Tromaphona The Cat:

[Onyx]

Tromaphona: A Fairy Tale Without a Moral

By Onyx

 

Long ago, there was a cat that was famous for his uprightness in dealings with people and cat alike, he was rainbow striped and he lived in a city like Rome... except that it wasn't Rome. He could speak in four languages and his name was Tromaphona.

 

Anyway, in the corner of the forum, he tiptoed, trying to hide but all the other cats flashed their eyes on him, and ladies were screaming at him to speak greetings in different languages, as they were wont to do when they saw him. He sighed. All he had eyes was for that little boy hidden in the sway and the rustle of the petticoats. He had just lost something, it seemed.

 

He was crying, and Tromaphona asked him, "What's the matter therein?"

The boy answered, "Good Sir, my little painting was stolen by two horrible women - that was the true picture of my mummies."

Tromaphona let out a deep purring sigh. "Don't worry. I will get it for thee. Whereabouts did ever they go?"

The boy pointed to the long hallway that was called Via Longa Archea, which was the longest arched hallway in Europe. "They went right through that way."

Tromaphona obtained the description of the thieves from him, then reverted to the four leg creep that was typical of his kind (he could walk) and whizzed and whisped through the crowds that thronged the hallway - a snuffbox was dropped on his back but he ignored that.

 

He sighted the two thieves and he detected the little gilt framed painting that the blonde, frizzed haired woman was holding. They were at the end of the hallway and it led out on the world famous Sacred Gardens – where there the King could be seen with his Queen on long romantic walks.

The women ran down the steps as soon as they sighted Tromaphona. They knew as everybody else knew: that he was a virtuous cat; that he would not let up until he had the good deed done. But they ran anyway.

There was an enormous whirly-gag down the stairs as fruit baskets bombed onto the ground as well as pegs and linen.

The women ran and ran out on the Sacred Garden till an unassuming rock which happened to be covered with green paint which was the same colour as the grass, tripped them over. They fell over head first and the cat crept up the rock and jumped on them.

Tromaphona boomed, "Criminals, I have caught thee! Why didst thou steal the boy's painting?" The blonde answered, "Filthy cat. Not even in God’s Hell am I telling thee!" But the tired looking woman piling upon the woman admonished, "Glenda, good lady, shush. Surrender thou to the worthy feline and go quietly."

Tromaphona sighed and shouted the guards to come as he had the authority to do that - since upstanding citizens of the kingdom could gain that honour of power.

 

When they held the women, Tromaphona interrogated them.

After an hour of that, not using torture, the women admitted the reason.

They told him that they stole the painting, because they hated that their ex-lovers ignored them and decided to unite in hurting them with hurting what their ex-lovers loved best. Namely - that boy.

 

Tromaphona asked the guards to take away them to await trial and the painting was given back to the boy. When he received it, he was ecstatic and his mothers gave Tromaphona a huge reward of gold.

 

And they all lived happily ever after, except for the jealous ex-lovers in court.

 

The End