What Do You Lie About?

[Vigile]

 

 

I think it undermines trust because the truth usually comes out in other ways. Then, your character comes into question and conflict results.

 

True, but what if you create unnecessary conflict or hurt other's feelings? Wouldn't that devalue your character and create conflicts just as much or more but just in different ways?

[Tabula Rasa]

Well, I'm not really a CIA operative and I don't own a Summer home in the Hamptons...

 

And I'm really not a supernatural being responsible for a lot of strange phenomena Charles Fort wrote about.

[Foxy Methoxy]

You were lying when you told me that?

[AlphaToOmega]

Never lie to your wife. That's the rule. No iff's but's or anyting else...except the following:

1) If she asks how these clothes make her look.

2) If she asks how she look's

3) If she asks anything about her body that you think she may possibly in some Universe take offence to even though you mean it as a compliment.

4) If she asks what you think of her paint choice for the lounge...kitchen...etc

5) If she asks do you find other women hot.

6) you get the idea...

 

Never ever lie to your husband. That's also the rule...except...

1) If he asks if you had an orgasm.

2) See (1)

 

If he doesn't know the truth about that he needs to. Sheesh, how is he supposed to learn? I've been married a long time and that issue was yeeeeeaaaarrrrsss ago. But, a wife has to be honest about that unless they both want to be sexually frustrated for the rest of their lives.

 

Well, technically only one will be sexually frustrated the other will just remain sexually ignorant. LOL

I should have put a smiley in the post as it was meant to be humour. My bad.

[Mongo]

I lie to spare the feelings of others and when honesty makes me look worse than I want to look. Examples include how many beers I had last night before driving home, whether or not these shorts make my wife's ass look big, do I ever wish I had remained single, etc. Sometimes a lie makes things less complicated. When one's lies make things more complicated, one is abusing the tactic.

 

 

But if you get caught lying, doesn't that make things much more complicated? Doesn't lying about some of those things just make you suspect? For example saying you never ever wished you'd remained single. Don't we all have those feelings sometimes? Why can't you just say so?

 

 

My lies tend to fall into the unverifiable category, so getting caught is not a problem. For instance, I don't lie about where I've been, who I've seen, or what I've been up to. I don't cheat on my wife or have a secret life, so those sorts of lies are unnecessary. As for the Do you ever wish you had remained single question, it calls for a yes or no response, and my honest response is more complicated than that. It's basically along the lines of "Yes, because then I could have a variety of sex partners and I wouldn't have to put up with your annoying traits and I could do whatever I want, but overall I like our life together very much and I love you and the kids and I would not trade for what's behind Curtain Number Two so can we skip the fight and go straight to the make-up sex?"

 

So "no" is simpler for me, and there is my inner Thoreau that constantly exhorts me to "simplify, simplify."

 

Sheesh. I think you can tell the truth and not lay all that out too, ya know?

 

How about,"well, sometimes I think the single life might be nice but then I think of how much I love you and I wouldn't trade you and the kids in for anything"!

 

 

Hey, that is good! If I could consistently pull that off, I would rarely have to lie at all. Unfortunately, I have a heavy hand on the truth spigot, and when I open it you wouldn't believe how much honesty gushes forth. Therefore, I have to try to be moderate with the truth, as, indeed, I try to be moderate in all things.

 

This set of exchanges is an excellent example of an honest person being portrayed as a liar. Every time I see this I shake my head.

 

Robear was the only one with the guts to fess up. The most honest person here. And damnit, someone nailed him on it.

 

And that my friends is why I, like Robear, will tell the same types of lies. Most people are not smart enough or perceptive enough to see the innocence of his confessions.

 

Go ahead slam me for what I said. It would just demonstrate that many people can't deal with an honest exchange.

 

Mongo

[Galien]

I am obsessed with telling the truth, so I don't lie. I have never seen the point of it. I didn't realise how obsessed I was until I got myself into a situation that, if it had been misinterpreted, could have landed me in jail but I still didn't lie about it.

