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Narrow-mindedness And Sexuality


viridia
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Hi everyone,

 

For the past month or so my friend Sam has been emailing me for advice/to vent to about a situation she's been going through. Basically, she was having a hard time with some people and her best friend Jen and her became really close over this period. They sleep in the same bed during sleepovers (Sam is almost 19 and Jen is 16, but they spend the night with each other a lot) and one night they got a little touchy. Sam said they really liked it, and were texting a lot about how excited they were to do it again and they can't wait. But Sam was feeling a little apprehensive about it, maybe because she's older, Idk. But Jen was really excited for everything. The next time they were together they went a little further, etc etc until the next time they actually kissed. Sam told me Jen had a really difficult time sorting that out in her head. They're super Baptist and Jen's worry started to freak Sam out so they were both like this nervous mess constantly questioning if what they were doing was right.

 

The next few times they got together they kept kissing and doing whatever else, until Jen's parents were noticing her and Sam were spending a lot of time together. This made Jen really apprehensive about everything and she told Sam that they couldn't get physical anymore. She'd rather have the closeness they had as best friends, not lovers and that's understandable, even though in my opinion she should've told her parents to fuck off (but that's just me >_>).

 

Anyways, so they've always been really close and it's common for them to put a head on the other's shoulder just to relax or whatever. Nothing wrong with that. Well, they did this while Jen's father was driving them home and he blew up at Jen when they got home. Her parents were saying shit like "Normal friends don't hug like that! Normal friends don't put their heads on your shoulder! Sam's sick and a weirdo and blahblahblah." And they basically told Jen if she is caught alone with Sam ever again, they'll take away her phone, car, laptop. So they can basically only see each other at church, and if they hang out someone else has to be with them.

 

I don't even know where to start with my feelings about this...ugh. Whenever Sam would email me with her doubts, I never knew what to say. I tried so hard to tell her IT'S OKAY IF YOU'RE GAY but she doesn't feel that way. She would constantly say she thought it was dirty to be gay, that she didn't want to be gay, that's not the path she wanted to go down, and that she wanted to be "normal." Her religion has fucked her up, her and Jen both. They both have had problems with self-mutilation and in Sam's case suicide, and this literally tore them to pieces. I tried so hard to convince her it was just natural because THEY'RE FUCKING HUMAN but no. I was infuriated with Jen's parents even though I've never met them, but I feel like if I ever do I will hate them on the spot. They pretty much brainwashed and scared her into cutting the fooling around out.

 

The thing is, most of Sam's emails were about how happy she was when she was kissing/messing around with Jen. And I know exploring your sexuality is fun and makes you happy and makes you get this unique high, but Sam needs that. She's a generally pessimistic person and her being happy is unusual but it's good. It's really good. And they were both convinced by their parents and religion that it was wrong because OMG THEY'RE TWO GIRLS OH NO!

 

Seriously. When things came to a head and Jen had to cut it off, Sam sent me their emails and they were both the most depressing and the stupidest things I've ever read. It was all shit like "God is making us feel guilty because it's wrong." "I prayed so hard but I still feel guilty, and I know it's because we haven't reached a conclusion." And it was all just so bizarre and dumb as shit.

 

I just...it really bothers me how everything unfolded. I didn't expect that they would ever formally be dating just because of the environment they live in (Jen still going to Christian school would probably be kicked out of their and her home as well, and they've been attending the same church all their life), but I wish they didn't feel so fucking guilty about messing around. I can understand maybe it being a little bit weird with your best friend but that's not why they stopped. They stopped because they thought god was going to kill them because they were doing lesbian activities. Well, seriously, why in the fuck would, in the scope of this massive universe, this all-powerful, all-knowing god CARE that two submicroscopic female humans on this tiny-ass planet kissed and felt each other up? Seriously. Why is that so hard for these morons to grasp?!

 

Just had to get this off my chest. It's so beyond frustrating. Now they're both depressed all because Jen's parents were complete dicks and won't even allow them to be alone together anywhere JUST BECAUSE SAM PUT HER HEAD ON JEN'S SHOULDER OMG HOW SCANDALOUS! Am I the only one who, if those were my parents, would smack them and just leave?! Seriously! I have better, more supportive places to go than with you overly-religious, narrow-minded fucks.

 

Why is being gay such an "abomination" to these people? It makes me sick. Absolutely sick. I don't even have words for how angry I get thinking about this shit and can't believe people still hold onto those archaic ideas. It's just...wow.

 

Thanks for reading and any feedback,

--viridia

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Wow this really does suck. Especially with the ages, one 19 and one 16. I'm dealing with a 19year old stepson who is dating a 16year old girl and the legal ramifications of it could devistate the rest of his life if he is not careful. As for your friends situation, that is what makes it so frustrating. Obviously if they were both over 18 they could just say F#$% you and do what they want. With the controling parents in the middle makes this a potentially bad situation, especially if their depression becomes overwhelming. To be honest they should be happy she is exploring her sexuality with another woman, no chance of teen pregnancy! I do believe that homosexuals will have a hard time being accepted for a long time to come until more people start to think for themselves and stop believing in a fantasy man in the sky.

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I was kind of a homophobic as a Xtian, since I took the Bible's word on it seriously. I wonder nowadays whether I would have ever developed homophobia if I had never been a Xtian. I don't know, because the society I live in is rather homophobic too. Not just Xtians. Under the socialist regime homosexuality was considered a crime. And you can't say those communits/socialists were Xtians. So it's not just religion that fuels homophobia, although it's a big contribution. Maybe those communists too were influenced by Xtianity on the subject, since even though they didn't believe in God they probably grew up in a family with some religious background.

