dB-Paradox Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 On the internet, it's been proven that people are more open and vocal. Sometimes not even themselves (or maybe more so themselves). People are willing to say things online that they would otherwise not say to someone else face to face. Obviously, we are willing to open up to people who agree with us, but when it comes to disagreement, I think most people shy away from personal conflict. But also regarding all other areas of life, what are you like in person? It probably shows through some of my posts, but in person, I have a really bland sense of humor. I'm a "child-like" person who likes to keep the peace at all costs. On the rare occasion, I'll argue, but even then with a light-hearted attitude. I'm almost always positive, and almost no one takes me serious (which can be quite bothersome at times). I'm also a very sensitive man. I can get quite emotional at times. I would say that I am hardly recognizable online when compared to who I am in person. Oh, and I write much better than I speak...not that I write very well, just that I speak even worse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Oh, and I write much better than I speak...not that I write very well, just that I speak even worse! My sentiments exactly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I am very quiet, introspective and introverted. Its unusual that people speak to me. I guess that I am rather unapproachable. I have been told outright that I am "hard to get to know". Probably the old timers on this site know me much better than people I have seen everyday, sometimes for years. The internet is a shy introvert's heaven when it comes to communicating. I am also polite and try to be as controlled of my emotions as possible. I am easily startled and very sensitive, but this is mostly hidden. I don't require a lot of action. Boredom in the outside world is OK by me since there is far too much always going on in my head to deal with. I am the type that at work will arrive on time and ready to do the job. Very conscientious and efficient. Not much for conversation. However - If I am with a very relaxed, extroverted person, I will change to mirror them - I become more open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherJosh Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I am an INTJ as most others on here...but I swing between being introverted and extroverted. For me to become really open and talkative it has to be the right setting with the right people. My favorite thing to do is to have a few drinks and some good food surrounded with a close knit group of friends. I don't like large groups of people or large gatherings except for the occasional concert or football game. My girlfriend describes me as a "cat" in that I am extremely independent and pretty well self contained. I am usually not confrontational, most people describe me as being extremely laid back and easy going. Though, if someone gets me going I can get pretty pissed off, it just takes a lot to bother me. If I like someone I like them a lot, if not I don't really have much time to waste on them. I can be emotionally unavailable and insensitive at times, I suppose that comes from being self contained. I write much better than I speak, though if I get a few drinks in and the right environment I can be talkative and outgoing. Generally, if I am in a group of people I don't know I'll just keep to myself and not say much. I enjoy genuine and sincere people, I've been burned a few times by "fakes". I am almost always on time or early, usually I am the one waiting in the parking lot for someone. I work hard if I am passionate about something but can lead to a lot of trouble for me in school since many classes I have to take aren't as interesting to me, which means I'll put it on the bottom of my priority list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted January 23, 2011 Moderator Share Posted January 23, 2011 My God Par - how fun is this gonna be! I think in the past month you all have gotten a 'taste' of my personality! I am nice! There. That starts that off............................. BUT, I am a very sensitive woman and I have boundaries, so if you press my buttons.............................There will be hell to pay! I am quite rigid and I really prefer to plan ahead. I would love to learn to be more flexible! I fight perfectionism. I drive myself crazy and I can be very hard on me. I adore a lot of time to myself and can be very quiet. I am mostly introverted. BUT, I can also have a very flamboyant personality. I can talk too much with the right person - as you can tell by my posts! I love to dance and sing. Most people would consider me to be an extrovert, and I can be - but that side of me drains very quickly. I am the type, that if I was rich and famous - after the concert was over -I would run out the back stage door and not want to talk to any of my fans! Selfish - I know - but I have learned that I AM a little selfish at times - and Ive allowed myself not to feel as guilty about it. I am very demonstrative and I am one of those huggers! So if you aren't - you better stay away from me! I really can be a nut-case and I love a good laugh.You guys don't even know how you crack me up sometimes when I am sitting here at my computer! I really need that laughter! I try to give as much as I can - sometimes too much, so I get drained easily.I love and adore a good sense of humor and I think I have that. I even like a little dirty joke now that I am lightening up more. - (although any prejudiced jokes are a huge turnoff for me) I love all people's of the world. I am a complicated women. (Scorpio!) I ask far too many questions. I can be very deep and I like a conversation with the same type of people. I really do not like small talk, (It bores me) although, in my job, I do have to do this and I am very good out in public with those types of conversations. But the sooner I can get away and get back into my heavy research - the better. I am going to assume that my personality on this forum is generally what I am like.I need to be honest with you all - so you can help me. Sometimes I will shock you with my stories and I never mean to do that.. I love you guys - I really do! Finding this was one of the best things that has ever happened to me! I have been feeling so much better since i found this forum. