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StriveForTolerance
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I am very, very, VERY sick of my posts about Christianity gaining nonsensical comments from students at my former high school (a christian private school). I get the feeling they think they can make stupid remarks because I don't like offending people. Today I decided to warn them of my new plan.

 

 

 

A) I am going to continue posting things that may be viewed as offensive to some. I, however, will not comment on YOUR posts in an attacking or derogatory manner.

 

B) If you have a huge problem with this, there are three solutions: Delete me, block my posts from your news feed, or argue with me.

 

C) From this point forward, I will not be holding back. If you argue with me, or make an unusually stupid comment on my post, I will argue back (or mock you, in the case of the latter). My reason for this is simple: you hostilely initiated contact. If you want to get into a debate with me, I am happy to do so.

 

I'll repeat: I WILL NOT begin a debate with you. But from now on I WILL be retaliating.

 

I am not saying this because I hate everyone or anything ridiculous like that. If you're my friend, I likely don't have a problem with you. I'm saying this because, believe it or not, I've lately felt like I've been fighting with a hand tied behind my back because I'm afraid I'll offend someone, especially about religion.

 

Well guess what? You start it, you get it. I'm not going to be swearing up a storm or making ad hominem attacks. But I will let you know precisely what I think.

 

I will add that if your comment is respectful, I will respond in kind. My rant is not directed at people with questions, or even people who want to "share the light" or something. It is directed at people who seem to be deliberately antagonizing me because I am as open about my beliefs as they are.

 

 

 

Hopefully, now people will either shut up or get what they're asking for. :)

 

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I am very, very, VERY sick of my posts about Christianity gaining nonsensical comments from students at my former high school (a christian private school). I get the feeling they think they can make stupid remarks because I don't like offending people. Today I decided to warn them of my new plan.

But from now on I WILL be retaliating.

 

It is directed at people who seem to be deliberately antagonizing me because I am as open about my beliefs as they are.

 

 

Hopefully, now people will either shut up or get what they're asking for. :)

 

 

Hi Strive! I am so sorry that you are so frustrated,cause I know what this feels like. It sucks!I know you have to do what you have to do, but I'd like to share my experience with you.

 

One of the things that I am trying so hard to do in my life, is to not let anyone 'rent space in my head'. I just cannot put out all that energy on 'vampires' that are 'close-minded'. I am beginning to 'feel' people out, and if I know that they are 'close minded' - I let it slide off my back. Yes - It's hard to do for someone like me!

 

I spent so much wasted time in my life trying to defend what I believed in, that it 'sucked me dry' and the stress of it all was beginning to take it's toll on me.

 

Their just not worth it! I was one that ALWAYS had to have the last word and somehow prove my point! The conflict made me depressed.

 

I talked for an hour and 1/2 this morning with a older gentleman who is one of my mentors and he told me this.''Don't pay too much attention to what people think, because most people are not 'critical thinkers' anyway; they just follow the crowd''.

 

We think, We analyze,We look for solutions - and I would hate to see you waste your wonderful, kind, inquisitive, open, personality on foolish people who enjoy the conflict . Some of them are just downright 'Aggressive Bullies'. I have these kind of people in my own life and I stay away as far as I can from them.

 

Do what you have to do - but for heavens sake -don't let them get to you! Just food for thought hon! Hug for you tonight!

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I will add that if your comment is respectful, I will respond in kind. My rant is not directed at people with questions, or even people who want to "share the light" or something. It is directed at people who seem to be deliberately antagonizing me because I am as open about my beliefs as they are.

 

 

 

Hopefully, now people will either shut up or get what they're asking for. :)

 

 

Excellent.

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I like what Margie wrote here:

 

>>One of the things that I am trying so hard to do in my life, is to not let anyone 'rent space in my head'. I just cannot put out all that energy on 'vampires' that are 'close-minded'. I am beginning to 'feel' people out, and if I know that they are 'close minded' - I let it slide off my back. Yes - It's hard to do for someone like me!

 

 

I am moving more and more into the camp she is describing. I was VERY combative for several years after deconversion. For the most part I now try to have a "Live and let live" approach. The times I fail at this, and get into heavy debate with hard core cultists, are really like the low points of my week now. ;-)

 

Don't get me wong. I HATE what they believe. However, I am 44 now, and I understand that life can be hard at times. And many people do need something they "hope" in to get them just to fucntion. I thankfully do not, and honestly that was never really a big part of why I became a Christian in the first place. Anyway, I feel like I wasted many, many years as a christian. (Years I cannot get back) However, I do fear it would be easy to waste alot of years arguing with Christians too. This whole process should be about us (the deconverting ones) not them (the arguing Christian)

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I spent so much wasted time in my life trying to defend what I believed in, that it 'sucked me dry' and the stress of it all was beginning to take it's toll on me.

 

Their just not worth it! I was one that ALWAYS had to have the last word and somehow prove my point! The conflict made me depressed.

 

I talked for an hour and 1/2 this morning with a older gentleman who is one of my mentors and he told me this.''Don't pay too much attention to what people think, because most people are not 'critical thinkers' anyway; they just follow the crowd''.

