Darklady Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I was chatting to some xtians and this is what they said: [N] Lucifer was actually gay. [A] that was why God kicked him out of heaven [A] heaven is for straight angels only [N] He was caught touching inappropriately and got a smackdown. It would be funny if they weren't serious, and they most assuredly were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyjj Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 That is hilarious. You would have thought that, not being able to reproduce, angels would have no sexuality at all and thefere would be neither straight nor gay. Indeed isn't Jesus made to say in one of the gospels that the people in heaven are "as the angels are" and do not marry? But then there's the whole Nephilim thing? Contradictions anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chosendarkness Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 It would be funny if they weren't serious, and they most assuredly were. Exactly. It would be funny if it wasn't so evil and dangerous. Christians like that perpetuate the violence and mistreatment of people they don't understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MagickMonkey Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 He is gay. Don't you guys watch South Park. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knetti Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 He is gay. Don't you guys watch South Park. Yup. And that's all the proof we need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I was chatting to some xtians and this is what they said: [N] Lucifer was actually gay. [A] that was why God kicked him out of heaven [A] heaven is for straight angels only [N] He was caught touching inappropriately and got a smackdown. It would be funny if they weren't serious, and they most assuredly were. You gotta be kidding me!? Wow. So there are genders between angels? Do the procreate? Or do they have genitalia only for fun? What's up with that? At least we know Satan has more sense of style than God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 So that means angels, who are eternal creatures, eat and poop too. And why would god give them reproductive organs? Brilliant deductive reasoning capacities these people have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I bet the angels have DNA as well, and they have evolved from cherubs and/or pixies. Maybe they share a common ancestor with gnomes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darklady Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 I bet the angels have DNA as well, and they have evolved from cherubs and/or pixies. Maybe they share a common ancestor with gnomes? I wish I had thought of some of these replies, alas I was stunned into silence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyChef Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 And I thought that was just the catholic school girl outfit he wore?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YellowJacket Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I call Bullshit. I've had sex w/ Satan, he is definately bi. and a bit polyamorous. not to mention insatiable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest I Love Dog Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I was chatting to some xtians and this is what they said: [N] Lucifer was actually gay. [A] that was why God kicked him out of heaven [A] heaven is for straight angels only [N] He was caught touching inappropriately and got a smackdown. It would be funny if they weren't serious, and they most assuredly were. Well, DL, Satan does have a VERY hot ass and he's also horny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I guess that is why Hell is so Fabulous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Did Satan's fall have anything to do with him wanting to be on top? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 That horny devil! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babylonian Dream Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Germanic angels aren't even angels, they're ghosts, so of course they have genitals! They were once humans. They even caught an angel on camera before he was sent away to hell: We know its because Satan was gay though, because he really doesn't have anything against God, he even celebrated his birthday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABSAiNq3YvM&feature=related Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I bet if you had had this conversation a hundred years ago, Satan would have been black. Or Jewish. Or Irish. Satan is always pegged as the currently "out" (no pun intended) group among the religious. Around 400 B.C., however, people realized that there were political benefits to demonizing the disenfranchised, and the idea of an embodiment of pure evil became expedient. (Rotten.com) People have been doing it ever since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnceConvinced Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Well then it's God's fault then. If God had provided Lucifer and his boys with some hot female angels to hang out with, they wouldn't have turned to each other for sexual gratification. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babylonian Dream Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Yeah, but guy on guy action is way too awesome, so it doesn't matter anyway. God didn't like it, so they just went downstairs to turn up the heat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 That is hilarious. You would have thought that, not being able to reproduce, angels would have no sexuality at all and thefere would be neither straight nor gay. I watched Rosemary's Baby the other night. As far as I could tell, Satan was enjoying it. So I'm guessing he swings both ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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