Meditation, Self Hypnosis, And Other Altered States Of Consciousness

[VacuumFlux]

I think I have a few separate but related questions here. I'll try to separate them out so it makes more sense.

 

Background: I used to, somewhere around middle/high school, meditate/hit altered stated on consciousness a lot. I didn't know those were the words for it, and just thought I was doing some serious thinking. When life would get messy, I'd put on a record (yes, vinyl) with a nice slow beat and focus on the emotional pain until I lost track of my surroundings. I would then be "inside myself", where I would experience vivid imagery relating to my problems, and use that imagery to work through things. I'd always "wake up" sooner than I wanted to, but have more insight into my situation and be calmer.

 

I've also hit altered states of consciousness occasionally when focusing on math/science problems. Once again, I focused so hard on them that my surroundings faded and the things I focused on became my world. I could see, touch, and taste 3d plots of functions, and explore heavily logic-oriented ideas through the creative/intuitive side of my brain. It was great, and felt like what I imagine being high feels like. Unfortunately, I have semi-recently realized that such states are more common around hormone-induced hypo-manic episodes, which is not a mental state I want to encourage.

 

For a while I tried to use this sort of meditation to connect with the spirit world. In a search to find a focus other than pain, I hit altered states a few times using belief and wanting to connect with something other than me as a focus. Once I quit believing, I lost that ability.

 

I also managed to discover how to do self-hypnosis, to go inside my head and change things. The most dramatic example of that is when I hit puberty and I was too, uh, kinky to recognise the violent fantasies as sexual. I was upset enough by them that I was eventually able to make them stop, and to block them off for a few years. Holes started to form in the wall I'd built when I got a boyfriend I liked. I knew that I could not repair the wall without cutting off my feelings for him, but I had no idea why. Once I learned what was actually going on, it still took me years undo the mental block I'd formed.

 

What I want now: I had trouble meditating for a while because I associated it with supernatural beliefs I no longer held. But it's been a while now, and I realize that regardless of any lack of spiritual goings on, the experiences I had were real and useful. I don't know or exactly care if there is any spirit world to contact, but I miss exploring the inside of my own head. So I want to get back what I had. But I want to do it in a more responsible way.

 

I want to be able to use mediation to deal with my problems before they blow up into drama. I want to be able to do this early in on the stress-forming stages, and to use something other than pain as a focus. I want this to be a positive, constructive experience, not just damage control after things blow up.

 

I want to meditate for calmness. That's one of the biggest differences I've found as an adult reading about meditation vs what I taught myself as a kid. I love the type of meditation where you see yourself as a calm lake and the experiences of life flutter around without disturbing that peaceful core. I want to be centered enough that when negative life experiences happen, I don't fall apart. If I can use meditation to work towards that centered-ness, I think I might be able to deal with my anxiety issues without needing medication.

 

I know I'm strong enough to change myself because I've done it before. Unfortunately, what I did before I did out of ignorance and fear and caused damage. I think the right way to handle this power is to be open and honest with myself, to force myself to face reality no matter how much it hurts, and to not block anything. Meditation is handy that way; I push a lot of mental stress onto my physical body, so the... leaving my body sort of feeling of meditation provides a buffer space to deal with the stress in my head without it making me sick. A while ago, when I was really depressed, it gave me a way to face my demons without worrying whether I'd end up hurting myself (because I was too removed from my body while dealing with stuff to be capable of causing physical harm). So I think I want to avoid the sort of self-hypnosis I did before, but I would like to be able to... reinforce positive mental patterns, to teach myself healthy responses to stress.

 

And sometimes I just want to get high without drugs. This seems to work best with music, where I can... create pretty colors in my head and watch them dance. I want to do this to feel happy, to break cycles of over-reacting stress (some stress is legitimate and needs addressed, other times I'm just tired and freaking out over little things). I want to use this to restore my excitement about life and my creativity when I get burnt out.

 

Some questions: There seems to be multiple ways to meditate, various schools of thought. Is there one in particular that matches what I want to get out of it?

 

Has anyone else done the self-hypnosis thing in a bad way? If so, what did you do to fix it? Has anyone done the self-hypnosis in a good way? What guidelines do you need to follow to make sure you're doing it in a healthy way, not a destructive way?

 

How do I balance my need for peace and stability with my need for excitement and creativity? Does playing with high-without-drugs mental states make pre-existing tendencies towards unhealthy mental states worse? How do I use the escapism for entertainment without using it as an excuse to hide from things I really need to deal with?

[Phanta]

I did self-hypnosis in a way that has worked really, really well for me. I did not seek the aid of a professional. I found someone who is a hypnotist who posted free videos on-line. I sussed him out and decided he seemed harmless and downloaded the tracks that addressed my specific problems. I put them on my ipod. I used them a lot. Some really, really helped in a number of areas. Some were not so effective.

 

Phanta

[♦ Fuego ♦]

I've done deep breathing along with "Tibetan bowl - chakra" tones on an mp3 player. The deep breathing oxygenates the blood and that induces a kind of dizzy feeling. The tones are just a focal point, and I usually visualize the color they say is associated with that tone and chakra. By the time it is over, I feel quite relaxed. I had one session where I didn't use the mp3, but just held a couple of my crystals and deep breathed for about 45 minutes and ended up with quite a euphoria that I had to back myself out of slowly. No negative experiences yet.

[lunaticheathen]

If you're having issues with anxiety, stay away from any kundalini yoga/meditation. That can cause mentally stable people to whack out, and most reputable people recommend that one does that sort of thing with a professional to guide you.

