Super Moderator buffettphan Posted February 14, 2011 Super Moderator Share Posted February 14, 2011 Someone please tell me its ok for women to want sex and be eager for it because my feeling from society in general is that we should be passive about it and not want it. Is this right or wrong Kathlene, I was raised catholic, but thankfully, somehow escaped all that catholic-guilt. (I think that was due more to the times than anything else. Gotta love those hippie days!) As a woman who is now closer to 60 than I am to 50, I can say that it is more than OK for a woman to want sex and to be eager for it! Sex is fun. Sex is good for your health -- emotionally, mentally and physically. Passivity (and not just about sex) is boring -- enthusiasm is exciting. Fu(k society's "rules" -- do what's right for you. Be happy*. ----------------------------- *Edited to add this little caveat: IMO, happiness includes being safe, thoughtful, and sensitive --- which from your posts, Kathlene, I know you are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freespirit Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Someone please tell me its ok for women to want sex and be eager for it, because my feeling from society in general is that we should be passive about it and not want it. Is this right or wrong? It's okay to want sex and be eager for it. There ya go. Nothing wrong with that. However, I would argue that promiscuity is not going to help. For those who replied to my post previously, I have no intention of being promiscuous. I was simply attempting to demonstrate what I was saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I would argue that promiscuity is not going to help. I would argue that promiscuity is a Victorian concept. You say people regret it, I regret I wasn't promiscuous when I was younger and I believe that I wasn't has led to some serious problems my wife and I have had to work through in our marriage. As I said before, it's not for everyone, but what's right for you doesn't necessarily make a rule that is right for others. I realize you are just getting your sea legs here so hopefully I'm not coming across as too critical. I'm just adding another viewpoint for you to consider. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freespirit Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I would argue that promiscuity is not going to help. I would argue that promiscuity is a Victorian concept. You say people regret it, I regret I wasn't promiscuous when I was younger and I believe that I wasn't has led to some serious problems my wife and I have had to work through in our marriage. As I said before, it's not for everyone, but what's right for you doesn't necessarily make a rule that is right for others. I realize you are just getting your sea legs here so hopefully I'm not coming across as too critical. I'm just adding another viewpoint for you to consider. No, you can say your opinion. That's what forums are for! I grew up in a liberal Catholic household. Yes, we were Catholic, but it was not strict. My Dad drank a lot and so did I. I did a lot of things I regret. However, I did not sleep with anyone. I am so thankful for that. It was bad enough as it was and I think the pornography I saw growing up (not my Dad's) really messed with my head. This was all before I got into the fundamentalist church I was in and the heartache I experienced was a large part of the reason I got into the fundamentalist church and was as hook, line and sinker as I was. On top of that, I think the church messed me up further with a lot of guilt, shame and condemnation. For example, I never thought about how "guys were" before church. But I sure did afterwards. I think it is a mixed bag. I hate to think people are just going to go out and casually have sex thinking they were really missing something because of what the church taught. I just don't see that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathlene Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I would argue that promiscuity is not going to help. I would argue that promiscuity is a Victorian concept. You say people regret it, I regret I wasn't promiscuous when I was younger and I believe that I wasn't has led to some serious problems my wife and I have had to work through in our marriage. As I said before, it's not for everyone, but what's right for you doesn't necessarily make a rule that is right for others. I realize you are just getting your sea legs here so hopefully I'm not coming across as too critical. I'm just adding another viewpoint for you to consider. No, you can say your opinion. That's what forums are for! I grew up in a liberal Catholic household. Yes, we were Catholic, but it was not strict. My Dad drank a lot and so did I. I did a lot of things I regret. However, I did not sleep with anyone. I am so thankful for that. It was bad enough as it was and I think the pornography I saw growing up (not my Dad's) really messed with my head. This was all before I got into the fundamentalist church I was in and the heartache I experienced was a large part of the reason I got into the fundamentalist church and was as hook, line and sinker as I was. On top of that, I think the church messed me up further with a lot of guilt, shame and condemnation. For example, I never thought about how "guys were" before church. But I sure did afterwards. I think it is a mixed bag. I hate to think people are just going to go out and casually have sex thinking they were really missing something because of what the church taught. I just don't see that. Im not saying I want to go out and be promiscious, although the temptation is there. Im saying I dont want anyone controlling me and telling me what I can and can't do with my body. Im tired of feeling that. If I want to go out and have sex with someone, Im gonna do it because I want to, and if that has bad repercussions then its my shoulder to wear it. I dont need a church or a god to tell me what is good or bad for me. I need to discern that for myself and work it out. This feeling of shame has been put there by something or someone and I want to work through it and take control of my own body and not have someone do it for me. I think the thing in life is to learn from your mistakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest I Love Dog Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 My brain certainly helps to cool my blood just before i go for a person's jugular, and a good thing too. lol, Gal, u just made my day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest I Love Dog Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Im not saying I want to go out and be promiscous, although the temptation is there. Im saying I dont want anyone controlling me and telling me what I can and can't do with my body. Im tired of feeling that. If I want to go out and have sex with someone, Im gonna do it because I want to, and if that has bad repercussions then its my shoulder to wear it. I dont need a church or a god to tell me what is good or bad for me. I need to discern that for myself and work it out. This feeling of shame has been put there by something or someone and I want to work through it and take control of my own body and not have someone do it for me. I think the thing in life is to learn from your mistakes. I don't think anyone(well, maybe some!) WANTS to go out and be promiscuous, per se, as I feel that most of us want a rewarding relationship, stable, with commitment, lasting, with total respect for each other. Sometimes, however, our inbuilt natural sexual urges seem to take over! This is basic, and supports the drive of all life forms on the planet to maintain the species and reproduce. It's a hard force to control sometimes, and the power or strength of that force varies with the individual. As you've realised, Christianity or the society that we live in, or parents, or peers, can produce a feeling of shame where sexual desires and matters are concerned. This is so obvious when it comes to say, masturbation, a completely natural and healthy exercise for humans(and may other life forms, but I can remember wondering how soon it would be before I went blind! Control of your own body is your total right and I trust that you'll work through it and negate that feeling of shame! I agree, that the thing in life is to learn from your mistakes. Sometimes we just don't, but that shouldn't give us a guilt trip, we just try and learn better next time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freespirit Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Im not saying I want to go out and be promiscious, although the temptation is there. Im saying I dont want anyone controlling me and telling me what I can and can't do with my body. Im tired of feeling that. If I want to go out and have sex with someone, Im gonna do it because I want to, and if that has bad repercussions then its my shoulder to wear it. I dont need a church or a god to tell me what is good or bad for me. I need to discern that for myself and work it out. This feeling of shame has been put there by something or someone and I want to work through it and take control of my own body and not have someone do it for me. I think the thing in life is to learn from your mistakes. Yeah, I agree with that. I think we have built in morality compasses, so to speak. I just don't like to see people hurt when they are not sure what their morality compass is. On the flipside, I don't like to see people hurt my religious authoritarianism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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