 

I don't lie to spare the feelings of others, I just learnt how to shut up when I need to. Or, one of my favourites is "if you don't know whether your ass looks fat in that without my help go see an optometrist".

 

Yeah, I'm pretty truthful that way too.

 

Just to play devil's advocate, why is telling the truth a higher value than sparing someone their feelings or avoiding unnecessary conflict? Just for instance.

 

Ok here's a truth for ya, having your feelings hurt or having to deal with conflict will not kill you. It may even teach you to question yourself further or be accountable in some way you were not before. At the risk of getting my ass kicked why on earth are you americans so afraid of conflict or anything that will actually cause you to question your motives or deal with "negative" feelings? Surely constant avoidance of said issues keeps one immature.

[Galien]

I lie to spare the feelings of others and when honesty makes me look worse than I want to look. Examples include how many beers I had last night before driving home, whether or not these shorts make my wife's ass look big, do I ever wish I had remained single, etc. Sometimes a lie makes things less complicated. When one's lies make things more complicated, one is abusing the tactic.

 

 

But if you get caught lying, doesn't that make things much more complicated? Doesn't lying about some of those things just make you suspect? For example saying you never ever wished you'd remained single. Don't we all have those feelings sometimes? Why can't you just say so?

 

 

My lies tend to fall into the unverifiable category, so getting caught is not a problem. For instance, I don't lie about where I've been, who I've seen, or what I've been up to. I don't cheat on my wife or have a secret life, so those sorts of lies are unnecessary. As for the Do you ever wish you had remained single question, it calls for a yes or no response, and my honest response is more complicated than that. It's basically along the lines of "Yes, because then I could have a variety of sex partners and I wouldn't have to put up with your annoying traits and I could do whatever I want, but overall I like our life together very much and I love you and the kids and I would not trade for what's behind Curtain Number Two so can we skip the fight and go straight to the make-up sex?"

 

So "no" is simpler for me, and there is my inner Thoreau that constantly exhorts me to "simplify, simplify."

 

Sheesh. I think you can tell the truth and not lay all that out too, ya know?

 

How about,"well, sometimes I think the single life might be nice but then I think of how much I love you and I wouldn't trade you and the kids in for anything"!

 

 

Hey, that is good! If I could consistently pull that off, I would rarely have to lie at all. Unfortunately, I have a heavy hand on the truth spigot, and when I open it you wouldn't believe how much honesty gushes forth. Therefore, I have to try to be moderate with the truth, as, indeed, I try to be moderate in all things.

 

This set of exchanges is an excellent example of an honest person being portrayed as a liar. Every time I see this I shake my head.

 

Robear was the only one with the guts to fess up. The most honest person here. And damnit, someone nailed him on it.

 

And that my friends is why I, like Robear, will tell the same types of lies. Most people are not smart enough or perceptive enough to see the innocence of his confessions.

 

Go ahead slam me for what I said. It would just demonstrate that many people can't deal with an honest exchange.

 

Mongo

 

I like ro bear too, but then I would have to ask, why the assumption that various sex partners would be something better than just the one who loves you, that his boredom with the one is somehow her fault, and that his traits are any less anoying than hers?? The grass is NOT always greener.

[Paradox]

Fundies claim all lies are equal and equally terrible.

 

I recommend Ian Ross Vayro's book They Lied to Us in Sunday School

[Vigile]

I am obsessed with telling the truth, so I don't lie. I have never seen the point of it. I didn't realise how obsessed I was until I got myself into a situation that, if it had been misinterpreted, could have landed me in jail but I still didn't lie about it.

 

I don't lie to spare the feelings of others, I just learnt how to shut up when I need to. Or, one of my favourites is "if you don't know whether your ass looks fat in that without my help go see an optometrist".

 

Yeah, I'm pretty truthful that way too.

 

Just to play devil's advocate, why is telling the truth a higher value than sparing someone their feelings or avoiding unnecessary conflict? Just for instance.

