JadedAtheist Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 *arrghhh* I'm somewhat frustrated at the moment. As some of you may know from one of my status updates, I lost my job yesterday and I'm currently looking for work. Anyways, I asked him yesterday if he could get me a job and instead of saying "yes" or "no" he simply asks "why?" I then tell him what would seem to be the obvious; i.e. I no longer have a job and I need one and he proceeds to joke about how much that sucks (he's the kind of guy who always tries to lighten up a situation). Anyways, we couldn't finish the conversation because something came up so we talked again this afternoon. Instead of being helpful, which I hoped, he started giving me reasons why I wouldn't be suitable. First he starts off saying I wouldn't be able to handle the physical labor, then he complained about me having a criminal record (I don't have one, never even got close but he somehow got the impression that I did) and after a few minutes of this I got the shits and told him (while hiding my anger) "Look, I'm not forcing you to get me a job or put in a good word. If you don't want to that's fine. Just speak plainly to me". Then he was like "Oh, nah, nah it's not like that I just want to make sure that someone I'm recommending is legit and I may get into shit for recommending someone with a criminal record and oh, the hiring manager is out for like a week and a half..." Finally I had enough and I told him I had to go. This gives me the shits more than anything because I personally got him his last job. I never ever shoved this down his throat and I never will but he should be thankful (which he isn't based on another experience I had) at the very least. I was working at my company for barely a few weeks when I essentially begged my boss to at least meet my friend and see if he can take him on board (he didn't need anyone other than me at the time so I basically twisted his arm off convincing him). After meeting my friend he got him in for a trial day and wasn't pleased with his performance. I once again spent about an hour after work convincing him to give him a chance and he decided to put him on as part time temp. He eventually took him on full time and after that, not once, not twice but 3 times I personally stepped in and convinced my boss not to fire him after my friend did just totally unacceptable shit which I won't get into. He also talks about me not being fit for the job when I personally was made Assistant manager after a mere 3 months with no other experience before hand and then put in charge of one of our other branches after about 2 years of working there. I was the manager's right hand man and since he wasn't around much I was the de facto boss even when I was just the assistant manager. People would come to me for advice on various things (both personal and work related) despite being many years younger than most. Also, in terms of fitness, though I am hectically overweight I am still very fit when it comes to physical labor. His claims of me not being as fit as him are laudable. This is coming from someone who could lift one of my 30LB dumbbells without shaking (and even then could only do it once) while I did it (and now can do a lot more than that) effortlessly. I'm just very pissed off as there have been a lot of things that he has been doing that have been pissing me off. I guess the main issue is his pride. He has to be better than everyone else and needs to be patted on the back and can't let anyone else receive any recognition or praise whilst present. In order to be above everyone he feels the need to cut them down all the time through jokes and I normally put up with this but lately it's starting to get to me (I know I'm making him sound like a terrible person but these are the characteristics that I'm most focused on now as they are on my mind). He has double standards and is also very hypocritical. An excellent example is him talking down to someone very harshly for doing something that he was doing himself up until recently, as if he was on some higher ground. Anyways, I think I've vented enough. Thanks for listening. Also, do you have friends that make you want to fucking kill them sometimes? EDIT: I forgot to add that I got him not only his last job full time job but I also got his foot in the door at another place which he fucked up and lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 And you are still friends with this tool because?????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedAtheist Posted February 11, 2011 Author Share Posted February 11, 2011 And you are still friends with this tool because?????? lol, as I said I am probably making him sound worse than he is because my whole perspective is skewed by my anger at the moment. He does have a lot of shitty attributes but I probably (read: definitely) do too. We've known each other since we're kids and we consider each other as brothers. I'm just a little shocked/offended that he didn't jump at the opportunity to help me when I'm in need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 Jaded, you know, don't you, that the people we love the most are the people we can hate the most, too? It sounds like your relationship with your friend. Anyway, best of luck finding a job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Margee Posted February 11, 2011 Moderator Share Posted February 11, 2011 Jaded, Try talking to him about your honest feelings. Tell him how you feel. It's much like a marriage, there are 'bumps' in the road that sometimes need to be worked through. I have an older mentor that taught me to be as honest as I can. Long time friendships are worth it. Good luck with the job hunting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerces Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 And you are still friends with this tool because?????? Cause friendships are worth salvaging. Usually there is some underlying reason for the bullshit in the friendship, letting it sit n' cultivate only makes the problem grow n' mutate. Any relationship whether it be love or just friends, will have its bumps n' ruts. Obviously there are times when it goes too far, but this doesn't sound like one of those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted February 11, 2011 Super Moderator Share Posted February 11, 2011 From your story I can only gather that he treats you and others poorly, has an inflated ego, and lacks any empathy or sympathy. I hope this "good friend" is not your only friend. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I understand. There's this guy, Chris, on FB that drives me nuts. Keeps inviting me to his church (somewhere in Florduh), sending Chick tracts, inviting me to watch the 700 club with him, idolizes Benny Hinn. Sad really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted February 11, 2011 Super Moderator Share Posted February 11, 2011 Par, you need to put that d-bag in his place! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I understand. There's this guy, Chris, on FB that drives me nuts. Keeps inviting me to his church (somewhere in Florduh), sending Chick tracts, inviting me to watch the 700 club with him, idolizes Benny Hinn. Sad really. Just wait... soon he'll start trying to sell you Amway products! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 On a more serious note… JadedAtheist, I do have some friends that drive me crazy. However, they are still friends because there are many times that I do enjoy their company but more importantly, I know they would be there for me if I needed them. And I would be there for them if they needed help. I’m not sure what it is that makes this fellow your friend, but if you value the friendship, then I agree with Margee. You need to tell him how you feel about his lack of sensitivity and his unwillingness to help. Good luck with the job search! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerces Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 On a more serious note… JadedAtheist, I do have some friends that drive me crazy. However, they are still friends because there are many times that I do enjoy their company but more importantly, I know they would be there for me if I needed them. And I would be there for them if they needed help. I’m not sure what it is that makes this fellow your friend, but if you value the friendship, then I agree with Margee. You need to tell him how you feel about his lack of sensitivity and his unwillingness to help. Good luck with the job search! Exactly, communication is an extremely valuable key in any human relationship. 1+ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolish girl Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 On a more serious note… JadedAtheist, I do have some friends that drive me crazy. However, they are still friends because there are many times that I do enjoy their company but more importantly, I know they would be there for me if I needed them. And I would be there for them if they needed help. I’m not sure what it is that makes this fellow your friend, but if you value the friendship, then I agree with Margee. You need to tell him how you feel about his lack of sensitivity and his unwillingness to help. Good luck with the job search! This is how I feel about my ultra fundy, anti-evolution, anti-climate change, ant-anyscience that disagrees with god, big mouthed friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 I understand. There's this guy, Chris, on FB that drives me nuts. Keeps inviting me to his church (somewhere in Florduh), sending Chick tracts, inviting me to watch the 700 club with him, idolizes Benny Hinn. Sad really. Just wait... soon he'll start trying to sell you Amway products! And don't forget the Scientology meetings he keeps inviting you to along with the free personality test. Oh, and all those silly Tom Cruise pictures he keeps posting on everyone's FB walls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted February 11, 2011 Super Moderator Share Posted February 11, 2011 Oh, and all those silly Tom Cruise pictures he keeps posting on everyone's FB walls. A suppressive person such as yourself could benefit from auditing. How soon can you come to Clearwater? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted February 11, 2011 Share Posted February 11, 2011 And don't forget the Scientology meetings he keeps inviting you to along with the free personality test. Oh, and all those silly Tom Cruise pictures he keeps posting on everyone's FB walls. I have to keep insisting I won't send money to "Morons for jesus" and he shouldn't either. Sorry for the hijack, Jaded, but you sounded like you needed to vent and I thought a grin might help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedAtheist Posted February 12, 2011 Author Share Posted February 12, 2011 I don't mind. Just talking about it here helped. Plus sleeping on it helps put it behind as well. I'm over it now, thankfully Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 From your story I can only gather that he treats you and others poorly, has an inflated ego, and lacks any empathy or sympathy. I hope this "good friend" is not your only friend. I'm with Florduh on this, as usual. But then I'm 50. I have no further need to entertain assholes who think they are friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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