Atheist In Small Rural Town/ Private Christian School

[Surrounded]

Over the summer of 2010 I was introduced to Stumble Upon.com. For those unaware, its a site where you give interests and then the site finds random pages that fit those interests. When the politics section came up I was excited but suddenly unsure. I had been becoming more liberal lately, certainly to the left of the very right wing conservative, fan of Glen Beck that I had been months before. I think a conversation with my older brother (a PhD and double Master in engineering) about religion shocked me into perspective on things. I talked to him about a speaker that came to my school, Hugh Ross, a "Old Earth Creationist." To the Young Earth creationists that make up my Conservative evangelical christian school, this was just outrageous. My then history teacher alleged that he was a deist because of these beliefs, and if you follow the logic, (deism denies miracles so no Divine Jesus, so no savior, so...) he would go to hell.

 

Let me pause for a moment. I hope this story illustrates a bit how crazy my peers are. I think if a poll were done of the school, a large percentage would say that Obama is a terrorist, a non-citizen and a communist at the same time. They would say that homosexuality is an abomination and that rights of American citizens should be denied to gays, although they "love" them. As previously stated, they think the earth is 6000 years old, and that evolution and science as a whole is a vast conspiracy to undermine the teachings of Christianity. I live in a hot bed of extremism. At one point fairly soon after Obama was inaugurated, i considered tipping off the secret service or something about all the death threats that my peers would make towards him and plans about how to overthrow the government after Obama "takes over." I realize that none of THEM would assassinate the president but i worry about crazies in town, and i think a visit from the FBI would shut them up at least. Back to my "testimony."

 

My brother explained how idiotic creationism is and revealed for the first time to me that he wasn't christian. I was shaken at first but I trust him greatly and everything he said made sense. So when I made my Stumble upon account I selected "liberal" and "atheist" in order to get educated. I figured I heard enough about Christianity at school and a counterbalance would be good. So for weeks over the summer i was glued to the computer, secretly looking at free thought web sites and having my doubts about secular humanism answered adequately every time. At that point I was an atheist. Now as of writing this, i have 5 months left at my Jesus school before I graduate and go to a secular college where i hope to meet well rounded people. If i get any responses I'll post more experiences from my school. The once a week chapel services and the free-form bull**** that speakers say during sermons will make you die laughing.

[pitchu]

Welcome to the site, Surrounded.

 

You'll find many here whose experiences are similar to yours, and maybe you'll be surprised at the diversity of political opinion among our members, but the main thing is the support offered and accepted by those who found that Christianity was not for them.

 

I look forward to more posts on your experiences at school, and your experiences in general.

 

(It's great to have a sane older brother, isn't it? )

[chosendarkness]

At that point I was an atheist. Now as of writing this, i have 5 months left at my Jesus school before I graduate and go to a secular college where i hope to meet well rounded people

 

Wow I'm jealous! If it's at least a generic state university you should be very happy. There's alot of jerks sure but I just ignored them and hung around intelligent, decent people.

[jlw1980]

I, too, went to a Xian high school. You were lucky to have your brother, who helped you realize the bullshit that Xianity is. I found out much later. Welcome!

[Droptail]

Welcome to ex-c, Surrounded! I also went to a very conservative Christian high school; I didn't figure out that my beliefs were in error until afterwards though. Glad that you found your way out. I'm sure it helped that you could trust your brother; for me, I trusted my university and the professors there in general because I picked my Christian university to be a kind of 'safe' haven from the 'evil' secular world...well, what I learned there was central to my deconversion...funny how that worked out!

 

Good luck on your college search and with your last semester there...an entire semester to laugh and poke fun at the comical nature of your Jesus school; I wish I had had that!

[Surrounded]

I would enjoy being on the outside looking in on all the weirdness a lot more if i had a close friend at the school who shared my beliefs. Since I don't, its just lonely and frustrating, which is why I joined this site.

[Droptail]

How small is your school? You may want to secretly inquire around and see just whether you're alone in your skepticism or not.

 

Have you been able to reveal your no longer being x-tian to your older brother yet? I'm sure he can be a source of support and experience for you to draw on while you have to put up with the extremism for this last semester. It's good to be able to have that face-to-face time with someone you can be open to about your lack of belief for rational dialogue, venting, etc.

[Surrounded]

My senior class is 14 including myself. And anyone who isn't religious at my school isn't worth talking to. They are all just hedonistic and nihilist drinkers. I do wonder about another person who is hiding skeptism but I wouldn't want to risk exposure for a while. And yes, my brother was the first person to know

[seeboh]

Hey, welcome to Ex-C! I'm in a Catholic school atm. We seem to have spent our summers doing the exact same thing: educating ourselves. Good luck with your college search! Hang in there for those last few crazy months.

[Ro-bear]

And anyone who isn't religious at my school isn't worth talking to. They are all just hedonistic and nihilist drinkers.

 

You can learn a lot from a hedonistic and nihilistic drinker; you don't have to become one yourself.

[melonies]

And anyone who isn't religious at my school isn't worth talking to. They are all just hedonistic and nihilist drinkers.

 

You can learn a lot from a hedonistic and nihilistic drinker; you don't have to become one yourself.

