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Forgiveness Feels So Good


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It's likely just my personality type, but I just remembered how good it felt to receive forgiveness. I felt "clean". Likely it was my own inability to forgive myself, so the idea of resting on a power that had ultimate forgiveness to heal my wrongdoings just felt good. Anyone else feel the need to "confess sins" to receive forgiveness? And have you done it, knowing full well there was no one listening to your prayer (other than you, of course)? I'm thinking of doing it for therapeutic reasons. But I can't help but feel that this is just my religious brain, seeking a "washing".

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yes, I have experienced this recently!

 

It's a lot easier for me to receive forgiveness from others than to forgive myself. I'm pretty damn hard on myself.

So far, I've tried forgiving myself by sort of talking to myself and unloading my guilt. If saying "I forgive myself" doesn't stick the first time, I say it to myself over and over. Repetition makes words more powerful.

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Guest I Love Dog

It's likely just my personality type, but I just remembered how good it felt to receive forgiveness. I felt "clean". Likely it was my own inability to forgive myself, so the idea of resting on a power that had ultimate forgiveness to heal my wrongdoings just felt good. Anyone else feel the need to "confess sins" to receive forgiveness? And have you done it, knowing full well there was no one listening to your prayer (other than you, of course)? I'm thinking of doing it for therapeutic reasons. But I can't help but feel that this is just my religious brain, seeking a "washing".

 

Hug a tree and tell all to the birds. Very cathartic! :grin:

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I'm too damn arrogant to care if people forgive me or not... :HaHa:

 

Nah. It's true to some degree. If you have a strong feeling of guilt for something, it's a relief to be forgiven. Unfortunately, in Christianity, you ask God for forgiveness instead of the person you potentially harmed. God's forgiveness is just a cheap way of avoiding the task of facing the real victim and ask for real forgiveness, which takes a lot more guts.

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It's likely just my personality type, but I just remembered how good it felt to receive forgiveness. I felt "clean". Likely it was my own inability to forgive myself, so the idea of resting on a power that had ultimate forgiveness to heal my wrongdoings just felt good. Anyone else feel the need to "confess sins" to receive forgiveness? And have you done it, knowing full well there was no one listening to your prayer (other than you, of course)? I'm thinking of doing it for therapeutic reasons. But I can't help but feel that this is just my religious brain, seeking a "washing".

 

I used to feel that way after confessing something to my mother and being forgiven. Total peace and freedom to continue to live my life. I'm trying to figure out how to internalize it. In the meantime, I feel burdens. No release.

 

Phanta

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I think it has a lot to do with thinking of our "mistakes" or "less than wise" decisions as actual sin, wrongness, transgression, etc that condemns us. I have a good friend who has always corrects me when I talk like this. She says "you're just human; we all are, you're a good person, and your mistakes are part of what has made you who you are. Just move on." And she has just loved me no matter what, and this has started to sink in finally. In fact, part of my deconversion involved my questioning whether every little thing I did less than perfectly really truly offended some deity. I decided I was a normal human being, and eventually realized there's no such thing as "sin" as the bible defines it, and that, among other things, led to my deconversion.

 

Besides thinking of "sin" though, there's a guilt that just comes with the territory of being a parent, if that's what you're talking about. I usually think of it as "mother guilt" but I suppose it's a dad thing too. No matter what we do, we can never parent quite right, we fuck up, and it always seems like there are others who do a much better job than we do.

 

Anyway, I think consciously "forgiving" yourself may be more helpful than asking a god you know to be non-existent, and therefore non-offended by whatever you've done. And when I say "forgive yourself" I mean acknowledge that you make mistakes, as everyone does, but then just look at what you do right, see the good things about yourself, and then move on.

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It's likely just my personality type, but I just remembered how good it felt to receive forgiveness. I felt "clean". Likely it was my own inability to forgive myself, so the idea of resting on a power that had ultimate forgiveness to heal my wrongdoings just felt good. Anyone else feel the need to "confess sins" to receive forgiveness? And have you done it, knowing full well there was no one listening to your prayer (other than you, of course)? I'm thinking of doing it for therapeutic reasons. But I can't help but feel that this is just my religious brain, seeking a "washing".

I thought this is what masturbation was for?

 

mwc

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This morning, after my wife was already gone to work, I was working on getting my girls ready for school. I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. Obviously I have to get both girls ready because my 2 year old doesn't have anyone to stay home with, so she comes along for the ride and loves it! So, as I'm trying to get my 2 year old ready to get out the door, I asked my 5 year old to put on her ski pants and jacket. The T.V. was off, but that didn't stop her from being distracted by something else. (What else, I don't know!) In my frustration, I raised my voice quite loud and barked at her to get her ski pants and jacket on again. She started crying, and I calmed down and apologized for getting upset. Within minutes, she was happy again and gave me a hug.

 

It felt good for me to have apologized to her, and it felt good to know she had forgiven me. I can imagine it felt good for her to hear me apologize to her. I think I would be a pretty miserable tard if, at some point in her life, I stopped forgiving her. It made me wonder how Christians can justify an unforgiving god in the afterlife. Eternal torture? And they think that sounds like a just idea? Anyway the point is, it felt so good to patch things up with my daughter. This kind of forgiveness is what I needed. No god required!

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It's even better not having to feel guilty all the time at all. (As a Xtian I always felt guilty, not now.....)

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It's even better not having to feel guilty all the time at all. (As a Xtian I always felt guilty, not now.....)

 

The guilt was the biggest driver of my faith. I had to prepetuate the need for forgiveness in order to need god. Then I woke up and realized I didn't need anyone's forgiveness. I've lived my life well. Now I live it fuller.

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Whenever I was in a situation where I had done something to be forgiven for, and I was forgiven...

 

...I would feel not relief but apprehension. "Do they really mean it? Are they just going to secretly think I'm an asshole and get all passive-aggressive? What if things are going to be weird now? What if they change their mind? What if there's weird subconscious shit on their part? What if something else comes up? Shit shit fuck fuck...."

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