3 Reasons

[Margee]

There are only 3 reasons that I can think of right now, of why I even 'served' God.

 

1.To become a really good person so God would approve of me. I wanted to win 'his' favor and get what I wanted. (kind of like winning the slot machines)

 

2 To impress people and show them how wonderful I was. (I had really low self es-teem back then)

 

3.. So I wouldn't go to hell.

 

Why did you once 'serve' God? Thanks for the comments!

[StriveForTolerance]

1) I thought there was no other option.

 

2) To further my own agendas and learn things I thought I couldn't learn elsewhere. I still do this; I use the church to learn drama (skits, "human videos" and the like), music, public speaking, subtle manipulation, emotional performance, etc.

 

3) I thought I was doing good.

 

4) It gave me people to look up to, and people to look up to me.

 

5) I was lonely.

 

I'm sure there were other reasons, but #2 was the big one, even now. I feel a little guilty, but I've accepted the fact that my tendency is to use things for my own good.

 

As for hell, I never let myself think about it clearly enough to be afraid of it until I deconverted, so I can't say that makes my list.

[ebonileigh]

The main reason I was seduced by christianity was to 'fix' my marriage. I am now 62yrs of age, however, when I was 37 my marriage was horrible, to say the least, I had been married since I was 20, to an abusive alcoholic, but at that point I still loved him and had continually hoped that he would change, and when I was seduced into christianity, hardcore fundamentalism, I was promised that if I completely gave myself over to god, total submission to him, the church, and my husband that he would be 'saved' and my life would be totally changed, so began the next 12 years of waiting, hoping, praying, being in submission to everyone, indoctrination, brainwashing, serving, pleading, suffering, suffering, abuse and more and on and on it all went, until I escaped 11 years ago with my 2 adult children.

So, I guess my 3 reasons would be summarised by saying: to fix my marriage, to have a better life, and have some friends. None of which happened.

[oddbird1963]

I always felt like an outsider in my community and at my school because a lot of my peers went to church. I didn't know what it was about. A girlfriend invited me to a Vacation Bible School one summer. She dumped me a week later (did she use me to meet a quota? IDK), but I kept going. I "got saved," baptized and attended faithfully from there on out.

 

I was still pretty much the outsider. But, hey! I learned a few bible verses and how to make the less fundamentalist Methodists mad at me!

[OpheliaGinger]

I had one reason, and one reason only: to not go to hell.

[dB-Paradox]

Good topic! Reading Margee's reasons, I could identify very well. Basically, I wanted to:

 

1. Win God's favor and avoid hell

2. Sound impressive to other Christians as well as non-believers. This was partly due to a low self-esteem. But more than a 'pick-me-up', it was a way to elate myself above others.

 

I think this would be a good question to ask current believers. It *might* get them to think about why they actually serve, although most likely would do nothing except make them defend their belief even more.

[Darklady]

The main reason I was seduced by christianity was to 'fix' my marriage. I am now 62yrs of age, however, when I was 37 my marriage was horrible, to say the least, I had been married since I was 20, to an abusive alcoholic, but at that point I still loved him and had continually hoped that he would change, and when I was seduced into christianity, hardcore fundamentalism, I was promised that if I completely gave myself over to god, total submission to him, the church, and my husband that he would be 'saved' and my life would be totally changed, so began the next 12 years of waiting, hoping, praying, being in submission to everyone, indoctrination, brainwashing, serving, pleading, suffering, suffering, abuse and more and on and on it all went, until I escaped 11 years ago with my 2 adult children.

So, I guess my 3 reasons would be summarised by saying: to fix my marriage, to have a better life, and have some friends. None of which happened.

 

Very similar reasoning's here, except my ex was from a fundamentalist background anyway, but i too thought if I did everything right i would have a good marriage with a husband who would support us financially, care for us emotional and love us as well as a father for my kids who actually liked and loved them (none of which happened).

[ClaraOlive]

1. Unaware of other options or unable to explore them

2. Afraid of disappointing parents

3. Fear of hell

4. Thinking that if I could believe enough or have enough faith or have the "personal relationship" with god, then I would discover love for god, as well as having all the things in my life that Christians talked about - the fruits of the spirit, inner peace, the comfort of the Holy Spirit, etc. What I asked for was not selfish - I asked for the ability to love god and have my relationship with him become real to me... Over 10 years, god didn't answer once, and if he couldn't or wouldn't answer that kind of request, then even if there were a god, why should I worship a lying god?

[R. S. Martin]

I wanted peace--the "peace that passeth understanding" in Romans or is it Corinthians, and as described in the Beatitudes. I was told peace came through complete obedience and submission to parents, church, and ultimately god.

