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But Mommy I Don't Like Church


DrummerScott
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NOTE: I'm writing this on the fly...so I apologize for grammar/spelling/stuff that doesn't make sense...Also beware of a wall of text....

 

So here I am, at ex-christian.net....denouncing my religion.

 

I was a Roman-Catholic. The good old style of church where you are brought up with God, The Bible, and Praise the Lord Jesus. I believed it all because, well, that was how I was brought up. My mother was an incredibly faithful person and she pushed (more like forced) me to be the same way as her. I went through the sunday school classes and sat in mass every week like every good boy should. I went with the church and did community service. I felt good. I must admit, the church can instill positive morals and values into people without any direction. But, my good feelings were short lived as I grew older. I realized my mothers racism and UN-acceptance of other people and their cultures. I could remember driving past a hindu-temple (relatively close to our home, also VERY large) and hearing my mother say "Those stupid dot-heads don't even take a bath once and a while". I almost started to believe it all. Everything she said and all the comments about the Blacks, Mexicans, Jewish, Muslims and Atheists. I was close to being just like her. The perfect Catholic.

 

I got to high school and things quickly changed. I got engaged in the material I was learning. Material that covered religions and cultures of the world. After learning about other people in the world, I realized how ignorant I was while growing up. I quickly gained my bearings and realized that my mother was just incorrect about these people and my religious beliefs didn't suffer. But my relationship with my mother did. I started challenging not only my mothers racism but pretty much anything that went on between us. I was met with an overbearing hostility from her. She respond to me in logical discussion; she rather yell at my rebuttals of her ideas. Not having some support (or logical refute to my claims), took a serious toll on me. I became depressed (it was not all her fault) and I still deal with it today.

 

Today I am trying to gain my bearings on what I believe in. I feel like I am an agnostic but my I still cannot find my true beliefs. But heck, I'm not going to figure things out over night...good things take some time. What I am more stressed about is the fact that my mother, who is still incredibly religious, will not open up to the fact that I'm not a catholic or even christian. She always said, "Without faith and without God you have nothing". It angers me every time that she explains the profound truth of God and Jesus because I desperately want her and my family to know my views. But at the same time I can't tell people for my own sake. Everyone around me is religious and finds atheism, agnosticism or any other religion to be absolutely wrong and blasphemous.

 

So I am in the closet here, hiding in my own beliefs because I am afraid of what will happen if I show them. Hopefully being here will act as a nice sanctuary for me. I'm glad to contribute and answer any questions you have.

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Good things take some time. Hopefully being here will act as a nice sanctuary for me.

 

You are definitely getting started on the right foot. Thanks for posting and welcome to ex-c!

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Welcome!

 

Yes, ExC is a sanctuary -- as long as you stay out of the Lion's Den! wink.gif

 

You've found the best place on the web to work out your deconversion.

 

BTW, I'm a former catholic also and very happy to say former!

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Hi Drummer Scott.

 

This place is a sanctuary for me! It can be for you too.

 

It is scary to change, but the willingness to change is a sign of intelligence :). It is normal for your family to resist what you are saying. They have a deep physiological need to protect their faith.

Here is an article that ilovemybrain shared with me once:

 

Why bad beliefs won't die

 

Take a read. Take comfort. Take your time. Be free.

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Thank you all for your responses! I'm looking forward to contributing here. Also, thanks for that article...it was a very good read.

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Welcome to the forum! I'm pretty new here too but this place is awesome.

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Hey I don't really feel like making a new topic but what do you guys recommend for some good reading material? I was looking around the ExC amazon store but there is really a bunch of books and I'm not sure what to look for.

 

Thanks!

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Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell

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Why Evolution is True, Jerry Coyner

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Hi Drummer Scott.

 

This place is a sanctuary for me! It can be for you too.

 

It is scary to change, but the willingness to change is a sign of intelligence :). It is normal for your family to resist what you are saying. They have a deep physiological need to protect their faith.

Here is an article that ilovemybrain shared with me once:

 

Why bad beliefs won't die

 

Take a read. Take comfort. Take your time. Be free.

Ah, there it is! Thank you - I was trying to find this link recently and didn't know where I filed it.

