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Why Does Everyone Blame My Every Sniffle On Leaving God?


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I've struggled with depression for most of my adult life. Before my deconversion, the "help" and encouragement I received from others was either that I have a chemical imbalance OR I just need more of Jesus/to be more surrendered, etc. Mostly though, it's been about the chemical imbalance. NOW that I've deconverted, I feel like everyone is hanging all issues, anger, depression on my lost relationship with God. I can hardly talk to my old friends because I *know* they are thinking my current problems stem from my loss of faith. As you may know from my posts, my marriage is falling apart and that's also "my fault" because of my deconversion. If I have a down day, I get the feeling that my friends are really worried about me. Everyone wants to pin it all on leaving Jesus. Even my daughter seems to be doing it. I feel like if my husband and I do divorce, it will be my fault in everyone's eyes, including hers. I'm trying to come to terms with that but it's hard.

 

It just sucks that I have all the same issues that I've always had. Before they were excused, prayed for, or explained but now, every problem that I have is because I don't love God anymore. It get's really old. I have genuine reasons for being depressed and angry (and I'm in therapy to deal with them). It kinda feels like I have to be fake for everyone so they will just stop trying to pick my life apart to show me why I need to come back to god.

 

 

I guess it's human nature to pin problems on the thing that you don't like/understand. My grandmother never liked it that I breastfed/extended breastfed and she blamed any issue/problem my babies had on that.

 

I don't know but I'm just tired of it. With Jesus/ Without Jesus my life/ my thoughts are no different. I'm finally coming to understand that taking care of myself is NOT selfish, I don't have to put myself last to please god, Having God in my life was no magic fix for me and I surely tried really hard and for a really long time. But everyone around me sincerely believes that if I'd just quit being so angry and rebellious, all my problems would magically disappear and God would fix everything and we'd all live happily ever after.

 

bleh.

 

 

 

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I'm with you on all counts :) These people are ignorant brainwashed idiots who see life through a hole the size of a dime because they cannot handle the real world.

 

The past 12-18 months since my deconversion has been the first period of time in 35 years that I have not felt suicidal. Speaks volumes.

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Because they are stupid self-centred idiots looking for any chance to gloat about how their imaginary friend does nothing except punish people who question him?

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I've always suffered from chronic depression, too. I feel like I have to put on a happy face even when I just want to go have a good cry, which of course just makes me more depressed.

 

Of course the day I finally came out to my husband that I didn't believe in god, I did have a good cry, which of course made him think that it was because I felt like there was no hope since I couldn't believe in god. I know I expected him to think that but it still shocked me when his reaction to me expressing emotions was that I had no hope.

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I know exactly what you mean about people blaming the "problems" in your life to leaving god (as if there was one to leave). I have gotten the same thing. I really hate it. But the way I look at it is that when those people say such things, it is no different than someone blaming an earthquake, hurricane, wildfire, and all the other things they come up with on some group's sinful behavior causing god's judgment to come down on everyone. It's silly superstitious nonsense. And when I think of it like that, it helps me not be too hard on the people who assert such things because they just don't know any better. It still makes me angry, though, and I wish they would shut-the-fuck up.

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I'm with you on all counts :) These people are ignorant brainwashed idiots who see life through a hole the size of a dime because they cannot handle the real world.

 

The past 12-18 months since my deconversion has been the first period of time in 35 years that I have not felt suicidal. Speaks volumes.

 

Hey glad to heart that!

 

People want to be brainwashed, they want to believe some magic power is going to make all the bad go away. It's basically the same thing as running from your problems. There is no power that's going to help you but yourself.

 

Religion is a drug, and drugs keep you from facing your problems.

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Freedom from Guilt,

 

Is there a non-theism based support group for people with depression in your community or somewhere nearby? It sounds like you need to fire your family and friends and adopt a better support system.

 

I know you feel trapped and all alone and having your problems blamed on not believing in god is like blaming me for my mom's back problems because I stepped on a crack. It's ridiculous, superstitious and life is too short for you to have to deal with that drivel.

 

You are right. Work on YOU. Heal YOU. Take steps to make YOU thrive. You won't become a selfish prick. You'll just become a more complete human who will be much more helpful to others without an old superstition.

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Case in Point People!!!!! My dd comes to me this morning to let me know that her best friend can't come to our house or spend the night. My daughter's friend can only say that her mother has told her a secret that she can't tell. What's the secret??? Am I a satanist now? Is the fact that my husband and I are having marriage problems a reason that she can't come over? Is just knowing that I believe something different than they do cause for a full out ban on our house? I'm just so damn hurt for my daughter. She shouldn't have to deal with their stupidity. And my non belief does not mean that our house is now a moral vacuum. I'm just so ready for her to make new friends. I hate this church, these stupid people and that my daughter's whole life is wrapped up with them.

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OMG!! You have the "god-is-pissed-at-you" cold? The horrors. If you don't shape up an earthquake or flood is just minutes from your door .

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Oh jeez I hate that. In fact it was one of the biggest problems in my marriage and for a long time I felt I had to pretend to never be sad. I have struggled with depression for years, an it was MUCH worse when trying to force myself into the Xian mold. Now everyone is disappointed in me for being me and thinking for myself, so YEAH of course it hurts!

 

I fucking HATE it that xianity divides people like this...I'm so sorry you're going through that.

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