bitterdregs Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Hi all. I ran the gamut of religion/spirituality. I was raised Mormon. I never really fit in because I had too many questions they could not answer. I did'nt leave that church though until I was married off at 17 and at 19 had not become pregnant so they called me a "spinster". Unfortunately I've had some terrible run in's with them since then, but I'll post that in it's own time. I have dabbled in satanism ( which is just another biblical religion ), jehovah's witness..ism LOL, tv evangelism, new age, and kind of mixed with all of that, native american spirituality as my linage on my mother's side is of the Miami ( me-ah-me) tribe. I stopped calling myself a christian at about 29 ish. I still believed in the bible and christ but the people who dubbed themselves christians seemed to always act contrary to what christianity was supposed to be about. I decided I would not align myself with that so, I believed, but denounced the term "christian" and pursued a heavier traditional native american spirituality. I also had a problem with all of the violence of the god of the bible. He seemed a cruel, twisted SOB and the flip between the old and new testament made me wonder if god was'nt a multiple personality. I did love the christ story though. My absolute awakening has happened during the last 10 years. It started first when I was studying 3 things simultaneously. Prophecy, Geology/volcanism/planetary physics, and etymology. I'll tell that story in full later, but I discovered something that made me have NO DOUBT the god and jesus of the bible did not exist. I was in the room with one of my daughters and an X Mormon friend...we were all studying at the same time and hit the same truth at the same time. ( we'd all had the same dream the night before which is what got us in the room together studying this stuff ) It was shocking even though we had already drifted from christianity, the base programming was still there. We all had these dumb smiles on our faces. Mixtures of emotions warped through us. Relief, fear, happiness, anger, shame...I've never had so many emotions at the same time. At that point in time, all three of us were freed from our christian programming. To add to this, I found out just last year that I am a temporal lobe epileptic....and if you read up on that, my brain is kind of wired to believe in a God. I need to believe in a god...I admit that...fortunately because of what we discovered, I don't. I still wish a god did exist. Can't help it, it's how I am wired LOL Astral projection, jamais and deja vous, hallucinations...all of it because of a glitch in my temporal lobe. Before I knew, those experiences were what glued me to spirituality. They are very real feeling. I battle every day with thinking " ok so a god does'nt exist but what's the harm in pretending ?" Then I reel in my brain again LOL For me the hardest belief to give up is that of an afterlife. I'm still chewing on that one because that could be possible even without a god. maybe. Ok it's a longshot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eugene39 Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Hi, Bitterdregs. Yes, you have run the gamut. I think the after-life thing gets most of us. That topic gets revived rather frequently around here, and it's an idea that just takes time for it to die - maybe that's a poor choice of words. A couple of things you said did catch my attention, if you don't mind me asking. You were Mormon and mention "getting married off" at age 17. Were you in with the FLDS bunch, the Warren Jeffs types? Anyway, welcome to ex-c! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outlaw393 Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 I don't "believe" in an afterlife, I know there's an afterlife. And yes, I do believe an afterlife is possible without a god. Maybe our energy returns to the Earth, or returns to some other source. But to answer where we go we need to answer where we are from. And I don't think that answer is answer-able. I always wonder why people assume that if you're an atheist you can't/don't believe in an afterlife. I think we can. Anyways, I'm looking forward to seeing how you came to this truth of yours, that the biblical god/jesus don't exist. I'm interested in how you did this because I'm 26 YO and going through pretty much the same thing you are. I've studied all sorts of religions but have trouble believing in any of them - though right now I'm happy with two religions, I sorta jump back and forth. Good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitterdregs Posted February 12, 2011 Author Share Posted February 12, 2011 FLDS...no such thing. It's a front. You dont know that unless you are in the heirarchy or live as a second family. ( the first family is the one the public knows about and is legal ) They are only FLDS if they are part of the front or caught. Nope. This was the main Mormon church. They don't do things as blatantly as the front FLDS. They don't do arranged marriages...per se...they simply coerce into marriage in many instances. My marriage happened in Michigan. I divorced him when I left the mormon church. Thanks for the welcome ! Hi, Bitterdregs. Yes, you have run the gamut. I think the after-life thing gets most of us. That topic gets revived rather frequently around here, and it's an idea that just takes time for it to die - maybe that's a poor choice of words. A couple of things you said did catch my attention, if you don't mind me asking. You were Mormon and mention "getting married off" at age 17. Were you in with the FLDS bunch, the Warren Jeffs types? Anyway, welcome to ex-c! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitterdregs Posted February 12, 2011 Author Share Posted February 12, 2011 Thanks outlaw, I'll explain it here soon. It's going to take some time so I need to get all my chores done and have a day free. It's different from anything you've heard I suspect...but you'll find it makes a lot of sense I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outlaw393 Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Thanks outlaw, I'll explain it here soon. It's going to take some time so I need to get all my chores done and have a day free. It's different from anything you've heard I suspect...but you'll find it makes a lot of sense I think. Cool! Well I'll be looking forward to it!! Send me a message or something when you publish it. Otherwise I'll forget to look for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitterdregs Posted February 13, 2011 Author Share Posted February 13, 2011 Ok outlaw...I had some time left over today so I made the briefest post possible that explains what happened. I put it in the science section titled " WHAT is the God of the bible ?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts