pk62281 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I noticed a lot of you have talked about how women were oppressed in churches and were not seen as equals, but have any of you seen the other side of that coin? I briefly listened to a dating sermon at my old church and it reminded me of how much guys were vilified there. They make it seem like guys (even christian guys) are complete hormone driven animals, and with the right opportunity, will transform from a bible thumping, khaki wearing, jesus freak to an all out sexual predator. The sermon is partially based on the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" or "Choosing God's Best" and he talks about how the power (in dating) has shifted from the women to men. Before, guys would have to show up to a girls home with the parents present and court the girl. But now.... it's a fucking full blown male dominated orgy everywhere you go! Guys are dropping roofies in girls drinks, seducing girls in parking lots, lying to girls to get into their pants etc etc.. its horrible!! These poor women who barely even enjoy the physical part of sex (just the emotional), but are vulnerable to irreversible emotional attachment are being completely taken advantage of! I'm severely exaggerating here, but you get the point. I think at one point, I actually believed that women did not enjoy sex. The first time that I somehow got a girl to sleep with me, (at 25) I'll be honest, I was a little surprised. Anyways, it seemed like there are a lot of manhaters at church. I know so many girls who just can't trust guys, or are really awkward around them. Or maybe those types of girls are attracted to church? I dunno.. some of them I thought were closet lesbians. It just seemed like there was a lot of guy bashing, and I think it made a lot of the women there distrust men. I'm so glad I got out of that hellhole! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VacuumFlux Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I did get the "guys all want sex; the woman's role in a dating relationship is to constantly be telling him no" thing. At least I assumed that guys would take the no and not force it. That, combined with a lack of sex ed and lack of certain social skills, ended up with me getting some significantly older, socially awkward, guys hitting on me and me freaking out and not knowing what to do. That did reinforce my fear of (some) guys (and yes, I did turn out to prefer women). Oh, and lots of bullshit about how women have to be careful about what they wear because women aren't visual enough to know what their bodies do to men. Which is funny, because I now drool over female bodies worse than some of my male friends do. It's terrifying to feel me having the same feelings towards other women that I always sensed as threatening when coming from males. So yes, I did get some of what you're explaining. It's kinda surprising, since in many other periods of history/parts of the world it's the women who are seen as highly sexual temptresses who can't control their urges. I think the women as pure and innocent thing comes from the Victorian era, if I'm remembering completely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 My daughter is married to a muslim, and a lot of the way women are treated in that religion has to do with the fact that men apparently cannot control their urges so women have to wear tents to counteract that. I have never hated men for wanting sex, but I have hated them for so easily abandoning their children, neglecting their inner lives to the detriment of their partners and families, and getting their control freak jollies by using the bible to support their personality problems. Any time you belong to an organisation like a church that completely leaves women out of the decision making process, it is going to cause resentment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherJosh Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 guys (even christian guys) are complete hormone driven animals, and with the right opportunity, will transform from a bible thumping, khaki wearing, jesus freak to an all out sexual predator. The sermon is partially based on the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" or "Choosing God's Best" and he talks about how the power (in dating) has shifted from the women to men. Before, guys would have to show up to a girls home with the parents present and court the girl. But now.... it's a fucking full blown male dominated orgy everywhere you go! Guys are dropping roofies in girls drinks, seducing girls in parking lots, lying to girls to get into their pants etc etc.. its horrible!! These poor women who barely even enjoy the physical part of sex (just the emotional), but are vulnerable to irreversible emotional attachment are being completely taken advantage of! *looks down at penis*....I'm sorry? I totally get what you are saying, the Christian religion is oppressive to men and women. Women because they are often viewed as helpless emotionally driven temptresses who need a firm hand from their husband/father. And men who are constantly frothing at the mouth, latent sexual predators who without the power of Christ would devolve into madly humping animals. It's a system built on making you feel shitty about who you actually are. I remember hearing sermons or talks about how we have to gain control of our thoughts and not lust after women because it leads down a slippery slope to us becoming sexual predators. It's a disgusting fear tactic because most Christian leaders are so amazingly sexually repressed they don't want anyone else to have a healthy view of sex either. It's no surprise a ton of pastors/bishops/priests/church leaders end up being some of the most heinous and extreme sexual offenders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Manhaters at church? We're living in a totally fucking manhating culture nowadays! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Manhaters at church? We're living in a totally fucking manhating culture nowadays! I suspect it is a two way street. Disrespect is rife in both genders. But I do wonder how much of it has to do with absent fathers. Certainly was the genesis of a lot of my bad feelings about men. I spent most of my life believing that men started relationships and families, walked away when they got bored and left the women to deal with the mess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Kind of reminds me of a claim I once read about most women unconsciously looking out for men as similar as possible to their fathers. In other words, if her dad was a fuckface... I can't judge how correct this is, but it sure would explain some things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Manhaters at church? We're living in a totally fucking manhating culture nowadays! I suspect it is a two way street. Disrespect is rife in both genders. Forgot to say that before: Disrespect? Well, no wonder, is it? For centuries in the "good old days" it was seen as a well-known fact of life that men are the reasonable half of the species and women don't know what they're talking about (et cetera, ad nauseam). Then, with "emancipation" getting into gear, we as a culture tried to... NOT get rid of these misconceptions at the heart of it all but, in the spirit of the era, fight the symptoms by basically giving the women the same "weapons" that men have wielded since the dawn of ages. And now, with both sides armed to the teeth, "we" stare and wonder why there just won't be peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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