 

We think, We analyze,We look for solutions - and I would hate to see you waste your wonderful, kind, inquisitive, open, personality on foolish people who enjoy the conflict... .

 

Wise words here. Pick your battles. Figure out if its really worth it. Don't waste a lot of energy engaging people who you don't have a lot invested in emotionally . See what this kind of conflict is doing to your own mind.

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I agree with all of the "pick your battles" advice, but... It is also fair that we should all be allowed to voice our opinions. We should be respectful of each other, but if the simple existence of a dissenting opinion is objectionalble, then people need to develop a thicker skin.

 

If he posts something that belies his lack of faith and someone wants to be rude about it...then he should have the opportunity to retort.

Even better...there is fair warning here.

 

So, I don't really see it as a battle, so much as a conversation.

You talk, I talk, you talk, I talk....

That is not so bad.

 

just avoid ugliness.

 

The real problem is that Christians are so easily offended, that we all (I) walk around on eggshells.

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  • 3 months later...

Here's a recent facebook post I made...

 

Christian friends and family: I'm removing you from facebook. Not because I don't care for you, but because I DO care for you! I'll be be using facebook for my atheism. We have other ways of keeping in touch that does not involve offense. You can still see my wall and send me messages, but know that I will not respond to messages concerning religion. I need to focus on me for a while without offending you. With love.

 

As stated, I removed all my Christian friends and family, except for my wife.

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I'm enjoying Freedom from Facebook.

 

There were only maybe two people in my friends list that I knew were not Christians. The rest of them felt it necessary to plaster their "blessings" from their god all over my newsfeed. Sure, I could rant about my non belief too, but I don't have the time or energy to argue with these people. Some of them were my family, some were old friends. There's a reason I call them "old" friends (meaning facebook is the only contact I had with them). My family and real life friends I can call up or go see if I want to know how they're doing or what they're up to, and they can do the same for me. So, the hell with facebook I say. I'm better off without it.

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Here's a recent facebook post I made...

 

Christian friends and family: I'm removing you from facebook. Not because I don't care for you, but because I DO care for you! I'll be be using facebook for my atheism. We have other ways of keeping in touch that does not involve offense. You can still see my wall and send me messages, but know that I will not respond to messages concerning religion. I need to focus on me for a while without offending you. With love.

 

As stated, I removed all my Christian friends and family, except for my wife.

 

db,

 

Were they pestering you before? I wondered about that, I never saw any debates raging on your wall. Or was that just to avoid such a thing?

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I have a lot of friends from Ex-C on Facebook so I don't get too many Christian messages. When someone does post something like that, they get taken off the newsfeed. I don't need to look at stuff like that. Its usually someone from my high school that I haven't seen in 35 years and who I don't really know.

 

I have family members on there and I like to know what is going on, so I don't want to remove them but I also don't feel free to just put up any old thing.

 

I don't post much on facebook. Maybe a link to a song now and then.

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I'm enjoying Freedom from Facebook.

 

There were only maybe two people in my friends list that I knew were not Christians. The rest of them felt it necessary to plaster their "blessings" from their god all over my newsfeed. Sure, I could rant about my non belief too, but I don't have the time or energy to argue with these people. Some of them were my family, some were old friends. There's a reason I call them "old" friends (meaning facebook is the only contact I had with them). My family and real life friends I can call up or go see if I want to know how they're doing or what they're up to, and they can do the same for me. So, the hell with facebook I say. I'm better off without it.

 

I agree with Betty White's assessment of Facebook: "I must say, it sounds like a terrible waste of time."

 

I was forced to register at Facebook, under my real name, because my employer has a bunch of pages there and wants to collect "likes" from as many people as possible (including apathetic employees) when they announce a new product or upcoming convention, etc. Yes, we're told in official memos from HQ that "you like this" and ordered to do the FB thing accordingly.

 

My FB profile contains my photo and name (because my employer required it) and nothing else. Other than those mandated "likes," I have never posted anything on Facebook and see no reason to do so. I too prefer face-to-face contact and phone calls for keeping in touch with family and REAL friends.

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I generally detest FB, but I have so many friends from college and such scattered far and wide that it's really the only way I keep up with all of them. I have to be really careful about what I post on there, though, because my mom's on my FB (and I can't remove her because she'd have a BPD-induced meltdown and probably take it out on my sister, who doesn't deserve that) and she's still very much a Christian. (Actually, she recently converted to Messianic Judaism. Don't ask me what that's about.) I was even hesitant about "liking" the ExC page on there. I finally did, but went immediately to my wall and removed the post that notified everyone that I had. Just in case.

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The real problem is that Christians are so easily offended, that we all (I) walk around on eggshells.

 

Well said! I look at it as what if I hypothetically really like a certain football team? I post interesting articles about the players, scores updates, draft updates, scouting reports, injury reports, game scores, schedules etc...what if one of my friends was a big fan of the rival of my favorite team? All of a sudden they start making rude comments on my profile, start debates without provocation, posts multiple times about how much better their team is etc. At the same time this person posts multiple updates on their own page without me leaving rude comments or attacks...doesn't seem all that fair! I would probably tell that person to either back off, be civil or just delete them. It's your Facebook page you can post whatever you want without having to feel censored.

