freespirit Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 I lie to spare the feelings of others and when honesty makes me look worse than I want to look. Examples include how many beers I had last night before driving home, whether or not these shorts make my wife's ass look big, do I ever wish I had remained single, etc. Sometimes a lie makes things less complicated. When one's lies make things more complicated, one is abusing the tactic. But if you get caught lying, doesn't that make things much more complicated? Doesn't lying about some of those things just make you suspect? For example saying you never ever wished you'd remained single. Don't we all have those feelings sometimes? Why can't you just say so? My lies tend to fall into the unverifiable category, so getting caught is not a problem. For instance, I don't lie about where I've been, who I've seen, or what I've been up to. I don't cheat on my wife or have a secret life, so those sorts of lies are unnecessary. As for the Do you ever wish you had remained single question, it calls for a yes or no response, and my honest response is more complicated than that. It's basically along the lines of "Yes, because then I could have a variety of sex partners and I wouldn't have to put up with your annoying traits and I could do whatever I want, but overall I like our life together very much and I love you and the kids and I would not trade for what's behind Curtain Number Two so can we skip the fight and go straight to the make-up sex?" So "no" is simpler for me, and there is my inner Thoreau that constantly exhorts me to "simplify, simplify." Sheesh. I think you can tell the truth and not lay all that out too, ya know? How about,"well, sometimes I think the single life might be nice but then I think of how much I love you and I wouldn't trade you and the kids in for anything"! Hey, that is good! If I could consistently pull that off, I would rarely have to lie at all. Unfortunately, I have a heavy hand on the truth spigot, and when I open it you wouldn't believe how much honesty gushes forth. Therefore, I have to try to be moderate with the truth, as, indeed, I try to be moderate in all things. This set of exchanges is an excellent example of an honest person being portrayed as a liar. Every time I see this I shake my head. Robear was the only one with the guts to fess up. The most honest person here. And damnit, someone nailed him on it. And that my friends is why I, like Robear, will tell the same types of lies. Most people are not smart enough or perceptive enough to see the innocence of his confessions. Go ahead slam me for what I said. It would just demonstrate that many people can't deal with an honest exchange. Mongo LOL! My but we are a bit defensive. No need for a slam. RoBear was honest enough to say these things, I will grant him that. But he wasn't being "nailed". However, I disagree with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freespirit Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 I am obsessed with telling the truth, so I don't lie. I have never seen the point of it. I didn't realise how obsessed I was until I got myself into a situation that, if it had been misinterpreted, could have landed me in jail but I still didn't lie about it. I don't lie to spare the feelings of others, I just learnt how to shut up when I need to. Or, one of my favourites is "if you don't know whether your ass looks fat in that without my help go see an optometrist". Yeah, I'm pretty truthful that way too. Just to play devil's advocate, why is telling the truth a higher value than sparing someone their feelings or avoiding unnecessary conflict? Just for instance. Ok here's a truth for ya, having your feelings hurt or having to deal with conflict will not kill you. It may even teach you to question yourself further or be accountable in some way you were not before. At the risk of getting my ass kicked why on earth are you americans so afraid of conflict or anything that will actually cause you to question your motives or deal with "negative" feelings? Surely constant avoidance of said issues keeps one immature. Yes, I agree Galien. When people don't tell me the truth I get the feeling they think I'm a wuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dB-Paradox Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 There seems to be a division of opinions here. And this is only a joke, but maybe we could classify the two as "pro-truthers" and "pro-withholders" I'm so much in favor of a person having the right to withhold information, one might call me a pro-liar! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freespirit Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 There seems to be a division of opinions here. And this is only a joke, but maybe we could classify the two as "pro-truthers" and "pro-withholders" I'm so much in favor of a person having the right to withhold information, one might call me a pro-liar! Actually, I am quite pro "withholding information" but I don't think that's the same thing as telling a blatant lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freespirit Posted June 18, 2011 Author Share Posted June 18, 2011 Here is a Christian lie: God healed me! (When they are just wishing) I know there are a ton more but my mind is drawing an immediate blank. I'm sure folks can come up with a few of these! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Methoxy Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 "If you read the Bible every day, God will speak to you through it's pages." "Give unto the Lord and he will return your offerings tenfold!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galien Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 "If you read the Bible every day, God will speak to you through it's pages." "Give unto the Lord and he will return your offerings tenfold!" And my particular favourite god will not give you any more than you can deal with. Wonder why that didn't work for the christians I know that have killed themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RankStranger Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 I like how RoBear put it. I've no problem telling small lies to simplify a situation... they're a damn useful tool. But if it's a lie that could have consequences and/or will need to be remembered and defended... then I'll likely avoid it if possible. For me it isn't a matter of principle at all- just convenience. Also with certain people- my parents in particular- they just plain don't WANT to know the truth at times. Hell, my mom has explicitly said that when I've mentioned some odd or interesting thing that I've done at some point. It's not like I'm living some dangerous or radical lifestyle... I'm as tame as a labrador retriever 99% of the time. But on those rare occasions when I get outside the lines- those are the occasions that make for a good story. And some people literally don't want to know about that sort of thing. So it's easier for me to just lie and/or omit for the sake of their comfort. In some ways I would LIKE to be able to share more with my parents (for instance)... they'd know me better and I could know them better. But they've made it clear that they're not emotionally capable of processing certain things... so I don't tell them about the time that I accidentally picked up a male hooker. Or the time I jammed a ratchet handle into a co-worker's adam's-apple when he pissed me off. Or one time quite a few years ago when I blacked out due to a combination of whiskey, pot, and hydrocodone, and don't remember to this day what happened (although I've been told stories that I don't really believe). Or just last night when a friend and I wandered around a part of town where no white man should ever be after dark... looking through assorted nasty bars and strip clubs trying to find our drunk-ass friend who had wandered off. But I didn't lie to my wife about the strip clubs- I told her all about it. I PREFER honesty when possible (or when convenient, I should say). Unlike my christian friend who will never divulge to his wife what went on last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedAtheist Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 I pretty much lie to avoid being inconvenienced. So, in saying that though, I have to be pretty inconvenienced to lie, generally. Other than that, I try to be honest as I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 There seems to be a division of opinions here. And this is only a joke, but maybe we could classify the two as "pro-truthers" and "pro-withholders" I'm so much in favor of a person having the right to withhold information, one might call me a pro-liar! Actually, I am quite pro "withholding information" but I don't think that's the same thing as telling a blatant lie. True. And watching a baby drown is not the same as drowning a baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legion Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagan Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Honesty is overrated. Yes. I lie. Not for work. I would never take money to lie. But life is complicated. So I lie to protect myself from ugly emotional fights, from unnecessary conflict, and to keep the peace in my house. And I don't need my life boiled down to a thought experiment. It's my life, complicated and messy and lovely in its ways. And I make the decisions in it, for good or for bad. Do I lie more than when I was a Christian? No. But now I don't feel honour-bound to blurt out everything in my head. Which is a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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