Went To A Funeral And Got Saved

[Kyle]

No, not really. The only thing I saved was some gas by riding with someone else. Why do they insist on ruining a memorial with a full "come to jeeezuz" sermon??????

[dB-Paradox]

That's the lowest one can possibly stoop to. Taking advantage of people's emotions and manipulating them at their most tragic time. I wonder what's going to happen when the bereaved begin to move on. The religious injection may wear off.

[FourDogBrewing]

Just last Sunday I went to a funral for a young friend. It was highly religious, people comforting themselves with the thought that he must be in heaven now. Just one of those security blankets that religion provides.

 

What I found interesting is that my friends brother (a friend as well) complained about how religious it was. lol

[Foxy Methoxy]

I had a friend who died in a car wreck years ago. He was an atheist and had no use for religious rhetoric. His parents, on the other hand, are hardcore Southern Baptists. His funeral included a made up story that he got saved right before he died and a long, droning, typical Southern Baptist sermon on God's mercy and how no one knows when they'll die, except our merciful Lord. It was some of the most insulting garbage ever. If they really wanted to honor their son in his style, they would have passed around a joint and explained why Phish was a suckass replacement for The Grateful Dead.

[Suzy]

I had a friend who died in a car wreck years ago. He was an atheist and had no use for religious rhetoric. His parents, on the other hand, are hardcore Southern Baptists. His funeral included a made up story that he got saved right before he died

 

That's such a disrespect to the dead person.

 

 

I was at the funeral of a colleague about one and a half years ago. I don't think he was very religious or religious at all - but I cannot be sure, we have never talked about that, it's just that he didn't give me the impression he was religious. A cultural Xtian at max. Anyway, it was a Catholic funeral and it was one of the strangest sermons for a dead person I have seen, because the priest actually didn't say he is sure in heaven right now bla-bla-bla. In fact he was even mildly critical of him for not being a church goer a more devout Xtian and he said he could only hope God would forgive him etc. That was odd and for the life of me I didn't understand why his family would put themselves through this. It wasn't overly rude, but if you paid attention it wasn't very positive either. Why let your dead be criticized by a priest at his funeral? Of course I cannot be sure if it wasn't he who requested the Catholic funeral (he was sick for a long time).

 

 

[Ro-bear]

From their perspective, they would be remiss in their Christian duties if they passed up such an opportunity to bring people to the lord using the fear card. Conditions are perfect: people are emotionally vulnerable, you got the dead body as a prop (hopefully casket open), it's a time when we all contemplate our own mortality---what better time to instill a little fear so people can find peace in Jesus?

[Vigile]

I had a friend who died in a car wreck years ago. He was an atheist and had no use for religious rhetoric. His parents, on the other hand, are hardcore Southern Baptists. His funeral included a made up story that he got saved right before he died and a long, droning, typical Southern Baptist sermon on God's mercy and how no one knows when they'll die, except our merciful Lord. It was some of the most insulting garbage ever. If they really wanted to honor their son in his style, they would have passed around a joint and explained why Phish was a suckass replacement for The Grateful Dead.

 

I hope it wasn't Jose. Where is he anyway?

[asanerman]

Kyle I regret that your friends "memorial" service was tainted.

 

Since a funeral, as I understand it, is preformed for the living, I have instructed in my will that upon my death that what organs are usable shall be donated to science and what remains of my body be cremated. Any service held in memorial be lead by family and friends. Any clergy may attend but are band from speaking.

 

Enough, already, of the toxic religious viruses!

 

Just a little dignity and respect for the ones who dignified and respected my life, is all I ask of dying.

 

To Good Grief,

saner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a

[Foxy Methoxy]

I had a friend who died in a car wreck years ago. He was an atheist and had no use for religious rhetoric. His parents, on the other hand, are hardcore Southern Baptists. His funeral included a made up story that he got saved right before he died and a long, droning, typical Southern Baptist sermon on God's mercy and how no one knows when they'll die, except our merciful Lord. It was some of the most insulting garbage ever. If they really wanted to honor their son in his style, they would have passed around a joint and explained why Phish was a suckass replacement for The Grateful Dead.

