Brought None Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 I just wanted to add a little more to this post because I 'live' with this 'genetic,' gene gone wrong' and I've watched the devastation caused by people not understanding homosexuality. Please read this and thank you for letting me get my feelings out. If people would only read about this affliction! But they won't. I asked my pastor to read a book . It was written by a 'Christian' doctor who explained the whole genetics. When I joined his Church - I told him the truth that my boy was gay. He promised me that in his Church, there would be NO mention of homosexuality, because his Church promoted 'grace'. He also told me that all I had to do was to get my boy on his knees and ask the lord Jesus Christ 'to come into his heart' - and then sit back and watch what the lord would do!10 years later - nothing has changed. My boy is still a homosexual. One morning - I almost had my boy convinced to go to Church with me, but he was scared that they would make fun of him. I promised him that our pastor told me that homosexuality was no worse 'sin', than anger or lust of the eye, wine, wild parties, etc............ and that god still loved him. At the last minute - he changed his mind and did not go. thank god!! This is a true story - I have no reason to exaggerate this. I went to Church that morning and sure enough - - - - the pastor threw in some comment on how god wanted man to be 'paired' with women. He made a huge joke about Adam and Eve -NOT ADAM AND STEVE. The whole Church broke out in hysterical laughter and I froze in my seat. I got up and left the church.Te whole congregation saw me crying when I abruptly walked out. They weren't there the days that my little boy came home from school beaten up. It got to the to the point that I had the schools bring in a 'professional' councilor and go to every class to talk about accepting all races of people,homosexuality, etc............ I wrote the pastor a 3 page letter explaining what my boy went thru in his life (including the next door neighbor that wouldn't let her son hang around my boy!)They were 10 yeas old at the time! But it was already quite obvious, because he had so many feminine traits. I did not go back to Church for 2 weeks. The pastor finally called me and we had a meeting. He apologized and told me it would never happen again. I explained to him how I almost had my boy talked in to going to Church that morning and how, once again - he would be the joke and ridicule of the Church - at his expense. I was so angry. I never asked him to go to Church again, because I wouldn't take the chance. I can't believe that I actually went back to that Church - but I did (like an abused wife stays with her husband) and I stayed another 2 years before I walked out the door for good. I say all this because know that many people who have been brainwashed in the Church on the subject of homosexuality, do have a hard time realizing that most of the time - it is genetic. We are now in the process of helping him with his eating and alcohol addictions and doing every thing in our power to build up his self esteem. This poor boy had it so hard. He lost his mom at 8 years old (I brought him up from that point) and then he was 'cursed' with being gay. I remember standing at my patio doors one summer night ,screaming uo to the heavens (with hatred in my heart) saying to the 'god' - ''Why the f can't you ever give me a 'normal' life? It's been hard. But were really working on the whole thing. I have him at this point of his life of being very proud of who he is. It's great to see him laughing. thank you for listening and letting me get this out today. Margee, if I could see you in real life right now, I would give you such a big ass hug. You are truly an awesome human being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 9, 2011 Moderator Share Posted January 9, 2011 Broughtnone -''Margee, if I could see you in real life right now, I would give you such a big ass hug. You are truly an awesome human being. '' .............................................................................................................................................................................. Broughtnone - here's a big ass hug (and kiss on your cheek!) for you today too! Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brought None Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Broughtnone -''Margee, if I could see you in real life right now, I would give you such a big ass hug. You are truly an awesome human being. '' .............................................................................................................................................................................. Broughtnone - here's a big ass hug (and kiss on your cheek!) for you today too! Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brought None Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 My best friend just told me how she was almost outed by a 90 year old at her work the other day. The woman was asking her why such a beautiful woman such as herself is not married with kids at the age of 40, and my friend just shrugged it off and said "well, if it happens it happens". Then the woman came back the next day and was embarrassed that she "didn't figure it out" and said, rather loudly, "you're gay, aren't you?" To which my friend kind of shh'd her. Now, my friend is not what one would call a "butch", so it is not obvious to people unfamiliar with gay people, but I was kinda dismayed at the realization that my best friend can not be her complete self in every situation in her life. I work in theatre so I'm used to being surrounded by gay people, and I've been friends with her for over 5 years now, and it actually slipped my mind that she has to be careful who she reveals her sexuality to. It's a shame that people don't realize that they didn't choose to be straight, so why do they think gay people choose to be gay? It boggles my mind, really... Living in the Bible Belt this is the major aspect I live with daily. I'm surrounded by straight people 24-7. I've only come out to one person at work I've gained trust in. The boss I don't trust to know, cause he has negative views politically about gay marriage. I do want to be in a location where I can be myself and not have to worry daily and censor myself around people. Where to move to, I don't know right now cause of the economy. California has always been of interest to me. It really is a straight mans world... I sit and hear guys at work comment about attractive women. Would love to make a comment about "Oh Hugh Jackman sure was hot in that X-Men movie". Still haven't