 

Ok here's a truth for ya, having your feelings hurt or having to deal with conflict will not kill you. It may even teach you to question yourself further or be accountable in some way you were not before. At the risk of getting my ass kicked why on earth are you americans so afraid of conflict or anything that will actually cause you to question your motives or deal with "negative" feelings? Surely constant avoidance of said issues keeps one immature.

 

I don't think Americans are afraid of conflict, but many certainly try and avoid it when possible because they feel it is unnecessary to hurt other's feelings over trivialities. BTW, watching a few Aussie shows, like Australia's Got Talent and Master Chef, I have to say that Australian people seem to be pretty kind to one another on a quite heart warming level.

 

But again, why is this uber honesty more important than sparing a few feelings over matters that, well, just don't matter?

[Kathlene]

I am obsessed with telling the truth, so I don't lie. I have never seen the point of it. I didn't realise how obsessed I was until I got myself into a situation that, if it had been misinterpreted, could have landed me in jail but I still didn't lie about it.

 

I don't lie to spare the feelings of others, I just learnt how to shut up when I need to. Or, one of my favourites is "if you don't know whether your ass looks fat in that without my help go see an optometrist".

 

Yeah, I'm pretty truthful that way too.

 

Just to play devil's advocate, why is telling the truth a higher value than sparing someone their feelings or avoiding unnecessary conflict? Just for instance.

 

Ok here's a truth for ya, having your feelings hurt or having to deal with conflict will not kill you. It may even teach you to question yourself further or be accountable in some way you were not before. At the risk of getting my ass kicked why on earth are you americans so afraid of conflict or anything that will actually cause you to question your motives or deal with "negative" feelings? Surely constant avoidance of said issues keeps one immature.

 

I don't think Americans are afraid of conflict, but many certainly try and avoid it when possible because they feel it is unnecessary to hurt other's feelings over trivialities. BTW, watching a few Aussie shows, like Australia's Got Talent and Master Chef, I have to say that Australian people seem to be pretty kind to one another on a quite heart warming level.

 

But again, why is this uber honesty more important than sparing a few feelings over matters that, well, just don't matter?

 

Where on earth did you find those shows to watch all the way over in Russia?

Aussies are too lazy and indifferent to get riled up about anything except sport, lol.

[Galien]

I am obsessed with telling the truth, so I don't lie. I have never seen the point of it. I didn't realise how obsessed I was until I got myself into a situation that, if it had been misinterpreted, could have landed me in jail but I still didn't lie about it.

 

I don't lie to spare the feelings of others, I just learnt how to shut up when I need to. Or, one of my favourites is "if you don't know whether your ass looks fat in that without my help go see an optometrist".

 

Yeah, I'm pretty truthful that way too.

 

Just to play devil's advocate, why is telling the truth a higher value than sparing someone their feelings or avoiding unnecessary conflict? Just for instance.

 

Ok here's a truth for ya, having your feelings hurt or having to deal with conflict will not kill you. It may even teach you to question yourself further or be accountable in some way you were not before. At the risk of getting my ass kicked why on earth are you americans so afraid of conflict or anything that will actually cause you to question your motives or deal with "negative" feelings? Surely constant avoidance of said issues keeps one immature.

 

I don't think Americans are afraid of conflict, but many certainly try and avoid it when possible because they feel it is unnecessary to hurt other's feelings over trivialities. BTW, watching a few Aussie shows, like Australia's Got Talent and Master Chef, I have to say that Australian people seem to be pretty kind to one another on a quite heart warming level.

 

But again, why is this uber honesty more important than sparing a few feelings over matters that, well, just don't matter?

 

Over things that don't matter, I don't really say much. I'm not interested in silly things like does this dress make me look fat. I don't deliberately tell people they look like shit for fun

 

It's the things that do matter, and that need to be adressed where I think the honesty is important. Im just not into avoidance I guess and i would rather deal with the elephant in the room than ignore it until I end up covered in a pile of elephant shit.