 

I hope it wasn't Jose. Where is he anyway?

 

No. Not him. We don't work for our old company anymore, so neither of us are sitting in front of a computer all day bored and dicking around on message boards anymore. We haven't kept in touch, so I don't know what he's up to.

[MagickMonkey]

Doesn't this thread make you think about Pat Tillman's funeral.

 

 

[hereticzero]

Yeah, I'm from a So. Baptist fundy family and the So. Baptist never let an opportunity to use someone's death as a reminder about how much we all need Heyzeus The Great! I hear it every funeral. It does get tiring after a while.

[SillyString]

Doesn't this thread make you think about Pat Tillman's funeral.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My thoughts exactly.

 

 

[Stamps1962]

Yeah, I'm from a So. Baptist fundy family and the So. Baptist never let an opportunity to use someone's death as a reminder about how much we all need Heyzeus The Great! I hear it every funeral. It does get tiring after a while.

 

 

My family was GARBC Baptist, almost as bad. My dad was a hardcore Baptist part time preacher, he and I were very estranged in his later years. His funeral, at his request, included the entire 'plan of salvation', I am surprised there wasn't an altar call. The whole thing went on and on for over an hour, it was terrible. I think he wanted it that way for my benefit, maybe thinking I'd be so overcome with guilt I'd repent then and there. All it accomplished was a lot of very upset people suffering through all that drivel.

Some church friend of theirs mailed me a copy on VHS, I think I taped over it..

[Kyle]

Hey magicmonkey, thanks for the Pat Tilman clip. Never seen it before

[MagickMonkey]

Hey magicmonkey, thanks for the Pat Tilman clip. Never seen it before

 

No prob.

[millips]

I remember one funeral I was unfortunate enough to attend. It was of a distant aunt, and held at a strict Baptist Chapel................which should have rung the warning bells! Anyway, after a very short eulogy to the dear departed the preacher got into full gear and began his spiel, which went on for at least 15 minutes, exhorting all those present to "come to the Lord". There was also a very old guy sitting at the back, who every so often cried out "hallelujah"!! to emphasise certain points. But at the end there was a comical bit. As the preacher finally said he had reached the end of his sermon, someone just along from us whispered (quite loudly) "Thank God for that!" which caused a few titters, (though not another cry of hallelujah)

 

But I must say, the sandwiches afterwards were mighty fine.

 

[par4dcourse]

I wrote about my niece's funeral a couple years ago. She died of alcoholism and a sad day was made worse by the "message." It was almost amusing watching the preachers' give a "you can avoid roasting in hell" sermon while trying not to actually say "like she is."

Bastards prey on emotional people.

[Brought None]

I believe I've only been to one funeral so far that wasn't a pew call to come get saved. Course this is the South I'm in. The worst one I can remember was over a year ago. A friend of my father passed and at the funeral it was full on Southern Baptist smack to the face pew call. First part was talking about the man for one minute and the other twenty minutes was about Jesus and his miracles. There was even a part bragging about how great it is to be a Southern Baptist than any other denomination. It was nothing but a Sunday sermon. My dad even found it strange and unnerving cause his buddy was not religious and sure as hell didn't want to have anything to do with the church due to past events in his life that shredded his family up. He felt it was done by his buddies family as a way to get the last word in as they chucked him into the grave.

[MagickMonkey]

My dad's funeral was religious, but that was kinda ok. He was a religious man. What was not ok was the religious bigotry that took place. My mom's family are baptists, and we were CoC'ers. My Uncle, a baptist preacher, spoke for a while, and a church of christ preacher spoke. The CoC preacher and some of the "elders" from the church we used to attend refused to pray with my uncle because he was not a "real" christian. This was behind the scenes, but the awkwardness could be felt during the whole service.

[Stamps1962]

It's not just funerals, how about weddings?

 

My neice was married last year in a Lutheran church. The ceremony was marred by the minister making an overt statement against gay marriages. He worked it into the talk he gave while they were at the altar, about how God intended marriage to be only between one man and one woman. Bad enough, he then took a swipe at those tryting to change this as working against 'the holy scriptures.'