come out to my own parents yet. It's such a minor part of myself, yet society has made into this difficult stumbling block that makes it so difficult to move forward in many aspects of life. Depression is one thing I myself am working on as well as isolation. Growing up in a Church of Christ I was taught that homosexuals were vile and disgusting lesser people who were not to be trusted around your kids. Still have the teen lesson book they gave us which sports a section on homosexuality with the phrase "Every right gained by homosexuals is a lose for Christians" in it's margins. (Would love to upload full page scans of it here or send it to anyone who is interested in it, just PM me) That is what was expressed during lessons and implied heavily during sermons and jokes members would make after church. I'm sure I have internalized this to a great amount. Am working on self confidence and learning to be more expressive and not to fear emotions so much. Repression has been the norm for me since it first clicked I was gay back in Junior High. Still getting used to just being around gay people at the gay bar. Even when scared shitless I don't display it emotionally. I learned to unplug my emotions from being displayed like a tv screen when younger, and it's something that I don't like at this point. Looking back at photos of myself as a kid I was very expressive till Junior High came around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 10, 2011 Moderator Share Posted January 10, 2011 My best friend just told me how she was almost outed by a 90 year old at her work the other day. The woman was asking her why such a beautiful woman such as herself is not married with kids at the age of 40, and my friend just shrugged it off and said "well, if it happens it happens". Then the woman came back the next day and was embarrassed that she "didn't figure it out" and said, rather loudly, "you're gay, aren't you?" To which my friend kind of shh'd her. Now, my friend is not what one would call a "butch", so it is not obvious to people unfamiliar with gay people, but I was kinda dismayed at the realization that my best friend can not be her complete self in every situation in her life. I work in theatre so I'm used to being surrounded by gay people, and I've been friends with her for over 5 years now, and it actually slipped my mind that she has to be careful who she reveals her sexuality to. It's a shame that people don't realize that they didn't choose to be straight, so why do they think gay people choose to be gay? It boggles my mind, really... Living in the Bible Belt this is the major aspect I live with daily. I'm surrounded by straight people 24-7. I've only come out to one person at work I've gained trust in. The boss I don't trust to know, cause he has negative views politically about gay marriage. I do want to be in a location where I can be myself and not have to worry daily and censor myself around people. Where to move to, I don't know right now cause of the economy. California has always been of interest to me. It really is a straight mans world... I sit and hear guys at work comment about attractive women. Would love to make a comment about "Oh Hugh Jackman sure was hot in that X-Men movie". Still haven't come out to my own parents yet. It's such a minor part of myself, yet society has made into this difficult stumbling block that makes it so difficult to move forward in many aspects of life. Depression is one thing I myself am working on as well as isolation. Growing up in a Church of Christ I was taught that homosexuals were vile and disgusting lesser people who were not to be trusted around your kids. Still have the teen lesson book they gave us which sports a section on homosexuality with the phrase "Every right gained by homosexuals is a lose for Christians" in it's margins. (Would love to upload full page scans of it here or send it to anyone who is interested in it, just PM me) That is what was expressed during lessons and implied heavily during sermons and jokes members would make after church. I'm sure I have internalized this to a great amount. Am working on self confidence and learning to be more expressive and not to fear emotions so much. Repression has been the norm for me since it first clicked I was gay back in Junior High. Still getting used to just being around gay people at the gay bar. Even when scared shitless I don't display it emotionally. I learned to unplug my emotions from being displayed like a tv screen when younger, and it's something that I don't like at this point. Looking back at photos of myself as a kid I was very expressive till Junior High came around. This is so awful when a human cannot be who he really is. When I talked to my gay boy about my disbelief in God, I told him that this to me, was exactly what it must be like if I came out of the closet and admitted that I was gay. I know that I would be rejected by a few, and others would look at me real weird. My 'Gay' issue is not 'coming out' right now with all my christian friends about who I really am about my beliefs. Same damn thing. We will be judged unfairly. What a dilemma to be in - to have to hold something so secret. I am slowly working on my 'people pleasing' issues. Everyday - I get stronger and stronger and hope to eventually get to a point where I will just be simply OK if they can't except me. I am also a 'recovering alcoholic' and I am very proud of the fact that I have stayed sober for 20 years. As soon as people know this about me - they look at me different??? I am the same ole' person I always was - but I choose not to drink alcohol anymore. No big deal. But ,yes it is to many people - alcoholics are BAD people. Lots of people think this - even when you are sober! By the way - If anyone wants to know - Religion led me to alcohol - but ,that's another story if you ever want me to write about it! As soon as one is a little different, they are not as accepted in the 'normal tribe'. This is the stuff that infuriates me! That people think we should have all been freakin' robots. A 'Stepford wifes' society! I guess the only thing I can think of right now (for me) is to 'come out' little by little until I can see who is going to stay my friend and who is going to reject me. I am also working on 'being rejected' and not taking it personally. Good luck my dear wonderful friend, as you start to reveal, bit by bit to the world, who you really are! Another hug for you tonight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolish girl Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Brough None, who wrote or published that booklet? Church of Christ is what I am dealing with