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Hi Drummer Scott.

 

This place is a sanctuary for me! It can be for you too.

 

It is scary to change, but the willingness to change is a sign of intelligence :). It is normal for your family to resist what you are saying. They have a deep physiological need to protect their faith.

Here is an article that ilovemybrain shared with me once:

 

Why bad beliefs won't die

 

Take a read. Take comfort. Take your time. Be free.

Ah, there it is! Thank you - I was trying to find this link recently and didn't know where I filed it.

It's like a good man....just KEEPS comin' up :wicked:

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Hey I don't really feel like making a new topic but what do you guys recommend for some good reading material? I was looking around the ExC amazon store but there is really a bunch of books and I'm not sure what to look for.

 

Thanks!

Yes I second what Eugene said - Leaving The Fold is a good book about the emotional and psychological healing you work through after deconversion.

 

Godless, by Dan Barker, is a good read about a worship leader who deconverted - he does a very good job of explaining why Christianity doesn't make sense, and why it is very reasonable and rational to doubt it.

 

Atheist Universe by David Mills is a good overview of why atheists don't have a belief in any gods. (I know you mentioned you're an agnostic - this just may be good food for thought).

 

Another one I really like, although it's not as concise or well-organized, is a book you can download free from project Gutenberg, or manybooks.net - it's called Superstition In All Ages, by Jean Meslier. He was a priest who no longer believed, but at the time it was written it was very dangerous for him to be a heretic so he wrote out all the reasons xianity is BS and I think it was then published after he died.

 

Also "Age of Reason" by Thomas Paine (another old book u can get for free).

 

Hope this helps!

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Thank you all for your suggestions! I'm hoping to find some deals on amazon for some used books. Unfortunately they really can't be xmas presents :P. I'm also thinking of actually picking up a bible and reading it along with the skeptic annotations I find online. Probably a daunting task...but I think its something I should be at least familiar with.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you all for your suggestions! I'm hoping to find some deals on amazon for some used books. Unfortunately they really can't be xmas presents :P. I'm also thinking of actually picking up a bible and reading it along with the skeptic annotations I find online. Probably a daunting task...but I think its something I should be at least familiar with.

 

In addition to reading books on atheism I suggest reading some books on the history of the Christian Church and Biblical criticism. See how Christianity was a doctrine that developed over the centuries. The books that did this for me were "The Christian Tradition" by Jaroslav Pelikan. Pelikan. The effect was really amazing on me. I found out things about church history I never knew before. Not positive stuff, to be sure. People are simply not taught the history of Christianity in churches.

 

If you want to pursue reading about evolution and science, I recommend Dawkins and Carl Sagan.

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i was a catholic too,but now a proudly muslim.May Allah guide you to the straight path brother.thnx for sharing.

 

I should rather say, may reason and inquiry guide you to reality.

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In addition to reading books on atheism I suggest reading some books on the history of the Christian Church and Biblical criticism. See how Christianity was a doctrine that developed over the centuries. The books that did this for me were "The Christian Tradition" by Jaroslav Pelikan. Pelikan. The effect was really amazing on me. I found out things about church history I never knew before. Not positive stuff, to be sure. People are simply not taught the history of Christianity in churches.

 

If you want to pursue reading about evolution and science, I recommend Dawkins and Carl Sagan.

 

Thanks for the suggestion. The history of the church was never taught to me in religious education classes. Seems pretty ironic...

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I would suggest God Is Not Great if you want to understand how religions can harm the world at large, of course people flying planes into buildings is probably a more recent reason. You could also use the whole wide internet to study different religions. You might go to meetup.com and find a local agnostic group. Also, leaving the fold is a staple for those recovering from religion.

 

Do you still live with your mother? Are you completely dependent on the church for social acceptance and friendship? If your answer is no to both of these I would consider comming out to her, but that is just me.

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I'm definitely not reliant on the church for anything at all. And as for living with my parents well...I'm in college and living away but I mean I'm close enough that I can come back and forth periodically. I guess the best way to put it is I don't exactly have a place of my own. I she really is to much dependent on god for me to come out and tell her blatantly...meh I'll find the right time and place I guess.

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