LloydDobler Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 hey yeah im 16, so i guess i should prob wait. my boyfriend and i have been together for about 6 months and we're both not christians but havent had sex, i decided i would explore peoples views on the matter but as long as i am unsure of whether i want to or not im not goin to. i was a christian when my boyfriend and i first dated and so he didnt mind then that i wasn't going to have sex till i was married, he still is values my descision and is not going to force me into anything.and altho that was a lot of advice it was all great and i did actually find it all relevant! thanku very much and lol i will definately check out your friend's website it sounds great lol thanx again <{POST_SNAPBACK}> All I can say is that if you think there's any chance of you winding up in a car or house alone where you might be tempted to go all the way... Obtain birth control NOW so that there's no fear if that time comes. Trust me, it is very easy to go 'oh what the hell' when your hormones are guiding your actions more than your intellect. If you think that's a possibility at all, go get it and learn to use it exactly right, or it can let you down. Other than that, all the christian propaganda about sex being a very emotional experience still has a lot of truth in it, depending on who you are. Sharing sex with someone can fool you into thinking you love that person unless you know how to handle it and know what love is. Just be cautious and understand that breaking up might be just a little harder if you've done the deed. The attachments that can be generated can also cause you to stay loyal to someone who perhaps isn't the best partner for you, that you should break up with. Just think it through from a selfl-preservation standpoint, and get educated on the subject. If you can, watch stuff like that 'talk sex' show on Oxygen network with Sue Johannsen. She's hilarious because here's this older kinda grandma lookin lady who suddenly with no warning will whip out a dildo and start handling it while she talks about penises. But it's also extremely educational. Once you've had some experience with sex you'll know how you handle it and if you can be casual about it and stuff like that. But until then my message is just 'be cautious to minimize the possible hurt'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 Welcome to the forum, Confuzzled. At this point, I don't have anything better to add than what has been said already. But make no mistake about it... If I have something to say to you, you're going to hear it! OOOOoooh, you're going to hear it! Welcome, again. Welcome back, TPO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Confuzzled Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 lol yeah yeah my spelling is perhaps not something to be desired lol all i can say to you is MEH! ehem, the word that sums up all feeling - in my opinion that is! ehem moving swiftly on, away from the mad and twisted workings of my mind: yeah ta about the cautions etc, lol if and when the time comes, knowing me, i will be so cautious that it will most probably put my boyf right off lol - 'hmmm maybe, i mean i know im on the pill, have a coil in and ur wearing a condom, but do u think u could perhaps try wearing two?' lol no seriously i can actually imagine myself saying that! ah dear **hangs head in shame** lol anyway yeah, sorry is there anything else people would like to discuss cus iv made this all about me which is kinda mean! ah yeah and Fweethawt i would love to hear what u have to say when u do, if that makes sense lol! one other thing can anyone explain what TPO means? (i'm embaressingly retarded when it comes to abreviations) lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caretaker Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 TPO = ThePureOne.... One of the members who replied above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest vanesa Posted October 27, 2005 Share Posted October 27, 2005 Well Confuzzled, I'd say the sooner you shake off Xtianity the better you are. Religion will screw up a young mind. I never was a Xtian but I do agree with most of the people here that Xtianity is a scam. Your boyfriend is right, you have a good guy with you. As far as sex is concerned, I don't care what floats other people's boats. I can't tell you about sex because sex is not life. Besides, anyone consistently blurting out their sexual lives on the Internet probably has some bolts loose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sbwilley Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 Confuzzled: The users here are giving good advice. Read a lot, and don't look for anybody to hand you the answer. That's what the church was trying to do. As you read, keep the attitude of the problem-solving scientist in mind. Science is tentative, cautious. Science phrases it's propositions in ways that make them subject to disproof. Religion claims that knowledge comes from a higher power that isn't subject to disproof. It has never yielded a single useful result for inquiry into the physical world. This testimony forum provides lots of people, of various backgrounds, who have weighed it and found it wanting in terms of helping the human spirit also (MENE MENE TEKEL UPHARSIN). If you're looking for affirmation and support, there's plenty. Don't jump to any quick conclusion if your boyfriend breaks your heart. You could do everything he wants and still not be the one he decides to spend his life with. If you are moving too fast, your emotions over him and your epistemological uncertainty could become a tangled mess. Your family will be quick to tell you he was pumping you full of lies because he's a sinner. Just a word of caution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bbsmokey98 Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 This post removed for violation of Guidelines for Testimonies section. Poster is given "Strike One" from daFatman, written warning for "Preaching in place specifically denied to sectarians to do so at ExChristian dot net." Do not reply to this post, do not post again in the Testimonies section. kevinL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caretaker Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 ... bbsmokey98 If you have read the guidelines for posting in the "Testimonies" forum, you will notice that this section is not open for Christians to post. What you did is very much what it would be like if one of us stormed into your church during services and preaching about how confused all of you are. Now, would you like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 This post removed for violation of Guidelines for Testimonies section. Poster is given "Strike One" from daFatman, written warning for "Preaching in place specifically denied to sectarians to do so at ExChristian dot net." Do not reply to this post, do not post again in the Testimonies section. kevinL Awe man, I was about to raz this guy big time. Didn't notice it was in the Testimonies forum though. Smokey, go smoke a bowl and chill alright? