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My Message To Those De-converting


Guest MadameX
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I just wanted to briefly share my story and then give my message.

 

My own mother used religion against me when I was a rebellious teen. I should say, I was a good, good kid but I just could not swallow the wacky Catholic dogma. After her condemning me, I had a nervous breakdown, there is no question about that. Sure wish the internet was around back then for me to share my story and to discover that I was in good company by rejecting religious magical thinking and learning to trust myself. Religion did me a lot of damage.

 

You know how people who go through and survive terrible, terrible things and years later will say it was, in the end, a good thing? That it made them stronger?

 

Well, I can't say that about this experience.

 

The same religion that forced her to remain married to an abusive, probably psychotic man, made a good stick for her to turn around and beat me with. It had encouraged a magical thinking that let her fool herself about her life; it also abandoned her when she was stuck in a violent marriage. We kids suffered mightily for this. My relationship with my mother was badly damaged.

 

Many years later, when I had kids of my own, we had it out: it was amazing to me, as a parent, that she could have done what she did, to her own kids. She did admit to her craziness, she did apologize, she did offer to make it up to me, as she was able. And I have really have let go of the bitterness now, but that ugly confrontation did need to happen.

 

I truly have forgiven her. But I learned a lesson up close and personal about religion that left me bitter for many years. I also think I have left that behind now. People are only people. Life is hard, people make foolish decisions along with the good. They adopt the belief system, however wacky and negative, of their parents, trusting that they would only make good choices for their youngsters. I wish things had been different, but they weren't, and there is no changing the past.

 

Fast forward to now. As as I have posted in other topics on this forum, I have engaged in dialog with a fundamentalist proselytizer that brought back a bit of those unpleasant emotions. But I see this person as reaching out to me, in a way. I may not be accurate in that, but that is how I am seeing it. And I am choosing to gently care for this person,

 

So my message is, if you are hurting, if you are feeling abandoned, you are not the only one to go through this. I did. I am glad I have come to a rational way of viewing the world, and I am a happy, joyful, loving person with many deep and strong friendships with people of all kinds, all ages, religious traditions. My life has meaning. I offer understanding to you. You can do it, too.

 

All the best.

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Good for you, Xtech, for working to gain perspective on the wrongs done to you. It doesn't change the fact that wrongs are wrongs, and that they damage and hurt, but to turn the experiences into an understanding that brings joy into your life is such a good choice. Congratulations.

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What an honest, wonderful letter of encouragement. Thank you so much for sharing that. I am ready to go off to dreamland now, and I will stop tonights reading with your beautiful words of bitter-sweet truth and love. Thank you for that. :D

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