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The Ring


Galien
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This is probably some weird shit but I will throw it out there anyway. You guys are probably used to my airy fairy crap by now.

 

I have never been much of a Lord of the Rings fan. My ex-husband loves it and used to read it to me to put me to sleep when I was pregnant. Usually took about five minutes. It wasn’t until I saw the movie that it finally made sense. I love the part where the ring is offered to Galadriel, who rejects it because she knows it will corrupt her.

 

When I was about 5 I started to observe human behaviour. I could not then, and still cannot understand what happens to human beings when you put them into groups. For me, our culture teaches us many things, but they are not all good things. It is like one needs to take on the package of socialisation which can contain some pretty nasty shit, just to fit in with others. Then it is like fitting in is more important than anything and everything, including the way we choose to treat others.

 

Rejecting that package is like rejecting the ring for me. I know if I accept it, that it will corrupt me, and allow me to to treat others in ways that are not right to fit into the group. Trouble is I don’t want to be corrupted. I would rather end up on my own than conform and be an asshole.

 

People tell me that evolution makes us behave this way for our survival. My experience has been that it is one’s own pack that bites the hardest and leaves the deepest wounds when one refuses to conform, or back up their view of things, or threatens their world view, or challenges “the way things are”.

 

I used to think it was because I was among Christians who are a strongly group orientated bunch anyway who need each other to back up their beliefs. I realise now that most of life is like this. It only seems to be the people who have made peace with themselves and their world who don’t have to constantly be backed up by the others around them. I find this quite hard to deal with. I think I thought that if I wasn’t around Christians any more I would not be around this kind of thinking.

 

Now I am beginning to realise it is human nature itself that I don’t understand, and really don’t like very much. Does anyone else struggle with these things or am I the only weirdo in the village?

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am I the only weirdo in the village?

This village has its fair share of both weirdos AND idiots :HaHa:

 

I think everyone struggles with acceptance v integrity. "Fitting in" is one of our primary drives. Charismatic church services, mob psychology and even political parties demonstrate the need we all have to get along with a group. To say out loud, "The emperor has no clothes" requires either courage or childlike naivete.

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am I the only weirdo in the village?

This village has its fair share of both weirdos AND idiots :HaHa:

 

I think everyone struggles with acceptance v integrity. "Fitting in" is one of our primary drives. Charismatic church services, mob psychology and even political parties demonstrate the need we all have to get along with a group. To say out loud, "The emperor has no clothes" requires either courage or childlike naivete.

 

Guess I have an overdose of both. I used to think the truth was important to people, imagine my horror at 46 when I realised it wasn't. I guess that suggests more naivete than anything else. For me doing the right thing has always been more important than fitting in. Jesus was watching me you know Florduh!!! Now I am watching me with the same eagle eye. I wonder if there is a way to stop doing that, or if it is so entrenched in my personality I will always be the same. A girl has gotta have a hobby I guess :)

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This is probably some weird shit but I will throw it out there anyway. You guys are probably used to my airy fairy crap by now.

 

I have never been much of a Lord of the Rings fan. My ex-husband loves it and used to read it to me to put me to sleep when I was pregnant. Usually took about five minutes. It wasn’t until I saw the movie that it finally made sense. I love the part where the ring is offered to Galadriel, who rejects it because she knows it will corrupt her.

 

When I was about 5 I started to observe human behaviour. I could not then, and still cannot understand what happens to human beings when you put them into groups. For me, our culture teaches us many things, but they are not all good things. It is like one needs to take on the package of socialisation which can contain some pretty nasty shit, just to fit in with others. Then it is like fitting in is more important than anything and everything, including the way we choose to treat others.

 

Rejecting that package is like rejecting the ring for me. I know if I accept it, that it will corrupt me, and allow me to to treat others in ways that are not right to fit into the group. Trouble is I don’t want to be corrupted. I would rather end up on my own than conform and be an asshole.

 

People tell me that evolution makes us behave this way for our survival. My experience has been that it is one’s own pack that bites the hardest and leaves the deepest wounds when one refuses to conform, or back up their view of things, or threatens their world view, or challenges “the way things are”.

 

I used to think it was because I was among Christians who are a strongly group orientated bunch anyway who need each other to back up their beliefs. I realise now that most of life is like this. It only seems to be the people who have made peace with themselves and their world who don’t have to constantly be backed up by the others around them. I find this quite hard to deal with. I think I thought that if I wasn’t around Christians any more I would not be around this kind of thinking.

 

Now I am beginning to realise it is human nature itself that I don’t understand, and really don’t like very much. Does anyone else struggle with these things or am I the only weirdo in the village?

I've never fit in with the group, no matter what group it is. I feel the most comfortable when I'm around 1 or 2 people, any more than that and I feel like it's too many. Feels overcrowded. Sometimes I feel a loathing for large groups like communities and societies They seem threatening and dangerous, evil even. I get along though and pretend to fit in, but only so I can have the things I want in life.

 

I read LOTR and loved it, hated the movies though. Probably has something to do with my anti-group mentality. Most though it's because I think Peter Jackson is a shitty director, should have gotten Terry Gillian.

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Interesting analogy. I'm surprised what people can do in groups. Nice people turn into assholes quickly. I'm sure the kids bullying that boy in the topic I posted wouldn't have acted as such animals if they acted as individuals rather than in a group.

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am I the only weirdo in the village?

 

Galien if you think your sensitivity to socialization is weird, let me lay a little weirdness on you!

 

What if socialization is only an evolutionary mutation? A mutation that improves the ability of survival, reproduction and the ability to thrive.

