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Sick Of Hiding ...


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Howdy Ex-Cers -

 

Been awhile since I've posted ... I was a more regular poster immediately following my deconversion a couple of years ago, but these days I don't get to visit often. Thanks to all of you who post your thoughts on this forum regularly, though - they serve as a great encouragement to me.

 

As I mentioned, it's been a little over 2 years since my husband and I went throught our deconversion process. I posted all about it on here at the time ... my parents disowned us (that status remains unchanged), friends abandoned us, and it was basically a pretty lonely time in our lives. Anyway, I've made some new friends, moved to a new neighborhood, managed to sorta make a new life.

 

Even still, I feel like I'm constantly hiding. Seems like every place I go, there's some well-meaning Christian hoping to save me, or to redeem my poor children from their heathen parents' ways. And now it's my new neighbors ... on two sides of me, I have folks who are hard-core churchgoers, and who jump at the opportunity to convert an, "unchurched" family. When they invite my daughter to church and she politely declines, they turn to me as if to say, "Your poor children, you don't take them to church?" Then they offer "no-pressure" invitations. "Your kids can ride with us to VBS!" "We have a great Wednesday night program!"

 

And the worst part is how hesitant I am to be honest with them. I hate myself for it, but the fact is that I know my kids are going to suffer for my unbelief, and I don't want to do that to them. If it were just about me, I'd be happy to honestly share my beliefs (or lack thereof, rather). But we've already run into enough experiences where parents' eyes rolls back in their respective heads when our kids say something to the effect of, "god's not real," that I worry constantly about how my kids will be treated because they have unbelieving parents. It's enough to sometimes make me want to just not socialize with other families.

 

Anyway, not fully sure of the reason for this post ... perhaps to hear how some of you handle similar situations, or just using ya'll as an outlet for my bitching (sorry). We're smack in the middle of the Bible Belt, and sometimes I'd give anything to relocate to a more liberal area where people wouldn't care about our belief system. I know there are others of you in a similar boat; care to commiserate? :)

 

Thanks for reading.

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So sorry you are going through all of this! I have no advice, honestly, but wanted to let you know I read your post. I am scared of all of that happening to myself and my husband if/when we come out too as non-believers.

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That sucks! Wish I had an answer to solve your problems. At least my religious neighbors don't typically make a big stink over it.

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My neighbors used to be similar, but the difference there is that my parents are believers, too. I think we just declined their invitations so much that they just quit bothering lol. Not really sure what else to do except maybe tell em you don't believe, but that might make it worse :P

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It is tough being one who knows and accepts the truth about Christianity when so many around you believe it is all true. Personally, I find that ExC is the community of my friends who believe as I do with regard to Christianity. There simply is no similar community in real life and absent some archaeological find which can't be refuted and which flat our proves what we already know, the bitter truth is that Christians rule. That's just the way it is. So use your discretion in telling others. Weigh the benefits you would potentially gain from telling others verses the potential risks that such actions would have on you and your family and do what that dictates.

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I can so relate to your story. Thanks for taking the time to share it.

 

If I ever wondered why I was scared to 'come out of the closet', it is articles like this one that do it for me. Makes us non-believers look pretty bad!:twitch:

Research Finds that Atheists are Most Despised, Most Distrusted Minority:

 

http://atheism.about.com/od/atheistbigotryprejudice/a/AtheitsHated.htm

 

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