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Goodbye Jesus

Rebuttle To "i'll Pray For You!"


deconverted

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Since my deconversion a few months ago, I have noticed that all my Christian friends still treat me with such a superior attitude over me. They sound sound very condicending and talk as if I have done an awful thing to myself, my wife, and family. They always end our conversations with, "well, I'll still keep praying for you" or simply "I'll pray for you". I was trying to come up with some sort of opposite to the "I'll pray for you comment" that I could say back to them and catch them off guard. Something like "I'll be thinking for you"...or, I'll be reasoning and thinking logically for you". I assume they'll be slightly put off and offended, but maybe they'll see how they are doing the same thing to me! Any ideas of the opposite of "I'll pray for you" I can give them?

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How about "Thanks!"

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...And I'll be thinking for you

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"Don't pray for me, think for yourself."

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I'll be wishing on a horseshoe for you....

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you could try something like: "why waste God's ear on little old me? Go big. Think of all the people dying of starvation, disease, and from war."

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"I'll tell santa you've been good!"

 

"Odin requires all requests be submitted in writing"

 

"I'll sacrifice a goat in your name!"

 

"I'll wish on a star for you!"

 

"OOhh...you may want to pray for yourself...just sayin' "

 

"If it'll make you feel better"

 

Or the non-confrontational response

"Thanks"

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Or, "Zeus already knows before you even ask!"

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You’ve got a better chance teaching an elephant to fly then explaining to a christ psychotic that prayer is useless.

 

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How about "Thanks!"

 

This of course is what I always say, but I am just getting tired of how unbalanced every conversation goes. Unbalanced might be the wrong word, but my point is, when I meet with my friends (and I continue to meet with them because I don't want to be rude and because I want to show that I have respect for them as friends and human beings, and don't necessarily want to loose their friendship), the conversation is always unbalanced in the sense that they are the ones coming on with their arguments and the attitude of they have truth and are right in their beliefs. I know they think they need to go out and witness to the "lost", but I am just tired of the way it has been going. They expect me to think about every argument they give (and I do/have thought about them), yet when I come back with an answer or question, or point out their inconsistency, it never get's addresses and they just sluff it off with typical Christian responses.

 

I am beginning to stop my religious/christian conversations with them, and there might be a wedge that will eventually come between us because of that, but if that is the way they are going to handle it, then it's their loss. I just want something to say back to them that points out the ridiculousness of what they are saying to me about praying for me. I know I won't convince them, but maybe it will at least make me feel better!

 

Good responses so far! Thanks!

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About 22,000 children will die in the next 24 hours due to starvation but yes pray for me if it makes you feel better.

 

That might be a bit harsh but I'd love to be a fly on the wall if you said it. :wicked:

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I say "Ok". But here's the thing...I have a REALLY dry sense of humor/sarcasm. Like, to the point where I can confuse myself if I'm serious or not. I say that "Ok" with that dry sarcastic tone, and most people don't really notice. The few that do get caught off guard a little bit cause they are unsure if I was serious or not. Nobody has confronted me yet though...

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how bout

 

if it makes you feel better.

 

 

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Say "Why bother? God already knows what is best, right?"

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"So, are you telling me this for my benefit or god's? I thought Jesus said to keep these things to yourself."

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Tell them not to bother because you've blasphemed against the holy spirit which is unforgivable so you are clearly a lost cause never to be saved again.

 

Or, if they're calvinists say 'don't worry, once saved always saved"

 

I think my husband used to say something along the lines of 'I'll wave my magic wand for you.' or 'thanks, have some fairy dust in return.'

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"You mean you can change the mind of God?!"

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May his noodley appendage foreshadow my footsteps. Blessed be his savory balls of meat, ramen.

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And I'll blaspheme for you. :)

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"I'll pray for ya" means I'll go into meditation and concentrate on your problems, and maybe the all knowing creator in which I believe might indulge in particular providence and actually change the aeons-long plan for the universe on my narcissistic arrogant behalf. This is said in all seriousness without any awareness of the massive cognitive dissonance required to pull it off. When I hear it I usually want to collapse on the floor in laughter. :HaHa:

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Why pray for me? I'm not the one over burdened by guilt and temptation for simply being human.

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how bout

 

if it makes you feel better.

 

I have said this, sometimes with the added phrase "knock yourself out."

 

But, when I'm in a less bitchy mood and if the person is someone I want to remain on semi-good terms with, I simply say, "Thanks for thinking of me."

 

I feel this allows me to retain some personal integrity because it relieves me from pretending to be grateful to them for doing something as ridiculous and utterly useless as talking to imaginary beings. It's honest; because they were thinking of me, at least during the few seconds it took for them to say, "I'll pray for you," and so it's an acknowledgment of their good (though ultimately worthless) intentions.

 

In addition, when I say "Thanks for thinking of me," the brief look of confusion on the True Believer's face is priceless! Initially, for a few moments, they don't know whether they've just been dissed or whether their prayer offer is genuinely appreciated. (Or maybe they're simply shocked for being thanked for "thinking," since it is such a rare event in their lives?)

 

But, because they believe in the "power of prayer," they snap out of that pretty quickly. They go off thinking they've actually accomplished something, and I leave the encounter inwardly chuckling about their stupidity. It's a win-win scenario.

 

:lmao:

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"Live long and prosper", complete with the Spock's hand gesture...

 

course my former church friends already know I'm a dork...

 

 

"You're a jerk, a complete kneebiter”

 

Wowbagger, the Infinitely Prolonged

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Why don't you ask your Christian friends why all the popes and christians have been praying for peace for over 2000 years. Has any of that come true? As a matter of fact it appears the more they pray for peace the worse things get. Ask them to explain that.

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If its an old christian friends i just say, "thanks".

If its my parents I say, "don't bother".

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