too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugene39 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 When I talked to my gay boy about my disbelief in God, I told him that this to me, was exactly what it must be like if I came out of the closet and admitted that I was gay. Exactly. Gay people can have two comings-out: one for their sexual orientation and the other about their religious beliefs. One is bad enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnight-mindwanderings Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Brough None, who wrote or published that booklet? Church of Christ is what I am dealing with too. I was Church of Christ too. I didn't remember who wrote our booklets, but I found out through a search. James Meadows wrote several of the books we used. They study through the new testament and we also had through for teens in particular: God Speaks to Teenagers vol 2. Also A young woman's walk with God which was not helpful at all for any of the problems I had as a teen. Go figure. We also did the books on other religions and how they are wrong. Cause that's CoC for you. Because the books were older, there wasn't a lot directly talking about homosexuality except as some abstract horror. It was almost like a dirty word no one wanted to actually talk about it directly. But I remember in particular one member would often complain that he passed a LGBT non profit headquarters building near his house and how offensive and awful it was. He simply couldn't stand having to look at, acknowledge or otherwise share airspace with 'the homosexuals'. It was ridiculous. That same guy totally flipped out when I dyed my hair pink once too. I was already on my way out, but his overreaction certainly helped speed things along. One good thing about him, he ditched the church by standing up at the end of a service and essentially said 'fuck you all' before leaving. The church had just 'withdrawn' from his wife who suffered from severe depression (she didn't attend services that would make her much more depressed). So yeah Church of Christ. Makes a lot of atheists and they're a small sect as it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brought None Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Brough None, who wrote or published that booklet? Church of Christ is what I am dealing with too. Book was called: Straight Talk for Teens: What the Bible says to Teens about Todays Moral Issues. By Randy Simmons So fitting the cover is in blood red. It's even more fitting the entire inner pages are black and white print. The cartoon illustrations are something to see to. Mine shows a copyright of 1987, 4th printing, 1991. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolish girl Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Brough None, who wrote or published that booklet? Church of Christ is what I am dealing with too. Book was called: Straight Talk for Teens: What the Bible says to Teens about Todays Moral Issues. By Randy Simmons So fitting the cover is in blood red. It's even more fitting the entire inner pages are black and white print. The cartoon illustrations are something to see to. Mine shows a copyright of 1987, 4th printing, 1991. Holy Shit. I've seen this before! At a church a few years a go they "walked" the youth group through this. ugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolish girl Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 Brough None, who wrote or published that booklet? Church of Christ is what I am dealing with too. Book was called: Straight Talk for Teens: What the Bible says to Teens about Todays Moral Issues. By Randy Simmons So fitting the cover is in blood red. It's even more fitting the entire inner pages are black and white print. The cartoon illustrations are something to see to. Mine shows a copyright of 1987, 4th printing, 1991. "Straight Talk"...no doubt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Objet_trouve24 Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 I can't find the study I read about, but it indicated that male homosexuality appeared to be more genetic and female homosexuality appeared to be more a result of hormones in the womb but there are a variety of factors that can influence sexuality and its different for each person. Most of what makes up our sexuality we are born with. I think bisexuality is something they should research a bit too. It seems like most the reason 'ex-gay' ever happens is a person is actually a bisexual. I think people are too quick to draw the line between gay and straight without considering the scope between them. I'm bisexual but I am married to a man. That doesn't mean I am now straight, yet most people look at it like it does. This!!! Have to mention, I'm bisexual as well and in a hetero monogamous relationship. I used to be in ex-gay therapy, and it's entirely possible someone out there is counting me among their "successes", even though I'm still completely attracted to both men and women. It's more than possible, it's actually happened. Ask me for that article and I'll dig it out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 10, 2011 Moderator Share Posted January 10, 2011 I can't find the study I read about, but it indicated that male homosexuality appeared to be more genetic and female homosexuality appeared to be more a result of hormones in the womb but there are a variety of factors that can influence sexuality and its different for each person. Most of what makes up our sexuality we are born with. I think bisexuality is something they should research a bit too. It seems like most the reason 'ex-gay' ever happens is a person is actually a bisexual. I think people are too quick to draw the line between gay and straight without considering the scope between them. I'm bisexual but I am married to a man. That doesn't mean I am now straight, yet most people look at it like it does. This!!! Have to mention, I'm bisexual as well and in a hetero monogamous relationship. I used to be in ex-gay therapy, and it's entirely possible someone out there is counting me among their "successes", even though I'm still completely attracted to both men and women. It's more than possible, it's actually happened. Ask me for that article and I'll dig it out for you. I think there's a lot of bi-sexual people in the world - many that would NEVER admit it! I've talked to a lot of women in 36 years as a hairstylist...................................................................... Now - I'm not sure about the men - cause I wasn't a barber......... but - I do wonder.................. !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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