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirPhoenix Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 When I do speak, it's just like on here. I am slow to speak, because I don't like causing needless trouble. I also pick my fights carefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovemybrain Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I talk too much and give myself away a little too easily sometimes. That is, I open up, IRL as well as online. I get hurt that way, but I also make some deep connections that way and have found a few good friends who stick around through thick and thin. I have very eclectic interests and always love learning new things. So that means I have more of a surface knowledge about lots of things, and not so much deep knowledge in any one area (except maybe literature). I'm kind of flighty and change my mind a lot. I'm not as outgoing as I wish I were, but my BFF is very sociable so I through her I have a lot of opportunities for socialization. I find small talk difficult with some people, but I can fake my way through most social situations. I tend to be friendly and want to make everyone around me comfortable; that is, I don't like conflict. Since deconverting, though, I realize I can't please everyone, and in order to be happy I will necessarily have to offend someone, sometime. I am learning to be better about saying what I really mean, what I really think and feel. I still struggle with this - sometimes it's too easy to just say what I think people want to hear, to keep the peace. I'm fiercely loyal when I meet someone I like who I feel I can trust my real self with. I come on too strong sometimes probably in my overeagerness, but the brave few who have stuck around have got a solid friend in me. I probably gossip too much. I have very little ambition. I have a sweet tooth and no self-control. I'm kind of a snob who looks down on less intelligent people. I'm also a lazy-ass - sometimes I think I'm going to die if I have to wash a dish. I'd rather lie in bed and read. I love to laugh, and I tend to be an optimist. There is always something to be thankful for, and to smile at, and someone who needs a hug and a smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Babylonian Dream Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I write better than I can speak. Well, I do pretty good at speaking when i'm on youtube, because I prepare, practice, write what I'm going to say, and pretty much everything is planned out. In the real world, I don't get such a priveledge, and as a result, I probably make as much gaffs as this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEbZqvMu2cQ Also, I'm nonconfrontational. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I am an INFJ and as such weird as fuck. I do like confrontation if it leads to a solution. I hate that there are so many elephants in the room of life that no one will address, but I guess that is a result of so many people disliking confrontation. I'm very friendly and accepting of people, but i am an introvert who is not comfortable in large crowds or when the attention is on me. I really care for people and love to be of assistance, but life experience has taught me that is not always the right thing to to, I have been used way too much. I laugh a lot and can usually be heard warbling a tune. I love discussing abstract sociological stuff that no one else gives a toss about, but if you try and talk to me for too long about weight loss or your new curtains my eyes will glaze over pretty quickly. I am often told that because of my height and my strong opinions I can be intimidating, but because I have had depression all my life I have spent most of it feeling about 2 inches tall on the inside. I am working harder at not scaring people hehe. Oh and I am obsessed with brutal honesty, but I'm in rehab for that too. I own SHITLOADS of earrings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
★ Citsonga ★ Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 In person I'm not generally as confrontational as I am when discussing the Bible online. There have been times when I have had to put religionists in their place, but I usually tend to avoid conflict. Like others have said, I consider myself to be a better writer than speaker. I would say that fact, my more reserved personality and my family expectations have been big factors in why I'm not more outspoken in person. I would probably be considered a boring person by most people's standards. My hobbies are music and Bible/religion/skepticism issues, and I otherwise mostly just work, help take care of my family, do the grocery shopping and pay bills. I do meet together with some other freethinkers, and that's fun, but it centers around my religion/skepticism interest. After it warms up a bit, I do want to look into what community services there are in our area that I could volunteer for. After all, when I was a Christian I volunteered for a lot of church functions, the vast majority of which really had no genuine benefit for society. Now as one not committed to furthering a religious agenda, what time I do have available could be used for much better purposes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolish girl Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I whistle. I dance. I yell I play. I hug and kiss and cook and clean. I like to party. I like to cuss and read and learn new things. I have low self-confidence and I wonder if I will ever be financially successful. I have trouble hiding what I think. My face is an open book- but I am good at spinning a negative thing, if I don't feel like arguing. My friend Jacob pointed out that I hop up and down when I really want to be heard...I guess I am like a kid that way! Oh- and music and