 

Yeah aussies are pretty kind most of the time, we are pretty laid back. (OMG, we actually torture you with Masterchef? Sorry about that). I guess I have felt attacked several times by some americans (not all) because of what I perceive as my realism but they perceive as negativity. I guess I just don't understand why it is such a big issue for some people.

[Vigile]

 

Where on earth did you find those shows to watch all the way over in Russia?

Aussies are too lazy and indifferent to get riled up about anything except sport, lol.

 

I stream them online.

 

In Thailand the Aussies on vacation, at least a lot of them, would sit in the Australian bar and watch rugby. I thought it was pretty funny that they would travel to an exotic location and spend their precious vacation time with other Aussies watching sports.

[AlphaToOmega]

Where on earth did you find those shows to watch all the way over in Russia?

Aussies are too lazy and indifferent to get riled up about anything except sport, lol.

 

I stream them online.

 

In Thailand the Aussies on vacation, at least a lot of them, would sit in the Australian bar and watch rugby. I thought it was pretty funny that they would travel to an exotic location and spend their precious vacation time with other Aussies watching sports.

 

What can I say, we're all fucked up!

 

I don't like sports. OK, I like Moto GP.

Yes, I ride a bike. Makes me a temporary Australian as they say here.

Its a pissy little bike, no more than 135HP at the rear wheel.

I feel like a sissy but I'll get it up to 170HP one day!

[Ro-bear]

I lie to spare the feelings of others and when honesty makes me look worse than I want to look. Examples include how many beers I had last night before driving home, whether or not these shorts make my wife's ass look big, do I ever wish I had remained single, etc. Sometimes a lie makes things less complicated. When one's lies make things more complicated, one is abusing the tactic.

 

 

But if you get caught lying, doesn't that make things much more complicated? Doesn't lying about some of those things just make you suspect? For example saying you never ever wished you'd remained single. Don't we all have those feelings sometimes? Why can't you just say so?

 

 

My lies tend to fall into the unverifiable category, so getting caught is not a problem. For instance, I don't lie about where I've been, who I've seen, or what I've been up to. I don't cheat on my wife or have a secret life, so those sorts of lies are unnecessary. As for the Do you ever wish you had remained single question, it calls for a yes or no response, and my honest response is more complicated than that. It's basically along the lines of "Yes, because then I could have a variety of sex partners and I wouldn't have to put up with your annoying traits and I could do whatever I want, but overall I like our life together very much and I love you and the kids and I would not trade for what's behind Curtain Number Two so can we skip the fight and go straight to the make-up sex?"

 

So "no" is simpler for me, and there is my inner Thoreau that constantly exhorts me to "simplify, simplify."

 

Sheesh. I think you can tell the truth and not lay all that out too, ya know?

 

How about,"well, sometimes I think the single life might be nice but then I think of how much I love you and I wouldn't trade you and the kids in for anything"!

 

 

Hey, that is good! If I could consistently pull that off, I would rarely have to lie at all. Unfortunately, I have a heavy hand on the truth spigot, and when I open it you wouldn't believe how much honesty gushes forth. Therefore, I have to try to be moderate with the truth, as, indeed, I try to be moderate in all things.

 

This set of exchanges is an excellent example of an honest person being portrayed as a liar. Every time I see this I shake my head.

 

Robear was the only one with the guts to fess up. The most honest person here. And damnit, someone nailed him on it.

 

And that my friends is why I, like Robear, will tell the same types of lies. Most people are not smart enough or perceptive enough to see the innocence of his confessions.

 

Go ahead slam me for what I said. It would just demonstrate that many people can't deal with an honest exchange.

 

Mongo

 

I like ro bear too, but then I would have to ask, why the assumption that various sex partners would be something better than just the one who loves you, that his boredom with the one is somehow her fault, and that his traits are any less anoying than hers?? The grass is NOT always greener.