 

Totally agree. When I deconverted I kept some of my attitudes about dealing with 'evil people' for quite a long time. Until I found out that most people are not as selfish, hopeless, cynical or lost as church wanted me to believe.

 

Besides, a dose of hedonism and/or nihilism may actually be quite a good thing. As with alcohol, it's up to you to decide how much of it you want. You've already proven that you can use your brain and think for yourself. Keep it up.

[Surrounded]

Hrmmm, I realize that i probably sounded like i was clinging to some christian judgementalism there, but i honestly wasn't like that even when i did "believe." I do learn from these people, and respect them, and enjoy their company at school (they are very funny) but in the context that Hokun was talking about (face-to-face time with someone you can be open to about your lack of belief for rational dialogue, venting, etc.) they are useless to me.

[seriously]

Hrmmm, I realize that i probably sounded like i was clinging to some christian judgementalism there, but i honestly wasn't like that even when i did "believe." I do learn from these people, and respect them, and enjoy their company at school (they are very funny) but in the context that Hokun was talking about (face-to-face time with someone you can be open to about your lack of belief for rational dialogue, venting, etc.) they are useless to me.

 

Okay, that's seriously strange. That RIGHT THERE is what's happening to me. I have some good druggie friends, but I can't really have intelligent conversation with them.

[EmilyJ]

Your testimony sounds like me about 2 years ago. Luckily my parents are awesome so instead of going to my super conservative HS for senior year (I only needed 2 credits but the school required a apologetics class-yuck). I ended up doing the two classes online and then doing some college classes at the local tech school. During that time I started looking into all the lies I was told and now here I am today at a public university. I'm still struggling with somethings but mostly i'm just a lot happier and I don't feel guilty about all the stupid crap I felt guilty about anymore.

Good luck with the last four months! It get's so much better trust me! College is a great place to really grow!

[BigVaden]

I went to a 'fire and brimstone' christian academy for 5 years of gradeschool (6th-10th). My class was a little bigger than yours, it had about 50 per grade, so luckily there were a couple of people that weren't nutjobs like the rest of them, so we stuck together a lot -- art class was a freakin' blast with those guys I can't imagine having to go through that bullshit without anyone that shared similar doubts as myself.

 

My hats off to you for not completely losing your mind having to put up with that crap. You'll love college. It's a totally different (by different I mean immensely better) world than a close-minded christian school.

[sgtbrushes]

I live in a hot bed of extremism.

You mean America?

 

Just kidding... I'm feeling particularly sarcastic this morning.

 

All I can say is, deconverting is incredibly painful. All of those people you "betray" are hurt much less than you are. Good luck at college. Explore things, make friends, and make mistakes.

 

[bitterdregs]

Hi surrounded, I'm new here too. I know what being surrounded is like. I moved to a small town in central North dakota. 7 churches for about 400 population. As my kids and I did not go to any church, we were called gypsies, and witches. No kidding. This was just back in 2003- 2006. My kids had to go to school there in the all christian town. They asked for volunteers to help clean up the graveyard and park. My kids called to volunteer and they told them they already had too many people. Then, a couple of days later, a bulletin appeared saying hardly anyone in town volunteered and people should be ashamed of themselves. Yah I'm quite sure that's what chrtist would do. LOL At least atheists/agnostics are'nt hypocritical. hang in there, you'll be done soon. You've got everyone here

[Vomit Comet]

I moved to a small town in central North dakota. 7 churches for about 400 population.

 

But why?

 

I know I must sound like one of those coastal elites that Sarah Palin is always slagging, but I was born/raised in L.A., I live in Las Vegas now, and I'm about to move permanently to Italy. I could never imagine willingly moving to a place like North Dakota for any reason. Unless it meant I was going to make a million dollars in a couple of years, or unless I bought a huge parcel of cheap land and started some art colony squat commune for weirdos and gutter punks or something. I just can't wrap my brain around it. I take it you're in PA these days. Are you glad to have gotten out?

[bitterdregs]

Two reasons.

 

1. I have a combination of health problems that cause chronic pain. I am allergic to all opiate pain killers. Extreme dry/cold all but removes the pain and I can function somewhat normally. ND is the dryest/coldest state for 9 months out the year.

 

2. I was on a fixed income and did not receive child support. My property in MI was about to be lost to taxes so I had to sell it. I only had 25 grand equity and had to buy a house plus cover moving expenses and utility hook ups. The only place in the country I could find a decent house for the money I had was ND. Corporate farming has taken over so there are many houses standing empty. I got a 4 bedroom house fully furnished with brand new furniture for 10 grand. taxes are 175 bucks a year.

 

I will be moving back to MI soon ( actually I'm in PA at the moment ) and when I do, my property in ND is worth more than I paid for it due to the oil boom and a highway that's going to go in. it should make a good down payment on a new place. I need more room for my iris farm but...man I will miss the cold/dry. I'm thinking about keeping the place and going back for the winters. It was actually kinda fun being the sore thumb in that town LOL. It was very old fashioned too. Once the store owner get to know you, you can say " hey I'll catch you friday on that". it's like living in mayberry...except you're the mayberry witch LOL