movies make me cry...but I'm not sad...just crying. And I will kick somebodies ass, if I have to. It is a rare, but exciting opportunity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolish girl Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 However - If I am with a very relaxed, extroverted person, I will change to mirror them - I become more open. My sister in law tells me that she is shy. Which is wierd because she and I have so much fun together. I bet you and I could have fun together too. I like you Deva Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Valk0010 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Outside of probably being a little more transparent, I pretty much the way I am in real life, on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dB-Paradox Posted January 23, 2011 Author Share Posted January 23, 2011 So great to hear the many similarities and differences so far! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only 'poor' speaker. (I would so flop in a debate, even though I am strong in what I know.) I'm also an INFJ and LOVE being different! I also love this place as it is filled with support. I love the help and support from others almost as much as I enjoy the feeling of knowing I have helped someone else out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaturalMary63 Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I'm a creative introvert. I hate to argue; I hate being around conflict; I avoid people who star in their own self-made dramas. Although I've improved as I've matured, I usually prefer to entirely avoid a situation (or a person) if I think it will be unhappying. I also like to invent words. ;-) I've been a writer most of my life and I love language, however I'm often tongue-tied in person. I'm far more eloquent in my writing. Although illogic and stupidity annoy me to no end, I rarely confront it because I don't think I would actually change anything, so why cause trouble? I've learned to stand up for myself and be assertive when necessary: I can send back an incorrect order in a restaurant, for example, or ask for what I need when I need it, and talk to almost anyone (Thanks to Zoloft). But I'm not good at handling situations in which this causes conflict. Except for a handful of close friends and family, I usually prefer being alone. On a performance review once, one of the manager's comments was that "she doesn't project warmth." On the other hand, I'm probably one of the most generous and kindest people you'd ever meet because I have no intention of causing conflict or doing anything that might hurt someone and come back to bite me. Oh, and I think that's the ethical way to live, too. ;-) PS - that was scary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedAtheist Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 I'm very shy in person and I won't talk to people I don't know. However if I'm introduced to people I open up very quickly (too quickly probably). I would say that I'm somewhat of a comedian in that I'm hardly serious with friends and I always try to keep things lighthearted. Weirdly enough I would also say I am more serious than most people because I hate meaningless chit chat but love D&Ms. I'm the kind of person where I want to be close friends with people wherever I am at (I.E. I want to be close friends with people at work because I spend so much time with them) but find that most people are satisfied with acquaintance level friendship and don't want it to progress further and generally don't take my advances favorably (i.e. asking if they want to get a drink after work, watch a movie at the cinemas as a group et cetera). As a result I tend to be fairly closed to most people. I'm also generally a better friend to my friends than they are to me; I tend to be the one hooking them up with jobs, lending money, giving money, helping with expenses et cetera. Because of my "niceness" I'm often taken advantage of helping people. My problem is I like helping people but it makes me feel soo crap when I realize that after I helped them I am unknown to them and they were only warming up because I could help them (mostly with technical stuff with their computers). Like ILMB, I love learning new things and I tend to be a jack of all trades but a master of none. The only deep areas of knowledge I have is I guess the interests that I've got in my profile. Oh, as for confrontation, I rarely do it for myself (though I have done it several times) but I mostly do it for friends/family. As most people I hate it and that's why I avoid debates and the like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRDWarrior Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 IRL I'm a pretty typical INTJ who's worked on a few of my social skills (or had them beat out of me by my mother as a kid). I'm quiet, unless you get on a topic that I find interesting and have some knowledge on (or want to learn about). I hate wasting time, unless I'm wasting it in a way I want to waste it. I'm a frustrated perfectionist - if I can't do something up to my standards, I tend to not do it at all. I try to be honest with people, even if it means pissing them off. If I'm finding it difficult to say something in person, I will write a letter - which isn't a bad idea since it also takes a lot of the emotion out of it and gives the other party time to digest things. I HATE not knowing where I stand with people - I'd rather have someone be mad and tell me like it is, than to try to "spare my feelings" and bitch behind my back. Usually I come across as very unassuming until people get to know me (and I get comfortable around them). I don't seek out leadership, but if no one else will take control and do what needs to be done, then I will step and and get it done - and usually do a pretty damn good job once I'm there...just not something I want to do. People seem to find me hard to read - I'm an introvert, I hate small talk, and I don't fall in line with a lot of social norms for my gender/age (even the minority "norms"), so people aren't sure what to make of me. I'm a