 

You must remember that there is no motivation whatsoever to evolution. If you start assigning human feelings and motives to evolution (AKA "mother nature") you'll get into trouble. Evolution is does not have motives and feelings, it is not malevolent. Nature is utterly indifferent to suffering.

 

Pain is a crucial trait in evolution, as are happiness, anger, jealousy and all or our emotions. But evolution does't "care" about your or my state of mind, only our survival as a species.

 

The truth is, in relation to our happiness, the suffering, and the utter indifference of natural selection is in reality quite unpleasant.

 

The truth is life is struggle and then you die.

 

Science in this regard has never cheered me up. Now the popular brands of religion; Judaism, Islam and Christianity preach that all our pain and suffering are temporary and some day evil will be defeated and we will live in peace and harmony. That's a sell!

 

Evolution is not good or evil, it favors those who survive. The numbers are stacked; believers are the largest crowd even though they may kill each other off with intolerance. Neither is a cheery picture!

 

"In every country and in every age, the priest [i would add the politician, tyrant and dictator] as been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuse in return for protection to his own."--Thomas Jefferson 1814

 

"It may be life is only worthwhile at moments. Perhaps that is all we ought to expect."  -Sherwood Anderson

 

Happiness, joy, honor, courage, love, respect, dignity etc. are only the byproducts of life, emotions we find only worthwhile at moments, hopefully a lot of moments. The number of those worthwhile moments are mostly up to us if we are lucky or are fortunate enough not to have been beaten down by tragedy, disease, old age, abuse.

 

Life, well, it's life nothing, more nothing less.

 

Weird and Crazy,

 

saner

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am I the only weirdo in the village?

 

 

The truth is, in relation to our happiness, the suffering, and the utter indifference of natural selection is in reality quite unpleasant.

 

The truth is life is struggle and then you die.

 

Science in this regard has never cheered me up. Now the popular brands of religion; Judaism, Islam and Christianity preach that all our pain and suffering are temporary and some day evil will be defeated and we will live in peace and hormony. That's a sell!

 

Evolution is not good or evil, it favors those who survive. The numbers are stacked believers are the largest crowd even though they may kill the other off with intolerance. Neither is a cheery picture!

 

Happiness, joy, honor, courage, love, respect, dignity etc. are only the byproducts of life, emotions we find only worthwhile at momentsL

 

 

Evolution is not good or evil, but i'm over it as a justification for anything. Christianity never gave me any comfort, I live in the here and now not the later and there. The qualities you mention are always worthwhile, and I believe love is the only thing that makes it all worth it. :)

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Evolution is not good or evil, but i'm over it as a justification for anything. Christianity never gave me any comfort, I live in the here and now not the later and there. The qualities you mention are always worthwhile, and I believe love is the only thing that makes it all worth it. 

 

 

May you find justification and comfort in love.

 

saner

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Evolution is not good or evil, but i'm over it as a justification for anything. Christianity never gave me any comfort, I live in the here and now not the later and there. The qualities you mention are always worthwhile, and I believe love is the only thing that makes it all worth it. 

 

 

May you find justification and comfort in love.

 

saner

 

I do find comfort in love, but there are some things that there are no justification for. I always thought we all had a choice about who we are. We either choose to give to the world, or take from it. It's up to us.

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I thought so too Galien! But that's only half the truth.

 

Life asks none of us whether we will accept life. "That is not the choice. You must take it. The only question is how." Beecher

 

A good friend told me: "when you find yourself in a battle with the cold hard facts of your life, lose. There are no triumphs over truth and reason."

 

Those two sentences justify nothing they only helped me to learn to morn when I need to morn and to fret less.

 

Paul Eldridge said; "We mourn the transitory things and fret under the yoke of the immutable ones."

 

Life is gift or burden. The choice is ours alone.

 

Grace for me is being satisfied with the immutable.

 

Only you can de/side and chose for your self what is satisfactory for you! Membership is not an option. We are already members of the human species because we breath whether we accept it or not!

 

Mary Oliver says:

 

When its over, I don't want to wonder

if I have made of my life something particular, and real.

 

I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,

or full of argument.

 

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

 

Nor do I!

 

Peace, Galien!

saner

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Only you can de/side and chose for your self what is satisfactory for you! Membership is not an option. We are already members of the human species because we breath whether we accept it or not!

 

 

 

Membership is one thing, how I live my life is my choice alone. It is one of the very few things that cannot be taken from me. Even if I were to die today, I would know that I had truly lived and truly loved, and that is the completion of the circle :)

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I always thought we all had a choice about who we are. We either choose to give to the world, or take from it. It's up to us.

 

People's ability to choose who they are varies. Most people will never be able to change their core personality. Some people seem to be driven more by instinct than rational thought. Coming to terms with this allowed me to let go of the hate I had towards my ex-wife. She really is a piece of shit. She's a child in an adult's body. She's extremely narcissistic, dishonest, and stupid. I felt no animosity towards her when we divorced, but I hated her very much afterwards for turning my sons against me. However, I realized that she simply acted in a way that is consistent with who she is. Being angry at her doesn't accomplish any more for me than being angry at a tornado that might destroy my house. It's like that story in "Natural Born Killers" about the man who took in an injured rattle snake, nursed it back to good health, and then was bitten by the snake. He asked the snake why the snake bit him, and the snake replied, "because I'm a snake".

 

Most people are the same way to varying degrees. You can get angry at them, wonder why they don't change their behavior, act illogically, etc. Just come to terms with it, let go of the anger, and find a way to protect yourself from people who might hurt you.

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