 

 

Of the three "assumptions", I only assume the first. Prior experience as a single man supports that assumption. I have been with no one but my wife in over twenty years. I love my wife, but I would be far more excited to find I was sleeping with, say, Samantha Brown of Travel Channel fame tonight. I think lots of guys are like that. Just shoot us all, me first I guess.

 

I do not assume my "boredom" with her is her fault; same thing would happen with Samantha Brown after twenty years.

 

I do not assume her traits are any more annoying than mine. In fact, I resent the implication that her ability to annoy outstrips my own prodigious abilities in that regard. I am so good at it, I don't even try to annoy others but somehow manage. My dear wife is probably as annoyed by my conflict avoidance behavior as I am by her conflict seeking behavior. And, because we love each other, she often gives me the peace I need and I sometimes give her the conflict she craves. Mostly for the make-up sex, though.

[Mongo]

I lie to spare the feelings of others and when honesty makes me look worse than I want to look. Examples include how many beers I had last night before driving home, whether or not these shorts make my wife's ass look big, do I ever wish I had remained single, etc. Sometimes a lie makes things less complicated. When one's lies make things more complicated, one is abusing the tactic.

 

 

But if you get caught lying, doesn't that make things much more complicated? Doesn't lying about some of those things just make you suspect? For example saying you never ever wished you'd remained single. Don't we all have those feelings sometimes? Why can't you just say so?

 

 

My lies tend to fall into the unverifiable category, so getting caught is not a problem. For instance, I don't lie about where I've been, who I've seen, or what I've been up to. I don't cheat on my wife or have a secret life, so those sorts of lies are unnecessary. As for the Do you ever wish you had remained single question, it calls for a yes or no response, and my honest response is more complicated than that. It's basically along the lines of "Yes, because then I could have a variety of sex partners and I wouldn't have to put up with your annoying traits and I could do whatever I want, but overall I like our life together very much and I love you and the kids and I would not trade for what's behind Curtain Number Two so can we skip the fight and go straight to the make-up sex?"

 

So "no" is simpler for me, and there is my inner Thoreau that constantly exhorts me to "simplify, simplify."

 

Sheesh. I think you can tell the truth and not lay all that out too, ya know?

 

How about,"well, sometimes I think the single life might be nice but then I think of how much I love you and I wouldn't trade you and the kids in for anything"!

 

 

Hey, that is good! If I could consistently pull that off, I would rarely have to lie at all. Unfortunately, I have a heavy hand on the truth spigot, and when I open it you wouldn't believe how much honesty gushes forth. Therefore, I have to try to be moderate with the truth, as, indeed, I try to be moderate in all things.

 

This set of exchanges is an excellent example of an honest person being portrayed as a liar. Every time I see this I shake my head.

 

Robear was the only one with the guts to fess up. The most honest person here. And damnit, someone nailed him on it.

 

And that my friends is why I, like Robear, will tell the same types of lies. Most people are not smart enough or perceptive enough to see the innocence of his confessions.

 

Go ahead slam me for what I said. It would just demonstrate that many people can't deal with an honest exchange.

 

Mongo

 

I like ro bear too, but then I would have to ask, why the assumption that various sex partners would be something better than just the one who loves you, that his boredom with the one is somehow her fault, and that his traits are any less anoying than hers?? The grass is NOT always greener.

 

I don't see that specific question as the issue. The reaction of most people an honest response is the issue.

 

Those who have carved and crafted their lives to only be close to people who can deal with honest are brilliant. Good for them. Kudos!!!

 

Many/most of us have some people in our lives that live in an imaginary world. Family is one thing but coworkers are another. Dumb and stupid coworkers don't get my full and honest opinion.

 

Those management folks above me with fragile egos don't either. If you manage employees you quickly learn that many of them have a hard time with frank and honest conversations. If you are straight up with some of them, those same people will use that bit of truth against you. That is why management is for those who know how to add nuance (yes subtle lies!!!) to what they say.