very hard worker, and have high standards, and I hold others up to similar standards as well. Although I avoid it, I'm secretly very competitive, and get rather worked up when I see others blowing me out of the water in something - it is often a good motivator for me, but if I simply don't have the time/money/etc to invest in improving myself, it causes me a lot of unwarranted stress. People see me as "cold" and "unemotional"...but that's mostly because I'm a thinker, logical, and usually I don't see emotions as something that should be involved in a lot of decision making. I can acknowledge that some people will see emotions in a stronger light, but that doesn't change my opinion (although I have been known to point that fact out). I come across as highly emotionally stable - something that scares people I think. Not much gets me riled up, at least not on the outside - and if something is really bothering me, then I usually bring it up and try to settle the matter like an adult. There is the very rare occasion when PMS, an emotional situation, and people doing things that affect me without including me in the process when I can explode a bit. I'm not usually real sure what to do with all that emotion, so it tends to come out in tears, depression (short lived - usually just a few days at most), and a general dislike of any of the parties involved. A little bit of "me" time can help calm things back to a more normal state though. I love riding motorcycles, I'm a full time graduate student, I work part time at a horse barn, and have too many animals, but they are kinda my social life...they are one thing that allows me to connect with other people as well. I HATE small talk, and am secretly jealous of extroverted people - on some level anyways. Overall, I'm happy with who I am and where I'm going - there are things I want to improve and work on, but life would be boring if there was nothing to work on! For the most part, I'm very similar online to how I am in person - I can get very involved if I find the topic interesting, but otherwise people kinda wonder who I am since I tend to drift away when things get boring for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Even on a thread like this, we pick and choose what we want to share. So, I'll pick a few things and share them. Sense of Humor I love to make people laugh, though I would be a total flop as a stand-up comedian. The way my sense of humor works is by reacting to what other people say with a one-liner or by saying something absurd with an ultra-serious face. I also like to do what are really corny things, but coming from me, a lawyer with a lot of education, is funny to people because they do not expect it from me. For example, I was with a group of friends the other night having dinner. There was one person there who didn't know me. The conversation was about a church that those of us who knew each other attended together for years but which subseuquently closed. Others were relating when they first started with that church and some of their experiences. It was about that time that I said with a very serious face, "I started with that church in 1948." My friends knew that wasn't true and that it was an absurd statement and they all started laughing real hard (you had to be there). But the one person whom I had only just met, looked at me very curiously and tentatively said, "How old are you?" That caused even more laughter because I was born in 1956 and, I'm glad to say, I don't look like I am old enough to have attended anything in 1948. Her reaction to my serious face caused even more laughter. And that was what I was after..... Movies I love good movies, but I absolutely hate movies that are not well thought out or have violence for the sake of violence or have sex scenes for the sake of showing female breasts for the sole purpose of attracting 17 year old guys to purchase a ticket. If the violence serves a good purpose or a lesson, then that's great (e.g, Saving Private Ryan, The Godfather). If the sex is an integral part of the story, then that's also great (e.g., Dr. Zhivago), but leave out the gratuitous sex, please. That's just a cheap thrill with no artistic or literary value. I especially love a movie with great cinematography and especially when it is combined with a particularly well-done musical score (e.g., Laurence of Arabia). Learning I love learning. I loved every minute of college and law school. When I started college at age 24, I was thrilled that I was learning so much and I marvelled at all the things that I had no clue about before. But I also love learning things on my own. I will often pick out something that I know absolutely nothing about and then set out to learn about it and learn how to do it on my own. I did this with auto mechanics, the stock market, firearms, and hunting to name a few. When I began these endeavors, I knew nothing. The way I learned them was by purchasing many books on the subject and reading, reading, and reading more. Once I had read enough, then I began engaging in the activity and applying what I learned. Once I was satisfied with my performance, then I moved on to something else. Take firearms as just one example. In 1998, the only experience I had with firearms was what I had done while in the U.S. Navy as part of my training. Basically, I had only fired a M1911A1 which at that time was the standard issue pistol of the U.S. Military. In 1998 when I was in my early 40s, I decided that I would learn about firearms. I purchased many books about them and read them all. I learned about safety, storage, how to disassemble and clean them, and, of course, how to fire them. Once I had done a lot of reading, I bought one and began using it at the shooting range. Then I bought others, including a number of rifles. I practiced and practiced and became pretty good, if I do say so myself. I found that I really loved firing them because what I learned was that good shooting was a thing of the mind. Concentration was the key not this crap we see in movies of people just wildly firing and being totally stupid. Good