 

Of course, parents and church represented god so I think of them as "god's reps." Well, long story short, I tried it, along with all the meditative tricks suggested by the wise men and women of the community, but when after forty years it still didn't work I decided god and all his reps were wrong.

 

Yep. I had the audacity to face down that whole bench full of black-suited Men of God and simply walk out of their congregation.

 

That day, something inside of me snapped. Never again can any authority in heaven or earth hold such power over me as did those men in black.

 

Admittedly, the fear of hell clung to the back of my mind for another ten years but it did not have the power to stop me.

[Margie Rice Ohrenberger]

i have an addictive personality, also OCD so I really think I was addicted to religion.

 

I was an extremely devout catholic - daily mass, monthly confession, ran the religious ed at my church, even began a degree in theology.

 

I got involved with Medjugorje and that fed my addiction even more, as devotees of this tend to compete amongst themselves to be seen as the most "religious: and feed off the daily "apparitions" and "messages" of this and many other Marian apparitions.

 

I also got a boost from feeling superior to others - totally convinced that the catholics had the only true church.

 

I never feared hell because i was convinced I was too holy to end up there ! But I knew I would do lots of time in purgatory so I earned as many indulgences (yes, catholics still do that !) as possible to reduce my time there.

 

I am often amazed at how stupid I was, the worst part is I forceed this on my kids !

[decafaholic]

such a good topic!

 

While I don't think hindsight is always accurate, I'll give it a try. I served god because

 

1.I wanted to earn God's approval

2.I wanted the approval of my youth pastors/pastors/teachers

3.I wanted to be special and different

4.I didn't want to go to hell

[pratt]

not sure about you guys, but i am sure i served god in various capacities because

 

I WAS CALLED.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, looking back, what a laugh

[Margee]

not sure about you guys, but i am sure i served god in various capacities because

 

I WAS CALLED.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, looking back, what a laugh

 

Yeah Pratt - we were the 'chosen ones'!

I forgot about that! What a 'title' to have ! No wonder I was so happy!

[NoGods]

At first, to please my family and later to avoid going to hell.

[ebonileigh]

I wanted peace--the "peace that passeth understanding" in Romans or is it Corinthians, and as described in the Beatitudes. I was told peace came through complete obedience and submission to parents, church, and ultimately god.

 

Of course, parents and church represented god so I think of them as "god's reps." Well, long story short, I tried it, along with all the meditative tricks suggested by the wise men and women of the community, but when after forty years it still didn't work I decided god and all his reps were wrong.

 

Yep. I had the audacity to face down that whole bench full of black-suited Men of God and simply walk out of their congregation.

 

That day, something inside of me snapped. Never again can any authority in heaven or earth hold such power over me as did those men in black.

 

Admittedly, the fear of hell clung to the back of my mind for another ten years but it did not have the power to stop me.

"That day, something inside of me snapped. Never again can any authority in heaven or earth hold such power over me as did those men in black." That really resonates with me, I took the power back, after much counselling and psychotherapy, and regained my self respect and self esteem, after escaping the cult, I had the courage and fortitude to escape my abusive and alcoholic husband, and I have never looked back. I hate religion and all superstition for the barbaric harm it has caused and still causes on human and animal kind.

When will this world be rid of the madness that is religion.

[SirPhoenix]

Two main reasons for me:

 

1. Avoid hell - I can't even put into words how abhorant I think the doctrine of hell is. It's extortion at it's worst.

2. To get help coping with life - I'm an introvert by nature, and I don't deal with change all that well. For many years, having a god construct gave me an outlet for my senseless worries. I can sometimes obcess about things over which I have no control. Casting my burdens on god did help, but it was sort of how methadone helps heroin adicts. Giving god my senseless worries was better than obsessing, but it didn't do anything to really get to the heart of the problem. I never had an issue dealing with things over which I had clear control. I just did what needed to be done. I don't need a god contruct anymore. I realize that every difficult time in my life that I got through, I got through on my own. If I did it then, I can do it now.

[Galien]

I was nine when I became a christian. I have OCD leanings and a scrupulous conscience. I was also in a children's home after my alcoholic father had abandoned my family and we had been thrown out on the the street when I became a christian. Bottom line was I felt guilty for Jesus having to sacrifice himself for me, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life making sure I was worthy of that sacrifice. I was convinced it was all my fault. I wanted god to be the parent I never had, structure and relationship. I just wanted to be good. Still do.

[dB-Paradox]

I just thought of another reason....because my parents were Christians and served Jesus. I think the stats are something like 95% (or higher) of all children adopt the religion of their parents.