As for stress and relaxation, I'd say some simple grounding visualizations could work. Also, the lake thing you mentioned sounds lovely. But, with grounding, you simply, in whatever sensory cues work best for you, "send" your pain/stress/anxiety/extra unwanted energy down into the earth. Imagine roots extending from whatever part of your body is closest to the ground (feet, navel or root chakra if lying down or sitting) all the way to the center of the Earth, and see whatever you're sending out down through those roots. Deep breaths help with any meditation, I prefer in through nose, out through mouth.

Also, don't worry too terribly much about visualizing "correctly." Our minds do funky things with any number of cues, but as long as it ends in reducing your stress, or whatever end you prefer, don't worry about what you "see." But I think grounding is a good and rather safe place to start.

[Foxy Methoxy]

But Luna, isn't becoming "whacked out" simply a side effect of someone rapidly resolving their karma? The end result could be a long term resolution of their anxiety.

[lunaticheathen]

Foxy, there are many theories, and for kundalini to be beneficial, most pracitioners (and some doctors studying kundalini awakening) agree that it's best done under direction, not alone.

And it's not resolving karma - it's awakening divine consciousness.

Yes, in the end, it's supposed to be beneficial, but I don't see anything gained by someone suffering from anxiety to kickstart such a huge change all by themselves. It's like giving a cancer patient the radiation equipment and saying "have a go!" Not terribly helpful.

[Foxy Methoxy]

Sparking divinity, awakening consciousness, communion with the holy guardian angel, resolving karma, enlightenment, joining that which is above to that which is below, you say tomato, I say tomato . . . .

 

The point is, there is nothing to be afraid of. Ever. Nothing a person does spiritually is wrong. Some techniques move fast. Some move slow. There is no wrong path. The Aghora who meditates on a pile of corpses that washed up from the Ganges is on the fast track. The old lady clutching a rosary is on the slow track. They're both heading in the same direction at different speeds. Certainly the fast train involves less comfort, but I would hardly discourage someone from Kundalini meditations. It might be exactly what they need. It might not. It's up to them to find out.

[lunaticheathen]

I didn't say it was wrong - I said it was not what was being looked for. Nor would it, in my opinion, be helpful.

If you're fine with telling someone with mental issues already to change their entire reality in five minutes, it's on you.

[Rev R]

I didn't say it was wrong - I said it was not what was being looked for. Nor would it, in my opinion, be helpful.

If you're fine with telling someone with mental issues already to change their entire reality in five minutes, it's on you.

 

I second Luna's recommendation that the more goal oriented practices such as kundalini should be avoided by someone suffering from anxiety. I also find it to be irresponsible to completely disregard a person's mental health when making recommendations.

 

With that said, mindfulness practice is sometimes recommended to help people who suffer from anxiety disorders.

 

The key when trying any of these practices is to pay close attention to one's mental state. If symptoms appear to be triggered by practice or seem to get worse after beginning a practice- STOP IMMEDIATELY!

[Deva]

The key when trying any of these practices is to pay close attention to one's mental state. If symptoms appear to be triggered by practice or seem to get worse after beginning a practice- STOP IMMEDIATELY!

 

Yes, I second this. I have been there. Nothing good comes out of some practice that causes distress. Whatever the practice may be.

[VacuumFlux]

I've been doing quite a bit better with the anxiety issues lately; they're certainly not gone, but I've finally gotten to the point where I can deal with the anxiety as it shows up, and not merely survive it then clean up afterwards.

 

My biggest issue right now seems to be balancing the need to acknowledge and accept my feelings without wallowing in them. I had a lot going on this weekend, and when I felt the anxiety trying to take over I tried to stop it. At first, I tried to just tell myself to calm down, to take some deep breaths and relax. That just made it worse because I felt like I was trying to deny and repress my emotions. So then I tried to pay attention to how I was actually feeling, to be honest and open with myself. That helped briefly, but it also encouraged the panic. What I ended up needing to do was to tell myself that the way I was feeling was completely legitimate, but that the strength of some of negative emotions was not useful, not productive. It is still strange to me to label the panic as not-skillful instead of evil, but if I keep practicing thinking of my emotions in terms of usefulness instead of good/bad, it should help a lot.

 

When reading about meditation before, I never quite understood the point of mantras. They seemed too much like... magic, like claiming there was some inherent power in a particular combination of phonemes. But at one point this weekend, I found myself repeating the same words over and over to myself, to remind me of all the things I'd learned in the previous paragraph, to condense them into one expression of my will. It was actually a phrase I picked up from an anime I'd been watching, where the character would need to recite the right words to use her powers. Her powers included healing and attacking; healing was sort of... attacking the sickness. I was attacking my panic, refusing to let it take root in my thoughts. So for me, the words themselves didn't matter so much as did all the connotations I had attached to them from their use in the show. I might have to go back and re-read some stuff about mantras now, to see if I can find some other phrases that would be useful for me right now.

 

I'm going to be taking a long trip for work soon, where I will be away from my home and my territory and my habits. Even though it'll be fun, that sort of change is hard for me. I'm hoping that I can practice some sort of meditation (maybe the lake thing) while at home, that I can also use there, to provide a sense of continuity. Grounding would probably help too, since even though it's a different piece of dirt, it's all part of the same earth that I'd be connecting to. At this point, I am not looking for anything exciting or even awakening; life is exciting enough right now as is. I'm looking for safety, peace, and a sense of home/belonging. Since I'm not expecting to have that externally for a while, I need to be able to find that inside of me, so I can take it with me even when circumstances change.

[Rev R]

Well if you are interested, I did write up a short "how-to" guide on meditation some time back. PM me if you want a copy of the file.