shooting is a thinking person's activity and that is what I learned to love about it. Conversations I can engage in small talk with the best of them and I do when called upon to do so. But what I really like is to listen very carefully to people and while doing that to watch their demeanor and the body language that everybody uses as part of their communications. I find that I learn a lot about people that way and I enjoy doing that. I often find that many people who appear light-hearted on the surface have a much more profound side of themselves which they tend to hide from view. I like to find that more profound side of people and then discuss that with them. People will often open up with me when they would not with others and the reason for that is that most people could care less about really listening to someone else. They'd rather rattle on about themselves endlessly and often, mindlessly. I will open up about myself but only when someone else opens up about themselves. But I always hold back. I learned this lesson the hard way. Don't give all of your inner secrets away because once you do then the other person has ownership of them and, no matter how sincere their promise of confidentiality, one can rarely count on people to live up to their promise to keep things to themselves. So I am very selective about what and to whom I reveal about my deeper self. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest riverrunner Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 IRL mostly all I want to do is go whitewater rafting, skiing, mountain biking, running, hiking, mountain climbing - anything outdoors. chasing moments. the perfect turn in powder, a rapid that covers your boat in water, flying through the trees on two wheels. I don't have as much time as I used to for these pursuits now that I have an actual job instead of being a raft guide, but at least it pays the bills (to keep the gear up to par). lately I am passing on these things to my kids. it's pretty cool. I think I am an INTP but my I and N are so borderline I could easily be an ESTP or an ISTP or an ENTP (always a TP though). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathlene Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I am very quiet, introspective and introverted. Its unusual that people speak to me. I guess that I am rather unapproachable. I have been told outright that I am "hard to get to know". Probably the old timers on this site know me much better than people I have seen everyday, sometimes for years. The internet is a shy introvert's heaven when it comes to communicating. I am also polite and try to be as controlled of my emotions as possible. I am easily startled and very sensitive, but this is mostly hidden. I don't require a lot of action. Boredom in the outside world is OK by me since there is far too much always going on in my head to deal with. I am the type that at work will arrive on time and ready to do the job. Very conscientious and efficient. Not much for conversation. I am with a very relaxed, extroverted person, I will change to mirror them - I become more open. I think you and I must be twins Deva..you just described me exactly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I'm introverted, find conflict unpleasant and I write better than I speak: It seems my personality probably isn't that unusual around these parts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pratt Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I am not a confrontational person, cyberspace or real life. I am not exactly into details, I want to know enough, for knowledge and interests and not going to be specialist in any subject. I know enough about the existence of dead sea scrolls/codex, the mis-interpretation of greek bible, but to go deeper than that like study greek or hebrew, thanks but no thanks. I am more towards the Dummy's handbook kinda of person. I know nano-tech is about small particles and still in developing stage, stem-cells research have some success, but to go into details, I don't and I can't. I will read Bart Erman but not research into NA27 and stuff. I am a marketing guy for more than 20 years, so I am pretty comfy with all kinds of situation, can go with the flow in many circumstances. I am person's person. I am interested to hear how a person's think and feel. So in real life and cyberspace, I can do chat on long hours just to understand someone. I am easy going online and offline generally, but when tensions arise, and I am at the end of the losing end of the debate, I do resort to vulgarities. Also I am more open to my feelings on net because I am on the net, and there is a very good chance we will not meet in real life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I am fascinated by this dislike of confrontation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I think I'm the same on the web as off. I do not have as much support offline as I do online for being nonreligious. To each his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gypsy79 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Quiet unless I know you really well and then I will talk your ear off Introverted but I can put on a great act Better writer than speaker Not afraid of conflict when it's warranted, but definitely choose my battles Tend to be more logical than emotional Some folks describe me as warm and friendly and others have told me to my face that I'm cold and hard to get to know feel like I really have it together financially and maritally; now it is time to focus on being more open to new experiences and people less judgmental every day a bit of a rebel without a cause who drinks too much, loves heavy metal, enjoys saying fuck immensely, has a new and awesome tattoo, dyed my hair red today, and smokes cigars on occasion generally a very happy, balanced (except for the rebel part), satisfied person who looks forward to every day ... now that I've figured out life (including my job!) is what I make it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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