[Super FZL]

Why did I serve God? I need but one word: guilt.

[seeboh]

1) My parents told me to

2) Everybody else was doing it

[Margee]

Two main reasons for me:

 

To get help coping with life - I'm an introvert by nature, and I don't deal with change all that well. For many years, having a god construct gave me an outlet for my senseless worries. I can sometimes obcess about things over which I have no control. Casting my burdens on god did help, but it was sort of how methadone helps heroin adicts.

 

God, SirPhoenix ---- can I ever relate to this one!! ME TOO! I really miss this part of it!

[HRDWarrior]

1. I was brainwashed into it from childhood on (raised in a very fundy home and area)

2. To avoid hell

3. To try to get what was promised (a sense of God's hand in my life, that warm feeling, etc....never got any of it, but the brainwashing, along with a few other residual issues from my childhood took some time to wear off).

 

There may have been some effect of trying to please my parents in there, it was the one thing I did that made my mom happy. I don't think I cared too much about pleasing God, but didn't want to piss him off too much, either. Fear of unavoidable punishment was much more motivational for me than pleasing someone, since I saw almost no benefit to pleasing them (I got the same stuff whether they were pleased or just not pissed off, so why put forth the extra effort if you get nothing for it?). Much of what I did was because I was led to believe there were no other options...until I joined the military, I didn't even have any contact with anyone who wasn't a Christian of some sort, and the ones who weren't of the fundy variety I had very, very limited contact with - so I honestly knew nothing else. I was homeschooled from 3rd grade on, and our only friends were people from church. We had occasional contact with other people in 4-H, but even then they were all Christians of some flavor (other than ONE person, and she really was the odd man out). Everything my parents did was to force me into the religion...apparently they feared for a good reason - I do think and analyze things, and I'm guessing that deep down my mom knew I'd see through it if I was given the opportunity, so her only hope was to make sure I was so deluded by it I'd ignore everything else. Didn't work (obviously) since once I was away from being surrounded by it, it was a short while until my views changed radically.

[Suzy]

1) Because I didn't want to go to Hell. (I can't say though I was really impressed by Heaven. I just didn't want to go to Hell.)

 

2) I didn't want to be damned and thus unlucky on this Earth.

 

3) Because my father told me at the age of 12 this was the truth.

 

There was really no any other reason!

[Vomit Comet]

1. Initially, I thought it was because I was "broken" or "fucked up" and that getting right with God would make everything, make me all better. They didn't hit me with the freaky "hell" shit until a little bit later, and prior to my conversion at age 15 I grew up in blissful West Coast ignorance of serious fundamentalism.

 

2. Later on I got a hair up my ass, like I was fighting on the "right side" of an eternal war or something. I remember getting really into Christian metal, as the good old bands such as Slayer were abruptly made verboten. A lot of it was shit about going into glorious battle against demons and the godless horde, etc. etc. Anybody who remembers late 80s early 90s Christian speed/thrash metal (Tourniquet, Deliverance, Mortification, Vengeance Rising, Betrayal, etc.) will know exactly of what I speak. They basically took the "Satan's horde of psychotic zombies is going to rape and eat your sister" silliness of secular thrash/death metal and Christianized it, the difference being that the secular metal bands mostly knew it was make-believe. (A few nuts, such as Glen Burton, aside.) So I thought that there was this ultimate eternal cosmic war and that I was one of the "good guys."

[Margee]

1. Initially, I thought it was because I was "broken" or "fucked up" and that getting right with God would make everything, make me all better. They didn't hit me with the freaky "hell" shit until a little bit later, and prior to my conversion at age 15 I grew up in blissful West Coast ignorance of serious fundamentalism.

 

2. Later on I got a hair up my ass, like I was fighting on the "right side" of an eternal war or something. I remember getting really into Christian metal, as the good old bands such as Slayer were abruptly made verboten. A lot of it was shit about going into glorious battle against demons and the godless horde, etc. etc. Anybody who remembers late 80s early 90s Christian speed/thrash metal (Tourniquet, Deliverance, Mortification, Vengeance Rising, Betrayal, etc.) will know exactly of what I speak. They basically took the "Satan's horde of psychotic zombies is going to rape and eat your sister" silliness of secular thrash/death metal and Christianized it, the difference being that the secular metal bands mostly knew it was make-believe. (A few nuts, such as Glen Burton, aside.) So I thought that there was this ultimate eternal cosmic war and that I was one of the "good guys."

 

I can remember singing songs about the 'army of god' and 1,000 people (big Church I went to) would get up and march around. I really believed that I was a 'solider' for god!