living life.

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You remind me a lot of a former friend. He made the decision that he was useless and pathetic, and therefore he was.

 

You mentioned you have no friends and family never calls you. If anyone DID call you, what would you talk about? How awful your life is, how work sucks, how no one likes you? No one wants to hear about a 24/7 pity party.

 

In another post, you said your mother is very "negative". You're clearly carrying on the family tradition.

 

 

I agree.

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accidentally replied twice. sorry.

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My advice in the short term is to go for a run, and get some endorphines moving. If I start to get like that, some physical activity usually helps to knock myself out that mindset.

 

I'm sure you know this already, but the last thing you want to do is pray to a non existent god or blame it on the devil. Because remember… god is good all the time (except when he’s not) In the long run, I say you should set goals for yourself and work hard to meet them. <BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break">

 

Your teeth are rotting out? All you gotta do is BRUSH and FLOSS! It’s an easy fix unless it’s too late and you need more extensive dental work. You have no one to blame but yourself on that one.

 

 

 

You have no friends? Think hard about why you have no friends. There is a REASON why you have no friends, and you need to find that out, so you can fix it. Being self aware is very important. Do you rant and talk about negative things all the time? Well nobody wants to be around that, at least not at first. If nobody calls you, why don’t you call them? It could be something as simple as not looking at someone in the eyes when they talk. Maybe you talk too much and rarely listen. Maybe you don’t shower enough. Maybe it’s a combination of all the above. You have to earn friends and the respect of people. It doesn’t just come automatically.

 

 

 

Regarding work, if you really have no capability to improve your work, then it’s probably better that you move on and find something that’s a better fit. However, my guess is that you probably have a hard time motivating yourself and it’s more of an emotional thing.

 

 

 

I hated how Christianity prevented me from being self aware. I was taught my issues were due to something irrelevant and abstract such as my sin, pride, or satan. All I had to do is be humble, pray, read the bible, and let god be god. LOL…Let god be god.. WTF does that mean haha!?!? YOU have to look at your OWN issues, figure out what’s wrong, and work at it to get it fixed. Nobody’s going to help you but yourself.

 

 

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Go work in a homeless shelter for Xmas. It'll get you out of the house and help you feel good by helping others out.

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Agreed with what everyone said, start taking a night class, volunteer at the animal shelter, go to the library and get some books, go on a run, go for a drive, go out to a bar, make some friends and have some fun. Don't feel so negative about yourself, otherwise you'll just become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Friends just don't drop out of the sky, you have to make friends first. Check out the local paper for any interesting events like a book reading, a poetry jam, a book club, a chess club, a poker tournament or whatever sounds interesting. If you feel that you are depressed then seek out counselling and potentially begin searching for medication.

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This christmas I will be all alone. No family ever calls. I have no friends. My co-workers all complain about me every day. I wonder if this christmas I'll finally be fired.

 

Weekends are brutal. Sundays I sleep all day and think about what a pathetic loser I really am. Nobody wants anything to do with me. My teeth are all rotted out, I can just barely make ends meet, I'm considered a stupid moron at work (all everybody does is complain about how wrong my work is).

 

Anyone else in the same boat?

 

Whilst I agree with most of the advice given, I do not believe that life is a one size fits all affair and that proscribed advice or ways of doing things work for everyone. Christmans is no different from any other day of the year. If you apportion meaning to it that makes it lonlier than any other day because of some stupid cultural belief, thats just silly. If people complain about you there must be a reason. Have you explored what it is that you do that annoys people? Might be worth exploring.

 

Sounds to me like your biggest critic is you. If you don't want to be a loser ( I don't agree they even exist), then don't. Think about what you want, then put your energy into making it happen, instead of wasting what energy you have on feeling bad about it.

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I am in your boat as far as the teeth go. And who ever said it was your fault is full of shit. It's absolutely fucking ridiculous that it costs so much to have your teeth fixed in this country.

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I am in your boat as far as the teeth go. And who ever said it was your fault is full of shit. It's absolutely fucking ridiculous that it costs so much to have your teeth fixed in this country.

 

 

I agree with this. I have always tried to take care of my teeth and it seems I always have something that needs to be fixed. I do believe some people have a genetic disposition to having bad teeth. Both of my parent have had dentures since their early 40's.

 

As far as the rest of the OP goes. It does sound like you might be dealing with depression. I have had these feelings myself even though my rational mind knew that there was no reason for this. The "just fix it" advice is no help at all and actually can make you feel worse.

 

 

Taking the first step in dealing with it is the hardest step.

 

I would suggest checking out some depression forums and talking to other people who have the same issues. It's free and you might find some strength talking to people with the same issues.

 

Also, if you would like to talk one on one, you can always PM me.

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Go work in a homeless shelter for Xmas. It'll get you out of the house and help you feel good by helping others out.

 

 

Good advice! I've done this a few times. I found that helping other people whose problems are worse than mine takes my thoughts off my own troubles. Besides, I enjoy helping people when I can.

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I am in your boat as far as the teeth go. And who ever said it was your fault is full of shit. It's absolutely fucking ridiculous that it costs so much to have your teeth fixed in this country.

 

 

I agree with this. I have always tried to take care of my teeth and it seems I always have something that needs to be fixed. I do believe some people have a genetic disposition to having bad teeth. Both of my parent have had dentures since their early 40's.

 

I never floss and brush an average of once/twice a day, and I haven't had a cavity since I was a kid. Not one. The hygienist always tells me how strong and healthy my teeth are. Then he/she asks me if I floss and brush regularly and when I answer honestly, I get a lecture about needing to floss more. Really? Doesn't seem so.

 

On the other hand, a co-worker brushes and flosses religiously and she is constantly in for dental work.

 

There seems to be a strong "nature" component...or maybe I just ate a lot of dairy as a kid and not a lot of sweets.

 

Phanta

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Guest Babylonian Dream

I'll echo what others have said. I'm not just saying this as some forumer who used to be christian and has friends here I want to copy. No, I was in your shoes when I was 15. I may not have had the dental issues you do, or any of the other problems you may have. My problems were caused by my mother, someone who is narcissistic, selfpitying, abusive (used to also be physical, but now mostly just verbal), and seemed to just want to make everyone around her's lives miserable, as miserable as hers was. Christianity lead me to believe that my problems were with God, God was punishing me, and not that it was the way I was interacting with society around me. I came very close to suicide. I was depressed, on top of having issues with anxiety and stress from being abused and having no way out in sight.

 

You know, life can be shit. You can either choose to accept that, and continue to wallow in gloom, or you can take that lemon life threw at you and throw it back demanding a cookie! If it gives you a cookie, throw it back, go after more! Try to get the best possible out of your life. You can make yourself happy. Trust me, I've been there. While I'm still dealing with my home situation, I'm still doing my best to stay positive, and it works! You just have to think yourself to happiness, and then work to make your life around you happier.

 

You may not have the healthiest of teeth, and you should try to do better with your hygiene, genetic predisposition or not. That won't negatively affect you if you don't let it. My brothers teeth are rotting, even his toes since he refused to get his ingrown toenail removed. Yet it hasnt stopped him from being happy and staying happy.

 

Life likes to get worse before it can get better, it is up to you to make it better for you. It's up to you whether or not to try.

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