 

Unless you have the power to fire those that can't deal with an honest manager, then it is better to not unnecessarily piss off someone who will set you up or thwart you.

 

In management, be as honest as you absolutely can and go to great lengths to not create a situation where you need to be less than forthright.

 

I recommend that people should live by the aphorism that you don't ask a question you don't want answered. Unfortunately, many don't.

 

My wife asks questions like, "Do you want to rent a cottage with my parents?". I mean really, they're trolls the whole lot of them. They all all hard workers but they don't know how to talk to each other. My FIL lost my respect when he yelled at my wife when she was 8 1/2 mo. pregnant for having lost the combination to a lock on a bicycle chained up in the basement of her appt. building for 2 years. Answering that question honestly is a decision by me to force her to confront the truth about her family of trolls.

 

Is it my job to make her grow up? Or should I suck it up and put up with their baggage for a week or a weekend. Or is honesty so damn valuable that it is work risking a huge conflict with my wife that could eventually lead to divorce just so that I can have the honour of telling everyone I'm honest.

 

Mongo

[ilovemybrain]

Yes I lie very occasionally to spare people's feelings. I agree with whoever said "why is that inherently wrong, compared to telling the truth?" But with the closest relationships I prize most, I find secrets hard to bear, and honesty is more important, so that we can tell each other anything and trust each other. Doesn't mean I tell everyone everything, but when good friends ask, I tell the truth. I have found that the friends worth keeping, can handle a lot more truth than I would think they could. I no longer see it as a matter of "right and wrong" in the biblical sense of sin and offending a deity. I see in terms of bad, poor, neutral, good, better, best, depending on the situation and the people. If you lie to someone you can't really be known for who you really are. If someone knows the whole truth about you, they can accept you as you really are, and they can feel safe being themselves with you too. If you want relationships where people tell you the truth, you have to be willing to accept them even when you don't like the truth. It is sometimes messy and takes a lot of hard work communicating.

 

And the truth about me is...I'd like to run away with Jabbrwokk to a cabin in rural Poland and drink potato vodka all day by a river. And my husband is ok with this truth. Except the running away with someone else part. Cuz I really don't want to run away. But he and I understand the thing about sometimes wishing we were single. We can at least be honest about that much.

 

But yes I agree this isn't true of every relationship. Not everyone needs to know everything, and there are ways to either lie or just say "none of your damn business".

 

The other reason I don't like lying is I have a lousy memory so I totally suck at it cuz I can't keep my story (or my face) straight.

[dB-Paradox]

I lie often, and I don't even feel badly about it. I'm not lying!

 

Seriously though, lying to cause harm to someone elses name is wrong. It hurts feelings and reputations. But if someone were to ask me where I was last night, and I said "at the movies" when really I was just ignoring their phone call, I don't see how that is any more hurtful than saying "home, ignoring your phone calls". Here's another example. I'm an adult male with two girls here on this forum. So, IRL, what if I were actually a 16 year old female? Does it really matter? So, I say either lie or tell them it's none of their business. But if you have a hard time doing the latter, just lie.

[Galien]

Yeah I guess it is one of the areas where I seem to be different from most people. I have lived an abusive life in many ways starting when I was very small, so I have always had to confront the truth head on, and it is just the way I have developed as a person. The reason I left the church is because it is based on so many lies and avoidances and I cannot cope with anything except the raw, honest truth. I have never had time for dreams or fantasies or just generally being off with the fairies. If the emporer is naked, he just is and I don't see the point in pretending otherwise.

 

However I get that we are socialised into believing lying is okay for whatever reason, I just think that a lot of the stuff we are socialised into believing is crap. But it seems to keep the world working in its dishonest, self centred way and there is nothing I can do to change that. I guess I just don't understand how people aren't embarrassed by their lying. I guess if you are socialised into believing its okay, then it wont matter. At the bottom of it all I am wondering why people don't question conventional wisdom more often, or feel more personally accountable to themselves for their honesty level.