 

What this poor doofus didn't know (nor, may have the goom's family) was that among the attendees on my neice's side were two gay couples. One couple was so angry they didn't stay long for the reception. My neice knows about this so I don't know if she knew this was coming or not, probably she was afraid to say no, not wanting her husband's family to know she was marrying into such a permissive family.

 

I guess I have a lot to learn about some denominations. I could see Baptists doing this, but Lutherans?

[Vomit Comet]

No, not really. The only thing I saved was some gas by riding with someone else. Why do they insist on ruining a memorial with a full "come to jeeezuz" sermon??????

 

Back when I was a flaming Pentecostal, if I would have found myself laid up in the hospital with weeks to live, I would have specifically requested the most bat-shit foaming-at-the-mouth Pentecostal preacher I knew to preach at my funeral to my godless family. As in, it would have been some crazy motherfucker that would have grabbed my grandma by the collar and sent spittle and onion breath right into her weeping face.

 

A memorial would only be "ruined" if that's not what the dead person would have wanted. If the dead person would have wanted the funeral-goers to be harangued with a 'come to Jesus' sermon, then so be it. If the dead person would have wanted a hobo clown playing the banjo with his dick, so be it!

[Vomit Comet]

I had a friend who died in a car wreck years ago. He was an atheist and had no use for religious rhetoric. His parents, on the other hand, are hardcore Southern Baptists. His funeral included a made up story that he got saved right before he died and a long, droning, typical Southern Baptist sermon on God's mercy and how no one knows when they'll die, except our merciful Lord.

 

See, now that's obviously fucked up.

 

But if their son was as well a 'hardcore Southern Baptist' who requested with his dying breaths that there be an obnoxious preacher laying down the gospel at his funeral, then that would have indeed been the proper thing.

[Guest Babylonian Dream]

My grandpa was about as stubborn a man as you can find, and he didn't believe in god. My folks said he asked for forgiveness and became a christian again on his deathbed while dying of cancer. I doubt it. I wasn't there, but knowing my grandpa....

 

I remember my grandpa being a wise man, who had opinions of the Bible and of churches that I came to agree with, but at the time, didn't even know what to think of. He called them all fraud, organized crime, mafia, everything else you can think of. He saw them as suspicious conartists. To think that he'd actually take all that back and become a christian again, I doubt it. I doubt he said it to comfort them as well though.

 

Knowing that he was on his deathbed dying of cancer, seeing that everyone was worried and sad. He tried making a joke about seeing a light above him, and trying to climb up the stairs. He, at the same time, tried making that look he usually makes when messing around. His sense of humor was never on the sensitive side. I doubt, because of this, he got "saved" as they said he did on his deathbed.

 

Unfortunately, this kind of disrespect towards peoples loved ones, is common at funerals it seems. I wasn't suprised at what happened at Pat Tillman's funeral, but I feel bad that the brother and his family had to deal with the nation's "Cult of Divine Heroes and Military" during their tragedy.

 

I think that funerals should be a time to come to terms with what happened and get closure, not to have some religious invasion of your life at a time when you're the most vulnerable. But afterall, that's the only time religion gets to people. It does it then, because the religious, like predators, go after you because your vulnerable:

[stryper]

I personally want at my funeral a speaker for the Dead like in the Ender Books.

 

A person who recounts the life warts and all. The good with the bad and just leaves it at that.

 

The last funeral I went too was for my father in-law. They did have a catholic priest there. He dressed in a plain suit. No collar or anything. During the viewing they had some of dad in-laws favor music playing. Janis Joplin at Montrose, Pete Seager , and other bluegrass and blues.

 

I was on child minding duty so I didn't get to see alot of the actual "service". I think the preist was brought in because a) then the family didn't have to talk b-. expected tradition. From what my wife said later the priest talked with a few people and then just re-told the stories.

 

So it seems it really depends on how the family handles it to. Mother in-law would have skinned the priest alive if he had done any soul saving.

[par4dcourse]

If the dead person would have wanted a hobo clown playing the banjo with his dick, so be it!

 

I hereby revise my funeral wishes.