 

Today, like Viridia, I wonder about why homosexuality is considered such an "abomination" by so many religions and even secular political systems. I kind of suspect why it could have been named a "sin" in those old religious systems: because it jeopardized procreation? On the other hand there were also ancient cultures where it was accepted.

 

Anyway, the way how religious people, relate to homosexuality, one would think it's the greatest "sin" one can commit. It was scary to see the comments on Yahoo News the other day when that article about that Ugandan gay activist who was killed was up. Whether they said it directly or not (some did, some didn't) about 90% of the comments were like "he had it coming", "he deserved it" etc. etc. Needless to say most of these people were religious nuts - it was clear from the many Bible quotes and references to God.... I wonder why is being gay a bigger sin/crime in the eyes of these people than killing. Becasue compared to these type of comments where people bashed homosexuals there were relatively few condemning the killing....

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Guest Valk0010

Its easier to move a rock then a car, so if one of your friends is both christian and possibly gay, i would be looking up arguments made by Christians that are gay to say its okay to be a gay that is not celibate and a christian. And I would see if they respond well to the possibility.

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Christians are obsessed with finding guilt in sex and not just the same-sex variety. Even on this very forum we have prudes that are supposedly over the Christian faith that get their little ears offended by sex talk.

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Christians are obsessed with finding guilt in sex and not just the same-sex variety. Even on this very forum we have prudes that are supposedly over the Christian faith that get their little ears offended by sex talk.

It's time for you to grow up Vix or leave this site. This is not "supporting ex-Christians". It's about you having the world your way, and it is highly offensive of you to say that other ex-Christian members are only "supposedly over the Christian faith", if they see things differently than you. Consider this well. I won't increase your warning level again.

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Combating homophobia is the one thing that rankles me the most. I can feel your frustration because I would feel like yelling at the parents. "No,YOU are the abomination!"

 

I always thought that if my (hypothetical) kids turned out to be gay and their significant others' parents wouldn't stand for it, I'd make a point to announce in front of the other parents that they were more than welcome to spend time together at my house. My girlfriend/fiancee/wife would have to be standing by with a camera, ready to preserve for posterity the looks on the jesus-fucks' faces.

 

There's something satisfying about seeing parents like that get the rug of their authority jerked out from under their feet, and homophobe fundie parents deserve it a bit more than others.

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I was kind of a homophobic as a Xtian, since I took the Bible's word on it seriously. I wonder nowadays whether I would have ever developed homophobia if I had never been a Xtian. I don't know, because the society I live in is rather homophobic too. Not just Xtians. Under the socialist regime homosexuality was considered a crime. And you can't say those communits/socialists were Xtians. So it's not just religion that fuels homophobia, although it's a big contribution. Maybe those communists too were influenced by Xtianity on the subject, since even though they didn't believe in God they probably grew up in a family with some religious background.

 

Today, like Viridia, I wonder about why homosexuality is considered such an "abomination" by so many religions and even secular political systems. I kind of suspect why it could have been named a "sin" in those old religious systems: because it jeopardized procreation? On the other hand there were also ancient cultures where it was accepted.

 

Anyway, the way how religious people, relate to homosexuality, one would think it's the greatest "sin" one can commit. It was scary to see the comments on Yahoo News the other day when that article about that Ugandan gay activist who was killed was up. Whether they said it directly or not (some did, some didn't) about 90% of the comments were like "he had it coming", "he deserved it" etc. etc. Needless to say most of these people were religious nuts - it was clear from the many Bible quotes and references to God.... I wonder why is being gay a bigger sin/crime in the eyes of these people than killing. Becasue compared to these type of comments where people bashed homosexuals there were relatively few condemning the killing....

 

I think the key aspect has to do with it being a minority. Look at how in the past things like left handedness was looked at. Same thing, minority issue. People have a huge need to conform to the majority to be accepted into the "cultural norm" and thus see homosexuality as deviant because it's not part of that "normal" majority of society. The majority has always and will always be ignorant on minority issues, but think they know what's best for them.

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  • 2 months later...

I live my entire life on the receiving end of homophobia (my boyfriend does too) and from what I've seen (and experienced) homosexuality is deemed wrong in the archaic, disease-religion mindset for one reason and one reason only: homosexual couples don't produce kids...if they don't produce kids, they aren't producing new brains for the god-parasite to rape and infest. Children are easier to infect, adults can be infected, but infection-success rates drop quite a bit. Impressionable children lack the proper defenses (bullshit shields) that most adult develop over time. The god-worm is breeding and it needs new host brains to insure its survival. Anything that hampers the spread of the parasite is "abominable and must be stamped out." Like most disease organisms, the god-parasite is somewhat messy as well, which is probably why wearing mixed fabrics and planting various crops on one plot of land are both considered (in the book of Leviticus) as "abominable" as homosexuality.

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I live my entire life on the receiving end of homophobia (my boyfriend does too) and from what I've seen (and experienced) homosexuality is deemed wrong in the archaic, disease-religion mindset for one reason and one reason only: homosexual couples don't produce kids...if they don't produce kids, they aren't producing new brains for the god-parasite to rape and infest.

 

 

 

 

I think yes, this was the motive why in the Bible and some other religions it was considered a sin. The Jews weren't a big nation so they might have had worries about birth rates in case people would "turn gay". I still today sometimes hear the argument from evangelicals: "humanity would die out if everybody would turn gay". Of course, that's BS because there's no way everybody would turn gay - the majority will always remain heterosexual. Also that worry is a bit funny in a world where we have more than 7 billion people....

 

 

 

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Guest Babylonian Dream

The percentage of homosexuals will stay the same. Nature doesn't care what man's laws are, it makes things how it makes them. It's just out of touch with reality, to think that it is even remotely possible for the majority of people to be(come) gay. I wish more guys were gay though. Hehe.

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