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I was forced to register at Facebook, under my real name, because my employer has a bunch of pages there and wants to collect "likes" from as many people as possible (including apathetic employees) when they announce a new product or upcoming convention, etc. Yes, we're told in official memos from HQ that "you like this" and ordered to do the FB thing accordingly.

 

I'd think that this would be a violation of FB policies, and could be reported to them, especially if you kept the memos. Of course, there will probably be fallout...

 

I despise bullies.

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Here's a recent facebook post I made...

 

Christian friends and family: I'm removing you from facebook. Not because I don't care for you, but because I DO care for you! I'll be be using facebook for my atheism. We have other ways of keeping in touch that does not involve offense. You can still see my wall and send me messages, but know that I will not respond to messages concerning religion. I need to focus on me for a while without offending you. With love.

 

As stated, I removed all my Christian friends and family, except for my wife.

 

db,

 

Were they pestering you before? I wondered about that, I never saw any debates raging on your wall. Or was that just to avoid such a thing?

A very few replies on my wall, and a number of personal conversations. I also deleted the ones on my wall. Honestly, I don't think they will have even seen my wall post about removing them, but oh well...

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I was forced to register at Facebook, under my real name, because my employer has a bunch of pages there and wants to collect "likes" from as many people as possible (including apathetic employees) when they announce a new product or upcoming convention, etc. Yes, we're told in official memos from HQ that "you like this" and ordered to do the FB thing accordingly.

 

I'd think that this would be a violation of FB policies, and could be reported to them, especially if you kept the memos. Of course, there will probably be fallout...

 

I despise bullies.

I'm thinking the same as Fuego...BULLIES and they shouldn't be allowed to make you sign up for anything outside of work under your real name. I feel for you. It's being caught in between a rock and a hard place.

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I was forced to register at Facebook, under my real name, because my employer has a bunch of pages there and wants to collect "likes" from as many people as possible (including apathetic employees) when they announce a new product or upcoming convention, etc. Yes, we're told in official memos from HQ that "you like this" and ordered to do the FB thing accordingly.

 

I'd think that this would be a violation of FB policies, and could be reported to them, especially if you kept the memos. Of course, there will probably be fallout...

 

I despise bullies.

 

Nope. Not going to report anything. Gotta keep my job at least a few more years until I can get my full pension and 401K. At this point in life (age 53 and crippled by MS) and in the current economy, it's not likely I'd get another one that pays so well and allows me to work completely from home.

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A facebook friends status update:

 

What a blessed day! God is so Good. He blesses my life in ways I can't even fathom and I look forward to each day to see just what He has in store for me. At the moment, I think with the pouring rain, He is telling me to stay in, curl up, and read a good book to celebrate the 100% on my second finance exam!"

 

 

then she says

Scratch that! I forgot that small groups are tonight!

 

 

I threw up in my mouth a little. what an infantile faith. How self-centered and short sighted. But did I say anything? nooooooooo.

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A facebook friends status update:

 

What a blessed day! God is so Good. He blesses my life in ways I can't even fathom and I look forward to each day to see just what He has in store for me. At the moment, I think with the pouring rain, He is telling me to stay in, curl up, and read a good book to celebrate the 100% on my second finance exam!"

 

 

then she says

Scratch that! I forgot that small groups are tonight!

 

 

I threw up in my mouth a little. what an infantle faith. How self-centered and short sighted. But did I say anything? nooooooooo.

 

:lmao: you are tooooo funny my foolish girlfriend! threw up in your mouth.........love it.....................just love it................:lmao:

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I threw up in my mouth a little. what an infantile faith. How self-centered and short sighted. But did I say anything? nooooooooo.

This is exactly why I got rid of my Christian friends and family from FB. Because they always felt they could chime in on my "offensive" wall posts which were NEVER directed at THEM, but I made it a point of NOT responding to their posts, but even the few rare times that I did, I was branded disrespectful!

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I am so glad I don't have friends from my fundy school days, and my family is fully aware of my heathen status and sick sense of humor. If I had some idiot dribbling praize gawds all over my news feed, I think I'd quietly de-friend them. I'll see an occasional "pray for x" from my sister, but she works at a camp for the mentally disabled, and it's usually one of the campers - I'd be a total twat to say something about that. And really, most of the time, she just posts about fun with her friends.

Facebook fights are fucking stupid, in my opinion. Which is why I'd rather de-friend idiots first.

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I have basically no fundy friends on facebook. I have a few religious friends but they can blow me if they don't like something I post. In general, if I want to post something related to what I believe (whether its regarding my atheism, or politics or whatever other issue that can be contentious) I'll do so from my blog. Since people don't generally shove God down my throat or for that matter, their political views, I give them the same courtesy by not filling their newsfeed with my views, for the most part at least.

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