[Margee]

I wish so much I could tell the truth 100% of the time to everyone...........but I can't .........because it would hurt me and others........... so I

choose to revert to this notion called 'lying'. I prefer to call it, 'withholding the full truth.

[dB-Paradox]

I prefer to call it, 'withholding the full truth.

The problem, I find, is that people seem to hold this sense of entitlement when it comes to being told information. There seems to be little difference between lying and saying, "It's none of your damn business". People seem to think they deserve to "know". But they don't! And it's that mentality that causes people to lie. I agree with Margee that it's withholding the full truth, or information. People are so nosy!

[AlphaToOmega]

Can telling the truth be morally wrong. Yes.

Can telling a lie be morally right. Yes.

Can withholding the truth be morally right or wrong. Yes to both.

 

E.g for the first, you know a father who would kill his daughter if he knew she was dating a black guy.

You know she has a black boyfriend.

He asks you about it. Truth will get her killed.

 

e.g. for the second case, same as above but you played ignorant and avoided the question. He wants an answer or he'll assume you're lying.

A lie will save her.

 

Same as the third case. There's no need for you to go tell the father just so he knows the truth. That would be morally wrong.

 

Likewise a person about to jump into a swimming pool that you know has live wires in it. It would be morally wrong to withhold that information.

 

Basically, there are no absolutes. The truth is not always the correct, moral or only choice. Neither is lying always the incorrect or immoral choice.

There simply are no absolutes here.

[renoliz]

I love this topic since I am going to tell my neighbor who has been cutting my hair at her shop in town for the last couple of years a big whopper. She burns me with the blow dryer and her fingers have long nails that hurt when she is doing the hair fluffing thing and my last haircut was so bad my husband gasped when he saw me. I'm done going to her.

 

When she calls to see if I am ready for another haircut, I am going to flat out lie. I am going to tell her my dear mother-in-law insisted on getting me a haircut at her favorite hairdressers. Sorry, maybe next time. I just can't bear to tell her she sucks. Yes, some of my haircuts have been fine but on top of the pain I feel when I am getting my hair blow dried, the pain of paying $30 for a haircut and tipping her on top of that is just too much for me.

[freespirit]

I think it undermines trust because the truth usually comes out in other ways. Then, your character comes into question and conflict results.

 

True, but what if you create unnecessary conflict or hurt other's feelings? Wouldn't that devalue your character and create conflicts just as much or more but just in different ways?

 

It could. I think a balance is needed. People often lie when it is completely unnecessary. I guess because when I was a fundie for so long, I never lied (and still try not to), I learned there are ways to be truthful without hurting people's feelings and without lying. However, I will concede that fundie's can lie without believing they are. So that's a gray area. However, most of the time that people lie, they probably don't need to and would be better off if they didn't. My opinion.

[freespirit]

Well, I'm not really a CIA operative and I don't own a Summer home in the Hamptons...

 

And I'm really not a supernatural being responsible for a lot of strange phenomena Charles Fort wrote about.

 

I think this post is a lie.

[freespirit]

Never lie to your wife. That's the rule. No iff's but's or anyting else...except the following:

1) If she asks how these clothes make her look.

2) If she asks how she look's

3) If she asks anything about her body that you think she may possibly in some Universe take offence to even though you mean it as a compliment.

4) If she asks what you think of her paint choice for the lounge...kitchen...etc

5) If she asks do you find other women hot.

6) you get the idea...

 

Never ever lie to your husband. That's also the rule...except...

1) If he asks if you had an orgasm.

2) See (1)

 

If he doesn't know the truth about that he needs to. Sheesh, how is he supposed to learn? I've been married a long time and that issue was yeeeeeaaaarrrrsss ago. But, a wife has to be honest about that unless they both want to be sexually frustrated for the rest of their lives.

 

Well, technically only one will be sexually frustrated the other will just remain sexually ignorant. LOL

I should have put a smiley in the post as it was meant to be humour. My bad.

 

Nah. He will also be as she learns to say no.