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greasemonkey Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 Hi C! Hope you are still checking your thread! I'm 39, and my dad just figured out (with no possible wiggle room) that I was an athiest/agnostic this year. I attribute it mostly to denial on his part, because we agreed back in the 80's not to discuss religion anymore. He's a retired southern baptist minister, so you can probably imagine how he could be in a little denial. Both of my brothers are also agnostic/athiest, but we try to be respectful of his beliefs, although we are all pretty firm in our own. There was another girl on here a while back who was concerned because her parents were having fits about her refusal to go to church, and I suggested she consider a Unitarian church, since they tend to be extremely accepting of atheists, agnostics, pagans, whatever... they don't believe in hell, and strongly encourage questioning of anything. I can't speak for all of them, but here in the Dallas area they are pretty good. You got some great advice from the others, and I just wanted to give you a couple of internet links for some good reading. http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/the...-christian.html Infidels has some great stuff, even from a few former and present ministers. You might get a lot of value from reading some of thier stories and articles. http://www.jesuspuzzle.com/ This is a good site that deals heavily in the history of Jesus as a myth (very similar to "The Jesus Mysteries" someone else brought up). "Mysteries" is a good book, but I prefer the books by Burton Mack a little more, although they can be some pretty heavy reading. The "Jesus Seminar" has a lot of great info if you google it, but once again, they can be some heavy reading. Good luck in your search for answers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highvoltage Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 em, When I deconverted from Christianity, it was a maddening, and sometimes terrifying endeavor. I knew that I no longer believed the myths in the bible, but I was scared of all of the teachings of hell and how meaningless life would be without god (or so all of the religious people in my life have always said). It's pretty crazy how even if you no longer believe in hell, it still comes back to haunt you. It was only through much thought, study, and contemplation about the meaning of it all, and the search for my own answers that helped me through my deconversion process. Also lots of swearing and venting at god (blaspheming) for lying to me all my life helped too. Not in public, mind you, but at least in private. I have also found a much deeper sense of satisfaction from seeking the truth for myself and testing every hypothesis to find my own answers than I ever did from the xtian faith. As I'm sure you know, my story (and yours) are indeed too complex to entirely detail on a forum such as this, but it's important to realize that you're not alone in your journey, and there are many of us out there who've discovered the bible for what it really is. A book of myths and wishful thinking by scared people in a world that they could not describe in any other way than to write about a god that controls all that is out of their grasp. You've come to the right place with your concerns, as many of us here have been in very similar circumstances. The stressfulness of the situation will subside with time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Christ Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 oh and what are u guys' views on sex - b4 or after marriage? thats yet another thing im confused about! my user name sums me up Regarding sex, it's always best to quote someone else who said it better, my father. "Always try before you buy." I'll even take it a bit further, never marry anyone who you haven't lived with for an extended period of time or had sex with. You definitely want to know what you're getting yourself into. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poonis Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 hey, my name is em and im so confused about what i believe in. my whole family are christians and firmly believe in god, jesus, the works, and i did up until about 4 months ago. My boyf is not a christian and has opened my eyes up as to how stupid the bible is and how much it contradicts itself. i recently told my parents and afew christian friends about my loss of faith and made my mum and one of my male friends break down into tears, this has made me feel even mor horrible and guilty. i really want my faith back as it was such a big part of me but i just dont feel that it can be real. please can someone help to convince me that i dont want to go back to being a christian? thanx x oh and what are u guys' views on sex - b4 or after marriage? thats yet another thing im confused about! my user name sums me up Confuzzled, to cut right to the chase: overcome your fear of death. Ignorance of death is the *only* thing that *all* christians have in common. I cannot help you overcome your fear of death, just as you cannot help anyone else overcome theirs, save for this: realization that you truly do fear death, and in one form or another you live your life in the control of death, is the first step in overcoming Christianity. From my site: http://nerp.net/~benb/religion/ 7. Theistic beliefs become irrelevant and without merit in accordance to the degree of the dissipation of the fear of death, the hallmark of what is unknown. I wish you well. I've been there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 oh and what are u guys' views on sex - b4 or after marriage? thats yet another thing im confused about! my user name sums me up Regarding sex, it's always best to quote someone else who said it better, my father. "Always try before you buy." I'll even take it a bit further, never marry anyone who you haven't lived with for an extended period of time or had sex with. You definitely want to know what you're getting yourself into. I agree. When I was a Christian I was engaged to a person and thankfully just before the wedding found out that he was not exactly blessed. The phrase "roll of dimes" would be an accurate description. I feel really sorry for his wife who I know didn't find out what kind of small change she'd gotten until her wedding night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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